Bigger Than Life

October 6, 2014October 6, 2016 / The WheatandTares

I experienced one of the greatest losses of my life 12 years ago today. You see, my grandfather was bigger than life. When he walked in a room, he owned that room. He had the personality of a John Wayne, never meeting a stranger and never afraid to “get up on that horse,” no matter how many fears he had inside. In fact, as a child, I was convinced he couldn’t possibly have any fears!

He was born in a small, no name kind of town, a son born into poverty and of low education. When he was 15, he was told by a banker he was worthless and didn’t deserve the money he was seeking. He told the man that one day he would prove him wrong, and he did just that. He began his own HVAC company, became a county commissioner, retired from his business when I was just a little girl, and went back to buy out that banker, only to find the man had already lost his place. He believed in hard work and the common decency among men. He could spin the biggest tale, keeping you entertained for hours; yet, when it came to business, he believed in integrity, fairness and an honest wage for honest work.

He stood at six feet four inches tall, wore Stetson hats and alligator boots (or the nicest, toughest boots found in the store that day), and he struck up conversation with every person he encountered on the park bench while waiting for his wife to finish shopping. He could wrestle and kill a six-foot rattler, and he’d do the same to a six-foot man if he threatened a child (which actually happened once!). He loved his wife, his two girls, and his four grands (and their spouses), even if his gruffness hid that love most of the time. He believed in taking care of what you have and working hard for what you want. One of his famous lines was, “Take care of your equipment, and your equipment will take care of you!”

He was like a Daddy to me. My mom was single for most of my childhood, and he just kind of filled in that gap. He made sure I was clothed, fed and had just about all I wanted or needed in life. He’d pick me up after school in his old Ford Ranchero, and we’d stop by the Stuckeys gas station to get some candy…that was back when you could get a piece of candy for a dime and a coke for fifty cents; so, I always loaded up with the $3-5 he gave me!
He taught me how to fish and how to clean them; although, he always handled the knives. He bought me my first car, and even though, he had the money to pay cash for it, he set me up with monthly payments; so, I could learn how to pay bills and manage a checkbook properly. He always had a bear hug waiting and would never let me leave without a little cash in my pocket. He loved me something fierce, and I loved him right back the same.

When he left this world, he took some of its color with him, and my life has never been the same. He sure wasn’t perfect, but he brought a little perfection into my world. They say, “Time heals all pain,” but I have to disagree. Time doesn’t really heal grief, only Jesus can do that. Time just simply helps you learn how to tolerate the pain and be able to “categorize it” within your own heart. It helps you to see more clearly, and if you choose it to, time allows you to help someone else along the same journey.

I’ll miss him until the day I die, and I’ll keep his memories alive for my children to remember what a great legacy we have.

Goodbye, Pa”T”

October 6, 2014October 6, 2014 / The WheatandTares / 2 Comments

~ Saying goodbye to my grandfather … He was like a father to me … I miss him still. ~

So many memories fill my mind.

So many days, so many years, my tears make me blind.

Oh, Pa”T”, how I will miss you.

My heart is now breaking in two.

So many future things make me wonder and dream.

So many joys, so many sorrows, you are with still, it seems.

Oh, Pa”T”, how I will look forward to the other side.

My heart rejoices and, in Christ, it abides.

It’s as if I can see you at those pearly gates.

For all your loved ones and friends, you eagerly await.

I can see you waving and shining a grin.

I can see your new body is not at all like it’s been.

Oh, I cannot wait to see your lovely face.

Oh, what strong arms you’ll once again have to embrace.

We’ll dance and we’ll sing for many days on end.

No more counted days to us will be lent.

So many memories fill my weary soul.

So many days, so many years, the tears, they overflow.

Oh, Pa”T”, how we will miss you.

But now, you are made brand new.

So many future scenes make me smile and sigh.

So many joys, so many sorrows, you’re only a temporary goodbye.

Oh, Pa”T”, how I eagerly search for heaven now.

My heart leaps for the time when together before our King we shall bow.

Penned – MG – 10/6/02 … the day we said Goodbye …

I Love You, Pa”T”

October 6, 2014October 6, 2014 / The WheatandTares

~ A tribute to my grandfather who passed away 10/6/02. He was like a Daddy to me. ~

You have been my one and only Pa”T”

You were also my first and oldest Daddy

You’ve given me much sound advice

And lots of instructions that were very precise.

When it was just my mother and me,

You watched out for us and helped to see

That I was taken the best care of

And always given an abundance of love.

Your support and encouragement

Has forever to me been sent.

Your concern and adoration,

You’ve never given in moderation.

I remember all those very special times

To the candy store we’d go, spending every dime,

To school you’d drive me in that old Ford Ranchero.

That ride will be more cherished than any ol’ Camaro.

I want to say Thank You from the bottom of my heart.

But there aren’t enough words. I cannot even start.

If only I could tell you that is all I want to do.

Since, I cannot say it all, I’ll just simply say, “I love you.”

Penned – MG – 9/18/02

Do Not Weep For Me

October 5, 2014 / The WheatandTares

Death engulfs me in its grasp

Darkness is surrounding me

I hear wailing and mourning

But the faces I cannot see.

You weep for me to return

But do you know where I am going?

I am to travel the streets of gold

I am to see His Heavenly Throne

I am sorry for your loss and sorrow

You will miss me while I am gone

But you don’t have to be without hope

You don’t have to be lost and undone

You can join me here when life is through

You can walk in this Paradise Land

You can have eternal life and happiness

If you will just ask Jesus to take your hand

Penned – MG – 2/27/01

Please Tell Me

October 5, 2014October 5, 2014 / The WheatandTares

Now I am so very confused. I feel like I have been abused.

Are you being honest with me, or are you only wanting the key?

I can’t tell what you want anymore, but as you see, it’s my heart that you tore.

Why do you do this? Will you really be there? Do you truly love me, or don’t you even care?

I am the one you’ve used so much with all your charm and gentle touch.

Is it true love that you claim, or have you just been playing a game?

I wish you would be honest. I wish I could tell. How can I know when you always hide behind that veil?

Are you being truthful, or is it a lie? If that’s all it is; then, I’ll be saying goodbye.

In my heart, you will always live, but I have so much more love to give.

So, if you’re leaving, please quickly do say; I don’t want to go on hurting this way.

There is just one more thing I want to say to you, but it scares me, are you feeling this way, too?

I wanted to express how deep my love is for you. I just wanted to tell you before we were through.

Penned – MG – 4/16/89

Passing Time

October 4, 2014October 11, 2014 / The WheatandTares

Time brings about so many changes.

Some good, some bad, some exciting, some sad.

There are times when I wish I was a child again.

No worries, no responsibilities, no cares.

There are times when I wish I was all grown-up;

Then others would treat me like a lady not a child.

Time is like sand slipping through our fingers.

If we don’t wake up and enjoy the moment,

It will be lost from us forever.

So, take this moment, do not let it disappear from you.

Enjoy the time you have.

Enjoy the ones you love

For they may not be here tomorrow.

Penned – MG – 5/1/91

Goodbye

October 4, 2014 / The WheatandTares

A chapter in our lives is coming to a close.

A chapter which some of us thought would never end.

Now, we will go our separate ways.

Some never to look back upon this day.

The time has come to say goodbye.

Take care and never lose hope.

For if hope is gone, there is nothing.

And if there is nothing, we are not beings.

Never say goodbye, only farewell.

For if you say goodbye, I may not see you.

But if you say farewell, there’s always a way

That we may meet again on another day.

Never say good riddens, only good blessings.

For if you say good riddens, I may not succeed.

But if you say good blessings, there’s always a chance

That I will remember you when I go to dance.

Penned – MG – 5/91

You Walked Away

October 3, 2014 / The WheatandTares

You were in the dark;

I couldn’t see you there.

Then you came to the surface,

And it was more than I could bare.

You were by me from the start;

You always held out for my hand.

I could tell you almost anything;

You always were there to help me stand.

Then it all fell apart;

I couldn’t be anymore with you.

So you walked away from me,

And my heart was broken in two.

You chose someone else;

I thought with me you’d always be.

Now I must travel this road alone;

Ahead of me the future I cannot see.

Penned – MG – 2/16/89…revised 11/15/02

Childlike Distractions

October 2, 2014 / The WheatandTares

Grace* was at the beach with her mother, sitting in the sand, watching the ocean. Recently, her church had sung a very popular song titled, “Oceans,”** and as she was sitting there, she began to sing…..it was so beautiful. Her little 5 year old voice rose with the tide as she lifted her praise to her God.
“You call me out upon the waters
The great unknown where feet may fail…And I will call upon Your name
And keep my eyes above the waves
When oceans rise…My soul will rest in Your embrace. For I am Yours and You are mine… And my faith will be made stronger…In the presence of my Savior…”**
Her mother sang along with her, lost in this incredible moment of surrender to Her King. They gazed over the waves, feeling the cool breeze as the water washed over their feet and legs.
It was a moment she would forever cherish in her heart.
Then, all of a sudden, in mid-verse, Grace* stopped, and said, “Okay, there is a lot of sand in my bathing suit. I’m going to go get in the water and rinse off now.” Her mother looked at her in shock at the sudden change, and simply said, “Okay ,” and off Grace* went to be a child playing in the waves.
As the mother told me this little story, I was struck at how similar our lives are with God. We can sit down to enjoy a “precious moment” with Him, and we can become so enraptured in His sweet presence when we just let everything else go. We can sing, pray, or even dance, without a single worry or concern. Then, all of a sudden, the waves of alarm hit us, or the tide of time comes in, and we jump up, telling Him, “Well, I’ve got to go now. There’s so many agendas and cares to which I must tend.” Not much unlike this little girl, we, as adults, too often leave Him behind, and go about our business, as if that moment with Him was great, but we leave Him there on the shore as the cares of this world cloud our vision of Him and the moments we spent with Him.
It would be so much better for us if we could learn that He longs for us to remain in His presence throughout our whole day! He does want to hear us say, “Good Morning!” and listen to our bedtime prayers; however, He longs to walk beside us and let us tell Him about every moment of every hour of our day, too. Some might say, “I just don’t have time to stop and pray all day long,” and to those I would challenge with a question, “Why not?”
So many have a misconception that our relationship with God has to be filled with a bunch of “Thees” and “Thous,” and our prayer hours must be enclosed with angels singing and some priest chanting scriptures. Who ever convinced us of that has deceived our wayward hearts! Sure, we should have moments when there is no one else around and we “get alone until we’re not alone anymore,” but Jesus spent time with His disciples off the mountaintop, too. He walked with them; He ate with them. He traveled from town to town with them. He just “hung out” with them. If He did all that with them, while here on this earth, don’t you know He longs to do the same with us while He’s away?
Our Heavenly Father longs to have a relationship with us – a living, breathing, real relationship, one that includes life-altering “holy” moments as well as those simple, seemingly obscure, chats about our day.
So, I challenge you to examine your heart and ask yourself how well you know this Savior, this man who died that you might live. Ask yourself if you have a real relationship with Him or one that may be filled with too many childlike distractions…

*Names have been changed to protect the innocent.

**Credit: “Oceans” by Hillsong United. Album: Zion, 2013
I do not own, nor do I claim to own, any rights to this song, including music, lyrics, or any other contents of this song.