Sometimes, we think we’ve overcome certain fears, and later on, we realize we have to face those fears once again. So, I’m going to share a time when I simply overcame FEAR itself…
It was the summer of 1993, when I had returned home from college. My parents had just moved to the mountains of East Tennessee a few years before, and my room was now a “studio/attic” room on the top floor of their house. I began waking up in the middle of the night with a paralyzing fear. There was a large, double window on one end of the room, the wall I was facing when I awoke each time, and it seemed as if two great big eyes were staring at me. I know, I know, for some this might sound like it is being written right out of one of those cheesy 1970s cheap horror flicks. However, I am here to tell you, I was petrified. I had always battled fear as a child and young adult, but this fear was so debilitating, so overwhelming, I would just lie there in the bed, unable to move, speak or even hardly blink.
This went on for about 2-3 weeks, and the consuming fear of falling asleep was causing me to stay up till the wee hours of the morning, only to fall asleep exhausted and awake to the paralyzing fear just an hour or two later. My mom would just tell me to pray, as I didn’t really give her much detail of what I was going through. The books I’d read would advise me on all kinds of nightly routines to combat the fears and prepare my body for sleep, and the soft instrumental music I’d play seemed to help as I drifted off to sleep but would be off by the middle of the night (remember, this is the early 90s. I didn’t own a iPhone with a playlist built in. 😉 ) It seemed nothing was helping to change this terrible cycle of sleep and fear into which I had fallen. About 3 weeks into this “rollercoaster ride,” I was talking to a former pastor’s wife and describing to her what was going on. She very gently encouraged me to read the Bible more, concentrating on verses dealing with trusting God, combating fear and standing on the promises of God. She encouraged me to memorize one Scripture, 1 Timothy 2:7…
ptl2010.com
She, also, told me to just speak His name. I asked her, “What if I can’t speak His Name?” For, I had not been able to call out to my parents during those times or speak a word of anything. She said, “Then, you just whisper it, and if you can’t whisper it, you close your eyes and think His name in your head until you can.” Ok, now that I was armed with “weaponry,” I was miraculously healed that night from all my paralyzing fears, right?? Unfortunately, I have to say, “NO!” That night, when I was awoken once more by that debilitating fear, I started trying to quote the Scripture that I had not yet fully memorized, this all in my mind, of course. (Remember, I couldn’t speak, because the fear was so great.)
All I could remember was, “God…isn’t…fear.” Oh yeah, that’s just great! How can I battle this fear when I can’t even think of a Scripture to quote in my mind? Then I remembered my pastor’s wife, her sweet voice telling me, “Just say His name.” So, I did. I said, “Jesus” inside my head just as loud as my mind would scream it. I screamed it over and over again, and evidently, I drifted off to sleep after about 30+ repeats. This rolled on for about a week before I was able to whisper His name and the Scripture I was memorizing. After about 2 1/2 weeks, I was speaking this Scripture each time I awoke, speaking the name of Jesus, and very peacefully, drifting back to sleep.
After 6-8 weeks, from the very beginning, I no longer had these “night terrors,” as I now call them. I cannot tell you why I had such a battle, and I cannot answer the questions as to why God didn’t just instantaneously and miraculously heal me from that paralyzing fear; however, I can tell you this, I emerged from that period in my life with a stronger faith and trust in my God. I can tell you that I have not dealt with that type of ‘midnight fear’ again. I can also tell you that I have been able to use this story, over the years, to help people who have battled with a spirit of fear.
I have found that, throughout my life, sometimes, God doesn’t answer our prayers exactly the way we want Him to, but if we will allow Him to and trust Him to, He will answer them exactly when and how He needs to in order to fulfill His glory in our lives.
I do hope this story will encourage someone out there who has battled or is battling fear. He is a good God, and He can help you. ❤
*This is a song set in a Christmas setting, but it is a wonderful reminder to FEAR NOT… I hope you enjoy…
*I do not own any part of this song, these lyrics or this video. Copied straight from YouTube. Song by Travis Cotrell.
PS. Happy Valentine’s Day!! Love the one you’re with, and share your love with those around you!
When we have to wait on the Lord to answer a prayer, it can often be a grueling process. I’m not talking about those prayers that we just think He should answer, because it seems like a good idea, or because we wish things could be a little more comfortable and the answer would make it so. I’m talking about those prayers when we are desperate for the answer we are praying, life and death situations, like when the circumstances are so dire, that if He doesn’t come through, life will seriously be altered. Those are the moments when “waiting on the Lord” can become incredibly difficult.
When we have to wait and wonder if His answer might be “no” or when we have to wait and wonder if He will answer at all, those are the days when waiting can feel as if you’re watching the earth in orbit around the sun in real time, and you’re beginning to question if it will even stay constant and true. These are the occasions when, if we are truly honest with ourselves and with God, we get a little impatient with Him. We get a little testy in our responses, and we might even start having doubts of His abilities or His willingness to follow through with the promises from His Word.
…Don’t look at me that way, if you haven’t been there, then keep on living, ‘cuz either you’re just a mountain of perfected faith, bless your perfect heart, or you haven’t faced the dire straights in this faith living quite yet. I promise you, if you are human, you will face a moment of life and death of a loved one, or you will face circumstances, at some point, that beyond your control or even ability to understand, and there will be an instance when you will face that wall of doubt within your heart and mind. That is when you will have to decide whether you truly believe He is God, and He knows best. In that space of time, you will decide to wait on Him or worry and fret, trying to make the perfect happen within your own strength and carnal knowledge.
Can I tell you? I have found Him to be true time and time again. When you place your worries, fears and doubts right back into His hands and you begin to wait on Him, He will give you rest. He will give you peace. He will give you strength. He never ever fails! He is faithful, and He is true! He is trustworthy, and He is able to carry us through whatever difficulty we might face. So, I encourage you today. Wait upon Him. Find your rest in Him, for He will do as He said He would do. He will carry you through.
“But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength;
To share a flaw, my mind is immediately drawn to how jacked up my heart can be. My flesh is ugly. It is unruly, untempered and unkind. It takes a daily crucifixion for it to be maintained within my being. It takes a conscientious rebuking every single time this old flesh wants to rebel to keep it in check. If I allow it any leeway, it will overrule whatever and whenever it can…
So God, always guide and direct my deceptive heart. Never let me convince myself that my motives can somehow be pure and innocent. You judge my heart. You refine it. You transform it to be more like Your precious Son. ❤
The concept of Consumer vs. Producer might sound a little odd when equating with God; however, just stick with me for a moment while I grasp your attention, please…
A producer is someone who makes something for the good of another. A producer has a dream or a vision which they work toward. A producer is giving out, not taking, expending or exhausting the efforts of another. Producers have a passion for bringing forth, giving birth or putting together something for the well being of another.
A consumer is someone who takes something for the good of oneself. A consumer may not have a dream or a vision, they simply have a craving and desire for more of what they have. A consumer is taking in, not building, developing or yielding fruit. Consumers have a passion for engrossing, absorbing and even devouring what they have in front of them for the well being of themselves, sometimes, even to the detriment of another.
When it comes to our relationship with God, we can never out give or over produce what He has to supply for our lives. We can never pour out more than He can pour in; however, we can be all consuming of His goodness to the point of becoming “fat and happy” on the blessings of God, never giving to another, never reaching and never reproducing what we have found.
We must have a passion for reaching this world for Christ. We must have a desire to give to others the love and goodness we have found in Christ. We must have a vision to reproduce and give away this hope that only God can bring. When building His Kingdom becomes our goal, that is when we become producers for His glory.
So, I ask you which are you, a Consumer or a Producer?
To share something beautiful, I hesitate to pick just one. There are so many from which to choose…people, places, things, animals, sceneries, and so much more. Yet, as the days grow older within my own heart and mind, I find the most beautiful things in this life are, often, hard to capture in a photograph or write down in letters and words. The most beautiful things I have found to be true are
FAITH HOPE LOVE FRIENDSHIP GRATITUDE HUMILITY ENCOURAGEMENT
Words and actions that can’t quite be grasped in a frame or held in a hand but can always be seen by the heart and heard by the soul…
Are you one of those whose voice mailbox is always full? People call your number only to receive the automated voice which says, “I’m sorry the voice mailbox is full and cannot receive any more messages.” I know, those of you who know me personally are chuckling right about now. Sometimes I am the world’s worst about cleaning out my mailbox. (#sorrynotsorry). My problem is being a keeper of too many memories, but that’s another story for another day…
Regardless of the reasons for a full voicemail, having one full inhibits a new message from getting through. Having a full mailbox causes a backup, a blockage, a hindrance of something new or something important being delivered to you. People have to recall, send a text or try to remember to give you the message upon the next time seeing you. This method isn’t very helpful, and it can definitely pose a problem in the case of an emergency or an important moment of contact when missed.
This made me start thinking of when God is trying to get “a message” to us. Sometimes, our minds are full of so much clutter that we can’t hear truth. The volume in our head is too loud. Our thoughts overrun whatever message He is trying to send, because we never shut them off. We never make time to just be still and listen.
Sometimes, our imagination is at such a high that it causes the volume in our head to be too low. Our daydreaming has become so unruly that we constantly live in a “happy place of nothingness,” and we miss His message, because we’re not connected to the moment when He speaks. We miss an opportunity, a person of influence or a moment of impact, because we are never present where we are.
I don’t know about you, but I want God to be able to get through to me at anytime, night or day. I want to be so in tune to His voice that no matter what is going on, where I am, or who I am with, He is able to speak, and I immediately hear. I want to be free from clutter, and I want to be living in each moment of every day, never leaving anything to chance.
Lord, help me to clean up my “mailbox”; so, I can clearly hear Your voice. Help me to turn the volume down in my head when it gets too loud by walking out into the woods or standing beside a waterfall to remind me of who You are and who I am not. Help me to turn up the volume in my head when I am distracted by the void of nothingness. Always remind me to live fully in every moment You give me, for I never know when it might be the last for me or someone I love. Let my life be of impact to those around me, because I am in tune with You, and I know when You speak.
To share a scar today, I am going to share a bit of poetry…
This scar will be with me for life. As a child, I hated this mark upon my skin. I thought of it as a deformity, a nuisance and an intrusion to what and whom I believed I could have been without it. Now that I am older, even as the skin tucks and pulls at the place of injury, I find myself thanking my God for saving my life on that dreadful night.
In driving school, you must choose to hit the brake or accelerator depending on where you need to go and how fast you need to get there. You hit the brake to avoid mishaps, accidents, or when you are feeling unsure, and you need to create a little space and time to think and consider your next move. You hit the accelerator when you want to get somewhere a little faster or when you are feeling more confident in your position and the vehicle which you are driving.
In our relationship with God, we have these same choices. When He gives direction, we can push the accelerator and “ride like the wind,” totally depending on His leading. We can hit the brakes, believing we know better or just allowing our fears and doubts to override. When God says, “It’s not time,” we have the choice to hit the gas or slam the brakes, choosing to allow Him to guide or our own wisdom to rule the day.
In every moment and at every command, we have a choice to remain in the car behind the wheel, with God as our guide, or to get out of the car and leave the path when times get too tough. It is all in our choosing, but if we will stay closer to His hand and listen more closely to His voice our choices can render better results. If we will seek His understanding rather than our own, our end destination will be less hazardous and more beneficial.
So, ask yourself today, “Who will be my guide? … To whom will I listen and obey? … To whom will I surrender my will and my way?”
For so many, this can be a scary word. This simple word can be bring up memories filled with disappointment, heartache and even anger and despair. This word can cause a person to scowl, cry and even turn away. Why does this word cause such trepidation?
I’m not sure I can speak for every soul that might read this, but I can definitely answer for myself… Trust can be the one thing that, when placed in a human being, can be built up like a mighty tower, only to be torn down in the blink of an eye. It is the one word that, when placed in the hands of another, can be cradled and cared for like a child or can be dashed against the rocks of life without a second thought or concern.
Trust can be placed by a loving child into the neglectful grasp of an adult, and that adult can be reckless, rebellious. Thinking only of themselves, they carry on, never considering the heart of that child , they never realize their waywardness has left irreparable damage behind. That child can be scarred for life, being conditioned by broken promises and ill spoken words, never recognizing there is a better way.
Trust can be planted in the fist of a broken love, destined for failure, yet having faith that this time might be different. Being fleshly and human, they carry on, never acknowledging the wounds, the actions and glances that bring more pain. That love can be scarred for life, being conditioned by broken promises and over zealous musings of commitment, never recognizing there is a better way.
Complete TRUST should always be placed in the hands of the One who is forever faithful and true. When our trust is in Him, it does not mean people will never let us down. It doesn’t mean all things are made new, and all of a sudden, we live in a perfect world full of trustworthy friends and foes. However, when our trust is in Him alone, His love and faithfulness shields our soul from the death of disappointment and pain. For His grace and mercy brings life, love and hope to TRUST once again.
There was a girl who got through the day with routines, laughter. and some memes...chores, laughs, smiles, and some cats...food, naps, plus coffee too...then yoga for the win... a warm bath, some books, and You Tube📺-hdtj💜
My journey didn’t stop with mere time travel or writing; it led me to become one of the most sought-after empaths, a soulful psychic who reads the hidden depths of the human spirit. I’ve been blessed—or perhaps burdened—with an ability that allows me to feel the emotions of people from every corner of time.
I am a licensed psychologist based in Greece. My love for housekeeping has inspired me to create this blog about home management and family relationships. I hope you enjoy reading as much as I enjoyed writing!
Dedicated to movie nerdom, nostalgia, and escape. In the late 90s, I worked at Blockbuster Video where they let me take home two free movies a day. I caught up on the classics and reviewed theatrical releases for Denver 'burbs newspapers and magazines. Today, while raising two young, beautiful daughters with my amazing wife, I look forward to anything rated R and not Bluey. Comments and dialogue encouraged!
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