Lessons Learned

In the Depths of the Falls

/ The WheatandTares / 1 Comment

 

I saw a glimpse of something today. We took a little hike to Amicalola Falls and were standing on the bridge, looking up at the falls when I saw it. Looking up, this song started rolling over and over in my mind, and before I realized it, I was softly singing: 

Peace, peace, wonderful peace

Coming down from the Father above

Sweep over my spirit forever I pray 

In fathomless billows of love

As I stood there, listening to the waters rush over the rocks and tumble down below, I began to really see it…The rocks were solid, strong, unyielding. There were sharp places and dark places…green, squishy patches and dry, splotchy parts…even some spots with crackly, dry weeds. Yet, where the water flowed, the rocks were smooth and even shiny, almost like jewels glistening in the sun. The waters rushed over the edge at one place and trickled down, hardly noticeable in another. Sometimes, it would bounce and jump, almost seeming to dance in laughter off the rocks, and in others, that same water swirled and pooled, making little collections of shimmery basins in which you could’ve cooled and refreshed your feet. The falls were simply beautiful, invigorating and peaceful, inviting and overwhelming, all in the same breath. 

As I stood there, tears streaming down my face, I could see the depths of my very soul. The rocks are the image of my soul. It’s solid, strong, and unyielding, sometimes for very good reasons, sometimes for not so good. The water is the Living Water of God. It washes my heart, cleanses my mind and purifies my soul. It causes the green patches of soft, squishy grass to grow.Those are the places where I’m tender and soft toward the things of God. I’m pliable, moldable, easily moved and quickly changed. These are the places where I long to stay, to learn, to grow. 

Yet, there are other areas where it’s not so sweet. His water has to smooth out the sharp, ragged, painful places, those places we’d rather not talk about, those pains we’d just as soon forget. He pours over those jagged rocks of my soul to bring life, restoration and joy.

I was reminded, in that moment, all our souls are in this similar state of being. Some are more, some are less, but we all have sharp, jagged rocks that need His soothing. We all have dark places, those things which are ugly and hidden from the world that need His cleansing. Each one of us has a dry spot or two that needs more water and oh, those pesky weedy areas that are in such need of His purifying. Every one of us has a need for so many more of those soft, squishy, green patches, those places where His love and mercy abide. Our soul longs for those times when we are fully immersed in His goodness and grace.

You see, when we let Jesus into our soul, His rivers of Living Water rush into our lives to show us His love, His grace, His mercy, those things which He’s just been waiting to pour out. Sometimes, the water is so loud, so consuming, we can’t even contain it or comprehend it. Other times, He lets it trickle down a forgotten path, one we thought we’d pushed far into the past to a place never to be seen or remembered again. Yet, He gently lets His waters flow, washing over those places, drawing us back, soothing our soul. 

Just as these falls towered before me, His Living Water towers over our souls. He cleanses us, changes us, and transforms us into a beautiful spectacle for all to see. As we allow His water to wash over the depths of our being, we will know He is God. We will know He loves us; we will experience His grace, and we will be transformed into a new creation. We will become a beautiful waterfall that others will gaze upon and feel refreshed, invigorated, challenged and changed. They will gain strength and wisdom as they see what the Lord has done in our life. Many will long for the same as they see the place where He abides. All we must do is allow His Holy Spirit, His Living Waters to flow into and through our lives. Will you let Him flow today? 

“…And let anyone drink who believes in me.” As Scripture has said, “Out of him (or them) will flow rivers of living water.” John 7:38

  

     

Shadows

/ The WheatandTares

Have you ever been outside on a bright sunshiny day and all of a great big shadow covers you like a blanket? You look around to see what is causing the shadow in the middle of the day only to realize a great big cloud is passing overhead, and its shadow was being cast upon you. I want you to think about that image for a moment. Think of how that shadow makes you feel in that moment. Does it cast a bit of fear in your heart from the sudden darkness it brought? Does it bring a sense of coolness, giving you a break from the summer’s heat, or maybe it actually brought about a chill, because the temperatures were a little cooler on that fall afternoon…
Now imagine YOU are that shadow….What kind of shadow do you cast on others?” Is it anger, fear, rest, relief, or joy…
Let me give a few examples of the different shadows we can encounter from day to day…
Shadows can make some afraid…fear comes from the unknown and the concern for danger.
A little child is often scared at night because the shadows being cast upon his bed. He doesn’t know that it’s only the light from the hall casting the shadow on the wall. He imagines a “boogeyman” is sneaking by.
A young girl gets frightened as she walks down a deserted street at night as shadows seem to lurk around every corner. She has a concern for her safety and longs to be in the security of her own home.
To some, shadows can bring relief…relief from the blistering heat and the bright, overbearing sun in the middle of summer. That shadow will cool the brow and soothe the tension.
A farmer seeks refuge in the shade after a long, hard day’s work, taking a break to catch his breath before the evening’s done.
A child seeks solace from the overbearing sunshine on the heated shore. The shade brings comfort and relaxation; so, he might go run and play again.
Yet, to some, that same shade is further pain and bitter wind on a cold and dreary day. On a winter’s day like we had last week, the shadows only bring more misery and bitterness to an already blistering, below freezing day.
To the young, these same shadows can mean a time of playful figures dancing on the wind. These shadows can be translated into beautiful stories and testimonies of happy endings and even fantasies as the children make shadow boxes and hand motions creating animals, faces and even figures with the light and darkness.
So, you see, there are so many conclusions for shadows. Some good, some not so good. It all depends on how that given shadow causes a person to feel…
If you will notice in each of these scenarios that I’ve listed, it wasn’t the source of light that caused the differences of feelings within the person who received the shadow, and it wasn’t even the person, necessarily, as I mentioned, there were children and adults, alike, who responded with a good or bad feeling, but rather, it was the OBJECT through which the shadow was cast!
When we are in the light of the Son, we have the choice to be a “good” shadow or a “bad” shadow.
Your talk can cast your shadow of doubt as you spew negativity and gloom on an already dreary land. Or your talk can cast your shadow of faith as you speak of God’s goodness, His grace and His faithfulness.
Your actions can portray your hope in God above. Your smile can cast a shadow of relief on a weary soul. Or your actions can show your very doubt of His eternal abilities!
In these moments, when I see or hear believers casting “dark” shadows on other believers, I have to ask, “Where is the very hope to which we cling? HE is the Author and Finisher of our faith! We are conquerors through Christ who strengthens us! We can live victorious, in Jesus Name!” We must cast shadows of HOPE, of JOY, of LOVE, of LIFE!!
In the book of Genesis, Abraham cast a shadow of diligent obedience…in sacrifice, he was obedient…in directives (when told to “go”), he was obedient.
Throughout the Psalms and in the history of I & II Kings, King David cast a shadow of passionate worship…in victory, he worshiped passionately (ark of covenant brought home)…in sorrow, he passionately worshiped (death of child)…even after sin, in repentance, he passionately worshiped (Psalm 51)
Daniel cast a shadow of fervent prayer…when intimidated by Nebuchadnezzar, when threatened by the Kings’ court officials, and even when he was about to be devoured in the lions’ den, he fervently prayed.
The Apostle Paul cast a shadow of zealous and bold witness throughout his ministry in the NT…when faced with trials (before Caesar) and faced with imprisonment (in various places).
Even Peter cast a shadow when faced with others’ needs (remember, his shadow cast healed the sick?).
These are the ways that we should cast our shadows upon others. These men have given us examples of what kind of “shadows” to be…
I want to leave you the question with which I began, “What kind of shadow are you casting, or going to cast, for others to follow?”
Anxiety – Is it too tall, too big for them to ever feel success?
Fear – Are there too many expectations, too many demands, or is it only a fraction of what you have received?
Doubt – Is it too small, limiting their dreams to your abilities and only the things which you have achieved?
Anger – Is it full of strife and anger, grouchiness and negativity?
Insescurity – Is your shadow too limited by your own faults and failures that they cannot see Jesus within it?
Or is it a Shadow of….
Confidence – Or is it an inviting shadow, allowing them growth, maturity and wisdom to gain? Rest & Strength – Drawing them close to learn, to develop, to expand and add to their own thoughts and dreams?
Joy – Making them laugh at the face of danger, brandish their swords before the enemy, rejoicing for the days and dreams to come?
LIFE – A shadow that brings animation to their own as the two blend to become one that looks a whole lot like the Savior whom we serve?

Hebrews 12:1-3
Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.

If we are living a life that is knelt at the foot of the cross, and if we are daily turning toward the cross; then, our shadows will become that of the cross! When the cross is before us, in the LIGHT, which is the Son, we no long are seen, but the cross is seen!!
Let our shadows become the cross; then, all those who follow will only see JESUS!

Why Break Their Hearts

/ The WheatandTares / 1 Comment

IMG_9834Ya know, sometimes, this world makes me angry at how easily people can walk away from a life commitment. I want to remind them that they made a vow before and to each other, before their family and friends, before GOD. Vows shouldn’t be made flippantly nor should they be taken lightly. Your word should stand for more than just a simple piece of paper that can be shred and burned in less than a minute. Your word should be solid, one that can be passed on from generation to generation.

I understand, there are legit reasons, cases of infidelity, abuse and illegal activities. I got it. They’ve got their reasons, but sometimes, I just want to scream at those who give up for stupid reasons, especially when there’s kiddos involved. Statements like, “Well, I just don’t love you anymore….I’m tired of trying.” These nonchalant attitudes, thoughts of reckless abandonment, these kinds of things should be scoffed at in today’s society, not “understood” and consoled, even congratulated. These are the words that shatter young dreams. These are the actions that implode self esteem and fragmentize tender hearts, and I’m not talking about those who make the decision but, rather, the lives surrounding that decision. Everyone is effected. No one is immune.

Moments fade. Lives change. Hearts are never to be the same. The decision makers think, “All will mend in time. It will eventually be okay.” What they don’t see is the permanent limp they’ve caused, not only to their own life, but to all those involved. Yes, limps can be managed, compensated for, and sometimes, even hidden for a while, but eventually, truth always unveils what is left in the shadows. Water always finds its level, and that is when surviving begins, and thriving is left in the dreamland.

Yes, I know, thriving can come. Healing can come. I am a testimony to this kind of pain and to this kind of healing. It is possible. There is hope thereafter; however, I still experience the pains and the healing…and I’m in my 40’s…and the deed was done just shy of that many years! It’s just not an easy road to travel for those following behind. 

Be careful what you say in anger. It may come back to bite. Be cautious what you do when lonely. It may come back to haunt you. Live your life for the eternal moments more than the momentary pleasures of relief. Live out your days with determination to keep those commitment which matter to those coming behind. Live in such a way that generations to come will be eager to follow.

Step on Through

/ The WheatandTares

”Sometimes, you don’t know when you’re taking the first step through a door until you’re already inside.”- One thousand Gifts, Ann Voskamp

“Well said, Ann.” Sometimes, when you’re just walking along, just doing what you’re supposed to be doing, doing what comes next and doing it well, you don’t really know you’re going through an open door to find a precious treasure inside, until, you’ve already arrived inside. You don’t realize the threshold under your feet until a third party walks up and says, “Great job today!” 🙂 In that moment, you come to realize the blessings to which you have been bestowed. You think, “Oh, wow, I actually ended up where I wanted to go.”

It takes obedience in the step, tenacity in the mundane and consistency in the trials to arrive at the goal. Sometimes, during a marathon, you can’t see anything but the next step. You can’t see the finish line that’s around the next bend, you can only see the tag number of the person running in front of you; yet, you press on. You persevere, and in the end, you reach your goal.

That’s how we must be in this life. We may go through trials. We may meet obstacles along the way, but if we’ll just keep striving, just keep going, we will reach those dreams that, so often, try to allude us. Keep pressing forward.

Whatever you do, don’t turn around! Don’t quit! You can do this! You can make it. You’ll never get inside until you step through the doorway, and you’ll never step through, if you don’t keep following the path to the door. So, keep putting one foot in front of the other; keep stepping on through, my friend. Sometimes, it takes the baby steps to get to the giant leaps and bounds. Keep going. You will “be inside” before you know it!

Right Where You Are

/ The WheatandTares

BIG PICTURE LIVING
while DEALING WITH
the HERE AND NOW…

Sometimes, life isn’t what we dreamt it to be. Do you remember? Those dreams you had as a little child…fairytale lands, sweet candy trees, visions of the prince coming to save you…thoughts of a knight in shining armor riding up, slaying the dragons and whisking you away to the city made of gold, the land where it never rains, and evil is far, far away.

Or maybe you were that little kid whose cape whipped in the wind. You became as tall as a house, had muscles made of steel, and eyes full of fire. No villain or evil thing could come against your universe. You could squash them all in a millisecond! Do you remember those wonderful visions of grandeur?

Time moved on, you grew up, and holding those grand dreams tight within your chest, you faced the world. You were determined to have that extra-human strength to conquer anything, or anyone, who might try to stand in your way. Then, the storms rolled in, the lightening flashed and the winds screamed in your face. The fight became real, and the dreams began to wash away with the rain. The struggle grew harder, and, as you struggled just to breathe, you were thankful just to simply survive. Those dreams were shut away in the archives of childhood, and the giant called LIFE demanded your surrender and your obedience. You succumbed to responsibilities, others’ expectations and failure.

Who told you those boyhood dreams couldn’t be realized? Who told you that little girl could no longer dance on the wind and be rescued by the handsome prince? Those voices you’ve been listening to have LIED to you! If you are reading this, if you are still able to move, and if there is still yet breath in your being, you’re not finished! Your potential here on this earth is not through!

Get back to dreaming! Recall those thoughts of the past! Sure, life is hard. Sure, times change and people change, but that doesn’t mean your dreams have to. It may take hard work. It may take failing a few times. It may even take altering the complete expectations of those dreams a little (yeah, so maybe you don’t wear the cape and tights to work everyday), but you can still be a hero to your wife and kids! You can still be swept off your feet by the man you love simply by opening your eyes to actually see him.

See the bigger picture. If you’re not where you long to be, just start right where you are. Start with the here and now. Your big picture can never be realized if you bust up the frame before the details are done. You’ve got to begin right now, right here.

If you dream of someday owning your own business, start researching now how to accomplish it. If you dream of one day writing a book, start journaling and keeping notes today. If you long to go back to college, but don’t see a way, since you’re now working two jobs and have four kids, talk it over with your spouse, make plans, fill out the applications, and apply for financial aid. Was that a teacher, preacher, doctor or contractor dream you had? Then take the steps today to begin realizing those dreams, even if they do seem tiny in the grand scheme of things! You can never begin on the journey if you don’t pack your bag and chart your course. You can do this!

You’ll never get to the big picture, if you can’t start putting the puzzle of life together right now, one piece at a time. If things are just awful, the bucket has holes, and the water is pouring out faster than you can stop it, just start with the one hole. Pick up your hammer and nails, or your spatula and putty, and patch it up. Don’t freak out over all the holes at once. Focus on one or two; then, once those are repaired, start on the next set.

When you successfully jump that first hurdle, and then the next, you’ll be amazed at the energy it will give you to set your eyes ahead to face the next one! That’s called momentum. Get you some! You’ll begin to not only survive, you’ll begin to thrive. When you thrive, nothing can hinder you from accomplishing that big dream, reaching that big goal, and seeing that big picture. Do it! Start today…right here and right now! 🙂

Clarity

/ The WheatandTares / 1 Comment

A MOMENT OF VISION

IS WORTH A LIFETIME

OF SIGHT

…Think about it…

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“Where there is no vision, the people perish…” Proverbs 29:18

Thankful for friends

/ The WheatandTares

I am currently working on my list of “Gifts of a Thousand” in following the example given by the book, One Thousand Gifts, by Ann Voskamp. You can read and find out more here. Making a list of 1,000 things of which you’re thankful is not such an easy task. Sometimes, I feel I am making great progress; then, at other times, I wonder if my heart is even grateful.

The other night, I was at a restaurant with about 30 ladies from our church, enjoying a Girls Night Out, and this time of fellowship, coupled with thoughts of those who couldn’t be there that evening, inspired quite a few notes on my ‘thankful list.’ I thought it might be fun to share a little of this list with you today, and maybe it could even inspire you to start making your own ‘grateful’ list…

205. Watching someone be surprised when their meal is paid for
206. Hearing nice, decent men tell a group of ladies, “Have a nice evening, ladies!”
207. One waiter serve 30 women their meals both joyfully and graciously
208. A young mother smile through tears; even though, the doctor has said, “no more babies.”
209. A young wife testify, “The name of the Lord is great!” even after two miscarriages and no promise of a single child
210. An recent widow enjoying time out with friends even while she’s still grieving
211. An elderly widow enjoying time with the girls even though she has a tough time hearing while in big crowds
212. An ethnic friend sharing about challenges she’s facing, trusting God is in control
213. A mom to young girls, whose past could offend, but whose faith in God and surrender to His ways will change the greatest scoffer
214. A young grandmother, new to the event, comes on her own just to meet new friends
215. Young college girls being tight friends through thick and thin
216. A seasoned mom/grandmother whose words of wisdom is a cherished treasure
217. A grandmother whose grown children have gone through various tragedies and trials, yet her faith in God cannot be shaken
218. A vibrant grandmother whose young son lost his fight with cancer, yet through her grief, she’s learned to laugh again
219. A mother to three youngsters, all under the age of five, lead women with grace, compassion and poise
220. A grandmother who has a mother in a nursing home, just lost her daughter-in-law to organ rejection and is less than a year removed from her husband having a heart attack, share exciting news of an upcoming cruise
221. A mom of two teenagers who longed to ‘get with the girls’ and couldn’t due to illness, but sends a text of love and “I’ll miss you!”
222. A mom of three youth, who still grieves the loss of her momma, yet has learned to smile again in spite of the pain

These are the women, and many more, who make up my life. Some of them have been friends for years, some I had just met that night, but I still call myself blessed to be surrounded by them. They are women of strength, women of tears and women of God. They are each a piece of this wonderful tapestry called life, and for each of them, I am eternally grateful. 🙂

Time Stands Still

/ The WheatandTares

Last week had a pretty full agenda, usual routine things, several added appointments for me, and several added items for the boys, but all that changed around 4am Wednesday morning…

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JMan came in the bedroom, tapped me on the shoulder and told me he had just thrown up. My brain, still groggy from sleep, didn’t immediately register what he was telling me; so, I said, “Okay, go back and lay down. I’ll be there in just a second.” As I heard him leave the room, my brain and my “mom instincts” kicked in. I got up, went and got blankets to make a pallet in the guest room (I always “quarantine” the sick, hoping to contain the germs), retrieved my own pillows, and told little man to come with me.

I proceeded to make him a pallet, set up water bottles, towels and a night light. We were “set” for a night of sickness, or so I thought, knowing that the boys’ usual course is about 6-8 hrs., and they’re done. At noon that day, after following him to help in the restroom every 30 minutes since 4am, I began to wonder if this was going to be the normal run of sickness. Five hours later, I was convinced this was one nasty stomach bug that wasn’t going to let go so easily.

Everything stopped that day. I cancelled my dentist appointment to get a crown, which I have to say, I wasn’t too upset about. I put off plans to cook for the week (I had had plans to cook several days’ worth of meals), and we ordered out for lunch. My husband took JGrizz back and forth to church with him, as I’m usually the chauffeur, allowing my husband to prepare for his Wednesday night class. I asked someone else to record JGrizz in a drama performance; since, I couldn’t be there, and I called the choir director to notify him of my absence. Joey then chauffeured JGrizz back and forth to school the next two days, as well as, helped him to study for tests and confirmed homework was done, and he taxied him to other events and church for the weekend, all the things which I am very accustomed to doing in my day to day routine.

All day Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, and Saturday, I was totally focused on taking care of JMan, tending to his needs, praying, refilling water bottles and cleaning up behind him, all the while, hoping and praying no one else would get sick. (This was a very nasty bug!!) My routine became matched with his, sleeping when he slept and waking when he awoke; otherwise, I stumbled around trying to catch up on the lost sleep, which, I basically did anyway during those hours. It’s never easy sleeping when you’re baby’s sick! I stayed huddled up with him in that guest room for four days. Nothing else mattered except getting him well.

Due to both my boys and my husband depending on me for different things day to day, I had to fight internally with my own mother and wife instincts throughout that time. I felt obligated and needed to tend to JMan’s needs, while I also battled guilt over not being able to be there for our oldest son’s youth competitions that weekend and leaving all the burden on my husband to make sure they were both taken care of and arrived at all the places at which they needed to be for the total of five days (by the time JMan really got well).

It made me think of families whose babies have gone through trauma, are experiencing a terminal illness, or even have a long-term sickness that maybe can’t be diagnosed. How do they function over time? How do they manage their homes, their lives, their personal needs? This realization came to me: they find a “new normal.” Yes, that’s the only thing you can do when your loved one is sick, and they need you. All the other things in life, those things which you thought were of such importance, just seem to fade away. The focus becomes crystal clear: the well being of your child.

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Those days gave me a new perspective. A perspective that, I’m sure, was really always there. It wasn’t the first time our little man had been sick; however, it was the first time he’d been this sick. It was, also, the first time in a long time, I suppose, I stood back and thought of more than just getting through the moments of sickness and maybe thought of more than just the sickness of my own child. It reminded me that time seems to stand still when you least expect it. It reminded me, as I often encourage others to do, to make sure I’m living life to the fullest, and cherishing those with whom I’m living and sharing this life. For, none of us know what tomorrow might bring, and what a pitiful state we will be in if we only realize tomorrow what we missed out on today!

So, can I encourage you today? Take time for those you love, not just in the tough moments, but in the good moments as well. Step back and see those you love in the moments right where they are. Cherish them. Hold them. Love them. Step back and take a look around. Take notice of who is there, where you are, and where you are going together. When we’re able to step back and see the bigger picture, we’re apt to learn so much more!

Move from Strength to Strength, Momma!

/ The WheatandTares / 1 Comment

We sang a song in choir the other day that had this verse, “We move from strength to strength…” It was running through my head this morning, and I thought of my grandparents. They have always been pillars of strength and my examples to follow in life. As a mom, these examples have helped me to be a better mom, a better wife, and, in general, just a better person.

My grandfather was a “man’s man,” nothing ever seemed impossible to him. He grew up poor, was ridiculed and pushed himself to success. He founded his own heating and air business, was county commissioner of his small town, retired at a young age and lived out his days enjoying life and traveling with his wife to see kids, grandkids and sights all over the US.

My grandmother was born in the first year of the depression to a commercial fisherman and his wife. She had 3 sisters, and they didn’t have much, but they had each other and their faith. They found that was all they needed. To our family, and to many, my grandfather was always seen as a pillar of strength, and my grandmother has been the epitome of grace; no matter what comes in life, she seems to handle it with grace and dignity. Even before my earliest memories, these two have been a big part of my life; so, it comes as no surprise that a lot of their ways have become mine. Many people say I take after my grandmother, and my husband seems to be fashioned from much of the same mold as my grandfather. One of the biggest things they both taught me over the years was strength and grace.

I believe we can only move from strength to strength when we live by grace. Trying to move from strength to strength, without grace for the moments in between, is like trying to move a sailboat without the wind. You can definitely move it, with oars, of course, but it sure does take a lot more work than if you had wind to move it across the sea. The wind is what brings speed for the vessel and “rest” for the captain. When the wind is pushing the sails, the captain still has some work to do, but it sure makes for an easier time of sailing!

This is how it should be with our lives. We can be men and women of strength, but if we don’t have grace, we’re always struggling with the weight of our task. When we have no grace, we may be irritable, grouchy or even down right mean when it comes to dealing with others who get in our way or those who want to “jump on” for the ride. Grace refreshes our weary souls. It gives us compassion for others who may be on the same path. Grace brings joy in the midst of the trial, and it gives us perseverance for the journey.

Ladies (and men, too, actually), can I challenge you today? Live your days from strength to strength, robed not in your own will power and force but rather, robed in grace which softens you around the edges. Let that grace cocoon your strength to allow it to become a pillar of hope to others along the way, a refuge which brings refreshment to yourself and other “travelers,” and a solid foundation that helps you persevere through whatever life brings to you. When you live through the ups and downs of life with dignity and grace, you leave a legacy that others long to follow.

If I could, I’d like to encourage you in this, as well:  don’t live your life from crisis to crisis. It’s so unbecoming. It’s so unsettling, and frankly, it can even be obnoxious! 😉 This doesn’t mean you have to be stoic all the time, never crying or showing emotion, but when you live from one panicked moment to the next, it is exhausting to you and everyone around you. No one knows how to receive you from one day to the next, and you leave a river of chaos for your children to swim through. However, when there’s a peace inside that can’t be shaken, it gives you stability even through the darkest storms, and it will actually draw others to you. They learn from your strength; they gain the courage to face their own fears and trials, and they even learn how to become a symbol of stability for someone else who may be facing the same situations.

I have definitely found this to be true with my children. When I am calm and graceful through the trials of life, my children are better equipped to handle the hard places in which they sometimes find themselves. It doesn’t mean that I never show fear, or tears, or even that I am always stone-faced without any emotion. (Anyone who is close to me knows I probably shed way more than my share of tears! – both happy and not so happy ones) I am definitely a woman of emotion; however, I also don’t rely on my own strength to carry me through the rough spots. My kids know that my faith rests in my God who will carry me through. They know that when we rely on His grace for our strength everyday, the end result of our emotional well being and the well being of our entire household is a lot better off! I’m hoping they take these lessons with them for life.

The picture I have in my mind, of this kind of strength, is being in a storm shelter with your daddy, granddad, or husband , someone whom you feel is invincible and “can never die.” It may not be the grandest of circumstances, and you definitely would rather be somewhere else in that moment, but you rest in the knowing that no matter what comes on the outside of that shelter, you’re gonna make it, and everything’s going to be alright! You know that no matter what winds come against that door, that man will hold you till your body stops trembling and you are able to stand on your own two feet, and when you’re unable to stand, he will put his arms around you, or even pick you up and carry you until you can.

That’s the picture of strength I’m trying to give you! That’s the kind of strength we need to have. This is what we must pass to our children so they might survive in this crazy world. We must let it flow to those around us so that they might be able to stand and comfort when others cannot.

You set the tone, Momma!

/ The WheatandTares / 5 Comments

If you’re a momma or one day hope to be, I hope you will listen to what I have to give.
You can make or break that home in which you live.
You have the power to make it cheery or make it sad.
You have the power to make it good or make it bad.

You see, we women set the tone for how our families will respond.
We set the stage for this life to be and how each day will dawn.
If we rant and rave, tap our feet, cross our arms and glare, they see us.
They notice when we reach out a hand to comfort, pause for an embrace, or just give a little wink and a smile…and even if we allow our mouths to cuss.

Our children have to make choices, and yes, our husband is accountable for what they allow near.
But mark my word, how we act and react can make or break the atmosphere.
How we speak to those we love can wound or heal their hearts.
How we look at those whose lives we touch can be changed or broken apart.

So, be careful, Momma, what you say.
Choose your words with grace today.
Be careful, Momma, what you do.
Choose your actions by what you want to keep
Rather than by what you want to loose.