Bluesy Christmas

By the time you read this, the big day will be over, and will have moved on. We will be readying for the next as they new year is barreling toward us.

But I’m gonna post it just the same. I didn’t want to share during the festive season. I didn’t want to bring any gloom or despair. Yet, maybe some one needs to hear we all can have a bluesy Christmas sometimes…

Today was Christmas Eve Eve, meaning the day before Christmas Eve, and I’ve honestly struggled throughout the day to be cheerful. If I’m being honest, the struggle hasn’t been just today, but it seemed to be most prevalent through these past few hours.

We had our family gathering, and so many had returned. It was so great to see, and really fun to watch the littles jump and squeal with delights of grandeur and thrill.

Yet, I felt so out of sorts.

I didn’t mope. I didn’t whine, shed tears, or even frown. My sole remained solid. We chatted, laughed, and engaged.

No one knew. Not one even guessed. But the heaviness over my heart was so hard to turn around.

And I’m searching deep to find the reason why.

Nobody died. The bills aren’t overwhelming, and the kids aren’t sick. Our family is doing fine, and our marriage is at its all time best…even the in-laws are amazing and sublime.

Yeah. Don’t squint your eyes at me. It really is the truth!

So, why am I so down? What’s making my heart blue? I’m reaching down in the depths and crying out for the Father to reveal what’s true.

It’s like walking through a mountain park on a crisp, cool, fall afternoon. The sun is shining down beautifully. The leaves rustle in the wind, and the birds are chirping, getting ready to head to warmer lands.

And all of a sudden, your boot sloshes in the mud puddle that caught you unaware.

It’s not at all a tragedy. It’s not really even a shame. It’s simply a muddy bootleg, but it’s disappointing all the same.

And try as you may, it puts a little damper on the moment. Now, you can choose to let it ruin your day, or you can choose to shake it off and simply keep on skipping through that field. Yet, you do look back at that splash dirt and grime, wondering where it came from and what its purpose was lying so your fate was sealed.

That’s a pretty good picture of my heart today. I will choose joy, and I will choose peace, even if I have to fight to obtain it. But I’m still exploring the edges of my soul, hunting for that foul stain that is seeking to bring forth the rains.

And then all of a sudden, the name reappears, and the memories present themselves like a flood. That old wound which I thought I’d forgotten. That lost emotion which I try to keep hidden, even from myself, crashes in with a loud thud.

Some things are lost forever which can never be recovered. Some connections can not be reconciled. Some relationships are better left where they were placed and never riled.

But the pain in a little girl’s heart sometimes just creeps back and is secretly worn like an old cellar door left unlatched in the night to catch the wind in the middle of a storm.

Grief appears unannounced. Grief comes in all shapes and sizes. It might be a loved one lost; it might be a broken heart that can’t find amends. It may be a concord that has been shattered.

Grief has no time limit, and it has no bounds.

But I will choose joy. I will choose peace. And He will help to bring healing, as I bring it and lay it down again and again.

You will show me the path of life;
In Your presence is fullness of joy;
At Your right hand are pleasures forevermore.

Psalm 16:11

Merry Christmas to You in 2022!

No matter where you are or where you’ve come from,

No matter your lifestyle, your home life, or your family dynamics,

No matter your persuasion, your religion or your traditions,

We pray you have a very blessed and Merry Christmas!

And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God and saying: “Glory to God in the highest,
And on earth peace, goodwill toward men!”

Luke 2:13-14

Christmas Spirit

Are you ready? Are you prepared?

Two days and a little more, it will be upon you.

Less than 72 hours, the event will appear.

Some declare they’re equipped and arranged…

Ever since Turkey Day!

Others say it’s too soon. It’s too fast…

It can’t be here right now!

For me, I’m ready; I suppose.

Yet, if I am truthful, this one has been a little strange.

Not because I don’t want it, and not because another gift has to be made.

My heart has just felt a pause.

I want to savor and cherish, yet I feel the moments slipping like sand.

I want to ponder and reflect, and I feel the hours melting like wax.

I sense the whirlwind of activities attempting to steal away the peace and joy as I cling.

So, I will sit and soak despite the noise.

I will breathe deep and exhale slow.

Grab a cup of coffee or mocha with me, and step back to enjoy.

But Mary kept all these things and pondered them in her heart.

Luke 2:19

Be still, and know that I am God…

Psalm 46:10

Forgiveness is not Reconciliation

I choose to forgive because unforgiveness keeps me bound to you.

I choose forgiveness because unforgiveness consumes my thoughts and builds a prison of you.

I choose forgiveness because unforgiveness eats away at my peace, my joy and my quiet knowing and turns my focus to you.

I’m trying to forget what you’ve done; so, why would I choose unforgiveness that would just make me remember?

I’m trying to live and love in freedom; so, why would I choose unforgiveness that would bring your bondage and chains?

I’m watching my children thrive while enjoying my own. So, why would I ever go back to choosing your way of reconciliation.

Forgiveness isn’t reconciliation, and reconciliation isn’t always forgiveness.

But knowing the difference…

Oh, that has made all the difference!

And whenever you stand praying, if you have anything against anyone, forgive him, that your Father in heaven may also forgive you your trespasses.

Mark 11:25

Get Busy Livin’ or Get Busy Dyin’

Robert Herrick wrote a poem that had this verse,

Gather ye rosebuds while ye may,
Old Time is still a-flying;
And this same flower that smiles today
Tomorrow will be dying.

And in the movie, Dead Poets Society , Robin Williams implores the students to live life to the fullest, to reach beyond the complacent living that is so tempting and make their lives extraordinary.

I wonder how often we actually wake up and purposefully make our lives extraordinary.

Seriously, this about your day today.

How did you wake up?

What did you do in the first 30 minutes?

What did you do in the last 30 minutes?

What about all of those tiny seconds in between?

Do we work hard to live our lives to make an impact,

Or do we simply impact our lives hard to live for work?

Each one of us have the opportunity to rise above the norm, to stretch beyond the comfort, to strive above to greater heights.

It is up to each of us to choose what influence we will have,

And it is up to us whether we choose to live for dyin’ or die trying to live.

Which will you choose?

Whereas you do not know what will happen tomorrow. For what is your life? It is even avapor that appears for a little time and then vanishes away.

James 4:14

Faith Based or Religion?

Drafted this on August 17, 2019 after reading several articles of pastors and Christian leaders who had decided to “leave the faith.” This may be old news, per se, but the truth remains the same…

After reading a few articles over the past few weeks, I would like to scream this question to the world… or maybe just make a big billboard for every pastor, lay leader, worship leader, church member and just any person who calls themselves a “Christian!”

What or Who is your faith based upon?

There have been two major articles presented over the past two weeks and countless counter-articles about two Christian leaders who have “fallen from their faith” and have decided the world needs to know it.

Let me give a disclaimer as I begin this post… I understand each of these authors’ claims of feeling doubt, confusion, temptation, anger and loss. I understand their struggle to understand, their struggle to succeed, and their struggle to appease and receive admiration and approval from those around them. So, please, do not read the rest of my post with the perception that I am being cold, calloused or apathetic. I promise you, I am not.

Yet, each time I read these articles, I become amazed, angry, in anguish and eventually, driven to my knees. I am amazed that their “faith” brought them to these conclusions, and I am convinced that each of these men may never have had true faith to begin with, or they have chosen deliberately to walk away from the revelation of their first love.

Please understand, this is not a statement of judgment, but rather, a statement of truth.

If your “faith,” or Christianity, is based in the approval of men and not in the love of Jesus Christ, it really is no faith at all.

If your faith is based in the success that relies on the formulaic affirmation of your pastor, your department leaders or your members, rather than the instruction, wisdom and obedience to the only audience that should be made the main focus (Jesus), than your success has been built on a religion and a group of people whom should never have had rights to that foundation.

This is why I feel so angered by these articles, not necessarily by the faltering of their faith, but more because they have painted a picture of what faith truly is not!

Faith in Christ is a relationship, or at least it should be. It is not all of these things of which each of these men spoke.

It is should never be founded in people, a church, a method, a tradition or an expectation of a performance.

And EVERY time it is, a person will lose his or her faith! Not one time in either of their articles, statements or tweets did they say, “Jesus failed me. Jesus is an awful Lord. Jesus can’t save me, and that’s why I’m falling.” And I believe it’s because they know that wouldn’t be true!

Each of them have forgotten why they got in this thing to begin with, or at least have forgotten For Whom they began. And honestly, I’d like to ask if they actually ever fell in love with Him and the Word He gave us.

Our Christian faith doesn’t come from some man, Some organization, or even from the people who attend that organization, namely the church. If our faith is any faith at all, it comes from the inner struggle of flesh vs. spirit, and our feeding that spirit more. It comes from our seeking scripture, and following up he instructions it gives.

And now, these men have made public statements for all to hear, and many who may be listening will believe because they have similar struggles and feelings and are in a state of confusion, that their faith is nonexistent as well.

 There are so many hurting people in this world and so many people who need direction, encouragement, and just simple discipleship in their faith, and scenarios like these only add to the confusion and miss guidance they already have.

THIS is why I feel so anguished when I read articles like these.

When leaders are deceived and either fall into “blatant sin,” as we watched happen to so many television evangelists in the 90s, or simply “fall away from their faith,” as we are seeing in this current age, it creates a domino effect for those following and/or whose lives simply intersect at that moment in time.

It is disheartening and almost discouraging to watch as, one by one, more struggling Christians choose to follow these falterings either out of agreement to the confusion or out of surrender to, what appears to be, a release of inner tension to keep on the narrow path they have constructed.

I suppose this is what Christ told us would happen.

I suppose, I really should never be surprised, but my heart is still broken every time I read of a great leader falling from their faith, because a leader is someone who has followers, and those followers always suffer in the fallout.

Those followers may even have more followers who suffer, and what about their own families, especially the children who are all impacted?

It is just heartbreaking and, honestly, can become overwhelming, if we do not focus on Him and remember He is still in control!

He is still on His throne, and He still desires us to deepen our relationship with Him, carry on the purpose He has given us, and fill in the gaps where these leaders may leave a void.

This must remain as our ultimate goal, regardless of which leaders fall into temptation and deception.

Instead of staying in my moments of amazement (shock), anger or anguish, I must be driven to my knees in prayer.

We must all be. We must pray for these who have fallen and who are deceived.

Pray for their realization of the blinders they have chosen to put on, because without this revelation, they will never come back to repentance.

Pray for their removal from those who will stumble and fall behind them.

Pray that these followers will receive new leaders who can guide and help them through this storm.

Pray for the indirect impact on those who are already struggling with a faith that is made to cause us to have wonder, amazement and unanswered questions, because of the Author of this faith is Someone of such Deity that He is altogether wonderful and incomprehensible!

Pray for the children of these men and women, of those impacted, and for those indirectly hit and even those who don’t yet believe. Pray that these children find love that is undeniable, grace that is indescribable and an unfailing hope for tomorrow that can only be found in Jesus Christ!

My apologies for the long blog today, but sometimes, things need to be said, and I do hope it might help someone…

Here are just a few Scriptures I have found that might help us along this journey of leadership and faith…

2 Timothy 4:2-4, “Preach the word; be prepared in season and out of season; correct, rebuke and encourage —with great patience and careful instruction. For the time will come when people will not put up with sound doctrine. Instead, to suit their own desires, they will gather around them a great number of teachers to say what their itching ears want to hear. They will turn their ears away from the truth and turn aside to myths. But you, keep your head in all situations, endure hardship, do the work of an evangelist, discharge all the duties of your ministry.

Acts 20:28, “Pay careful attention to yourselves and to all the flock, in which the Holy Spirit has made you overseers, to care for the church of God, which he obtained with his own blood.

Proverbs 4:23, “Watch over your heart with all diligence, for from it springs all life.

Matthew 18:6, “But whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to have a great millstone fastened around his neck and to be drowned in the depth of the sea.

James 3:1, “Not many of you should become teachers, my fellow believers, because you know that we who teach will be judged more strictly.

Luke 12:48b, “Everyone to whom much was given, of him much will be required, and from him to whom they entrusted much, they will demand the more.”

1 Timothy 2:1-4, “I urge, then, first of all, that petitions, prayers, intercession and thanksgiving be made for all people—  for kings and all those in authority, that we may live peaceful and quiet lives in all godliness and holiness. This is good, and pleases God our Savior, who wants all people to be saved and to come to a knowledge of the truth.

Everyone’s Crazies

The holidays always bring with them interesting family dynamics and semantics.

For some, it’s just simply dealing with the edges of uncomfortable scenarios and conversations, but nothing real out of the way.

No harm. No foul.

For others, it’s complete removal from the dysfunction and toxic environment which accompanies family, celebrations and traditions.

Survival of the Fittest or Crabs in a Barrel.

For most, it can just be learning to navigate between the two extremes.

The Journey to the Center of the Earth.

Wherever you find yourself during your yearly festivities, strive to do better.

Better yet, don’t just strive to survive.

Learn to thrive!

Your thriving isn’t going to look like another’s.

So, do what you can do to succeed.

Their crazies aren’t yours, and yours aren’t theirs.

They don’t have to understand.

Happy Crazy Holidays.

The righteous shall flourish like a palm tree,
He shall grow like a cedar in Lebanon.
Those who are planted in the house of the Lord shall flourish in the courts of our God.They shall still bear fruit in old age;
They shall be fresh and flourishing,
To declare that the Lord is upright;
He is my rock, and there is no unrighteousness in Him.

Psalm 92:12-15

Therefore, beloved, looking forward to these things, be diligent to be found by Him in peace, without spot and blameless; and consider thatthe longsuffering of our Lord is salvation—as also our beloved brother Paul, according to the wisdom given to him, has written to you, as also in all his epistles, speaking in them of these things, in which are some things hard to understand, which untaught and unstable people twist to their own destruction, as they doalso the rest of the Scriptures. You therefore, beloved, since you know thisbeforehand, beware lest you also fall from your own steadfastness, being led away with the error of the wicked; but grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. To Him be the glory both now and forever. Amen.

2 Peter 3:14-18

Be Good To You

Too often, we work so hard to be kind to others that we forget to be kind to ourselves.

Sometimes, our focus is so laser set on what everyone else needs that shut our eyes to our own.

Frequently, we are so set to serve and fulfill everyone else’s wants, that we deny all of our desires.

Many times, we are so overly in tune with everyone else’s demands that we simply ignore as our body, our mind, or even our family is crying out to wake us from our oblivious yes.

Be good to you doesn’t mean you have to be selfish.

It doesn’t translate into having to be rude.

It doesn’t even suggest a response to be petty, mean and self-centered.

It only interprets and communicates:

“I am a person of value and worth just as much as you.”

Speak kindly to yourself. Balance it with truth.

Be honest with yourself. Balance it with compassion for all things broken.

Respond with the overwhelming grace that only He can bring.

Listen attentively.

Watch conscientiously.

React respectfully.

Both for you and for them.

And above all, let Christ rule and reign in your heart, in your mind, in your soul.

And let His will become yours.

Let His heart consume yours.

Let His eyes and ears become yours.

Let His voice speak through yours.

And only then, can your world become the peaceful paradise it was meant to be.

Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things arejust, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things. The things which you learned and received and heard and saw in me, these do, and the God of peace will be with you.

Philippians 4:8-9

Not that I speak in regard to need, for I have learned in whatever state I am, to be content: I know how to be abased, and I know how to abound. Everywhere and in all things I have learned both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

Philippians 4:11-13

And my God shall supply all your need according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus. Now to our God and Father beglory forever and ever. Amen.

Philippians 4:19-20

Holiday Blues

A memory popped up today through technology in one of those ways that it can these days.

It was just five years ago, but the changes that have come would make it appear it’s been at least a decade.

It seems the holidays bring such highs and lows to my heart these days, that at times, I feel distracted.

And my heart is grieved.

It’s not really that I’m altogether down; yet, the grief I feel in those moments seem to bring clouds to the happiness of the season.

My arms ache for those who are gone, and I long to embrace.

The day of thanks came and went with less people gathering around the table, and so many shifts have occurred.

My eyes fought back the tears.

The morning after used to be filled with laughter of little ones as we went out on an adventure, but those boys are all grown and flown away now.

My smile resisted the complaint.

I decided not to cry. There’s too many things for which to be grateful.

Yet, the holiday blues are knocking at the door.

Don’t let them in today. For if we do, they’ll be tempted to stay.

So, I’ll pick up my step and go decorate the tree and hum those Christmas carols once more.

For even through grief, my heart can sing as I remember His grace, and let Him wash away the pain.

Today, I will embrace the goodness that God has given and the hope He has promised.

You will keep him in perfect peace,
Whose mind is stayed on You,
Because he trusts in You.

Isaiah 26:3

He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.

Psalm 147:3

Take a Pulse

Take a pulse today.

Are you surviving or thriving?

If you’re only surviving, think it through.

Don’t accept it as normal.

Seek for change. Seek for a difference.

Fight for it.

Start thriving.

You can do this!

Therefore let us, as many as are mature, have this mind; and if in anything you think otherwise, God will reveal even this to you. Nevertheless, to the degree that we have already attained, let us walk by the same rule, let us be of the same mind.

Philippians 3:15-16