Living In The Reality of What Is

(Proposed Reality vs. Fantasized Perspective)
Living in the reality of what is rather than the fantasy of what should be is so important, even when it proves to be painful and awkward. Living in the reality of what is may not always be the most enjoyable spot, but it sure beats the foolishness and perpetual agony of the fantasy of what should be. Living in the fantasy of what should be might seem fun and even peaceful for a moment, but it will only bring deeper pain when the fantasy proves to be untrue and a waste of so much time. Let me share with you why…

In the fantasized perspective, you will:

* Imagine yourself being someone you’re not. You will fabricate a whole new personality, character and interaction than what is actually true. 

* Trade the true affection and acceptance from those who love and care for you and replace it with the fabricated affections of those who will only use and abuse you. 

* Fantasize about what could have been, should have been or what would have been, had things or people just been different and live in a perpetual state of denial, blame and justification. 

* Accept a false reality in the attempts of achieving the fantasized world of which you have dreamt. 

* Accept the reality someone else gives you to live. 

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In the proposed reality, you will:  

* Recognize who you are and who you are not and embrace whom God has called you to be. 

* Grow beyond what or whom you desired to have and embrace your God given purpose and engagements. 

* Have to accept that you are unwanted, unloved and unaccepted by the crowd in which you long to belong, but also, open your eyes to see who truly does want you, love you and accept you for who you are. 

* Let go of false expectations and embrace the reality of where you are and to where you are commissioned by God. 

* Accept the reality God brings to you. 
Through those painful moments of life, I have often been tempted, to slip into the fantasy of what could have been or should have been; however, I have learned over the years, this temptation is just that, a temptation for a counterfeit in my life. As I grow older, I have learned (and sometimes, am still learning) to embrace those people and things of value in my life and just let go of those of a fantasized value. I’ve learned to count my many blessings and realize those who aren’t or who have no desire to be in my life don’t need to be fantasized into the beautiful tapestry of life God has woven for me. Because of this, my life has become much fuller and richer. 

Living in a fantasy of what should be might bring you a temporary joy, but it is an exhausting journey that will leave you washed up like a broken seashell on the shore, and it will unravel any shred of peace and serenity you might find. We were never created to live in that fantasy. We were never called to fabricate a fairytale in which to abide. God created us to be who we are, and He called us to a time, a purpose and a people. It is our job to seek out that calling, get busy fulfilling it and let all the rest of that stuff go! 

…otherwise, you end up living your life like this…šŸ˜‚

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Love Me Challenge #27

Oops! So sorry, I thought I had posted this. 


What have I accepted about me through this LoveMe Challenge? I have definitely accepted that I’m unique. I’m quiet. I’m scarred. I’m doing some things right. I’m flawed. I have a past, and I have a future. I am loved, and I am an overcomer!

This has been fun! I hope you have enjoyed it, too. 😊

Happy New Year 2017!

2016 is done. We can not go back. We cannot make those anything better or anything worse. It is over. 

We might as well make peace with the past, or it will eat us alive. Lay down those regrets. Let go of those missed opportunities, and look ahead to what is ahead. 

Today is a new day. Today is a new year. We have 365 new days to approach, and that means 365 new chances to grasp. We can do this. YOU can do this. 

Make the best of it. Give it your best effort, and you may not always reach perfection, but you will be further than you are today. 

Happy New Year to you! 

Different Perspectives

“Two people can be looking at the exact same direction and yet see two completely different things. It’s all in each individual perspective.” Ā – P. Ortega-Santiago

A friend of mine quoted this the other day, and it started me thinking. This statement is so very true! You can have two people looking in the exact same direction, looking at the exact same thing, and they each may see something completely opposite. This is proven in every art gallery across the nation. ItĀ will be proven in every phychologist’s office every day, and itĀ has beenĀ proven in every home, in every marriage, and in every family for centuries of time.

People are different, and they see things in different ways. They come from different backgrounds, different experiences, different surroundings, and each of them have been impacted in very different ways. If we fail to recognize this truth, especially those of us who are in leadership, we will find ourselves in a world of hurt and confusion!

We cannot expect another person to understand, accept or realize our point of view,Ā simply, because we have stated a fact. WeĀ should notĀ demand another to see it only our way, simply, because we wish it so; they may never “get it” like we believe they should. People are people, and they will always be people.

Now, some would use thisĀ philosophy to push a certain agenda, religion or method of thought and reason. Some would use this line of logic to insist you see things their way and meet their expectations. Others will insist this information is meant to allow for tolerance or even to empower intolerance to a certain group, sect or organization.

Yet, can I tell you? Once you begin to expect everyone you meet to agree with your given perspective, even when it comes to a claiming of tolerance, you begin to isolate yourself from the very “open-minded and impartial” group of beings with which you claim to associate. There will be people who disagree with you in this life, but that’s ok. There will be people who neverĀ see it your way; that’s ok, too!

You’ve got to decide for yourself what is right and true. What is absolute truth for you? What do you use to measure this truth? Whom do you follow? Are you the smartest person in the room? I hope not. If you are the smartest person you know, you can never learn more. You can never be challenges to grow and to change.

You must follow someone who is smarter than you, bigger than you, someone who is beyond your tiny world. This is why I choose to follow God, the Creator of the universe. He is so much wiser, so much bigger, so beyond my world and even my universe!

He spoke and there was light. He spoke again and the heavens came into being. He picked up dust and formed you and me. He sent His Son to save a dying world. He healed the sick, delivered the insane, raised the dead and still does. Why wouldn’t I want to follow Someone this great?

Yet, beyond all this majesty, He loved me before I was even born. He saved me, and He has given me a hope and a future! He knows the deepest, darkest parts of me; yet, He still loves me. He guides me, directs me and always leads me to a better place. He knows what is best for me and why I need certain things and not others. He gives me peace in the storm, strength through the pain and faith during times of doubt. He even left us a “manual” by which to know more about Him and His ways. Why would I not want to follow Someone like this?

His truth has been proven for centuries upon centuries. His love has been proven within my life, and everyday more people are turning to Him, even dying for His cause. He sent His Son, and it changed the course of time. He speaks and the mountains quake. He is all powerful, all knowing and all loving. Why would I want to ever follow someone or something else?

Why would you??

Psalm 19

The heavens declare the glory of God;Ā the skies proclaim the work of his hands.Ā Day after day they pour forth speech;Ā night after night they reveal knowledge.Ā They have no speech, they use no words;Ā no sound is heard from them.Ā Yet their voice goes out into all the earth,Ā their words to the ends of the world.Ā In the heavens God has pitched a tent for the sun.Ā It is like a bridegroom coming out of his chamber,Ā like a champion rejoicing to run his course.Ā It rises at one end of the heavensĀ and makes its circuit to the other;Ā nothing is deprived of its warmth.Ā The law of the Lord is perfect,Ā refreshing the soul.Ā The statutes of the Lord are trustworthy,Ā making wise the simple.Ā The precepts of the Lord are right,Ā giving joy to the heart.Ā The commands of the Lord are radiant,Ā giving light to the eyes.Ā The fear of the Lord is pure,Ā enduring forever.Ā The decrees of the Lord are firm,Ā and all of them are righteous.Ā They are more precious than gold,Ā than much pure gold;Ā they are sweeter than honey,Ā than honey from the honeycomb.Ā By them your servant is warned;Ā in keeping them there is great reward.Ā But who can discern their own errors?Ā Forgive my hidden faults.Ā Keep your servant also from willful sins;Ā may they not rule over me.Ā Then I will be blameless,Ā innocent of great transgression.Ā May these words of my mouth and this meditation of my heartĀ be pleasing in your sight,Ā Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer.

Ā 

You’re Weird! … I’m Weird, Too!

We all have our quirks and our peculiarities. My husband is so comfortable in his; I have to be honest, sometimes, I’m downright jealous. I know, I know. I shouldn’t be jealous of my own husband! I just wish I could be okay with my oddities all the time.

I love fall and winter weather, but I am incredibly cold-natured. I hate raw tomatoes; however, I love to eat anything made with tomatoes, as in spaghetti, pizza sauce and chili, and Ā I love to make stuff from tomatoes such as salsa and vegetable soup. I love to sleep with socks on, and I can sleep just about anywhere, but if you wake me up about an hour after I go to sleep, I may not even remember our conversation by morning. I also have a love-hate relationship with the snooze button. I love to meet new people, and carry on long conversations with one or two people; yet, I am an extreme introvert, and I have to revive myself by having long moments of solitude.

Yes, I am a quirky individual, and after 40+ years of living with myself, I am still trying to be okay with these traits. I know, we all have quirks and differences to our personalities, and so many people seem completely okay with theirs, and I am, genuinely, so happy for them. Some even seem a little too comfortable…to the point of rudeness to those around them, and I suppose, this one fact alone causes me to hone in too strongly on my own idiosyncrasies for fear of possibly becoming like them.

I am so concerned with not being rude or offensive to another person, even unintentionally. All my life, I have been conditionedĀ to be kind and accommodating, and I have always had a pretty adaptable personality; so, the moments when someone is offended or bothered by something I have done or said, I am profusely apologetic, sometimes, even to a fault.

Yet, as I grow older, I am learning that this over concern for other people’s opinions can, often, actually be derived from a source of pride and vanity. You see, no matter how “nice and sweet” a personality trait may seem, on the flip side of it is an uglier, less delightful sounding trait. It can be used for either extreme, and we must realize what the root is in order to come back to center, Christ’s center.

Just as the opinionated, outspoken person can be seen as both truthful and rude, overbearing and bluntly honest, depending on the positive and negative extremes, the tolerable, quiet spoken person can be seen as both graciously kind and fearful, flexible and weak. All of these (negative) extremes come from a root of vanity and pride, ambition and envy, and we must recognize, acknowledge and surrender these qualities to God before we move to the extremes of either side.

When we refuse to let the flesh reign in our lives, and, instead, allow Christ to rule and reign, we will find that we will no longer worry over what people think, and we will worry most about what HE thinks. We will no longer err on the sides of brashness and Ā fearfulness, but rather, we will walk in complete boldness of who we are in Christ, even with all our quirks, failures and peculiarities.

When we surrender our all to Him, we will begin to actually see ourselves as He sees us, not as the world sees. We will begin to believe as He believes and act as He acts. When we are totally surrendered to Him, we will become a mirror of His life, because it will be His Spirit living in us and through us. ā¤