depression

The Sound of a Lonely Heart

/ The WheatandTares / 4 Comments

Do you hear it?

The steady buh-bump of a heartbeat

It’s almost monotonous as it beats on and on

Sometimes, it will jump ahead and run a race for a bit

Yet, usually it’s just the faithful buh-dump that continues to march along.

All by itself

Do you hear it?

Late at night, you can hear its inner groan

As the sighs are taken and the tears are falling

Sometimes, the moan becomes a wail as eyes burst forth with life

Yet, usually it’s just the haunting sound of the broken beats

Do you hear it?

The silence is deafening, as there are no words to fix the dull aching thuds

Sometimes, the echo of the night is all that can be heard through the suffocating stillness

Yet, usually it’s just the steadfast weeping of a lonely heart.

Penned – MG – 1/19/22

Tell Somebody

/ The WheatandTares / 11 Comments

I love this little conversation between Pooh and Piglet. It speaks volumes on so many levels. It speaks to both the depressed and the friends of those who may be struggling.

It truly breaks my heart when I hear of a person who remains in depression, or due to that depression, a person who has committed suicide, and in the current cultural push of awareness, we hear so many blogs, posts and notices that we should check on our friends, we should reach out, and we should be there for those suffering. Yes, I wholeheartedly agree, and I believe the awareness should be alive and well. However, what I see happening in this push, and what I wish would also be pushed at the same heightened state, is those who are struggling desperately need to speak up just as much as friends need to be aware!

I love what Pooh says to Piglet, he had a difficult day, but he didn’t really want to talk about it. Too often, it seems the focus of awareness is so pivoted on those left behind, but if we say anything directed toward the one who remained silent, then, we are relegated as being insensitive, cold and even cruel in our approach.

Yet, if I could intervene with this blame (and justification) game, I wish I could. Speaking truth into someone’s life, especially, someone who is in trouble and may even become dangerous to themselves or someone else, is not being cruel and heartless. Sometimes, it can be a lifesaver!

If I am standing in the street, and a Mack truck is flying down the road, and I am just too sad, too depressed or even too blind to see it, please, someone scream, yell, or run over to me and yank me out of that street!! Because sometimes, the best thing for a person is not a coddling and pampering but a spoken word of truth that helps to bring them back to reality.

With or Without Hope

/ The WheatandTares

I’ve read several posts lately from those who are grieving and who are lonely. I’ve been there, in that lonely place, struggling to survive the pain…

These posts make my heart sad, not because the bloggers are heartbroken or grief-stricken, but because so many  grieve with no hope. For without hope, we have no purpose in the pain. We have no future beyond the pain. Without hope, it is all just meaningless and worthless. Without hope, life doesn’t seem worth living.

Yet, where there is hope, there is life beyond the pain. There is a purpose through the pain, and there is some semblance of meaning that we can try to grasp. There is something more that is worth holding onto.

It doesn’t mean we will never experience the pain, only that, deep down, we have a knowing that we will live BEYOND the pain, because there is something MORE for which to live.

Hope is a powerful thing. Without it, life is just a survival game.

Hope causes our spirit to fight. Hope causes our mind not to give up. Hope causes our body to push forward behind normal limits.  Hope causes us to thrive.

…Thriving is so much more fun than simply surviving.


“And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes; there shall be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying. There shall be no more pain, for the former things have passed away.” Revelation 21:4

Deep Dark Tunnel

/ The WheatandTares / 2 Comments

It’s a deep, dark tunnel 

I am forced to walk through to funnel. 

The scars are deep, those it requires. 

The voices are strong, never tiring in the mire. 

The path is paved with the broken and the destroyed. 

Their demise is how I must fill the void. 

Learn from their mistakes. Don’t make it twice. 

Turn away from my heart’s wicked, wicked vice. 

It’s scary. It’s sad. It’s simply a lie. 

Yet, there’s a light guaranteed on the other side. 

There is a promise, a hope, a future. 

If I can just find the strength and energy to endure. 

We’re not here long, and this is simply a test. 

If I can just keep my sight focused on Him and not the rest. 

I will find all the peace and belonging I hope for. 

All I must do is just open the door. 
The path is loneliness.

 The destination is depression. 
Those who don’t struggle never quite understand the battle. 

Those who battle without hope can never see beyond the rattle. 

Those who find Hope, find a new tomorrow. 

This is a Hope that doesn’t just have to be borrowed. 

This is the Only One who gives true Hope and Life. 

He is the answer. Will you let Him take away your strife? 

He can help you. He came here just for you. 

He longs to hold you, to heal you,to love you through and through. 

All you have to do is see, believe and trust. 

All you have to do is say His name, and your hope will never rust. 

Penned – MG – 12/16/15

The Will

/ The WheatandTares

     An empty daughter of depression, with a strong temper and a determined will, she traveled all her life in search of her true inheritance.  She had lost her mother as an infant, and her father at the age of seven.  Somehow, she fell through the cracks of the state system, and she grew up on the rough side of town, going from place to place, one gang to another just to survive.  She would steal for them, make distractions for them, and even turn tricks for them; anything they told her, she would do. This lifestyle made her tough, a rebel from the darker side of town; yet, she hated this life.  She knew there had to be more.  She wanted a purpose in her life, a reason to love, a reason to hate, a reason to live.

     She finally left her gang, at the age of seventeen, determined to find a better place and a new life for herself.  She remembered her father telling her stories of his past and of her mother. He had told her of a rich heritage, lots of wealth and success; however, each of them had been disowned, because they were determined to marry outside the families’ prestigious arrangements. The young girl thought, maybe, perhaps, a chance meeting would make the difference for her………

 

Penned – MG – began 1/15/90