family

Generational Fade

/ The WheatandTares

The natural progression from generation to generation is a proven fact.

What one generation places value in, their children rise to place more value in.

Or they revolt and rebel against that value.

Typically, there’s not a lot of gray area found.

So, if you’re a parent and you place a high value on education, often your children will do the same.

If your parents were hyped about ballgames and competitive sports, more often than not, you will do the same.

If you as a parent struggle to hold down a job throughout their formative years, many times, your children will, too.

If your parents weren’t super committed to God, a relationship with Him may not even be on your radar, or it may be seen as a dismissive once-a-year-whether-I-need-it-or-not event.

It’s truly the way of human nature. If you’re conditioned in one way throughout your childhood years, you’ll walk in those footsteps paved for you.

To walk a different path, you will literally have to fight and claw to be different.

This has been proven for generations. Look at abuse statistics, divorce patterns, and even educational journeys from one generation to the next. It is what it is.

So, if you want your children to be what I would call, “God chasers,” those kind of people who seek Him with all their hearts and work diligently to not only know Him and follow His will for their lives but also who live intentionally to share His love with others, this begins now, with you.

But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.

Matthew 6:33

Train up a child in the way he should go, And when he is old he will not depart from it.

Proverbs 22:6

Small Southern Town

/ The WheatandTares / 4 Comments

What do you love about where you live?

I love where I live because it’s beautiful, quaint, and comfortable. It’s also filled you all kinds of options. I’ve always been a “small town girl,” and while growing up, I always thought I’d live in the same small town forever, raising my kids and living in a “little white house with a little white picket fence.”

Well, God kinda had different plans for me. Since moving from my home town, I’ve lived in 2 states, 5 towns, and 1 city. I’ve gone to 3 schools, lived in 12 houses, and have been actively involved in 6 churches. And 3 of those towns have been while raising our sons. But each have been small towns, at least in the scale of metropolitan areas.

And truthfully, I’ve loved every town I’ve lived in. That’s just being content in where you are and who you’re with, but that’s another blog for another day.

So, you ask why I love where I live… it’s a small town that really has grown quite a bit since we moved here. However, we live on the outskirts of town, and we don’t normally deal with the busier side. Our city officials have taken great care to beautify the downtown, moderate what comes in and out, and worked hard to keep that “small town feel” to the area.

I love our church, the people, and the atmosphere of community and family. I love our neighborhood that is well kept, and the people are always friendly. I love that we’re located just minutes from the lake, a few more minutes from the mountains, and less than an hour from a major city. So, you can be anywhere you want within a short amount of time. And I love that we live in an area where people still long for togetherness and a sense of camaraderie among the (smaller) masses.

And I believe that’s what builds love for where you live. When it’s all about you and yours and competition, stress, strife, and success, I believe you loose that sense of community and forsake care and compassion for cutthroat self ambition and ego.

You don’t have to live in a small town to achieve this, but I think it helps. However, I’ve had friends who live living in a big city, and they have still accomplished this by creating a community of family, whether it be in their neighborhoods, churches, or workplace. Where it is doesn’t matter as much as with whom it is. If you are gathered together with likeminded people, accomplishing a common goal for a greater purpose, that sense of family and belonging will naturally arise.

So, what about you? What do you love about where you live?

Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep. Be of the same mind toward one another. Do not set your mind on high things, but associate with the humble. Do not be wise in your own opinion. Repay no one evil for evil. Have regard for good things in the sight of all men. If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men.

Romans 12:15-18

Silly Saturday

/ The WheatandTares / 1 Comment

For all those getting ready for those holiday family gatherings that are maybe just a little dysfunctional… or a lot! 😳🤣

Silly Saturday

/ The WheatandTares / 2 Comments
Family dynamics for the holiday weekend? 🤣

Funny Friday

/ The WheatandTares
No words needed

Are you recouping and regrouping from the Thanksgiving holidays? 😂

Sweet or Salty, but Baked All the Same

/ The WheatandTares / 4 Comments

What’s your favorite recipe?

When I think of my favorite receipts, I guess I have two that pops up in my mind immediately. I’ve made them both, but one is passed down, and one is my own. One is something I love to eat and reminisce of days gone by, and the other my whole family and I love to enjoy.

The first would be pecan balls made by my late grandmother. She passed along this recipes to me some years ago, and I’ve made them a handful of times. Mine are good, but hers seemed to have a little extra goodness mixed in. Maybe it was the extra love of those 94 year old hands…

The second would be my lasagna. My guys absolutely love this dish. I make it different than most would possibly because it has double the cheese and double the meat, no veggies, and only cottage cheese mixed with Parmesan (no ricotta). I make a big 9×13 pan, too. So, there’s quite a few leftovers. And I have found that lasagna tastes even better the next day!

Grasping at Heritage

/ The WheatandTares / 2 Comments

I recently lost my grandmother of 94 years, and I miss her so. She and I were a lot alike in so many ways, and often growing up, she was more like a mother to me than a grandmother.

She taught me how a young lady should carry herself and how to really love your man.

She taught me that a gentle word really can turn away wrath and a loving touch can bring harmony to a chaotic world.

She taught me how to be classy and be okay with tradition, religion and “the way things have always been.”

She taught me that you’re never too old to try new things, as she traveled to Jamaica in a missions trip at 80 years old.

She taught me that if you set your mind to it, you can accomplish just about anything, as she lived by herself for almost 20 years in a great big bay front property after my grandfather’s death.

And the most important thing she ever taught me was that a relationship with Jesus Christ and with the joy of the Lord being your strength, you can live out your days with laughter and peacefulness, no matter what the storms of life might bring.

I am thankful for the heritage she offered, and I will gladly pick up the mantle she left. She may not have always done everything right, and she’d have never wanted you to call her the picture of perfection.

But if I can live my life with as much dignity, class, integrity, charm, joy, love and peace as she had, I will call myself a blessed woman.

What heritage are you grasping hold of today?

Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. Honor her for all that her hands have done, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.

Proverbs 31:30-31

She is clothed with strength and dignity;
she can laugh at the days to come.

Proverbs 31:25

She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue. She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her:
“Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all.”

Proverbs 31:26-29

The Loves of My Life

/ The WheatandTares / 2 Comments

Who do you spend the most time with?

I spend the majority of my time with the loves of my life: my husband and our two sons.

We have the most fun together, either all together, individually, or even broken up into pairs.

We love to travel, or hike, or to take a road trip, or take a walk, or go shopping, or find a great restaurant, or maybe just sit for a spell, telling stories, pondering the mysteries of God, comparing notes on the Lord of the Rings, or simply hanging out doing nothing at all.

Just being together is what counts. And although, each of us are so very different from the other, we’ve always been a very tight knit family. But as they grow, those days are coming to change very soon.

And my heart gets a bit sad every time I think about it.

Yet, I know it is meant to be, and I know it’s bittersweet.

It is meant to be because every parent wants their child to always be moving forward in life, never crippled, never wounded, or just stuck in one phase.

It is meant to be because every parent wants to see their children flourish, succeed, and fly like an eagle into their adult life, learning, growing and soaring into his own.

It is exciting because we want them to be strong men, independent, and confident in who they each are called to be. We raised them this way, and they are boldly approaching the goal.

It is exciting because we want to see them explore and experience all the thrills, all the joys, we once did and so much more.

It is bittersweet because I know as these days draw closer, they will fly; they will flourish, and one day, they will find the girl of their dreams. Then, they will begin their own families, their own lives.

It is bittersweet because this mama’s heart will miss them so and long for one more hug, another spontaneous, late night chat, an unexpected trip to the store “just to get a few things” and have some extra individual time together.

It is heartwarming because as you realize they’ve got what it takes to make it, and not just to survive but to thrive, you realize they really did hear you. They really did receive.

It is heartwarming because you know the two of you, husband and wife, now will have a rediscovery of each other. You’ll have opportunities for time renewed that has been shared for decades, and now, it’s just the two of you.

Yes, it is meant to be, and it is bittersweet.

And yet, it is both exciting and heartwarming.

Change is coming, and it’s coming so fast.

It will be upon us before I am truly ready.

So for now, I will be present in the moment.

I will cherish the past and look expectantly toward the future.

But I will continue to savor my overspent time with my loves right here, right now.

And I will continue spending my most valuable moments with the loves of my life.

For this is where I long to be most, second only to being by my Savior’s side. But that story will be saved for another day’s writing…

Right now, I’m going to get back to where I love to spend most of my time…❤️

Coming Home

/ The WheatandTares / 8 Comments

Do you remember your favorite book from childhood?

My two favorite books from my childhood were Homecoming and Dicey’s Song by Cynthia Voigt. I had to choose two because these are a set, and well. I’m a bit indecisive.

These books captured my attention and took me away into a heartwarming, albeit sometimes heartbreaking, story about family.

Dicey is the main protagonist , and she is a beautiful young girl, not necessarily in appearance but rather in spirit. She and her three siblings are abandoned in a mall parking lot in Connecticut by their mother who has simply gone insane, and the novels follow the journey of their survival on foot and their surprise arrival at their grandmother’s rundown farm in Maryland.

I became lost in Dicey’s world, imagining I was a mixture of her spunk and tenacity along with a bit loner but very smart personality of her oldest younger brother. I loved every minute of these novels and even picked them up a few more times before the end of my school days.

Even as I reread some of the plot tonight to refresh my memory from all those many moons ago, I noticed there’s another several in the set. I may just have to pick a few back up and read a while…

A sweet and pretty realistic series to be enjoyed by one and all. If you’ve got some time over the summer and want to enjoy a little young adult reading, take a minute to check it out. You might just like it.

Find Your Tribe

/ The WheatandTares

It has been said that you are the average of your five closest friends…

So, whose mission are you on?

And what’s your average?

Not everyone you meet is going to stay with you on the journey.

And not everyone you want to stay will do so.

Some may not be able to handle your load.

Others may not be able to carry their own.

And still others just aren’t going the same way you are.

Don’t grow angry with them and don’t hold it against them.

And by no means, beg them to stay.

Just gently, say goodbye and let them go their way.

They weren’t meant to travel along.

For if you demand they come along or stay too long,

They will hurt you, or you will wound them,

Or others will become damaged in the process.

Just let go.

Release them to be free.

You will be amazed at the freedom you will find.

Even if you have to shed tears as you move forward.

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross,scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.

Hebrews 12:1-3

Fools give full vent to their rage,
but the wise bring calm in the end.

Proverbs 29:11