change

The Crossroads

/ The WheatandTares / 6 Comments

I think I have been relearning a lesson lately…

When we are seeking for inner change, and we are faced with our moment of exponential growth, we are faced with two choices. What we choose in that moment will determine if we move forward or start moving backwards, and sometimes, our choice will determine our ultimate success or failure. There is a crossroads set before us, and the road we choose will make all the difference.

Have you ever been there?

crossroads-660x400When we are seeking to be better, whether it be in weight training, ballet, education, acting, playing golf or even eating and health issues, there will always come a time, many times, actually, when the learning and the growth becomes almost painful to continue. It feels as if the choice to continue will surely be the death of our current state of being, and in actuality, it is kind of a death. It is at that moment when we must realize that our choice to “bow out” or to turn back to the more comfortable places will actually be detrimental to our overall growth, and in some cases, it can mean death to the dream or goal we have set.

When I, personally, come to this crossroad, this fork in the road, I am reminded of the poem written by Robert Frost many many years ago, “The Road Not Taken.*” This is one of my all time favorites, and I’ve referred to it often in my life experiences. He says, “Two roads diverged in a yellow wood…and I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference.*” No matter which road you choose, each path leads you forward to a new place, or you can attempt to turn back from whence you came, and you may cripple the person you are to become. Just as a child, once grown, can never truly return to the little boy he once was, I cannot return to my former self without losing the strength, faith and understanding I have come to find in walking through these crossroads.

So, I choose to walk forward, to take this crossroad set before me, no matter the challenge it presents or the obstacles I may face tomorrow. The crossroad signifies a demarkation from what and who I was to what and whom I will become. I will keep moving forward, keep exploring and continuing to discover this new world, these new experiences and this new me to find who it is I am to become and to whom I will leave it all when my day has come.

 

*Robert Frost, The Road Not Taken, https://www.poets.org/poetsorg/poem/road-not-taken

Photo: I do not possess nor do I own this photo. Simply found on Google Images from http://www.thebusinesswomanmedia.com/how-to-create-career-clarity-at-a-crossroad

The New Year’s Resolution 

/ The WheatandTares

New Year’s Resolutions. We all make them every year. So many of us start on January 1 with a long list of all the things we need to change. You know the list… Lose weight. Exercise more. Be more organized. Reach out more. Be more kind. Be more diligent. Remember special dates better. Eat better. Just simply, Be better. Too many stores make a lot of money this time of year with all the diet plans, gym memberships, organizational books and storage totes that are bought during this month.

Then, long about March 15, all of that money becomes a waste, and the commitments slowly fade away, as we slip back into our old habits and routines, because it was simply a vocalized pledge with no foundation laid for success. It was a mental note with no accountability or standards set for true inner change…because after all, it’s so much more comfortable to remain where we are than to take the necessary steps for long term resolutions.

When we make commitments simply to make ourselves feel better, or to make us look better to other people, or simply because we think it’s the “right thing to do at the time,” we may never be able to fulfill those lofty promises. I’m sure there are plenty of wise advisors today who can give you great input on how to achieve your New Year’s Resolutions; but if you’ll allow me, I’d like to give you three points which I have found to be true…

1. The new commitment must be based on Truth not just a good feeling or a common thought. Just because it feels good, doesn’t mean it will last, and just because it works for someone else, doesn’t mean it’ll work for you. Too often, we set New Year’s Resolutions, because someone else is doing it or  because “it’s the trendy thing to do in January!”

Just as serving Jesus only because “someone else is doing it” isn’t going to get you into heaven, making those New Years Resolutions simply because of someone else isn’t going to turn out so well either. The Word says in John 8:31-32, “Jesus said, ‘If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” Basing your commitment on truth will set you free from the expectations and the results or failures of others. Truth sets you free to learn and grow as is best for YOU, and it allows you to hear clearly the path you are to take. Truth sets us free from the trends, which come and go as the evening tide, and Truth is the door through which we will find our very best future.

2. We must build a foundation for the change. When a good builder builds a house, he doesn’t throw some walls together, slap a roof on it and call it good. No, he thinks about it, he carefully makes out his plans, and he usually gathers a team to assess the plans. After they have made their suggestions and given their advice, he then makes the necessary adjustments before he carries out those plans. Planning before making those commitments will help you to actually think about that to which you’re committing. Stopping to think allows you to not only realize the veracity of your commitment, but also, the depth of sacrifice you’ll need to make to carry out that commitment.

3. We must set boundaries in place and have strong accountability to sustain the change. When a professional MMA fighter, like Holly Holm, decides she is going to challenge the Ronda Rousy, she doesn’t simply step in the ring and say, “Bring it on.” She has a trainer; sometimes, she has a team of trainers who not only help her to work out and train for the big day, but they also help her study her opponent. They give her advice and pointers on how to be better, and they keep her accountable to her original goals and commitments. They work as a team to accomplish the goal set before her. Having a team around you who can help you, advise you, and even rebuke you at times, enables you to stay consistent to your commitments for a longer period of time. Having someone there to show us when we’re in error helps us to avoid the pitfalls and distractions that, too often, cause us to give up in despair before the goal is ever realized.

So, no matter your commitments and resolutions for this new year, if you can put these three little points into action before making them, you will find, later on in this year, those New Years Resolutions are here to stay!

Happy New Years to you and yours! 😊

Christmas Project

/ The WheatandTares / 2 Comments

I started last year with a family project at home that I’m starting a few days late this year, but I’m still going to do it:  A Christmas “Thankful Meaningful Jar.” We will each try to write down a mall note everyday of what Christmas means to us or something that we are thankful for at Christmas time. 

Christmas is about laughter, joy, family, coziness, warm fires and hot chocolate. It’s about reading a good book, being thankful, being joyous, being gracious, and being kind. It can also be a time of loneliness, heartbreak and desperate fear. It can be a time of lack, sadness and even anger. In our time of fulfillment, I never want our boys to forget others who don’t have. I never want them to get to a place of entitlement or expectancy and refuse to give what we have to those in need.

This is the reason for our new family tradition. I hope this jar of words of thankfulness, thoughtfulness and appreciation will help us to remember the true meaning of Christmas: Christ, His birth, His life, and His purpose. Remembering the “less fortunate” is exactly what He did; it’s what He’s all about. He left His glory, His beautiful kingdom for ME and for YOU! We didn’t deserve it. We were lost and destined for hell, but He loved us enough to come to help us, to save us, to change us and to give us a better eternity. He promised to be with us always and to, one day, come back to take us to His glorious kingdom. 

I am so thankful He did, and I believe I can serve a God like that. 💗

“For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him.” John 3:16-17

“Behold, the virgin shall be with child, and bear a Son, and they shall call His name Immanuel,” which is translated, “God with us.” Matthew 1:23

A New Beginning

/ The WheatandTares / 2 Comments

“It’s not the end. It’s only a new beginning…”

A good friend shared this revelation with me as he had just been diagnosed with a curable sickness and was beginning to learn to eat differently and take some new medications in order to feel better…all at an age well over 60. 

I said goodbye to a precious woman the other day, a goodbye that will last until I see her again in eternity. She was a strong lady of character, dignity and grace. Her family is starting each new day with her absence, learning to grieve, to cope, to live again. 

Some great friends of ours moved away to another state months ago. We probably won’t see them but maybe once or twice a year now. They are greeting new friends and learning to grow and adjust in a new home, city and surroundings. 

Our sons started a new school endeavor this year. They are no longer taught in the classroom but now receive all their instructions virtually through the Internet and tutoring videos. They are beginning to transition and learn new ways of communication and knowledge gathering. 

In all these things, and in so many more, we close one chapter in our lives; yet, another is quickly opened. We may no longer have the comfort zones of our past, but in the new, we learn to thrive. That’s what life is all about. 

So, when changes come and transitions must be made, try not to be drowned by losses; look to what is ahead. Those things, and those people, will surely be missed, but if we remain stagnant in our grief, we will never be able to embrace the new which is ahead. We will never be able to start on the new beginnings, and growth will fall beyond our grasp.

So, reminisce over what was; cherish those memories. However, don’t stay there without forward motion, or you will surely miss the sweet moments which can be treasured ahead. 

One of my favorite quotes from one of my favorite authors might sum up this little thought…

“Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened.” ~ Dr. Seuss 

Lessons Learned

/ The WheatandTares

Don’t you wish you could learn some things sooner than you actually do??Some things would have been easier to grasp when I was 20 than now when I’m over 40 and a little more set in my ways!  Some things would have come a little quicker had I started on the path of learning them when I was 25 rather than now when I’m almost twice that age. Oh, how I wish I had lived a little smarter, made choices a littler wiser, learned a earlier. It surely would have made things go a little smoother these days…

However, I came to a conclusion the other day, instead of living in the regrets of what I “should’ve, could’ve, would’ve,” 10, 15, even 20 years ago, I will now say to myself, “It is what it is, now, how am I going to make the BEST of it?!” 

Just as a pastor and I were talking the other day about some family lessons we each are learning, I came to that realization, because family lessons can be some of the toughest…you know those kind, don’t you? The kind with your mother, your father, your sister, your brother…The kind where you learn to speak up, shut up or even walk away from a dilemma that’s plagued you for years… You know, those real lessons that, sometimes, we don’t really want to acknowledge that we need to learn. 

Well, we were talking about this, and I said, “I just wish I could have learned this so long ago! It would have saved me so much grief and frustration!” His reply was, “how old are you?…(I told him)…try being over 60 and learning it!” We just laughed, because it’s so true! If you’re constantly seeking God, and what He has for you, you’re going to be learning and growing, no matter how old you are. 

I suppose, one of the most important things to remember is we’re never beyond learning!! We’re never too old to learn, to grow and even to change. There are lessons to be learned all around us everyday. It’s what we do with the lesson given to us that makes all the difference. 

Let the Fire Burn

/ The WheatandTares

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Sometimes, you just have to let the fire burn…

When farmers are “cleaning up” the soil in their field, in order to plant more seed, they will often burn the tares, left from harvest, along with what is left in the field. When the forestry wants to control wildfires before summer sets in, many times, they will set a fire to burn off the underbrush. Even when a chef wants to purify and clean his cooking grill, often, he will set a heated flame higher in order to decontaminate his preparation surface.

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Sometimes, you need to let the flames get hotter…

When a relationship has reached a heightened state of anger, and things can’t be resolved, you have to let the flames of anger burn and walk away for a bit. This doesn’t mean you keep throwing words and actions toward the other party; it means you let the embers burn for a bit while you step back from it. The fires will eventually die down when you stop fueling them; then, you’ll be able to see more clearly.   Sometimes, you just have to let the flame burn, or you will be harmed in the process as you work so hard to contain them within your grasp. 

Serving God needs the same process, except when you let the fire of God burn within you, it will have the opposite effect. The fire of God has a lasting effect. The fire of God is all consuming. When you let the fire of God consume you, you will find “the field” of your heart tilled for seeds to be planted, you will find “the forest” of your mind cleared of clutter and confusion, and you will find “the surface” of your soul purified and ready for what God has in store for your life. When you let the fire of God burn deep with your soul, you will find you have a cleansed vision, renewed mind and a changed heart. When you let the fire of God burn within, you will find a deeper desire for more. 

It will challenge you. 

It will transform you. 

It will consume you. 

Try it. 

Let it burn. 

What’s Inside?

/ The WheatandTares / 2 Comments

  
When you’re upset, you upset what’s really in you. -Ann Voskamp

You’ve heard it said, “When you spill the glass, you see what’s inside.” If sweet tea is inside, you see tea, and if it’s sour milk, you surely don’t get sweet tea! 😉 This is so true for each of us. No matter how pretty of a face we paint on, no matter how many smiles we flash, if our character is ugly, when pressures come, (and they will!) ugly is what will come out! 

In the moments of stress, it’s never a matter of what we know, who we know, or even what we’ve learned. It’s a matter of what we’ve allowed inside our hearts, what we’ve processed and what we’ve consumed. What is within our hearts is what is brought to the surface when we face hard times. 

I long for good to flow when I’m spilled out. I don’t like sour milk, never have; yet, when pressures arise, sometimes, sour is all that’s left. It gets messy. I long for purity. I long for less mess, and I’m really working on this; I truly am. 

Yet, I have found that it’s not a matter of the mind. You can’t just make yourself act better. You can’t just decide in your mind, “Ok, today will be different. No more spills. No more sour milk. Today, I shall be on a better course. I shall be better!” No, it’s not just a simple making up of the mind, and all is well. It’s a matter of the heart, and, oh, how that heart can be so stubborn sometimes…

I can determine in my mind that I will not doubt. I will not grow angry. I will not be afraid. I can convince myself that this time will be different. I will be different; however, if I’ve only convinced my mind, and I’ve not dealt with my heart, that heart will rebel. That heart will even revolt. When the heat of the moment comes, and my guard is let down, that heart will adamantly revert back to its comfort zone of fear, doubt, anger, or whatever emotion consumes it at the time. 

You see, the heart holds all the wounds, all the pain and all the joy. The heart is full of all the emotion, all the wonder, all fear. When troubles come, it’s really the heart that speaks, and this is why it is always a matter of that stubborn heart which determines what will spill out. 

This is why Jesus longs to rule our hearts. If He can hold our hearts, He can change our mind. He can transform our will. He can even change the world. If He can have our hearts surrendered to His will, He can consume our whole being. 

If we want the inside to be purified, to be empty of the mess, to be as pretty as the outside we paint, we must lend Him our hearts. We must surrender our emotions, our pains, our wounds. We must allow His living waters to wash over our hearts. We must let Him heal us from the inside out, and then, we won’t have to worry when the glass is spilt. There will be no sour to pour. It will only be full of fresh, living water, flowing from His heart to ours, and out to the world. 

“Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You are like whitewashed tombs, which look beautiful on the outside but on the inside are full of the bones of the dead and everything unclean. In the same way, on the outside you appear to people as righteous but on the inside you are full of hypocrisy and wickedness.” Matthew 23:27-28


**Note: I did not take picture, nor do not I own picture. Simply taken from google search. 

Troubled America

/ The WheatandTares

  

She was once such a lovely place to dwell;

Now, she is a reminder of everlasting hell.

She was once a place of freedom and peace; 

Now, she is a reminder of an angry beast.

 

I cry for this country and what she has come to be.

She will soon be a place that no one will want to see.

I pray that we open our eyes and see our ruined ways.

She will soon be a place of darkened, evil days.

 

Oh please, sweet America! Wake up and see your fate!

Open your eyes and do something now before it is too late!

Oh please, Sovereign Lord! Help us change what we have become.

Open our eyes and reveal the meaning of Your Only Son.

Penned – MG – 1/1/91

 

My Deepest Me

/ The WheatandTares / 1 Comment

I heard a song the other day with this line in it: 

“You met me in my deepest Me… Grace met me there”

It made me ponder that thought for awhile
Me…that’s who I am. 
I’m not you. I’m not her. I’m definitely not him. 
I’m not that wife, that mom, that dr, or that waitress 
I’m not your mom (except JGrizz’s and JMan’s!), your sister or your aunt 
I’m just Me…that’s who I am. 

Me…it’s not always a pretty place 
Sure, I can paint on a pretty smile and fix my hair just right
I can put on a nice suit and pull myself together just the way I should 
I can say sweet words and shake hands and give you a great big hug if you need it

But I sure can snap at my kids early on a Sunday morning when I’m running late
I can battle thoughts of jealousy, selfishness and just plain rudeness sometimes. 
I can be unkind to my husband, envious of the times someone might need his attention when I really need to talk to him 
Me…can be a not so gracious place
Me…can be a deep, dark, sometimes even stinky place 

I can be grouchy. I can be angry. I can be rude, sharp and even hostile. 
I can be unkind, unreliable and unfriendly. 
I can even be lazy, forgetful and unforgiving. 
Me…it’s not always a place I enjoy to be. 
Me…it’s not always a person I like to see. 
But I have found, He always meets me in the deepest of Me
He always meets me in the deepest places where others won’t brave the approach 
He always surrounds me in the darkest moments of my soul when I wonder and doubt if He’s even there
He always consumes my heart to remind me that no matter what I’ve done He still cares. 

Because when I’m Me..
He can heal
He can restore
He can bind
He can refine
When I’m Me…
He can purify
He can cleanse
He can redeem
He can transform what is seen

You see, when I’m Me, My flesh is too much for my world to handle. 
This is not a good thing, as some would presume.
Because left to me, I will die. 
I will destroy and I will reek havoc on the lives I encounter. 
Yet, left to Him…
He can reach
He can save 
He can heal

 
He will never falter. 



Not Without Hope

/ The WheatandTares / 3 Comments

My heart was heavy today, thinking of all the brokenness in this world. The weight of it resting upon my shoulders like a wet, woolen blanket. Tears filled my eyes as I pondered the wounded, the shattered, and the lost. Heaviness so intense, I could hardly breathe. Air stagnant with heartache, weariness and emptiness. So many wandering in this place. So many without a face.

I drove by this house sitting beside the road. Abandoned, dark, damaged and alone. People driving by, hurrying to their destinations, never stopping to see, never stopping to care. Shoved off to the side, barricade built, weeds and trees rummaging to find a home. Broken down roof, shattered windows, busted doors, all haunted by lost potential.

The broken lives of those lost are a lot like this old house. They take the abuse, receive the ridicule, accept the blame, wondering all the while if anyone cares as they wander aimlessly in the dark. Others are like those who moved this old house. Hard working, simply pragmatic, fighting to succeed at the task. More are like the ones who vandalized it. Kicking, biting, clawing, shattering the dreams of a once well made life.

Can you see them? Can you see yourself?  Who are you? Where are you going? Do you feel that all is lost? Do you wonder if there could still be any life inside? I am here to tell you. I am here to help you see, if there is still breath in your being, there is still hope. If there still a beating of your heart, there is still a chance. For your life is never so lost that He cannot see you. You are never so far gone that He cannot hear.

See that foundation? He placed it there in your heart before you were even born. It is that longing you feel to find something of worth, something to adore. It is that deep inner desire to be more than you are today. He placed it there. It is His drawing of your heart to bring you love, hope and life beyond your dreams.

He can rebuild a life broken. He can mend dreams that have been shattered. He can give hope to the hopeless. He can bring life to the lifeless. All can be renewed if you will just let Him in. Let Him see the abandonment, the pain, the desperation. He can change and transform. All you must do is believe.