The Hidden Battle

Memories of you swirl around my head as I swat them away like flies.

I fight feelings of anger and grief as I pick up the shattered pieces of my heart.

I struggle to paint the smile I’ve learned to wear so well as if it’s an extra skin.

I look into the mirror and despise what I see because the reflections of the past come shining through.

Thoughts of you roll through my brain as if they have stolen permission to remain.

I battle the turmoil within, trying to make sense of the void and chasm of pain.

I wrestle with my flesh to hide the sorrow so I might glance with kindness on another.

I gaze at the pictures you left behind and loathe the resemblances that cannot be shred.

Recollections ramble through my mind as that one calls your name as I look away.

I resist the hatred that threatens to take hold, as I reach out openhanded for His love.

I assail the bitterness I can taste as if it were delights for my fancy and raise my hands in praise.

I search and await His hope that is beyond this present state of being and take confidence knowing it won’t be long till His rescue is complete.

Penned – MG – 12/1/21

And not only that, but we also glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance; and perseverance, character; and character, hope. Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us.

Romans 5:3-5

Then Peter came to Him and said, “Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? Up to seven times?” Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven.

Matthew 18:21-22

An Old Friend

Some days, I simply awake with a sadness, a longing I can’t explain.

It’s not like I’ve had a bad day.

I’ve only just awakened.

Yet, the weight of pain creates tears that threatened to overflow.

I searched my thoughts to see if it’s a dream I may have had, a lack of sleep, or something that was said.

Some days, it’s just simply a feeling I must fight to see the sunshine again.

It’s not anyone’s fault.

I can’t find the one to blame.

It’s not a fitful night.

Yet, it’s like a fog that threatens to overcome my musings to darken my day.

I search for words that cannot be found and listen for comfort that cannot be grasped.

And then, I remember.

This is grief, an old but sneaky friend.

He slips in when you least expect it to settle into your morning routine like a weathered but comfy cloak.

Once his name has been revealed, I can open the blinds and let the sun beams warm my face and watch as it chases away the rain.

For grief isn’t here to crush my soul.

It is only here to remind me to feel deeply, to breathe slowly, and to focus my heart on what is to come.

And when Hope is what is to come, grief can no longer consume my exhale.

Penned – MG – 12/1/21

Those who sow in tears

Shall reap in joy.

He who continually goes forth weeping,

Bearing seed for sowing,

Shall doubtless come again with rejoicing,

Bringing his sheaves with him.

Psalm 126:5-6

https://youtu.be/YNqo4Un2uZI

I do not own or posses this song, except via Apple music.

So Many Broken and Bruised

I do not own or posses this pic.
Website: https://pixels.com/featured/mirror-reflection-loriental-photography.html

I look around at the festive gathering and underneath the smile, I see the broken and bruised.

I breathe in the cool breeze and wonder how the atmosphere can change so quickly.

I gaze across the room and fight the tears welling up as I see her laugh to hide the pain.

She wears her smirk as a veil to cover the scars that run too deep.

She flitters past to appear all together, never lighting too long to allow searching eyes to peer in.

She waved goodbye before the stories could resurface and the truth could be revealed.

Yet, in the final farewell, I saw the unshed tears held at bay by the dam of poise and finesse.

I heard the longing in her slight tremble when she claimed she’d be alright.

I watched as her frame faded into the night and wondered what shadows would chase her past the midnight.

Oh, how I wished I could bring her back.

I yearned to call her name and beg her to stay.

I looked in the mirror to see a remnant of her image peeking through the lighted reflection.

If she only recognized His love is still there waiting for her surrender.

If she only perceived His grace is still hanging on right where she left Him.

If she only realized His mercy never walked away.

She could come to know all the healing that she needed are the very things she left behind.

PENNED – MG – 11/27/21

How Grateful Are You?

I do not own or possess this pic. (Google search)

It’s that season when everyone is “supposed to be grateful.”

There are commercials, radio broadcasts, and talk shows proclaiming who’s grateful and why.

There are magazine articles and social media posts sharing the gratitude of the heart or how to show it.

But it always makes me wonder, “Why do we have to show our gratefulness only at this time of year?”

That may sound like a ridiculous question, but let me take a moment to explain…

Gratefulness is not simply a coat we should take out of the closet one season a year.

It’s not something we should dig out if the winter clothes to cover our shivering hearts.

It’s not a trinket we should wrap around our necks for the he holidays for all to see so beautifully.

Gratefulness should be a chosen lifestyle.

It should be an attitude we allow to arise in our souls with the sunshine and to glow through the night as the moonlight.

It should be as a keepsake with which we can’t depart.

Something we must carry with us at all times, whether there is someone to see the display or not.

Gratefulness should be a lifeline that sustains us on the highest mountain tops and the darkest valleys below.

It should be the countenance of our face that glitters in every season.

It should be our very heartbeats that remind us of every blessings, every beauty, and every gracious moment that has touched our lives.

It should be the very breath we breathe for every day we remain on this revolving planet.

…in everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.

1 Thessalonians 5:18

For every creature of God is good, and nothing is to be refused if it is received with thanksgiving…

1 Timothy 4:4

A merry heart does good, like medicine,

But a broken spirit dries the bones.

Proverbs 17:22

As Our Children Grow

As our children grow, we can learn so much, and we ourselves can grow

If we will only listen.

We can learn to love freely, to speak kindly and to forgive graciously

While we structure consistently, discipline conditionally and disciple unrepentantly.

Mercy must always be balanced with justice.

Wisdom must always be stretched with faith.

Grace must always be enveloped in truth.

One cannot live without the other, and the other cannot thrive without the first.

Our children can bring light to our weary souls, and we can bring comfort and security to theirs.

As our children grow, we can learn so much, and we ourselves can grow

If we will only listen.

We can learn to laugh without limits, seek without fear and be consumed with wonder

While we instill honor for the past, respect for the future and gratitude for the present.

Progressiveness is forfeited when yesterday is forgotten.

Tradition is failed when the future is ignored.

Existence is sacrificed when reality is shunned.

One cannot succeed without the other, and one cannot flourish without the origin.

As our children grow, we can grow, too.

As our children learn, we can learn, too.

As our children spread their wings to fly, we can soar alongside them

If we will only instill truths from the beginning and step aside for their liberation.

Train up a child in the way he should go,

And when he is old he will not depart from it.

Psalm 22:6

What A Death Can Bring

A death can bring so many lessons of life full circle.

It can remind you of a love that was never present and the broken heart with which you lived.

It can remind you of the laughter of fleeting moments you tried to grasp like grains of sand.

It can remind you of the shattered dreams you struggled to repair but never won.

A death can reach back to the recesses of your mind and coax the darkest memories to life.

It can replay the hours of abandonment and tears that fell like rain.

It can replay the joy of a child captured in fields of grace now covered with an early fog.

It can replay spouts of anger that burst forth like hidden minefields yet receded with the wind.

A death can teach so many miraculous things that only grief can ingrain.

It can instill confidence of who you once were and who you have become.

It can instill a wonder for your destiny and a yearning to travel a faster path.

It can instill a settling peace that confirms your life was meant to be.

A death can open the windows to the soul and draw the embers to build a flame.

A death can slam the door on the heart and smolder the very passion left to breathe.

The choice is yours to make in the midst of your sorrow, and only you can choose.

Penned – 11/8/22 – MG

And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes; there shall be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying. There shall be no more pain, for the former things have passed away.

Revelation 21:4

Those who sow in tears shall reap in joy.

He who continually goes forth weeping,

Bearing seed for sowing,

Shall doubtless come again with rejoicing,

Bringing his sheaves with him.

Psalm 126:5-6

Just Sit and Soak, Again

Sometimes, you’ve just got to sit and soak and let the weight of the world be washed away.

And sometimes, when you’ve already done this, you’ve got to do it again…

You alone are the Lord;

You have made heaven,

The heaven of heavens, with all their host,

The earth and everything on it,

The seas and all that is in them,

And You preserve them all.

The host of heaven worships You.

Nehemiah 9:6 nkjv

Just Let the Tide Roll In

There are moments in our lives when words won’t come and tears have flowed too much.

There are days when clouds cover like fog and sunshine has struck a famine.

There are seasons that seem never ending and years that seem to move forward like molasses.

It is in these junctures that we must find a mountain side, a lake’s edge, a sunrise crest.

We must seek out the shoreline and let the tide roll in.

For it is at the break of the horizon that your soul will find rest, your mind will discover clarity, and your breathing will once again stabilize.

It is here when you are reminded of peace and joy, strength and even faith.

For this is where you will find Hope.

So, just let the tide roll in.

Let it wash over you and let it purify.

Penned – 11/2/21 – MG

You rule the raging of the sea;

When its waves rise, You still them.

Psalm 89:9 nkjv

Just Sit and Soak

When life doesn’t make sense,

And the walls are caving in,

Find a place to just sit and soak for a minute.

When your heart is too heavy to carry the news,

And your eyes won’t stop overflowing,

Find a place to just sit and soak and breathe.

It may not change today, and tomorrow will still come barreling in,

But the warmth of the sun can bring life to the soul.

The roll of the tide can bring strength to the mind.

So, go on.

Go find that place.

Sit and soak for a moment.

Breathe it all in.

And learn to live again.

Penned – MG – 11/2/21

He calms the storm,

So that its waves are still.

Psalm 107:29

Contemplation

Somethings in life just don’t make sense.

You can look at it sideways, upside down, and with one eye half open, and it still won’t seem rational.

You can shake it, turn it, flip it, and it will be just as complicated.

You can kick it, throw it, even stomp upon it, and it will not be put on solid ground.

Somethings in life just won’t unravel, no matter how hard you try.

There should be a beginning and an end.

There should be a start, a go, a pause and a stop.

There should be a forward, a return, a left and a right.

Somethings in life just refuse to be easily understood.

If you keep beating against that wall, all you will receive is a busted head and five bloody knuckles.

If you keep walking down that street, all you will find is pain, suffering and utter chaos of soul.

If you keep turning over those rocks, all you will discover are the same nasty worms, devoured soil and littered weeds you found before.

Somethings in life will remain in darkness.

Somethings in life will rebel against any sanity.

Somethings in life will have to be contained in phantom answers if you are to crawl to rest.

So, let the tears roll down the shoreline, and let the shattered dream fade with the night.

For in the morning’s light, you can find hope.

As your heart is seeped in peace, and your mind is consumed by His grace.

Penned – MG – 10/29/21

For His anger is but for a moment, His favor is for life; Weeping may endure for a night, But joy comes in the morning.

Psalm 30:5 nkjv