Train Them Up

Repost, with a little addition… šŸ˜‰

The Bible says, ā€œTrain up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he will not depart from it.ā€ Proverbs 22:6. As we strive daily to teach our children strong values and Godly principles, I often wonder how we’re doing. Dealing with the ever shifting cultural standards, the pressures from the outside that scream, ā€œYou’re too old fashion!ā€ ā€œYou’re intolerant!ā€ ā€œYou’re behind the times,ā€ I am tempted, almost daily, to question my motives, intentions and purpose for setting these ā€œrules,ā€ these boundaries, these standards by which we live. Having a young teen in our home, one who is striving to find himself, to determine his own faith, ā€˜not that of mom and dad,’ and to become the man he so longs to be, it causes me, at times, to pause, to ponder, to almost take a poll to see if I’m doing right by him, if I’m teaching him these things for his own good … or for mine. 

Good parenting doesn’t come easy. Good parenting isn’t a popularity contest. It isn’t a survey we take to see who approves and who doesn’t. Good parenting takes faithfulness to the One who created it. It takes a lot of love, mercy and grace. Good parenting takes tenacity to carry on, to uphold your standards and to stick to your convictions, even when you’re all alone and ā€œnobody else is getting’ itā€ or doing it your way. 

 I definitely don’t believe I’ve ā€œarrivedā€ at ā€œgreat parenting;ā€ I’m not sure any parent every feels they’ve mastered this. However, through the years of observing so many, learning through the ups and downs, and seeking God’s Word, I believe I can share with you what good parenting looks like… The best kind of parent has the faith to remain a boundary while all others run away in fear of ridicule. The best kind of parent stands with courage in the face of rejection and loneliness. The best kind of parent has also learned when to say, ā€œI’m sorry. I was wrong,ā€ even when it hurts their own pride to do so. This parent loves beyond the failings, keeps believing beyond the mishaps and keeps cheering beyond the cold winds of adversity. This parent, also, knows when to push forward and when to pause and let them breathe. Lastly, the best kind of parent keeps loving when the door to their child’s heart has been slammed shut, and it appears he or she will never come back home. 

 Good parenting skills don’t come easy. It’s not a game in which you roll the dice and see if you hit the jackpot. No, good parenting takes faith. It takes determination. It takes a strong heart to love deep and remain true. It takes a strong mind to think the unthinkable, to plan for the unpredictable and to dream the unimaginable. It takes humility, love and grace for success to come, and, sometimes, that success may not be realized for almost a lifetime. 

So, if I may charge you today: keep the faith, Mom. Hold up that standard, Dad. Remain true to the One who called you to this purpose. You can do this! You can survive! Those little hearts are counting on you. They need your love. They need your guidance. They need your boundaries that protect them from the evil outside. They need your standards that protect them from themselves. Keep fighting the good fight! You only have a few years to win this battle for the souls of the next generation. Don’t give up. Don’t give in, and never let them see you cower in fear. You were made for this. This is your destiny.  

In this one thing, you can rest assured, is Word does not fail. is promises are true. You train that child to follow Him, they will know the way home. Yes, it will have to be their choosing; He will never force their hand. He will never demand their love, but He will be ever present, ever drawing them with His love that is unconditional, His love that never fails.  

 ā€¦These are the moments when my heart is reassured that we are on the right path…                    At a summer youth camp,  I looked up and saw him immersed in worship… 

 His dream is to be a Christian Rapper…so, we work hard to help him realize his dreams even while he is still young… 

At bedtime, we find him like this more often than not… (Many times, he’s fallen asleep reading his Action Bible.)  

    …Parents, be encouraged today. sometimes, it’s the it’s the little things that we fail to notice, and sometimes, those are the very things that matter!

Who will Cry For The Children?

 Sorry for the delay in posting today!)…Thinking of the news headlines lately, I thought I’d repost a piece I wrote many years ago…

  

Who will cry for the children?

They cry out in anguish                                  
They cry out in pain

Who will cry for the children?

They play in the streets
They fall in the rain

Who will fight for the children?

They fight for their freedom
They fight for their life

 Who will fight for the children?

They run into fears
They run into strife

Who will pray for the children?

They pray for the answers
They pray for the love

Who will pray for the children?

They seek out the Light
They seek out the Truth above

Will you be the one to reach them?

Will you be the one to pray for them?

Will you be the one to fight, to cry, to bleed?

 

penned 1/26/04 – MG

Press on Through

(Sorry, these pics are only of the backs of the shirts to protect the camp name and location. šŸ˜‰ )

This week, I was at Youth Camp with 400+ 3rd-5th graders. It was hot. It was loud and crazy, and I had to do tie-dye, outside, at 2:30 in the afternoon for 3 days! On Tuesday, I mixed up some yellow dye, and apparently, I had an allergic reaction to whatever I breathed in, because by the time we finished the craft session, I had totally lost my voice and felt like I’d been hit by a Mack truck.

By the end of the night Tuesday, I really felt awful, and this feeling kind of came and went the rest of the week, mostly coming. Yet, I just made a decision early Wednesday morning that this wasn’t about me, and how I didn’t feel good, how I’dĀ reallyĀ just like to stay in bed, or how hot it was outside, and how crazy, labor intensive this job was. I decided this was for the kids. Their little faces just beamed when they saw their tie dye shirts with the camp logo on them!

They were so excited to have a “real souvenir” that they made themselves, and even more than just their reaction to the shirts, their reactions in the altars each night. The way they hungered to worship God and to know Him more.

Then, I remembered the way JMan fell in love with the horses the day before; he stayed and rode ALL of them and wanted to ride them everyday for the rest of camp! Then, I thought of how JGrizz had been so responsible, working with the canteen team, as if he was already grown…These were the things that made me remember the reason I was there. They were the reason I decided to press on through, because they’re worth it. More importantly,Ā HE is worth it, and their encounters with HimĀ are worth it!

 

‘Cuz, sometimes in this Christian walk, that’s just how it’s going to be. The road is going to be wearisome. The future isn’t going to look so bright, and you’re just not going to feel like your younger, “conquer all self” in that moment. You’re gonna wanna just lay down and quit! You’re going to want to back up and question, “How in the world did I get myself into this mess? Why am I doing this? Is it even worth it?”

But can I tell you? It’s gonna be worth it!! God’s got great plans ahead for all of us! He’s got great plans for those coming behind us! We can’t quit now!! No matter what this world looks like. No matter what decisions are being made in Washington. No matter what friends and family members say against us.

This is a battle for the next generation. If we don’t reach them; if we quit now; who will? The enemy will. That’s who! These children are counting on us to win! They ate desperate for us to win!

So, your question now may be, “How?” How in the world can we win when we seem to be so out numbered, so overwhelmed, so discouraged? How can we possibly win when those who have even been on our side seem to be walking away? We look to Him! We look to the Author and Finisher of our faith. We look to our predecessors. Hebrews 12:1-3 says, “Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.” We look to Him, and we press on toward the mark, and we pray! 2 Chronicles 7:14 tells us, “…if my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and I will forgive their sin and will heal their land.” It says if MY people, not sinners, not government, not politicians, not foreigners, but if MY people will pray…

If we will spend more time pressing beyond our circumstance, beyond our petty arguments, beyond what we’re hearing in the news and in social media, and we’ll press into prayer and relationship with Almighty God, we can watch Him move mountains!! We will see Him transform lives, and then we will realize that it’s truly worth it!! šŸ™‚

Cloud of Lies

You walk around in a cloud. 

Voices are heard. Faces are seen. 

Yet you never realize where they lean. 

You paint a smile. You wave a hand. 

Yet you never recognize where they land. 

     

They run ever fast, but never arrive. 

Opinions are spoken. Agendas are made. 

Yet they never hear truth inside the raid. 

They fight. They scramble for their own selfish sight. 

Yet they never listen to anything that is right. 


We spill out the words, never making sense. 

Abuses are dreamt. Fantasies are taken. 

Yet standards of honesty and peace are forsaken

We believe. We trust this is the better way. 

Yet our children are being raised within the broken fray. 


You walk around in a cloud. 

Voices are heard. Faces are seen. 

Yet you never know death is knocking; all is serene. 

You live your life thinking this is the best. 

Yet you never surrender; all are trying to find rest. 


Penned – MG – 6/10/15

Fall Into It (1)

Fall Into LOVE

Fall into love like you fell into those piles of autumn leaves as a child, or maybe, you’d prefer that snow to make snow angels. Either way, you wanted nothing more than to keep falling over and over and over. You wanted nothing less than to get right back up and fall again. That is just how our love should be, falling deeper and deeper with each new day…with God…with family…with our spouse…with children…with nature…with LIFE.
Our problems with people are not always the people. Too often, when we have a conflict, we like to tell ourselves, it’s because we haven’t loved enough. We haven’t tried enough. We haven’t sacrificed enough. When all we need is more of Him and so much less of us. If we’d just fall into love with Him, He would love through us. He would speak through us. He would reach through us. So, fall into Him; so, your heart can love them.

Time Stands Still

LastĀ week had a pretty full agenda, usual routine things, several added appointments for me, and several added items for the boys, but all that changed around 4am Wednesday morning…

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JMan came in the bedroom, tapped me on the shoulder and told me he had just thrown up. My brain, still groggy from sleep, didn’t immediately register what he was telling me; so, I said, “Okay, go back and lay down. I’ll be there in just a second.” As I heard him leave the room, my brain and my “mom instincts” kicked in. I got up, went and got blankets to make a pallet in the guest room (I always “quarantine” the sick, hoping to contain the germs), retrieved my own pillows, and told little man to come with me.

I proceeded to make him a pallet, set up water bottles, towels and a night light. We were “set” for a night of sickness, orĀ so I thought, knowing that the boys’ usual course is about 6-8 hrs., and they’re done. At noon that day, after following him to help in the restroom every 30 minutes since 4am, I began to wonder if this was going to be the normal run of sickness. Five hours later, I was convinced this was one nasty stomach bug that wasn’t going to let go so easily.

Everything stopped that day. I cancelled my dentist appointment to get a crown, which I have to say, I wasn’t too upset about. I put off plans to cook for the week (I had had plans to cook several days’ worth of meals), and we ordered out for lunch. My husband tookĀ JGrizz back and forth to church with him, as I’m usually the chauffeur, allowing my husband to prepare for his Wednesday night class. I asked someone else to recordĀ JGrizz in a drama performance; since, I couldn’t be there, and I called the choir director to notify him of my absence. Joey then chauffeured JGrizz back and forth to school the next two days, as well as, helped him to study for tests and confirmed homework was done, and he taxied him to other events and church for the weekend, all the things which I am very accustomed to doing in my day to day routine.

All day Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, and Saturday, I was totally focused on taking care of JMan, tending to his needs, praying, refilling water bottles and cleaning up behind him, all the while, hoping and praying no one else would get sick. (This was a very nasty bug!!) My routine became matched with his, sleeping when he slept and waking when he awoke; otherwise, I stumbled around trying to catch up on the lost sleep, which, I basically did anyway during those hours. It’s never easy sleeping when you’re baby’s sick! I stayed huddled up with him in that guest room for four days. Nothing else mattered except getting him well.

Due to both my boys and my husband depending on me for different things day to day, I had to fight internally with my own mother and wife instincts throughout that time. I felt obligated and needed to tend to JMan’s needs, while I also battled guilt over not being able to be there for our oldest son’s youth competitions that weekend and leaving all the burden on my husband to make sure they were both taken care of and arrived at all the places at which they needed to be for the total of five days (by the time JMan really got well).

It made me think of families whose babies have gone through trauma, are experiencing a terminal illness, or even have a long-term sickness that maybe can’t be diagnosed. How do they function over time? How do they manage their homes, their lives, their personal needs? This realization came to me: they find a “new normal.” Yes, that’s the only thing you can do when your loved one is sick, and they need you. All the other things in life, those thingsĀ which you thought were of such importance, just seem to fade away. The focus becomes crystal clear: the well being of your child.

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Those days gave me a new perspective. A perspective that, I’m sure, was really always there. It wasn’t the first time our little man had been sick; however, it was the first time he’d been this sick. It was, also, the first time in a long time, I suppose, I stood back and thought of more than just getting through the moments of sickness and maybe thought of more than just the sickness of my own child. It reminded me that time seems to stand still when you least expect it. It reminded me, as I often encourage others to do, to make sure I’m living life to the fullest, and cherishing those with whomĀ I’m living and sharing thisĀ life.Ā For, none of us know what tomorrow might bring, and what a pitiful state we will be in if we only realize tomorrow what we missed out on today!

So, can I encourage you today? Take time for those you love, not just in the tough moments, but in the good moments as well. Step back and see those you love in the moments right where they are. Cherish them. Hold them. Love them. Step back and take a look around. Take notice of who is there, where you are, and where you are going together. When we’re able to step back and see the bigger picture, we’re apt to learn so much more!

You set the tone, Momma!

If you’re a momma or one day hope to be, I hope you will listen to what I have to give.
You can make or break that home in which you live.
You have the power to make it cheery or make it sad.
You have the power to make it good or make it bad.

You see, we women set the tone for how our families will respond.
We set the stage for this life to be and how each day will dawn.
If we rant and rave, tap our feet, cross our arms and glare, they see us.
They notice when we reach out a hand to comfort, pause for an embrace, or just give a little wink and a smile…and even if we allow our mouths to cuss.

Our children have to make choices, and yes, our husband is accountable for what they allow near.
But mark my word, how we act and react can make or break the atmosphere.
How we speak to those we love can wound or heal their hearts.
How we look at those whose lives we touch can be changed or broken apart.

So, be careful, Momma, what you say.
Choose your words with grace today.
Be careful, Momma, what you do.
Choose your actions by what you want to keep
Rather than by what you want to loose.

Be YOU and Nobody Else!

As I sat in a room full of women that night, I looked around and saw those with whom I’ve been friends for years, those whom I’ve known for only a short while, and those whom I had just met this very night. All different, yet, very much the same. We’re all in this world, struggling to survive.

I had watched a comical video on Facebook earlier in the day about different mom-types, and how we tend to compete over whose parenting methods are better and whose are just terrible; yet, when it comes to a possible danger being threatened in the life of a child, we will all pitch in to save that one child, no matter whose it is nor what we feel toward that one mother. I guess, this, coupled with my own beliefs, is why I was prepared when the conversation at the table turned toward parenting styles and opinions on how a child should be raised.

It actually was a very good conversation, and, thankfully, at this table, everyone was gracious in their answers to one another, ever how differing they were… There was one mom who had been, and still is, a full time bank employee. There was one stay-at-home mom who plans to completely homeschool when her three children become of age, another who is at home, with her toddler, right now but plans to return to college soon. One was a full time mom of a teen and elementary age boys, one was a young grandmother who works full time, yet, keeps her grandkids as much as she can. Another was a missionary’s wife who hopes to return to the missions field soon with her three year old and baby on the way, and another was a retired grandma who gets to see her grandchildren often but maybe not as much as she’d like. The rest of the 25-member group was just as diverse as this list.

Each one of them had different pregnancy stories, nursing methods and lengths of time, sleeping procedures (to sleep with parents or not), schooling options and stay home or work full-time choices. We all are as different as the day is to night; yet, we all agreed that there’s not a right and wrong method to raise and nurture your children. Those who adhere to The Word of God for their lives, yes, there are some right and wrongs that we must chose; however, when it comes to the other “surface” issues, we each agreed, “You must find what works best for your family! … What works beautifully for my family may bring total havoc to yours! … Always be open to advice, but never place unnecessary expectations upon yourself to live up to someone else’s methods and standards for your family.”

This is so very true! Never allow someone else to dominate your parenting landscape. Never place another family high on a pedestal and believe if you can only follow their formula to a “T,” then, your family will turn out perfect overnight, and you’ll never have worries again. No, life just doesn’t happen that way. Life is life, and people are people. There is no “magic formula” which makes babies stop crying, children to stop fighting and teens to always choose the right answers. No, this is a journey, and we all must travel it. Each of us are very different, made individually unique by the Master of the Universe. He made us each as diverse as the stars that shine above us.

So, follow your dreams. Dream for your family. Seek His ways, gain wisdom from others and learn what works best for your family. Train up those babies, and let them spread their wings and fly. You can do this! You were called to be… YOU!! You are beautifully and wonderfully made!

Grade for Color

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Do you grade a Kindergartener on their ability to color within the lines? Do you grade a toddler on his ability to walk around with never falling? How about a young teen in her ability to drive a car through a busy street for the first time?

If you are a reasonable human being, the answer to these questions would definitely be, “NO!” If we, who are so imperfect, don’t expect perfection from our children, who are so young and just learning, why would we believe God would expect perfection from us??

Do you realize He is the Creator of the universe? He spoke, and there was light! He took the stars in His hands, as if they were tiny grains of sand, and flung them across the heavenlies. He tells this one to go, and he goes, and He tells this one to stay, and He stays. He is infinite. He is majestic. He is God, and He loves us.

We were created by an infinite Being. We are mortal. We are imperfect. We are flawed. We are human; yet, He loves us. He loves us with a love thatĀ our tiny minds can’t possibly understand. He loves us beyond measure. He loves us without condition. He loves us beyond what we can even fathom. If this kind of God can love us through our humanness, and we can love our children beyond their “child-ness,” how can we ever believe we must become more for Him to love us more?

Yet, we do. Too often, we place expectations upon ourselves to be more, to do more, to say more,Ā thinking it will makeĀ Him love us more. When we falter and when we fail, we then walk around in constant condemnation, believing, somehow, that He now loves us less. His love is not like that. He sent His only Son to die for us while we were still sinners! He loves us more than we could ever imagine trying to love our own children! He loves us more than we love ourselves! His love is unconditional, immeasurable and infallible, and He offers it freely to us, without condition.

All we are required to do is receive it. All we have to do is believe. If you had a package on your doorstep that contained all the riches of the world, or all the desires of your heart, wouldn’t you run to find it? Wouldn’t you rush to open it? Yet, often, we hesitate with the very One who gave us this breath we breathe. We pause to accept the very Life He freelyĀ offers.

I encourage you today, don’t stop coloring your beautiful picture, this picture called life, in fear of the “teacher.” Don’t stop coloring in fear of failure. Color on, my friend, and remember, your Heavenly Father loves you. He doesn’t hate you. He’s not going to tear up your beautiful masterpiece, because you fall outside the lines a little. He’s not going to yell at you, because your bold marks reach the edge of the page. He will guide you to a better way. He will let you grow, and He will help you to learn His ways. He will convict your heart of the error, but He will not condemn you for your mistake.Ā He will direct you to a better path, and His love will convince you of the needed change. His grace will draw you a new picture, and His mercy will help toĀ fill in the gaps. When you truly see Him, you will never be the same.

“The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.” Lamentations 3:22-23

Have and Hold Forever

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I’m not sure a mother’s heart ever lets go of her child, neither through age nor death.Ā  That mother’s love is tangled up with that child from the moment she realizes she’s pregnant, or at least, very quickly thereafter, and it seems to remain a tangled mess for the rest of her life!

Now, I know, I speak as a mom who deeply loves and adores her children. Some moms are just too wounded to see past their pain, and others are so angry, they can’t see beyond the rage to the tender hearts within their grasp. Still others, theyĀ have become so narcissistic, they cannot see anything but their own ambitions and desires; so, please, know that my reference in this post has nothing to do withĀ those types of mothers. Those moms need some desperate help before they destroy the precious seed which they have been given to nurture and provide sweet tender care for the next 18-20 years of their life. No, I’ll be referring to the moms out there, who, regardless of their human faults and failures, seek to do right by their child and work hard to imagine for, provide for and propel that child into greatness beyond what she, personally, might have been.

When you’re this kind of mother, you just want to hug them and hold them forever. You want to shelter that little heart from ever feeling any brokenness, pain and even disappointment. You want to protect that small mind from any wayward thought, evil deed or malice intent. You want to shield those tiny little eyes from all the sin, violence and everything not pleasant. You want to provide a refuge, a safe haven in which they can rest for the entirety of their life.

Yet, just as an eagle will cripple her eaglet if she refuses to start pulling the feathers from the nest, each of us will fatally cripple our children if we refuse to let them grow, learn, and yes, even experience pain and disappointment from time to time. We must allow them to spread their wings and learn to fly, or they will remain paralyzed in that nest for the rest of their lives, only to crawl to a miserable death, a death of dreams, opportunities, potential and life itself. We must allow them to fly!

Flight can be such a scary thing, especially when they are so young, so inexperienced, so fragile. Flight can challenge them to dream, to push beyond the limits, to test their own abilities. Have you ever watched a baby barnacle goose learn to fly? If not, you should look it up sometime (you can click hereto watch). …well, maybe, if you have the heart for it. I almost didn’t.
[*please note: this is a very intense, heart-wrenching, yet, very real, short film.]

The first time I saw this video, I almost busted into tears! The tiny, downy-feathered gosling was far up in the nest, high above the rocky cliffs below. It was several hundred feet up, I’m sure. He climbs out of the nest and begins to fall. I almost stuck my hands out, trying to catch him, before I remembered it was simply a video, and there was nothing I could do. The baby keeps falling and falling, crying out the whole time; then, he “bumps” the rocks on his way down. Then he bumps it again and again. Then he smacks the rocks at the very bottom. I was sure the little precious thing was dead! After he laid there a few seconds, I felt certain he was a goner.

Tears rolled down my cheeks as, I truly believed, I had just witnessed the death of this barnacle gosling. I began to wonder what idiot had made this video with no prior warning for viewers like me! To my surprise and relief, the parents waddled over to where the baby was and waited patiently as the little guy slowly lifted his head and waddled up to them for comfort and moral support. I could not believe he had made it!

Has parenting ever felt like this? If you haven’t experienced this type of worry, frustration and fear, just hold on, and keep on living. The time may come when your little one jumps out of that nest and “plummets” to the bottom of the ravine! You may have to watch them as they “free fall” through their temptations and vices, seeming to race to certain death. If you will cover them in sincere prayer, now and throughout it all, God will hear your cry. If you will train them up now in the faith of God, they will make it!

Depending on their personal venture, their own response to it, and their surrender to God throughout it, they may come through with a few bumps, bruises and , yes, maybe even scars, but they will survive. If they don’t have the grace of God to cushion their fall, the sharp and jagged rock of life will surely damage them beyond repair. Yet, if they have the Word of truth, the sword of the Spirit, and the shield of faith, they can face whatever may come, and God will protect them. He is the best covering they can have!

As a protective mother, I’d prefer they never had to make that leap. As loving moms, we’d prefer that child to just stay safe and secure within our grasps so that no harm or danger ever come near them. Yet, we know if we continue to shelter them through the hardships of life, it doesn’t make them stronger. It only weakens them for the journey that, one day, they will be traveling apart from us.

They need the challenge. They need the flight training, and they need the faith to soar. It is our job to instill within them the knowledge and understanding of that faith. It is our responsibility to help them see the great big world before them and know the pitfalls that will try to trap them. It is our commission to pray endlessly for their journey and for their flight. It is our right to shelter, protect, love and support them until the time comes that they must fly, but fly they must. If they don’t, they will die. Their dreams will die, and their destiny will be lost.

So, go ahead, momma. Hold that baby tight. Strengthen his wings and help him to stand. Deepen her faith and teach her to flap those wings, preparing for flight. When the time is right, they will soar to new heights. They will fly to distant lands, and they will take a part of you with them as you stand there holding a piece of their heart within your hands.

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