perspective

Take The Good With The Bad…

/ The WheatandTares / Leave a comment

I went for a walk the other day, actually two days in a row, and I caught a glimpse of beautiful sunsets both nights. The pictures I was able to capture just really didn’t do great justice to the reality of the moments because they were truly breathtaking.

Yet literally 2 minutes before each of these sunsets, I ran into this. Both nights. Almost in the same place. Had I not been on high alert, watching each night, those moments could have ended so differently…

The first night, I looked down, saw that little guy almost under my foot. And I jumped over him like a gazelle! Talk about an adrenaline rush. I turned around just to make sure it wasn’t a stick I’d imagined. Nope. It was real. He looked at me with his menacing, beady little eye. I laughed at myself minutes later, thinking if anyone had seen me, they might have wondered if I just had a sudden hurdle-jumping-imagination. Haha. Surely, they couldn’t see what I saw right there on the pavement.

The second night, right about the same time, I was looking and searching, just to make sure there wasn’t another. Lo and behold, there he was again. Pretty sure it was the same little guy. I walked clear around him this time and circled back, thinking he must be dead and just simply stuck on the road. Nope. He turned his head to look my way. I skedaddled quickly out of range.

Got the pictures to prove it, though. And you better believe that third night, I went way on the other side of the road. Nope. I’m not gonna give him a chance at “three times a charm” to strike me! I actually don’t think he was still there, but nope. Not gonna take a chance!

However, here is my whole point in this story: I have a choice to dwell on the beauty of the sunset or the anxiety producing copperhead. I can think about the endless possibilities of running into that little game changer again, or I can reminisce about those golden pink streaked skies and search for another awestruck evening. It’s my choice.

And that’s exactly how life is. There’s always going to be good and bad. There always going to be days when everything seems to be beautiful, and we feel like we are “topping trees.” And then, there’s gonna be others when we’d like to be buried under those trees. Those marks on our calendar will appear when we wish they’d never have come to us and when we’d like to see them never come again.

And every single time, we will have a choice to decide what and where we will place our focus. We get to determine what stays in our realm of contemplations and what we toss out.

And what stays often establishes what we see tomorrow and the next day and the next.

See, even though that third day, I cautiously walked on the other side of the road, even though I might have fought a little internal flutter of trepidation, I was intentionally going to look for that setting sun to show out just a little brighter. And just as I got ready to go chasing that sunset, my eye caught movement up on the little incline. Right about the place that mean ol’ juvenile was the night before…

(A little out of focus, but a sweet memory still.)

Had I stayed away out of fear, walked by too quickly out of anxiety, or just simply looked away to avoid the horror, I would’ve missed this new little guy who came along to visit.

Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things arejust, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things. The things which you learned and received and heard and saw in me, these do, and the God of peace will be with you.

Philippians 4:8-9

You will keep him in perfect peace,
Whose mind is stayed on You,
Because he trusts in You.

Isaiah 26:3

Crying Over Spilt Milk (or coffee!)

/ The WheatandTares / 4 Comments

We were sitting at the local Italian restaurant with a group of young people. We’d come straight from church, still dressed in our “Sunday Best.” And I’d been bragging about this delicious dessert coffee they have, essentially made up of chocolate and strong coffee. (SO good!)

We’d ordered and asked for the server to put all five in to-go cups because we all had places to go, things to do, and that in and of itself was a wise decision, as it took such a long time for the coffees to arrive and the check to be tallied. So, our servers passed out the drinks, and I’m quick to insert my straw to assess if it had been made “just right.” After all, I’d told everyone how wonderfully delicious these beverages were, and I didn’t want to be wrong because maybe someone in the back failed to mix them correctly.

I grab my straw and pop it into the whipped-cream- created-domed plastic lid and picked up the cup to take a sip. It was like a volcano had erupted! It spewed all over my mouth, down my shirt (inside and out) and onto my freshly dry cleaned suit pants!! 😳😳🤦‍♀️ How seriously embarrassing! Especially for me, when I’d prefer to keep all spotlight shined in the opposite direction of my moment.

The girls, circling my center of the table seating arrangement, immediately were concerned for my welfare. “Are you ok?? … That didn’t burn you, did it? … Oh no, it got on your pretty suit!” All eyes were on me, and I surely would rather have simply crawled under the table. And then, as I was trying to reassure everyone I am alright and to hopefully encourage them to just ignore me and carry on with their conversations, one young lady sweetly said, “Well, at least it just looks like it blends into your shirt!”

Immediately recognizing the reality of her statement, alongside the camaraderie of understanding between us, we shared a burst of laughter together, and the embarrassing moment seemed to fade away into the next conversation at hand. This little lady, young enough to be my daughter, spoke something out of the authenticity and gentleness of her heart that brought such a calm to my frantic flutter of trying to clean up the mess…

As messy and chaotic as this moment is, at least it blends into your shirt (blue and brown tie-dye). As potentially ruining as that chocolate might be, at least it is camouflaged by the artist design of your shirt. As disastrous as this moment feels, both to your emotions and your outfit, there’s no need to worry about it. Just roll with the punches and fix it when you get home.

And it made me think, this is the same responses we get to choose in life. No matter if it’s chocolate coffee splattered all over my shirt and suit pants, or whether it’s a broken promise, shattered dreams, or a feared diagnosis, how we respond determines the next season of our life.

Choice is a beautiful thing, and we each get to choose how we will reciprocate those hard moments.

How do you respond when the milk gets spilled at breakfast? How do you speak when it not only begins to rain, but it pours a torrential downspout, and your umbrella has a hole in it? How do you look when someone blatantly cuts you to the core with betrayal? How do you show your hand when all the beauty of life seems to be swallowed up in a brush fire, and no one even appears to give a thought or a care?

I know. It’s just sticky, dark stained, chocolate coffee on my shirt. It’s just solidified sugar seeped into my pantsuit that may or may not come out with a little scrub. It’s just another high dollar dry cleaning bill that I don’t really want to spend this week. But is it only that?

Maybe we can step back and reassess for a moment…

Had I responded with shock and anger, how would that have made my dinner guests feel about the wonderful lunch we were having? Had I thrown my napkin down in a tantrum, cried out, or even lamented sorrowfully to the server that he had filled the cup so much?

After all, he’d ingeniously and unknowingly created a pressure cooker inside that 16oz styrofoam cup! What kind of impression would I have given, what kind of example would I have been placing in front of all those present?

Instead I chose to laugh. Instead I chose to try to mop up the liquid just as quickly and efficiently as I could. I tried to discreetly walk away to the restroom to assure I found all the spots and dabbed a little water droplets to help battle the stains. I returned to the table and carried on as if nothing had gone wrong.

And everyone texted later that they had a delightful time.

A merry heart does good, like medicine,
But a broken spirit dries the bones.

Proverbs 17:22

Grief’s Lament

/ The WheatandTares / 8 Comments

What do you do when facing grief?

Do you weep uncontrollably and inconsolably?

Do you grow angry and jealous of those who don’t seem to be affected?

Do you dive into the bottle, the drugs, the prescriptions, anything that will bring relief and simultaneously self destruction?

Do you recede into yourself daring anyone to knock on the wall you’ve built to shield?

Do you quietly reflect, never sharing an inner thought, always brooding, always bracing for the next?

Do you remove yourself from your present day and time and settle into memories of the past, sealing the vault to enter into more?

Maybe you do none of these.

Maybe you do all but at different times.

Recently, it seems I have walked beside so many experiencing this event that one day will, someway, somehow, affect all of us, and it caused me to stop and ponder for a moment.

What do you do when facing grief?

Truthfully, those of us with understanding, knowledge, and even experience with the “Five Stages of Grief,” we can give cliche answers and sound like the most brilliant human beings in the room. We can pontificate on the granduers of psychological pain, suffering, and sorrow. We can present thesis upon thesis on how one should react compared to the case studies of those who were deemed “grieving all wrong.”

But there is no formula to grief.

Oh, how I wish there were!

How I long for a formulaic answer to the mother, who asks, “Why did my son die?” How my heart aches for a well spoken response to the wife who says, “How will I ever live without him?” How my mind races for a piece of comfort to give when the father says, “I would’ve rather have taken her place.”

A studied and proven method would be so much easier to present in these moments of horror and torment. An eloquent quote, a ritualistic prayer, a methodical chant that could wash away the brokenness that remains, these would be like a healing balm both to their soul and mine. How soothing it would be to offer a word that could create the chasm as if there were no remnant of the devastation.

Yet, that is not how grief shows up nor how it makes its exit … if it actually has an exit.

No.

Grief is unexpected, unpredictable, and unwanted…and even truly, unexplainable.

The only thing that has been found a constant in the pain is that He is there. The only name that has stayed stable throughout is Jesus. The only One who has sustained all the shattered dreams and wrecked lives is the One who created our very soul.

And I can’t even tell you how He does it. But He does.

He is faithful and true. And He promises to abide. He promises to stay beside you in the midnight hours. He cannot lie. He is bound by His words of truth. And He will come and dwell. If you’ll but open the door of your heart.

And let Him in.

He is despised and rejected by men,
A Man of sorrows and acquainted with grief.
And we hid, as it were, our faces from Him;
He was despised, and we did not esteem Him.

Surely He has borne our griefs
And carried our sorrows;
Yet we esteemed Him stricken,
Smitten by God, and afflicted.

Isaiah 53:3-4

He who dwells in the secret place of the Most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty.

Psalm 91:1

Quiet Constancy

/ The WheatandTares / 2 Comments

You are a quiet constance in my life. 

Always there. Always filling space. 

Quiet, calm, and steady. 

Never imposing. Never crowding. 

Simply there awaiting my awareness. 

Awaiting my world to settle back to You again.

You are a peaceful Journey in my life. 

Always present. An always consuming pace. 

Tranquil, serene, and still. 

Never invading. Never intruding. 

Simply there awaiting my attention. 

Awaiting my mind to turn back to You again. 

You are a compelling Force in my life. 

All encompassing. All enveloping. 

Strong, encouraging, and favored. 

Always faithful. Always true. 

Simply there awaiting my realization. 

Awaiting my heart to yield to You again. 

You are a commanding Voice in my life. 

All protecting. All consuming. 

Fierce, advocating, and victorious. 

Always trustworthy. Always just. 

Simply there awaiting my revelation. 

Awaiting my soul to surrender to You again. 

5/2/26 – MG

Be still and know I am God.

Psalm 46:10

Your Silence Screams

/ The WheatandTares / 4 Comments

The little girl gets bullied.

You watch. You wait. Your turn away.

Your silence screams.

The young man fights to be seen.

You shield your eyes from sight.

Your silence screams.

The new mom struggles to care.

You glance away as she stumbles.

Your silence screams.

You claim you love.

You defend your stance and your stare.

Your silence screams beyond your words.

When will you see that words matter, but silence is an earthquake.

Can you see them?

Do you hear their cries?

Don’t let the moment pass for your comfort to remain.

Don’t turn a blind eye simply to avoid the attention.

The life is before you. The moment now.

Don’t let it fade believing you won’t give account.

For your silence will scream into eternity your blame.

MG 10/20/25

The Lion’s Silence

/ The WheatandTares / 2 Comments

In the brush, you can’t see her silhouette as she glides along.

Below the grass, she hovers and waits.

The stalks swaying in the breeze as she pauses to take in the horizon.

Her eyes never leaving her prey as she haunts him with her shadows.

Believing it is only a myth, he grows complacent in the quiet.

Letting down his guard, his head lowers for a rest, never realizing his mistake.

Suddenly, she pounces from the mist and charges his serenity.

He attempts an escape, but the moment has passed.

She has him in her paws, and the pride closes in to bring her added strength.

Fight though he may, the battle is over before it even began.

All because he grew comfortable in the midst of her silence.

Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour.

1 Peter 5:8

What Do You See?

/ The WheatandTares

There is a beautiful quote by Marcus Arelius that says, “To offend a strong man, tell him a lie. To offend a weak man, tell him the truth.”

So many people in this world are okay with less than truth. They can be inundated with lies and never be distracted. They can receive half truths and simply run with it and retell the story. And when truth actually confronts them, it is like a slap in the face, and they become offended.

As this becomes more and more prevalent in our modern society, you can watch a whole culture become divided and polarized, as fallacy makes a home like locusts and devours the innocent, while truth reigns in the hearts of a few, and a great chasm opens between them.

May we all examine our hearts today and determine which side of the canyon we belong.

For weak men will rise to power when weaker men rebel against truth and seek their own desires, demanding falsehood as the accepted edicts.

How you respond when you hear the truth exposes your strength of character. How you retell a lie displays to the world the depth of who you are. Even how you respond to this quote can determine your success or failure.

Strong men will be relegated to the haunted ghosts of yesterday as the masses embrace falsehoods as their standard.

But wisdom cries out to be heard. Truth never changes simply because someone silences it.

Rest assured, Truth will reign in the afterlife, and all will weep who did not heed the call.

Does not wisdom cry out,
And understanding lift up her voice?
She takes her stand on the top of the high hill, beside the way, where the paths meet.
She cries out by the gates, at the entry of the city, at the entrance of the doors:
“To you, O men, I call, and my voice is to the sons of men. O you simple ones, understand prudence, and you fools, be of an understanding heart.
Listen, for I will speak of excellent things,
And from the opening of my lips will come right things;
For my mouth will speak truth;
Wickedness is an abomination to my lips.
All the words of my mouth are with righteousness; nothing crooked or perverse is in them.
They are all plain to him who understands,
And right to those who find knowledge.

Proverbs 8:1-9

Friend or Foe

/ The WheatandTares

Sometimes, it’s just hard to deal with certain humans.

If we’re being honest, you know it’s true.

Yet, just as it’s important to walk away from toxicity and dangerous relationships, it’s also important to be able to discern those who might be in a bad mood and those who are truly damaging.

And this distinction can truly make or break a leader.

Come to the wrong conclusion, and you can damage a relationship, a ministry, a group of people, and even a home.

Assume a friend is a foe, and you lose a covenant and companion for life.

Suppose a foe is a friend, and you may walk away wounded and scarred, or worse, you can find yourself enclosed in a cage of emotion.

Presume inaccurately on either side, and you can wound the most innocent among you.

Judge incorrectly, and the grace needed to make amends can sometimes be insurmountable.

So, step carefully and evaluate slowly.

Learn to recognize warning signs and decipher welcome flags.

Acknowledge personal hangups and triggers and work harder to overcome.

Create an atmosphere of curiosity and courage and allow for input from the older, wiser sages near you.

Open your heart wide and your ears and eyes even wider.

And above all, if you believe in the One who created you, pray and ask Him to guide, not only in the final decision but to the people who can help lead you in that direction.

A friend can be hidden from immediate view because the search is always an adventure.

A foe can be veiled from initial sight because the desire for communion is always a heart’s home.

Friend or foe, learning the difference is essential.

Open rebuke is better
Than love carefully concealed.

Faithful are the wounds of a friend,
But the kisses of an enemy are deceitful.

Proverbs 27:5-6

Ointment and perfume delight the heart,
And the sweetness of a man’s friend gives delight by hearty counsel.

Proverbs 27:9

Carry the Buckets

/ The WheatandTares / 2 Comments

Be the one who carries the buckets of water toward the flames.

Be the one who carries the light to pave the path.

Be the one who carries the torch to brighten the tunnel.

Be the one who carries the blanket to shield the frozen.

Be the one who carries the keys to unlock the prison doors.

Be the one who carries the swords to join in the battle.

You can be a life changer or a death claimer.

It is your choice.

But first ask yourself which you’d want if the flames were on you.

This is My commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends.

John 15:12-13

Distance From Stupid

/ The WheatandTares

Distancing yourself from stupid people requires fortitude and repetition.

I’d have to say distancing yourself from dramatic people is even more essential

For often, stupidity and drama seem to go hand in hand, and these seem to multiply when you’re not looking.

But if you’ll take a moment to assess your surrounding and evaluate your relationships, stupidity and dramatic response can be weeded out and set apart.

You just must decide if you want peace or attention and popularity.

If peace is your goal, then the distance is an easier trek than if your desire is to people please.

If peace is your ambition, you will embrace it with vigor and pursue it with passion.

And where peace abides, stupidity and drama are closed out by the gates of solitude and tranquility, and shadowed by an overwhelming shield of calm.

So truly, the decision lies within your making.

What do you seek?

Peace or chaos.

It’s yours to choose.

You will keep him in perfect peace,
Whose mind is stayed on You,
Because he trusts in You.

Isiah 26:3