25 Ways to Say “I Love You” Without Saying a Word (Reblog)

January 12, 2015January 17, 2015 / The WheatandTares

This is so good. I had to reblog…

Kindness Blog

25 Ways to Say “I Love You” Without Saying a Word

by Winifred M. Reilly

Recently, on a cross-country flight, my husband and I were seated on opposite sides of the aisle. Several times, he leaned toward me to ask, “Would you like a bite of my sandwich?” “Can I get you some water?” Once he offered to share the last bite of his cookie. A while later, he reached over and put his hand my arm, just to say, “Hi.”

At the end of the flight the woman next to me said, “Your husband really loves you. I can tell.”

And she’s right. He does.

As couples, we express love through our everyday actions — our gestures of kindness, our generosity, our attention, our touch.

We say, “Drive safely.” “Take an umbrella.” We kiss each other goodnight.

And our spouse hears,”I love you,” in a way that touches more…

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Grade for Color

January 12, 2015January 11, 2015 / The WheatandTares / 1 Comment

Do you grade a Kindergartener on their ability to color within the lines? Do you grade a toddler on his ability to walk around with never falling? How about a young teen in her ability to drive a car through a busy street for the first time?

If you are a reasonable human being, the answer to these questions would definitely be, “NO!” If we, who are so imperfect, don’t expect perfection from our children, who are so young and just learning, why would we believe God would expect perfection from us??

Do you realize He is the Creator of the universe? He spoke, and there was light! He took the stars in His hands, as if they were tiny grains of sand, and flung them across the heavenlies. He tells this one to go, and he goes, and He tells this one to stay, and He stays. He is infinite. He is majestic. He is God, and He loves us.

We were created by an infinite Being. We are mortal. We are imperfect. We are flawed. We are human; yet, He loves us. He loves us with a love that our tiny minds can’t possibly understand. He loves us beyond measure. He loves us without condition. He loves us beyond what we can even fathom. If this kind of God can love us through our humanness, and we can love our children beyond their “child-ness,” how can we ever believe we must become more for Him to love us more?

Yet, we do. Too often, we place expectations upon ourselves to be more, to do more, to say more, thinking it will make Him love us more. When we falter and when we fail, we then walk around in constant condemnation, believing, somehow, that He now loves us less. His love is not like that. He sent His only Son to die for us while we were still sinners! He loves us more than we could ever imagine trying to love our own children! He loves us more than we love ourselves! His love is unconditional, immeasurable and infallible, and He offers it freely to us, without condition.

All we are required to do is receive it. All we have to do is believe. If you had a package on your doorstep that contained all the riches of the world, or all the desires of your heart, wouldn’t you run to find it? Wouldn’t you rush to open it? Yet, often, we hesitate with the very One who gave us this breath we breathe. We pause to accept the very Life He freely offers.

I encourage you today, don’t stop coloring your beautiful picture, this picture called life, in fear of the “teacher.” Don’t stop coloring in fear of failure. Color on, my friend, and remember, your Heavenly Father loves you. He doesn’t hate you. He’s not going to tear up your beautiful masterpiece, because you fall outside the lines a little. He’s not going to yell at you, because your bold marks reach the edge of the page. He will guide you to a better way. He will let you grow, and He will help you to learn His ways. He will convict your heart of the error, but He will not condemn you for your mistake. He will direct you to a better path, and His love will convince you of the needed change. His grace will draw you a new picture, and His mercy will help to fill in the gaps. When you truly see Him, you will never be the same.

“The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.” Lamentations 3:22-23

Have and Hold Forever

January 9, 2015January 11, 2015 / The WheatandTares / 4 Comments

I’m not sure a mother’s heart ever lets go of her child, neither through age nor death. That mother’s love is tangled up with that child from the moment she realizes she’s pregnant, or at least, very quickly thereafter, and it seems to remain a tangled mess for the rest of her life!

Now, I know, I speak as a mom who deeply loves and adores her children. Some moms are just too wounded to see past their pain, and others are so angry, they can’t see beyond the rage to the tender hearts within their grasp. Still others, they have become so narcissistic, they cannot see anything but their own ambitions and desires; so, please, know that my reference in this post has nothing to do with those types of mothers. Those moms need some desperate help before they destroy the precious seed which they have been given to nurture and provide sweet tender care for the next 18-20 years of their life. No, I’ll be referring to the moms out there, who, regardless of their human faults and failures, seek to do right by their child and work hard to imagine for, provide for and propel that child into greatness beyond what she, personally, might have been.

When you’re this kind of mother, you just want to hug them and hold them forever. You want to shelter that little heart from ever feeling any brokenness, pain and even disappointment. You want to protect that small mind from any wayward thought, evil deed or malice intent. You want to shield those tiny little eyes from all the sin, violence and everything not pleasant. You want to provide a refuge, a safe haven in which they can rest for the entirety of their life.

Yet, just as an eagle will cripple her eaglet if she refuses to start pulling the feathers from the nest, each of us will fatally cripple our children if we refuse to let them grow, learn, and yes, even experience pain and disappointment from time to time. We must allow them to spread their wings and learn to fly, or they will remain paralyzed in that nest for the rest of their lives, only to crawl to a miserable death, a death of dreams, opportunities, potential and life itself. We must allow them to fly!

Flight can be such a scary thing, especially when they are so young, so inexperienced, so fragile. Flight can challenge them to dream, to push beyond the limits, to test their own abilities. Have you ever watched a baby barnacle goose learn to fly? If not, you should look it up sometime (you can click hereto watch). …well, maybe, if you have the heart for it. I almost didn’t.
[*please note: this is a very intense, heart-wrenching, yet, very real, short film.]

The first time I saw this video, I almost busted into tears! The tiny, downy-feathered gosling was far up in the nest, high above the rocky cliffs below. It was several hundred feet up, I’m sure. He climbs out of the nest and begins to fall. I almost stuck my hands out, trying to catch him, before I remembered it was simply a video, and there was nothing I could do. The baby keeps falling and falling, crying out the whole time; then, he “bumps” the rocks on his way down. Then he bumps it again and again. Then he smacks the rocks at the very bottom. I was sure the little precious thing was dead! After he laid there a few seconds, I felt certain he was a goner.

Tears rolled down my cheeks as, I truly believed, I had just witnessed the death of this barnacle gosling. I began to wonder what idiot had made this video with no prior warning for viewers like me! To my surprise and relief, the parents waddled over to where the baby was and waited patiently as the little guy slowly lifted his head and waddled up to them for comfort and moral support. I could not believe he had made it!

Has parenting ever felt like this? If you haven’t experienced this type of worry, frustration and fear, just hold on, and keep on living. The time may come when your little one jumps out of that nest and “plummets” to the bottom of the ravine! You may have to watch them as they “free fall” through their temptations and vices, seeming to race to certain death. If you will cover them in sincere prayer, now and throughout it all, God will hear your cry. If you will train them up now in the faith of God, they will make it!

Depending on their personal venture, their own response to it, and their surrender to God throughout it, they may come through with a few bumps, bruises and , yes, maybe even scars, but they will survive. If they don’t have the grace of God to cushion their fall, the sharp and jagged rock of life will surely damage them beyond repair. Yet, if they have the Word of truth, the sword of the Spirit, and the shield of faith, they can face whatever may come, and God will protect them. He is the best covering they can have!

As a protective mother, I’d prefer they never had to make that leap. As loving moms, we’d prefer that child to just stay safe and secure within our grasps so that no harm or danger ever come near them. Yet, we know if we continue to shelter them through the hardships of life, it doesn’t make them stronger. It only weakens them for the journey that, one day, they will be traveling apart from us.

They need the challenge. They need the flight training, and they need the faith to soar. It is our job to instill within them the knowledge and understanding of that faith. It is our responsibility to help them see the great big world before them and know the pitfalls that will try to trap them. It is our commission to pray endlessly for their journey and for their flight. It is our right to shelter, protect, love and support them until the time comes that they must fly, but fly they must. If they don’t, they will die. Their dreams will die, and their destiny will be lost.

So, go ahead, momma. Hold that baby tight. Strengthen his wings and help him to stand. Deepen her faith and teach her to flap those wings, preparing for flight. When the time is right, they will soar to new heights. They will fly to distant lands, and they will take a part of you with them as you stand there holding a piece of their heart within your hands.

Rock It

January 8, 2015February 2, 2015 / The WheatandTares

Working on this – daily! 🙂

Think Positive, Be Positive

Own it!

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Mom Cheer

January 8, 2015April 19, 2015 / The WheatandTares / 1 Comment

One day, I was thinking about motherhood and all it entails. I was thinking about how so many moms may not have someone who encourages them in the journey of raising their children. So many go at this thing alone, wondering if they are doing it right, wondering if they can make it through the trials, through the joys and through the changes. Then, I thought, if I could speak to the moms of the world, this is what I’d say…

5 Jeremiah 1:5, says,
“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you; Before you were born I sanctified you; I ordained you a prophet to the nations.”

You can do this, mom. Have faith. Stand for your children. Don’t lose hope when it gets hard, when the way is weary, and you have doubts and fears that overwhelm. Trust in God. Get help from those around you. Look deep into your heart, and discard selfish desires. Seek Godly leadership and wisdom to help you along the way. You can do this.
The child invested to each of us is a precious gift. They are given to us from God, and they are really just on loan, just for a little while, a very short season. It is our responsibility. It is our right. It is our privilege to raise them, to love them, and to encourage them to reach all their goals, all their dreams, all their ambitions.

The standard we set for them, many times, they will fall below, or at least they will struggle to meet. They are young. They are growing; so, set your values high. Don’t expect them to fail; push them to succeed. Don’t expect them to falter; let your perspective be positive. Let your words be uplifting and true. They need you.

Encourage big dreams, because if they’re always reaching for the moon, even if they fall, at least they will land somewhere among the stars. If we fail to encourage them to reach for the moon, and we only expect them to live grounded where they are, they may never move beyond the spot they are right now. Why would we want to cripple them for their destiny?
So, begin to dream for them; begin to set your own sights on higher things. When they see you dream, they will follow. Set your thoughts on better places when the way grows weary, and they will begin to see a brighter future. Place a smile on your face and a steel rod in your spine when you feel you cannot stand. God will help you, and, “If God be for us, who can stand against us?” (Romans 8:31)

You can do this. You were called for this. Approach the task with joy. Seek the right path with passion and delight. They are in your care for just a little while, and they will fly to another land.

Let them dream. Let them soar. When they stumble, show them, by your own life, how to get back up, how to stand, how to run again. It’s a great big world out there, and they need your help. They need your guidance. Don’t look away.

Don’t be neglecting your post because it’s difficult, you feel inadequate, or you are distracted.

Embrace them. Shield them. Guide them. Teach them to fly. Go ahead, mom. It may be a scary road at times, but they were made for this. YOU were made for this! You CAN do this! Have faith. Have courage, and never, ever give up!! 🙂

Men of Honor

January 7, 2015January 6, 2015 / The WheatandTares / 1 Comment

They fought the battles we’ve never fought.

They gave us a freedom that we never bought.

These men walked paths of hardship,

A hardship that we believe our shoes cannot fit.

They said, “These things that we hold true…”

For our happiness, their humble lives were slew.

As we walk through this life, we take much for granted,

These forefathers were beaten, bruised and branded.

Let us remember their stories with honor and praise.

Let us put them in a place of value, all of our days.

We have houses, schools, businesses and lands,

Because they gave up theirs to place it in our hands.

They have handed us a baton to carry on,

The legacy of their lives and what we can become,

We have a great trust passed down unto us.

Will we take it up, or will we fall in our own lust?

It must be our goal; it must be our call.

We must live by this purpose before we all fall.

Their sacrifices, our heritage; let us never forget.

These great men of honor; these that we’ve never met.

Penned – MG – 7/6/03

A Child’s Perspective

January 5, 2015January 2, 2015 / The WheatandTares / 4 Comments

I love to see pictures that a child has taken, especially a younger child, like maybe between the ages of four and ten years old. Have you ever taken a moment to look? My son took this picture the other day, and I thought it turned out incredible. The cabin is totally focused; yet, all of the surroundings are completely blurred.

This picture created a thought within me… “What if we approached our lives like this?” Living life with one focus and one focus alone. Carrying on through our daily routines with one main goal, one desired end. Living a life in which the central goal is in complete focus while the surroundings are just sort of out of focus. Having that main focus being Jesus at the center of our life.

Too often, we go through life with so many goals, so many desires, so many ambitions that, too often, it seems the central focus gets blurred, and we get tuned into one thing and then another. We move from one agenda to another, many times, forsaking the real purpose we are even here on this planet. When we have too many agendas, too many goals, too many desires to be met, we become scattered, distracted, even chaotic in our witness and our testimony.

When we keep “the main thing the main thing,” HE is able to bring all the other things into the right focus. HE is able to show us the things which are needed and those things which are not. He is enabled to be the Lord of our lives, and the world turns to gray as it loses its hold on us.

In this new year, let us remember Who that central focus should be. Let us remember Who the one goal of our lives should be. Let us start this new year with one main thing, one goal, one central focus, JESUS, who will take us to higher heights, deeper depths and wider opportunities than we ever thought possible!

“Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead…” Philippians 3:13

It’s a New Tradition

January 3, 2015November 22, 2018 / The WheatandTares / 4 Comments

To be honest, I have always been kind of against going out to eat on Christmas and Thanksgiving Day. I was always of the opinion you should be at home for those meals, carrying on the traditions of family. You see, I grew up with the traditions of home, family, and living out the legacy of that family. When I was young, we would have great big gatherings at my grandparents’ home; all of the family would be there! It was kind of like a homecoming. See, I have always been an only child, but my three cousins, and my grandmother’s three sisters and husbands, with all their children, would come; so, we would end up with a house full! No one would want to miss. Those were some great times. I never felt alone or left out, and it was, as if, we were just one great big, happy family!

As I’ve grown older, things have changed, and our family has grown distant over miles and time. I, now, live in a different state, as several others do, and there have been those, within our family, who have experienced divorce and death. These things change people; they change the dynamics of a close-knit family, and our family has somewhat drifted.

However, late in 2012, my husband and I were down for a holiday, and we decided to try to get everyone together at “the old homestead” where my grandmother still lives. We had a “dessert” get together, because many had things to do, and there were lots of children involved. So, we gathered for desserts, coffee and fellowship. It was so fun! Granted, it wasn’t the same as years gone by, and not everyone who used to come was there, but those who could, came, and old friendships were rekindled, new ones were made, and our children got to experience the togetherness from which each of us were raised. My husband and I decided, from now on, whenever we were back “home,” we’d make a point to do this again. It was a great “new tradition” that was made.

This Christmas, my husband, boys and I were with my parents and grandmother for a few days in TN, and we decided to try another “new tradition.” We went out to a restaurant for our Christmas Day meal. It was different, and it was wonderful!! You see, the last several years, we have tried to pull together a huge traditional meal at my mother’s house, and, for various reasons that I won’t go into, it has always been a struggle. We have each ended up frustrated and ill at one another, and it has never really seemed to have work out as each of us had hoped it would. Last year, my grandmother said, “I’m not doing this (the meal) again!” So, this Christmas, I remembered that statement, and we worked to change the norm. We found a really nice, upscale restaurant in town that would be open on Christmas Day. We were seated by the beautiful stone fireplace, and we could see the city streets as shoppers passed by on their merry way. We had steaks, baked potatoes, prime rib and shrimp. Everything was wonderful! The fellowship with one another was the best it’s been in years, and we didn’t have to clean up afterwards, either! …That was simply awesome! 😉

Later, when we got back to the house to enjoy homemade desserts and open presents together, my eighty-five year old grandmother called us all together for an “executive meeting.” We were each nervous at first, because she doesn’t normally do that, and we thought we might be in trouble! (Haha!) She said, “I want us all to decide, right now, that from now on, when we come together for a holiday, we go out to eat! …even after I’m gone, you do this!!” We all laughed, mostly from the relief of not being in trouble, and we all said, “I second…yes, Ma’am!” The rest of the day was simply wonderful as we spent time sharing together and watching as the children tore into their gifts. It was a great Christmas Day!

I wrote this to share with you how traditions can be made in all kinds of ways. Your family is going to be different than mine, and our traditions may be totally opposites, but as long as they work for you and your family, that is what really matters. As long as your traditions bring your families together and draws out the love and comraderie among you, that’s what’s important!

So, make a new tradition this year or simply keep an old one! Just be together at those important times, and make those memories that will last for all times. We are never guaranteed tomorrow. We don’t know who will be at the next family celebration, and who might have said goodbye by then; so, make the moments count. Cherish one another, and if an old tradition just doesn’t seem to work now for the family as a whole, think about trying a new one. Keeping traditions, only for the sake of the tradition, especially, when it is only tearing your family apart, is not really worth it. Traditions are made to make people stronger, to take relationships deeper and to bring wisdom, character and love into the family. When a tradition only brings strife, chaos and division, it’s either time for some heart changes, or its time for a new tradition! I’m so glad we made ours! 🙂

It’s Merry Christmas!

December 29, 2014December 29, 2014 / The WheatandTares / 1 Comment

*sorry, friends, for being absent during the Christmas week. I was spending time with out of town family, and just didn’t find the time to get online. I’ve been blogging during the time; so, you may get a little overflow the next few days! 😉

Written 2 days before Christmas…

Okay, so, I’m gonna rant for just a moment. If you’d prefer to not read, I completely understand, but if you’ll indulge me, it won’t take but a minute…

IT IS MERRY CHRISTMAS!! It’s not just another holiday. It’s not just Happy Holidays (even though it IS very happy), and I am totally over this politically correct statement. This remark was begun by those who hated Christmas being celebrated by Christians and their desire to push a political agenda to avoid Christianity and anything that might remotely infers it. I don’t see these groups, those who make a big fuss about nativity scenes, Christmas carols and saying “Merry Christmas,” making a big fuss over someone saying Happy Hanukkah or Happy Ramandah. (Only stating two for sale of space and time, no other reason!) They don’t attack the display of candlesticks nor the fasting of certain foods by other religions; yet, most of these who attack state they are trying to achieve “a freedom from religion.” Well, if you were truly trying to achieve this, wouldn’t you attack more religions than simply Christianity? I’d like to say to them, “Either be fair in your assessments, or leave me alone! I don’t care if others want to celebrate their given religious feasts, celebrations and special days; so, why single mine out and attack them alone? I’m not going to be angry with you if you’d like to tell me “Happy Hannukkah, Ramandah” or whatever else “Happy/Merry” you’d like to give! So, why do they have to seem so vindictive toward my chosen celebration?

Yet, then again, I have come to the realization that absolute truth has always been attacked, and my Savior has always been hated by those who disagree with Him. Those who disliked Him when He was here on earth eventually killed Him because of their disdain toward Him. This hatred toward Christianity is nothing new; so, it really ought not surprise me when people are forced on their jobs to tell me, “Happy Holidays.” It should not frustrate me that so many have stopped telling me, “Merry Christmas,” when I leave their stores. I suppose, I should actually smile, even laugh, knowing this agenda is being pushed down our throats and throughout our world today, because the devil hates God, and he always will, because he has already lost! His fury will not last, and the end of the story has already been told: Jesus wins. (Just read the back of the Book!)

So, I will just continue to respond with a smile and say cheerfully, “Merry Christmas!” I will keep my Christmas joyful, regardless of the war being raged upon my religion. I will embrace those around me with the love that He has birthed within my heart, and I will repeat to all those who will hear, MERRY CHRISTMAS to all for Unto us is born a Savior, and His name is called Emmanuel, which means God with us! (Isaiah 9:6-7)

Purpose in the Mundane

December 22, 2014December 29, 2014 / The WheatandTares / 1 Comment

The other day, I was sweeping the hardwoods…I hate to sweep, but it’s something that must be done, or crumbs and filth will build up, and then we’ll have nastiness, filth, and even bugs. I hate bugs in the house. I hate bugs in the house more than I hate sweeping! …So, I was sweeping and thinking of all the stuff I needed to do around the house. The end tables needed dusting, the carpet needed vacuuming, the blinds needed wiping, the sheets needed washing and changing, etc.

All of sudden, JMan said, “Mom, come here quick!” I walked into the office, a little begrudgingly, because I had so much to do, and he was simply calling me over to the computer. He said, “Look at the house I’ve built!” Then, he proceeded to show me the house, with all its rooms, and a “treasure chest” in one of them. He said, “Mom, look what this is,” and he proceeded to show me a “Bible” that he had created himself, complete with the whole chapter of Matthew 4, or least most of it, all of which he had typed from memory.

I stood amazed as he showed me his masterpiece, and it was as if I had an epiphany that very moment: We, as adults, should be more like our children who have a heart after God. If my nine year old son can create a place for the Almighty right there within the walls of the house he created in his computerized building game, why can I not create a place for Him right there in the middle of my mundane routine of cleaning house? That’s what I should do, and I am well aware of this fact; yet, too often, I find myself heavily burdened by the cares of this world and over-consumed by all the “thankless jobs” and mundane rituals which fill my everyday that I tend to often forget for Whom I’m doing this!

Oh sure, I remember when I’m doing my morning devotions and when I’m tucking my sweet boys in for the night. I remember when I’m using an object lesson to teach those same young men this very principle. I remember when everything is going my way, and the sun is shining bright in the sky, but, oh, how quickly I forget when our boys don’t want to follow the rules, when my husband and I can’t seem to see eye to eye, and the clock just seems to be running faster than before. How quickly my memory fades when the sun won’t shine, the rain won’t stop, and it seems my prayers won’t reach beyond the brass ceiling above my head.

Those are the moments when I tend to forget to grasp that beautiful wonder of a child. Those are the moments the simple and, often, the most important things, seem to fade to gray as the expectations and demands of this life scream ever louder in a war for my complete attention. Those are the moments when I desperately need to remember this sweet moment of truth: God is wherever we are, and He just wants to be a part of whatever we are doing, even if it is simply creating a “Bible,” complete with Matthew 4, inside a treasure chest, within a beautiful “block” house being created by a 9 yr old, and even if it is simply sweeping the hardwood floors and keeping a clean house for my husband and boys to enjoy…and eventually mess up again! (Ha! Ha!)

Lord, help me to find You in everything I put my hands to do. Help me to see You in the simplest of things. Help me to find Your purpose for me even in the mundane.

“Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men.” Colossians 3:23

“Do everything in love.” 1 Corinthians 16:14