Sometimes, it’s just hard to deal with certain humans.

If we’re being honest, you know it’s true.

Yet, just as it’s important to walk away from toxicity and dangerous relationships, it’s also important to be able to discern those who might be in a bad mood and those who are truly damaging.

And this distinction can truly make or break a leader.

Come to the wrong conclusion, and you can damage a relationship, a ministry, a group of people, and even a home.

Assume a friend is a foe, and you lose a covenant and companion for life.

Suppose a foe is a friend, and you may walk away wounded and scarred, or worse, you can find yourself enclosed in a cage of emotion.

Presume inaccurately on either side, and you can wound the most innocent among you.

Judge incorrectly, and the grace needed to make amends can sometimes be insurmountable.

So, step carefully and evaluate slowly.

Learn to recognize warning signs and decipher welcome flags.

Acknowledge personal hangups and triggers and work harder to overcome.

Create an atmosphere of curiosity and courage and allow for input from the older, wiser sages near you.

Open your heart wide and your ears and eyes even wider.

And above all, if you believe in the One who created you, pray and ask Him to guide, not only in the final decision but to the people who can help lead you in that direction.

A friend can be hidden from immediate view because the search is always an adventure.

A foe can be veiled from initial sight because the desire for communion is always a heart’s home.

Friend or foe, learning the difference is essential.

Open rebuke is better
Than love carefully concealed.

Faithful are the wounds of a friend,
But the kisses of an enemy are deceitful.

Proverbs 27:5-6

Ointment and perfume delight the heart,
And the sweetness of a man’s friend gives delight by hearty counsel.

Proverbs 27:9