faith

Crying Over Spilt Milk (or coffee!)

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We were sitting at the local Italian restaurant with a group of young people. We’d come straight from church, still dressed in our “Sunday Best.” And I’d been bragging about this delicious dessert coffee they have, essentially made up of chocolate and strong coffee. (SO good!)

We’d ordered and asked for the server to put all five in to-go cups because we all had places to go, things to do, and that in and of itself was a wise decision, as it took such a long time for the coffees to arrive and the check to be tallied. So, our servers passed out the drinks, and I’m quick to insert my straw to assess if it had been made “just right.” After all, I’d told everyone how wonderfully delicious these beverages were, and I didn’t want to be wrong because maybe someone in the back failed to mix them correctly.

I grab my straw and pop it into the whipped-cream- created-domed plastic lid and picked up the cup to take a sip. It was like a volcano had erupted! It spewed all over my mouth, down my shirt (inside and out) and onto my freshly dry cleaned suit pants!! 😳😳🤦‍♀️ How seriously embarrassing! Especially for me, when I’d prefer to keep all spotlight shined in the opposite direction of my moment.

The girls, circling my center of the table seating arrangement, immediately were concerned for my welfare. “Are you ok?? … That didn’t burn you, did it? … Oh no, it got on your pretty suit!” All eyes were on me, and I surely would rather have simply crawled under the table. And then, as I was trying to reassure everyone I am alright and to hopefully encourage them to just ignore me and carry on with their conversations, one young lady sweetly said, “Well, at least it just looks like it blends into your shirt!”

Immediately recognizing the reality of her statement, alongside the camaraderie of understanding between us, we shared a burst of laughter together, and the embarrassing moment seemed to fade away into the next conversation at hand. This little lady, young enough to be my daughter, spoke something out of the authenticity and gentleness of her heart that brought such a calm to my frantic flutter of trying to clean up the mess…

As messy and chaotic as this moment is, at least it blends into your shirt (blue and brown tie-dye). As potentially ruining as that chocolate might be, at least it is camouflaged by the artist design of your shirt. As disastrous as this moment feels, both to your emotions and your outfit, there’s no need to worry about it. Just roll with the punches and fix it when you get home.

And it made me think, this is the same responses we get to choose in life. No matter if it’s chocolate coffee splattered all over my shirt and suit pants, or whether it’s a broken promise, shattered dreams, or a feared diagnosis, how we respond determines the next season of our life.

Choice is a beautiful thing, and we each get to choose how we will reciprocate those hard moments.

How do you respond when the milk gets spilled at breakfast? How do you speak when it not only begins to rain, but it pours a torrential downspout, and your umbrella has a hole in it? How do you look when someone blatantly cuts you to the core with betrayal? How do you show your hand when all the beauty of life seems to be swallowed up in a brush fire, and no one even appears to give a thought or a care?

I know. It’s just sticky, dark stained, chocolate coffee on my shirt. It’s just solidified sugar seeped into my pantsuit that may or may not come out with a little scrub. It’s just another high dollar dry cleaning bill that I don’t really want to spend this week. But is it only that?

Maybe we can step back and reassess for a moment…

Had I responded with shock and anger, how would that have made my dinner guests feel about the wonderful lunch we were having? Had I thrown my napkin down in a tantrum, cried out, or even lamented sorrowfully to the server that he had filled the cup so much?

After all, he’d ingeniously and unknowingly created a pressure cooker inside that 16oz styrofoam cup! What kind of impression would I have given, what kind of example would I have been placing in front of all those present?

Instead I chose to laugh. Instead I chose to try to mop up the liquid just as quickly and efficiently as I could. I tried to discreetly walk away to the restroom to assure I found all the spots and dabbed a little water droplets to help battle the stains. I returned to the table and carried on as if nothing had gone wrong.

And everyone texted later that they had a delightful time.

A merry heart does good, like medicine,
But a broken spirit dries the bones.

Proverbs 17:22

Grief’s Lament

/ The WheatandTares / 5 Comments

What do you do when facing grief?

Do you weep uncontrollably and inconsolably?

Do you grow angry and jealous of those who don’t seem to be affected?

Do you dive into the bottle, the drugs, the prescriptions, anything that will bring relief and simultaneously self destruction?

Do you recede into yourself daring anyone to knock on the wall you’ve built to shield?

Do you quietly reflect, never sharing an inner thought, always brooding, always bracing for the next?

Do you remove yourself from your present day and time and settle into memories of the past, sealing the vault to enter into more?

Maybe you do none of these.

Maybe you do all but at different times.

Recently, it seems I have walked beside so many experiencing this event that one day will, someway, somehow, affect all of us, and it caused me to stop and ponder for a moment.

What do you do when facing grief?

Truthfully, those of us with understanding, knowledge, and even experience with the “Five Stages of Grief,” we can give cliche answers and sound like the most brilliant human beings in the room. We can pontificate on the granduers of psychological pain, suffering, and sorrow. We can present thesis upon thesis on how one should react compared to the case studies of those who were deemed “grieving all wrong.”

But there is no formula to grief.

Oh, how I wish there were!

How I long for a formulaic answer to the mother, who asks, “Why did my son die?” How my heart aches for a well spoken response to the wife who says, “How will I ever live without him?” How my mind races for a piece of comfort to give when the father says, “I would’ve rather have taken her place.”

A studied and proven method would be so much easier to present in these moments of horror and torment. An eloquent quote, a ritualistic prayer, a methodical chant that could wash away the brokenness that remains, these would be like a healing balm both to their soul and mine. How soothing it would be to offer a word that could create the chasm as if there were no remnant of the devastation.

Yet, that is not how grief shows up nor how it makes its exit … if it actually has an exit.

No.

Grief is unexpected, unpredictable, and unwanted…and even truly, unexplainable.

The only thing that has been found a constant in the pain is that He is there. The only name that has stayed stable throughout is Jesus. The only One who has sustained all the shattered dreams and wrecked lives is the One who created our very soul.

And I can’t even tell you how He does it. But He does.

He is faithful and true. And He promises to abide. He promises to stay beside you in the midnight hours. He cannot lie. He is bound by His words of truth. And He will come and dwell. If you’ll but open the door of your heart.

And let Him in.

He is despised and rejected by men,
A Man of sorrows and acquainted with grief.
And we hid, as it were, our faces from Him;
He was despised, and we did not esteem Him.

Surely He has borne our griefs
And carried our sorrows;
Yet we esteemed Him stricken,
Smitten by God, and afflicted.

Isaiah 53:3-4

He who dwells in the secret place of the Most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty.

Psalm 91:1

Quiet Constancy

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You are a quiet constance in my life. 

Always there. Always filling space. 

Quiet, calm, and steady. 

Never imposing. Never crowding. 

Simply there awaiting my awareness. 

Awaiting my world to settle back to You again.

You are a peaceful Journey in my life. 

Always present. An always consuming pace. 

Tranquil, serene, and still. 

Never invading. Never intruding. 

Simply there awaiting my attention. 

Awaiting my mind to turn back to You again. 

You are a compelling Force in my life. 

All encompassing. All enveloping. 

Strong, encouraging, and favored. 

Always faithful. Always true. 

Simply there awaiting my realization. 

Awaiting my heart to yield to You again. 

You are a commanding Voice in my life. 

All protecting. All consuming. 

Fierce, advocating, and victorious. 

Always trustworthy. Always just. 

Simply there awaiting my revelation. 

Awaiting my soul to surrender to You again. 

5/2/26 – MG

Be still and know I am God.

Psalm 46:10

Funny Friday

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Merry Christmas to You

/ The WheatandTares

Merry Christmas to you!

We hope this concludes a beautiful year, too!

Enjoy your family, your friends, and your loved ones with cheer.

And even if you might find yourself today overflowing with tears,

Look back to see all the blessings, joy and some very good things

And look ahead to what our blessed hope now still brings

For the One who created you sent His very own Son

To show you His love and opened His arms into which you can run

He is here for you, and He will never leave

He is patiently awaiting you, To Him you can now cleave

So, in this day that is meant to be merry

Rejoice we have a Savior, and all our burdens He promises to carry.

And she will bring forth a Son, and you shall call His name Jesus, for He will save His people from their sins.” So all this was done that it might be fulfilled which was spoken by the Lord through the prophet, saying: “Behold, the virgin shall be with child, and bear a Son, and they shall call His name Immanuel,” which is translated, “God with us.”

Matthew 1:21-23

Merry Christmas Eve

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No matter where this finds you today.

No matter if you are feeling loved or just neatly put away.

No matter if you’re surrounded with cheer or with broken tears.

Remember, you are truly loved by the One who brought His Son to redeem all of your years.

Just believe.

Merry Christmas Eve

For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.

John 3:16

Silly Saturday

/ The WheatandTares / 4 Comments
For all those coping with kiddos at home on break…

Little Did I Know You

/ The WheatandTares

Little did I know you all of my life

The stories I was told don’t measure up

The man I once knew and who you were before

Full of life and love and joy and friendly fans

Full of anger and sorrow and shame and brokenness

The man I once knew and who you had become

The stories I was told are so much more

Little did I know you all of my life

War and betrayal can change a soul in ways that can’t be undone.

Yet, I am thankful to have seen a glimpse of what once was and one day, what will be forever more.

I have not stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers. I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the Spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the richesof his glorious inheritance in his holy people

Ephesians 1:16-18

Take a Moment to Remember…

/ The WheatandTares / 5 Comments

I haven’t posted yet about all of the events this week because it’s hard to find words. When evil is blatantly obvious, and so many can’t see it, it causes my heart to shift in an unusual way. A life is a life, and when this fact is nonchalantly cast aside, it not only leaves shock, confusion, and anger, but it also leaves a deep seated disgust that takes an extra minute to process through the pain and indignation.

So, I leave my thoughts here tonight not for debate but for reflection. If you disagree, you have the freedom to do so, and so do I with you. That is the beauty of living in the land of the free and the brave, and too many forget that this freedom is as much theirs as it is their neighbor’s…

24 years ago on this day, September 12,
I clearly remember a nation that was broken but united. A nation that was grieving but resilient. A nation that did not agree on politics but agreed on the right to freedom for our country. We agreed that liberty was valued and tyranny was condemned.

What has happened to us over the past 24 years?

Today, our nation is deeply divided, but not in ways it should be. Yes, we have disagreements, but disagreements can cause your beliefs to be proven stronger. Disagreements can challenge your standards to deepend or to be reevaluated for change. Disagreements, when discussed, debated, and deliberated upon, can define right from wrong and clearly refine convictions and values for life.

Yet, when we get to the place that disagreements must be silenced, there is a problem at the core of who we are. When debate is no longer simply words on a platform between two opposing teams, but rather it is replaced with bullets and blood, something is broken at the base of who we are. When a murder is justified or even given moral equivalency to another, our perspectives are somehow skewed. When a death is celebrated because the disagreement felt uncomfortable, convicting, or even appalling, the foundation upon which you stand is fatally flawed.

This is when evil begins to be called good and good called evil. And this is when a nation will be most vulnerable. Not because of her enemy abroad but rather because of her enemy within. This is when a nation is threatening to implode. We are at a dangerous place, on the edge of a knife. And we can do better. We must.

As Christians, which is what I am, we must awaken from our slumber and realize we can remain silent no longer. The days are long but the years are too short. The end draws near, and we will be held accountable. What we do in this hour must not be wasted or neglected. We must stand for what is right. We must speak out for what is Truth. And we must fight for what is good. It is time for us to be the Church He called us to be, to love God, to love our neighbor, and to reach the lost at any cost. And we cannot do that in silence, in fear, or even in intimidation. We must rise up and be the Body of Christ He has called us to be.

Love them enough to disagree with sin. Love them enough to fight against evil. Love them enough to speak out and take action against the rising tide of hatred and lawlessness. If it takes it, love them enough to die with Christ on the cross of His Truth.

Let’s pick up the baton that has been passed to us and finish this race. And let’s not finish alone. May we bring an entourage of new teammates with us! ❤️

If My people who are called by My name will humble themselves, and pray and seek My face, and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin and heal their land. 

2 Chronicles 7:14

May we never forget…

It’s Not Me. It’s You.

/ The WheatandTares

Oh, if we could grasp this reality, what strength we could gather.

When someone wounds you, it’s not because you have done something wrong. It is because they have something wrong inside.

This is not to say that you could have possibly prevented it. Maybe. sometimes, we don’t notice warning signs until it is too late. Sometimes, we turn a blind eye because of our own hangups and intimidations.

But when someone wrongs you, particularly when it is repetitive, we have to accept it for what it is: their fatal flaw.

We don’t always need to defend ourselves.

And we don’t really need to retaliate.

But we do always need to walk away.

Step back from their negative blows.

Move out of the course of their mayhem.

Set boundaries and close the doors to their reckless endangerment.

Realize it is not your responsibility nor your burden to bear.

Sometimes, broken people try to break others.

Sometimes, wounded people live to wound others.

Sometimes, twisted people endeavor to twist the lives of others.

But this never means you have to surrender to it.

Remove your heart from their hammer and reclaim your peace.

It’s worth the effort.

You are worth the time.

Do not enter the path of the wicked,
And do not walk in the way of evil.
Avoid it, do not travel on it;
Turn away from it and pass on.
For they do not sleep unless they have done evil; and their sleep is taken away unless they make someone fall. For they eat the bread of wickedness, and drink the wine of violence.

But the path of the just is like the shining sun, that shines ever brighter unto the perfect day. The way of the wicked is like darkness; they do not know what makes them stumble.

Proverbs 4:14-19