character

Unplug Along the Way

/ The WheatandTares

How do you know when it’s time to unplug? What do you do to make it happen?

I suppose I work to not have to unplug, as I set up disciplines ahead of time to keep that from happening. Now, I’m certainly not perfect, and there have been many times that I’ve had to purposefully unplug from electronics because it all just got too much. But those particular times taught me so much and have helped me to develop routines that shield me better from having to “make myself unplug.”

The disciplines that help me to live a life of unplugging would be not letting that so I’ll media, texting or internet browsing be the first thing I grab ahold of in the mornings or the last thing I am consumed with before I sleep. I’d like to say that about the phone itself, but the only reason I do have it in hand at these times is I’m opening up my Bible app to read Scriptures to begin and end my day with the right frame of mind.

No matter if you consider yourself “a religious person” or not, reading Scripture can bring encouragement, strength, clarity and peace. Making a habit of reading Scripture brings these things into your heart and mind on a consistent basis, and as you repeat this over and over, it becomes part of your lifestyle. A lifestyle of reading Scriptures can surely change you from the inside out.

Now, let me give just a bit of clarity here. Some read scriptures, and you never really see a change in the way they talk or the way they live. And this would be because they never apply what they read to their lives. That’s no different than if you’re learning the English language by reading a textbook, and you never take what you’re reading and apply it to your language. This is what I call having head knowledge but no heart knowledge.

However, if you’ll read those scriptures and apply them, you’ll be amazed at what a transformed human you can become! When you let those Scriptures permeate the depths of your heart, and you begin to live out what you’re reading, you’ll not only be the one impacted, but those around you will also begin seeing a difference, and you’ll have the opportunity to help them change as well.

Another key discipline for my life of being unplugged is “being present where you are.” Too many people live their lives missing what is right there in front of them because they are constantly looking toward their tomorrows or always dwelling on their past. You’ll miss the beautiful people and endless possibilities if you don’t live presently where you are. I love the quote, “Wherever you are, be all there.” – Jim Elliott. I don’t know anything about that man, but he his statement hold so much truth.

And this doesn’t mean you never assess your past or plan for your future. These things are important and a must if you are to go forward in life. But if you’re not present in today, you can very well miss the healing of a past wouldn’t, neglect to see a promise for tomorrow, and become blind to the beautiful miracles of relationships traveling along either you.

I have several key disciplines, but I’ll only choose three today to save boredom of a too lengthy post… so, the last discipline world be to be intentional in whatever I’m doing or wherever I’m going or with whomever I’m with. I can defiantly attest that I’ve not mastered this nor even achieved it well from time to time. However, I am intentionally engaging everyday to get better at it. When I’m with someone, I try to be intentional with what I say, how I act, why I respond a certain way. When I’m carrying out a task I work hard to be intentional in its completion not just to finish it but to complete it with a spirit of excellence. And when I’m out in nature, taking a drive, or simply walking down the hall to another coworkers’ office, I attempt to be more intentional than I was “the last time.”

I don’t want to look at a waterfall the same way I have every time and risk the chance of growing bored with my awesome Creator’s creation. I don’t want to drive along some of the same backroads and grow apathetic to the beauty that surrounds me simply because “I’ve been there before.” And I never ever want to take for granted someone who has been in my life for a day or a decade because after all, we’re none guaranteed the next breath, and everyone has value, and I want me last effect to be an admirable, memorable one.

And when I’ve failed at these disciplines, and I’ve blogged too long, typed too long on social media with old and new friends, or simply scrolled the internet too long with mind numbing scrolling powers, I shake my head, repent of my apathy, and out that electronic device. I step outside into the bright sunshine and go find a more productive way to spend my hours.

I encourage anyone who might be reading this to do the same. Set the electronics aside, step outside and breathe the fresh air. Do what my husband and I call, “getting off the pavement”: go somewhere where there’s trees, waterfalls, dessert valleys, rolling hills, the ocean tide, or majestic mountains. Move beyond your day to day routines and experience something more. Grab that hand of someone you love and look deep into their eyes and remember why you fell in love the first time. Wrap your arms around your child, grandchild or even a parent or grandparent, and remind them of your love and your desire to be present in their todays and their tomorrows.

You’ll be so thankful that you did!

But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.

Matthew 6:33-34

What a Funny Question

/ The WheatandTares / 2 Comments

Do you practice religion?

What a funny and revealing question to ask if someone practices religion. But maybe that’s a normal activity outside my little corner of the world.

Practicing a religion creates an image of rituals, traditions and an adherence to a law or laws that has not relationship, no interaction, no love for real persons. Practicing a religion makes me think of practicing for a sport, an activity, or an upcoming event but never allowing that given circumstance to become a part of you. Because practicing for something is very different than embracing something, becoming something, and allowing that something to become a part of you.

When something is a part of your life, and you embrace it for all it is, it becomes who you are. You don’t simply practice a ritual, but you live a lifestyle. You don’t simply follow a tradition, you know it like the back of your hand. You don’t simply obey a law of the religion because you’re told to do so, but rather you surrender because there’s a higher purpose for the obedience than just the obedience.

So, to answer the question directly, “Do (you) practice religion?” I guess, I’d have to answer in complexity and simplicity, all at the same time.

You see, I’ve fallen in love with a man named Jesus, who is both God and man. I have a relationship with Him. I have embraced His ways as my own, and although, I may fall and don’t get it quite right at times, I keep striving to seek His ways and follow them for the betterment of my life.

Some people might call me religious because I do somethings that are considered traditional, like prayer, church attendance, and paying my tithes. And I do somethings that some would believe to be ritualistic like following certain words of wisdom, listening to preachers, or even things I won’t indulge in.

But I’d have to disagree. Because it’s not about a religion, and it’s not about a tradition; although, those things are attached to the reality of it, I suppose.

It’s all about a relationship with a Savior who has completely changed my life and the trajectory thereof.

It’s all about His knowing every tiny intricate detail of me, my emotions, my thoughts, my being and my beliefs, and He still loves me. It’s all about His knowing me, loving me, and long me enough to never leave me the same.

He invites me into a personal relationship with Him, and my mind cannot even fathom everything about Him. And in exchange for my surrendering my will and ways for His, He gives me eternal life and the promise of heaven that is more beautiful than anything ever imaginable.

He’s amazing.

And I’d encourage all who read this to check Him out for yourself…

“This is the covenant that I will make with them after those days, says the Lord: I will put My laws into their hearts, and in their minds I will write them,” then He adds, “Their sins and their lawless deeds I will remember no more.” Now where there is remission of these, there is no longer an offering for sin.”
‭‭Hebrews‬ ‭10‬:‭16‬-‭18‬ ‭NKJV‬‬

For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.

John 3:16

Set That Boundary

/ The WheatandTares / 2 Comments

Boundaries. What are boundaries?

An ancient boundary would be a place set up by forefathers to make territory, valued land, and a home.

Oxford says it’s a line that marks the limit of an area.

Webster describes it as something that indicates or fixes a limit or extent.

A definition I like is a dividing line.

Because truthfully, that’s exactly what a boundary in a relationship is. It’s the start and stop of what I’m willing to tolerate to allow you close proximity me.

And we all have them. We all set them. Intentionally and non-intentionally.

We set them for random dogs that run up to us on the street. We set them for rulers and dictators who want to control. We set them for arbitrary strangers in public. We set them for our boss, our coworkers, our friends.

And yet, when it comes to loved ones or family, sometimes, we question if boundaries are appropriate. Are they needed? And are they valid?

Instead of answering this forthrightly, let me answer with a question.

If you so easily set that boundary for the arbitrary stranger that you may never see again, why would that person get more attention for your thoughts than the ones with whom you are closest?

Let that settle in and mull it over for a minute.

If you set a boundary for that stranger, as in they can’t just simply steal from you without a fight, why would you allow a loved one to continually steal your peace of mind day after day?

If you set a boundary for that ruler or boss in your life, as in he or she isn’t going to come into your home and rearrange your life without resistance, why would you allow a child to walk in and wreak havoc in your abode?

If you set a boundary for that random dog you encounter, as in it will not jump on you, eat whats in your hand or dispose of itself on you without a kick, shove, yell or simple walk away, why would you allow a family member everyday to do the very same things, even if it is a mental or emotional act of abuse?

When someone is unruly, disrespectful, overbearing, self centered, or selfish in their regard to someone else, sometimes, you’re going to have to decide how much you will tolerate and then, set a boundary for no more.

It doesn’t matter if they don’t like it.

It doesn’t matter if they agree.

It doesn’t even matter if their feelings are hurt, and they say so.

What matters is the peace of mind that comes when the line is drawn and sanity is found.

What matters is the love that returns when the fence is erected and a calm is found within its limits.

Set those boundaries. Stand your ground.

And begin to breathe again.

Do not remove the ancient landmark
Which your fathers have set.

Proverbs 22:28

Healing Processes

/ The WheatandTares / 2 Comments

There is so much truth to this statement that it’s almost difficult to add anything to it.

Too often, we continually try to change people to fit what we need, or better yet, we work hard to “lead them” to a better place to accommodate who we are and who we are becoming.

But people are people.

You might can lead them well, and when that is feasible, by all means, carry on. But when it is someone who is bringing constant harm to you or to someone you love, be careful giving your time. Because you’re also giving your love, your thoughts, and eventually someone else’s flesh more than just your own.

When it’s toxicity, abuse, or dysfunction we’re talking about, step back and evaluate what you’re truly letting go of:

Peace of mind. Peace in your home.

Love in your heart. Love in your surroundings.

Sanity. Sanity in your loved ones.

If these things are given up for the sake of family, friendship , or other relationships, is it really worth it?

Sometimes, you have to hear what someone is saying, see what they are doing, and understand they are who they are. This is a a choice. And you f it doesn’t line up with the peace, love and sanity you need for your life and for those within your charge, then by all means,

Step away.

You both will be better for it.

As a dog returns to his own vomit,
So a fool repeats his folly.
Do you see a man wise in his own eyes?
There is more hope for a fool than for him.

Proverbs 26:11-12

What’s Your Angle?

/ The WheatandTares
How do you like that? Even little Judy there's got an angle going.
(This is a small video clip. Just click to hear sound.😉)

This little clip from White Christmas is so revealing for many of us. If you live your life a skeptic or a bit of an “investigator,” this phrase makes perfect sense, because you already search for the angle in every person you meet. If you live your life as an ostrich or a small child, you may not comprehend it because you don’t look past the simple words someone uses or you completely ignore innuendos as a self preservation technique.

Either approach you take in life, many times, we ourselves as well as others have an angle for what we say and do. We may be protecting ourselves from further pain, or we may be in attack mode and looking for every opportunity to fight. But we all approach life with an Angel or looking for someone else’s.

So, what do we do about that? Do we live out everyday angry, reading into, and often misreading the other person’s responses, continually in strife for every hour of the day? Or do we turn a blind eye to every whim and wind coming from the direction of a person and just ignore any possibility of malice, believing as if we live in a Pollyanna World where we are all innocent and nothing could ever be evil or vile?

I say NO to both these extremes. I say Get your trauma healed; so, you can live effectively in this world and go out and help another. I say Get your head out of the sand; grow up, and realize there is evil all around, but we get to choose to what we listen, to whom we interact, and to how we react.

If we live out lives by choices than we take responsibility, recognize failures and celebrate successes. Stop being a victim! And stop being an antagonist! There’s a better life out there for all of us!

There is wisdom in reading, gaining knowledge and asking good questions to help yourself heal. There is wisdom in gathering around ing good people who look out for you, defend you and protect you. There is wisdom in submitting yourself to a process of growth, to a challenge of change and to a hierarchy of those who will look at you and say, “You’re reacting with an angle. Stop it.”

So, get honest with YOU. Fo some deep soul searching today. Figure out your angle and why it’s there. And go get you some accountability to make yourself better than you are today.

Or not. And continue to live your life in the mud hole of brokenness, angst, confusion and failure.

It’s your choice. 😉

And if it seems evil to you to serve the Lord, choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods which your fathers served that were on the other side of the River, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you dwell. But as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.”

Joshua 24:15

Choices for 2024

/ The WheatandTares

I read somewhere today this statement, and it’s such a great way to start the new year.

(Yeah, I know we’re 11 days in. I’ve been traveling, but I’m back! 🤣)

The statement was this:

Read this today, and it’s worth repeating:
“You can either have a good life inspite of —— (the issue), or you can have a bad life because of —— (the issue). You choose.”

And there is more truth in these two sentences than I could possibly expound upon! Choices make who we are. Choices create who we become.

We are not victims. We are not helpless. We have a choice, and we need to start choosing, or we give the power to someone else.

Our society has become a victim mentality of “It’s your fault. It’s mama’s fault. It’s daddy’s fault I’ve become who I am. I just can’t help myself, and it’s someone else’s job to fix me and my situation!”

WHY??

Why should someone else fix you?

Why should someone else fix your circumstances?

You’ve got a brain. You’ve got legs. You’ve got abilities. If nothing else, your lungs are still breathing, and your heart is still beating. You’re not dead yet.

So, get up. Get moving. And make a change.

You might have to fight and claw your way out, but you can do this!! You can make it!!

Now, if you’ve stayed with me this far and read this much, I can assure you, there may be some who are offended. Some who cannot believe what I’m saying because after all, I don’t know you, and I don’t know your situation.

You’re right. I don’t know you. I don’t know your situation. And I don’t know you’re trauma or history. But I don’t have to.

I know my own. And I know my God. And that’s enough.

I have a family history full of sorrow, agony and pain. There was enough dysfunction in some places to write a book.

But the past is the past, and we must choose if we will remain in the mud and wallow in it, throwing it upon everyone who walks by to help us. Or do we climb out of that mud hole, by our fingernails, if we have to, and let change come?

It’s time to get out of the hole.

If you need help, then ask. If you need counseling, then find someone who will actually help. Don’t stay in a psychotherapy maze, where they take your money, and nothing ever changes. Find someone who has an endgame lined up for you. Find someone who cares enough to help you get better not just settling for status quo.

Move beyond that past and learn to forgive.

I know. That’s a trigger word. Why should you forgive when they’ve done the wrong?

Forgive because you deserve better. Forgive because it frees you not them. Forgive because that’s only way you can move forward and be strong.

And forgiveness doesn’t always mean reconciliation. Forgiveness doesn’t mean to walk back into the fire you escaped. Forgiveness doesn’t mean to step back into the arena where you were abused to return to the hell you got out of.

Forgiveness only means you take away their power to wound you again. Forgiveness means you remove their authority to bring harm.

So forgive today.

Choose life today.

And for goodness sake, choose to LIVE!!


I personally, I choose LIFE! I choose to LIVE! And I choose JESUS!! Because He’s the only One who gives goodness, joy, peace, redemption, faith and hope! … ie. the good life! ❤️

So for this new year of 2024, what are you choosing??

And if it seems evil to you to serve the Lord, choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods which your fathers served that were on the other side of the River, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you dwell. But as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.”

Joshua 24:15

The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it moreabundantly.

John 10:10

#speakoutspeakloudspeaklife

January is Coming

/ The WheatandTares

I hope you all had a very Merry Christmas, and I wish you a very happy New Year’s!

With Nee Year’s comes new year resolutions, reservations for new school vents and sometimes even “revolutions” to start a new thing and accomplish it with fire!

But then, after only a few months, we often see so many temporarily quit, back up or walk away altogether from their declarations. Why?

More often than not, it’s because a great proclamation can’t change the heart.

If you too closely resemble the world you are wanting to change, it will be harder for you to being about change.

If you never implement accountability, you’ll never have a foundation for truth and honestly.

If you never truly come out a be separate from that thing you are leaving, how do you ever believe you can truly transform?

So, as the new year quickly approached, let’s do some reflecting. Let’s go some pondering.

But most of all, let’s do some deep soul searching to find the true depth of the change we want and so desperately need.

And then, let’s step out of the comfort zones. Let’s rip through the veils of secrecy.

And let’s shine the light of absolute truth and stand apart from what was to become what can and will be.

But you are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, His own special people, that you may proclaim the praises of Him who called you out of darkness into His marvelous light..

1 Peter 2:9

For you are a holy people to the Lord your God, and the Lord has chosen you to be a people for Himself, a special treasure above all the peoples who are on the face of the earth.

Deuteronomy 14:2

Choosing Fear

/ The WheatandTares / 4 Comments

You’ve heard the statement Faith over Fear, or maybe you’ve seen the tshirt, but what does it really mean?

To embrace faith, do you truly let go of fear?

To hold onto strength while pushing away intrepidation?

Or do you simply grasp fear by the throat with one hand and link arms with faith with the other and walk boldly forward through the raging fire and burning flames?

I say truth faith is the latter.

True faith is when the pain takes your breath away, and you have no idea what brings tomorrow or if it will even come, but you square your shoulders and take the step onward.

That’s real faith.

And I’ve seen it in living color…

And it’s all together inspiring and beautiful.

And oh. So very rare.

But now, thus says the Lord, who created you, O Jacob, and He who formed you, O Israel:
“Fear not, for I have redeemed you;
I have called you by your name; You are Mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overflow you.
When you walk through the fire, you shall not be burned, nor shall the flame scorch you. For I am the Lord your God,
The Holy One of Israel, your Savior…

Isaiah 43:1-3

Do the Hard With Grace

/ The WheatandTares

What is something others do that sparks your admiration?

I have a friend whose husband has just had his leg amputated this past week because of diabetic neuropathy. He was cracking pirate jokes the day after, and she was back in church worshipping on Sunday.

I have a friend whose husband travels extensively throughout the year as a lawyer who defends faith rights as she stays home with her littles, and she still offers a friendly hand, makes a phone call to the hurting, reaches out to the lonely.

I have a friend whose husband was shot in the line of duty, and she works hard to raise their fifth child while also sharing with others about her faith and the peace Jesus can bring in spite of pain, and she’s also working vigorously on her own degree in the study of law.

I have a friend whose wife died tragically in a car wreck, and the very week following her funeral, with tears still to shed, he got on a plane to fly to her hometown to preach the gospel and tell people about the Jesus that she desperately loved.

Each of these friends have heart wrenching stories with details that might break the next person. But each them stand in their faith and keep loving, keep reaching, keep grieving, and keep worshipping their Creator. I’ve watched some go through much less and blame God, walk away from Him and even curse Him.

And you might wonder what’s the difference. Or maybe look at them with criticism and scoff at their faith. Or maybe you gaze upon their path and wonder how in the world you could do the same.

But I’ll tell you what I admire most: their admiration of their King and their ability to do the hard with the deepest of grace.

Their adoration inspires me.

Their vigor admonishes me.

Their dedication and determination encourages me.

It’s not your circumstances that make you.

It’s what you do with those circumstances that makes the difference.

Choosing grace over anger creates an atmosphere of strength and fortitude that cannot be easily silenced.

Choosing faith over despair creates a contagious courage that cannot be ignored.

It doesn’t mean pain is not felt, and it doesn’t mean fear is not faced, but it is the warrior within who brings a peace to those following which cannot be shaken by what’s to come and is sought after as if for fine gold.

This is what ignites my admiration.

This is what sparks the flames of my praise.

But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, that the excellence of the power may be of God and not of us. We are hard-pressed on every side, yet not crushed; we are perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed.

2 Corinthians 4:7-9

And not only that, but we also glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance; and perseverance, character; and character, hope. Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us.

Romans 5:3-5

How Big is Your Dream?

/ The WheatandTares

Are you dreaming small or dreaming tall?

What you dream of, you’ll shoot for.

What you reminisce, you’ll reach toward.

What you chase after, you’ll find in one form or another.

So, be careful what you wish for.

Dreams can become reality if only given moment to live.

You’ll either fan the flame or squelch the embers.

The choose is yours.

And today is the telling hour.

What is your dream?

Jesus said to him, “If you can believe, all things are possible to him who believes.”Immediately the father of the child cried out and said with tears, “Lord, I believe; help my unbelief!”

Mark 9:23-24