grief

Heavy Hearts

/ The WheatandTares / 4 Comments

I just heard from a friend that her mother has been diagnosed with cancer. This was just after texting a friend with encouragement after finding out the false charges they’ve been fighting have been solidified, and it’s become a political game to wipe her family out. That came just the day after i had read the obit of my sweet neighbor whose husband passed away last week. They were sweethearts.

All of this is in the midst of watching our friends in Ukraine fight for their lives while our world looks on without care. And I read a newsletter about the children in Africa who are living in refuge camps in the war torn areas of Bunia and the children rescued to an orphanage there whose parents have died in the war, all of them.

If I keep my eyes on the devastation, the heaviness of my heart would overtake my soul. But God…

Some people will stop reading right there.

They will simply brush this remark away because they don’t believe a true God could be good if all this heartache is in the world.

They will grow angry at these words because they don’t believe this God could be loving and kind if we still see war, destruction and starvation.

They will grow apathetic and turn aside because they don’t believe my God, or anyone else for that matter, is able to do anything of significance to change the brokenness in which we live.

But I have learned my God is able.

I have witnessed my God is faithful.

I have experienced my God’s transformation of so many circumstances where “impossible” was already in the headlines.

He doesn’t always perform the miracle as I thought should be.

He doesn’t always answer the prayer as I deemed should be answered.

And He doesn’t always bring resolution as I believed should be brought.

But I have always found Him to reveal Himself as God, nothing more, nothing less.

And that has always proven to be enough.

Because I am convinced He loves me.

And He loves you.

So, if you find yourself in my shoes today where your eyes are weary of the pain before you, and your ears are leery of what was heard yesterday, and your heart is heavy laden with the news you’ve received today, look up.

Look up to the One who can bring you peace within when the war rages outside.

Look up to the One who can bring strength when your body can withstand no more.

Look up to the One who can bring hope when all hope feels lost.

Now when these things begin to happen, lookup and lift up your heads, because your redemption draws near.”

Luke 21:28

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort those who are in any trouble, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.

2 Corinthians 1:3-4

Bring Beauty to the Thorns

/ The WheatandTares

This life can be like a cactus many times.

The pain, the hardships, the struggles, they can all feel like piercing thorns that stab and poke into your most vulnerable moments.

The difficulties, the mishaps and failures can become like so many briars and dry patches that never seem to end.

But if I could encourage you today…

If I could give you one thought…

Blossom amongst the thistles.

Flourish amongst the bramble.

Don’t allow your circumstances to steal your beauty.

Don’t allow the heartache and brokenness to squelch your lovely fragrance and striking brilliance.

Bloom until you thrive and show the world there’s still elegance despite afflictions.

The Spirit of the Lord God is upon Me,
Because the Lord has anointed Me
To preach good tidings to the poor;
He has sent Me to heal the brokenhearted,
To proclaim liberty to the captives,
And the opening of the prison to those who are bound;
To proclaim the acceptable year of the Lord,
And the day of vengeance of our God;
To comfort all who mourn,
To console those who mourn in Zion,
To give them beauty for ashes,
The oil of joy for mourning,
The garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; that they may be called trees of righteousness,
The planting of the Lord, that He may be glorified.”

Isaiah 61:1-3

Walking Through the Fire

/ The WheatandTares / 4 Comments

Talking with a friend the other day she said, “We’ve been walking through the fire together, haven’t we?” My first thought was my fire is a small kindled ember compared to her recent turmoil, but the statement brought with it two kindred hearts and souls.

A mentor of mine once said to me:

You always need someone ahead of you in the journey to help you navigate the next steps, as they’ve been there and can help to give wisdom, challenge, reproof, and strength.

You always need someone beside you on this passage of life to link arms with, to uplift, to cry together, and to fight together.

You always need someone coming behind you into whom you can pour love, encouragement, guidance, and provide some shelter from the storm.

If you find all three, you can count yourself blessed.

If you cherish and nurture all three, you will be a better person for it.

If you seek all three, you’ll find you will forget more about your own problems and become a wounded healer, helping others across the broken bridges and rocky roads of this life.

And you’ll be receiving healing, affirmation, and compassion in the meantime.

So that even if you’re walking through the fire, you have a sister (or brother, for you guys) spirit joined with you to share in the heat and pain.

I am eternally beholden to my fire walkers who are blazing the path before me, showing me it can be done.

I am so grateful for those who are fire starters for whom I am able to spread the ashes to give some respite.

And I’m especially thankful for those right now who’s feet are as scorched as mine.

Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.

Galatians 6:2

Fear not, for I have redeemed you;
I have called you by your name; You are Mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overflow you.
When you walk through the fire, you shall not be burned, Nor shall the flame scorch you. For I am the Lord your God,
The Holy One of Israel, your Savior;

Isaiah 43:1b-3

Grasping at Heritage

/ The WheatandTares / 2 Comments

I recently lost my grandmother of 94 years, and I miss her so. She and I were a lot alike in so many ways, and often growing up, she was more like a mother to me than a grandmother.

She taught me how a young lady should carry herself and how to really love your man.

She taught me that a gentle word really can turn away wrath and a loving touch can bring harmony to a chaotic world.

She taught me how to be classy and be okay with tradition, religion and “the way things have always been.”

She taught me that you’re never too old to try new things, as she traveled to Jamaica in a missions trip at 80 years old.

She taught me that if you set your mind to it, you can accomplish just about anything, as she lived by herself for almost 20 years in a great big bay front property after my grandfather’s death.

And the most important thing she ever taught me was that a relationship with Jesus Christ and with the joy of the Lord being your strength, you can live out your days with laughter and peacefulness, no matter what the storms of life might bring.

I am thankful for the heritage she offered, and I will gladly pick up the mantle she left. She may not have always done everything right, and she’d have never wanted you to call her the picture of perfection.

But if I can live my life with as much dignity, class, integrity, charm, joy, love and peace as she had, I will call myself a blessed woman.

What heritage are you grasping hold of today?

Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. Honor her for all that her hands have done, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.

Proverbs 31:30-31

She is clothed with strength and dignity;
she can laugh at the days to come.

Proverbs 31:25

She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue. She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her:
“Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all.”

Proverbs 31:26-29

Healing is Messy

/ The WheatandTares

Healing is never easy.

Healing is not for wimps.

Just as a broken bone takes time to mend, it takes time for a wounded heart to heal.

Really, more often than not, it takes longer for the heart to take the journey of reconciliation.

And sometimes, the healing, the mending, and the restoration of peace and sanity may come while reconciliation never does.

Forgiveness is for the heart to heal and for the soul to be freed.

Forgiveness may not bring the reconciliation that was once hoped for or demanded.

For some things can be so damaged, the body cannot be recovered.

For some things can be so destroyed, the explosion left nothing but the crater that had already been formed.

For some things can be lost forever.

Never demand harmony when you’ve caused the destruction.

Never demand compromise when you were the source of the wound.

These are hard words to receive and much harder ones to actually live out.

But we all live by grace, and by grace we go forward.

So, forgive again and again.

Repent as needed.

Heal over and over.

And leave the rest up to the Creator of your soul.

For He knows all, and He will bring healing that soothes the soul and brings redemption.

Heal me, O Lord, and I shall be healed; save me, and I shall be saved, for you are my praise.

Jeremiah 7:14

Behold, I will bring to it health and healing, and I will heal them and reveal to them abundance of prosperity and security.

Jeremiah 33:6

He who covers his sins will not prosper,
But whoever confesses and forsakes them will have mercy.

Proverbs 28:13

Grief All Around

/ The WheatandTares

Tonight, I wrote five sympathy cards to friends who have lost a loved one recently.

Three of these were within the same family, and they had personally lost 3 family members among them.

And this is just after losing a son/nephew last year and a few more members the year before.

Another couple has lost their brother, cousin, nephew, great grandmother and a distant relative, all within just months of each other.

Yes. Those are each one, a different person, and relationship with said friends.

A third family lost their son, just over thirty years of age. He lived in the Midwest, and they had to take a plane to get to him.

My husband and I received an added message tonight from an old friend who sorely misses his wife who died several years ago. He just wants to see her again.

My family is also in this list of losses, as my own grandmother passed just weeks ago.

If I only looked at all these losses, my heart would be overwhelmed.

If I only looked at the tears, the weight inside would be unbearable.

Grief is hard.

Grief is exhausting.

Grief can be all consuming.

It’s what we do with it that makes the difference.

For me and for you.

A father, close to my age, lost two sons in a boating accident a short 11 years ago, and he shares his grief publicly to encourage others.

A wife shares her story of losing her law enforcement husband to his life in duty, and she gives others support, telling them they can and will survive.

A grandmother describes the last few years of her disabled mother’s life in desire to bring joy to others hearing how her mom always said, “I love you” with a smile to most anyone she met.

Grief is all around us.

If you don’t see it, it’s simply because your eyes are blinded.

If you don’t feel it, you may be oblivious or just plain self consumed.

I’m begging you to open your eyes.

I’m pleading with you to say a prayer.

I’m imploring you to look around and reach beyond self indulgences.

And grasp the hand of those bereaved, lost, or confused.

You never know whose life you might save,

Simply by giving a ray of hope in their dreary world.

Be the joy.

Be the peace.

Be the hope they desperately need.

But I do not want you to be ignorant, brethren, concerning those who have fallen asleep, lest you sorrow as others who have no hope. For if we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so God will bring with Him those who sleep in Jesus. For this we say to you by the word of the Lord, that we who are alive and remain until the coming of the Lord will by no means precede those who are asleep. For the Lord Himself will descend from heaven with a shout, with the voice of an archangel, and with the trumpet of God. And the dead in Christ will rise first. Then we who are alive and remain shall be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And thus we shall always be with the Lord. Therefore comfort one another with these words.

1 Thessalonians 4:13-18

Blessed are those who mourn,
For they shall be comforted.

Matthew 5:4

Be Someone’s Hero

/ The WheatandTares / 3 Comments

There are so many hurting and lost souls in this world.

Why would you ever want to become the one who wounds?

There are so many broken shattered lives all around.

Why would you ever want to become the abuser?

There are so many confused and controlled within our stories.

Why would you ever want to become an he one who brings the pain?

When you want to lash out, reach out in love.

When you want to return the cuts, give grace instead.

When you want to bring vengeance for the tears, give forgiveness and walk away.

Forgiveness doesn’t mean reconciliation is yielded.

Healing doesn’t always warrant reentry of the poison.

Be wise, but still forgive.

Be prudent, but still release the accused.

Holding them prisoner only brings the same guilt back to you.

Open that lock and barricade and let freedom reign.

Walk away to become someone else’s hero.

Move forward to create someone else’s ability to live.

Run toward purpose to become someone else’s hero and help slay someone else’s giant.

Now the Lord said to Samuel, “How long will you mourn for Saul, seeing I have rejected him from reigning over Israel? Fill your horn with oil, and go; I am sending you to Jesse the Bethlehemite. For I have provided Myself a king among his sons.”

1 Samuel 16:1-2

Grief .. Part 563

/ The WheatandTares

The journey of grief seems so long, so treacherous, and so methodical.

If you dwell too much on the journey, you’ll wander along the creek side, lost.

Never stopping for a drink.

The water continues to flow along the path, and it is for your refreshing, your renewal.

For the journey is hard, and it’s not meant for eternity.

Stay alert and remain vigilant in the middle of the walk.

Stay revived and maintain the elements to survive.

Grief is like a thief if you’ll allow him to be.

He will steal days, years, even hours and minutes

He will steal joy and peace, prosperity and comfort.

Don’t let him stay too long, or he will even steal your sanity.

You can’t shut him out; for then, he will only come back with gained force.

But don’t open the gate wide to welcome; for he will consume all territory that is lonely.

Fortify the good within and remain watchful.

Maintain the gates with prayer, steadfastness and faith.

Let him walk through, but swing open the back door with a celebration and fanfare.

For he will always peek through the windows and the trellises, but he cannot set up to abide.

For His anger is but for a moment, His favor is for life; Weeping may endure for a night, But joy comes in the morning.

Psalm 30:5

As the deer pants for the water brooks,
So pants my soul for You, O God.
My soul thirsts for God, for the living God.
When shall I come and appear before God? My tears have been my food day and night, while they continually say to me,
“Where is your God?” When I remember these things, I pour out my soul within me.
For I used to go with the multitude;
I went with them to the house of God,
With the voice of joy and praise,
With a multitude that kept a pilgrim feast. Why are you cast down, O my soul?
And why are you disquieted within me?
Hope in God, for I shall yet praise Him
For the help of His countenance. O my God, my soul is cast down within me; therefore, I will remember You from the land of the Jordan, and from the heights of Hermon, from the Hill Mizar.
Deep calls unto deep at the noise of Your waterfalls; All Your waves and billows have gone over me. The Lord will command His lovingkindness in the daytime, and in the night His song shall be with me—
A prayer to the God of my life. I will say to God my Rock, “Why have You forgotten me?
Why do I go mourning because of the oppression of the enemy?”
As with a breaking of my bones,
My enemies reproach me,
While they say to me all day long,
“Where is your God?” Why are you cast down, O my soul? And why are you disquieted within me?
Hope in God;
For I shall yet praise Him,
The help of my countenance and my God.

Psalm 42

Now the Lord said to Samuel, “How long will you mourn for Saul, seeing I have rejected him from reigning over Israel? Fill your horn with oil, and go; I am sending you to Jesse the Bethlehemite. For I have provided Myself a king among his sons.”

1 Samuel 16:1

Grief … Part 495

/ The WheatandTares

Grief can be like a bull in the field.

He looks all nice and cozy, chewing his cud, minding his own business.

But don’t get too close, or you’ll feel his horns.

That bull goes about his day, grazing, watching, or just lazing around.

But you get into his sight, and he’s liable to gorge you.

That bull has a family, or maybe he’s a loner.

Leave him alone.

Don’t prod him.

Don’t prick him.

And certainly, don’t pet him.

He’s there to do his thing, and he will come and go as he pleases.

Just keep your eyes on him.

Never let him out of your peripheral view.

For that is when he will sneak up for the kill.

And you’ll be fortunate to survive the pounding.

Let him roam.

And keep your vision clear.

Learn from every encounter but try not to remain.

He will move on down the pasture when it’s time; although, he will always be there.

Just let him roam further and further.

But never let him out of your sight.

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort those who are in any trouble, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. For as the sufferings of Christ abound in us, so our consolation also abounds through Christ. Now if we are afflicted, it is for your consolation and salvation, which is effective for enduring the same sufferings which we also suffer. Or if we are comforted, it is for your consolation and salvation. And our hope for you is steadfast, because we know that as you are partakers of the sufferings, so also you will partake of the consolation.

2 Corinthians 3-7

And lest I should be exalted above measure by the abundance of the revelations, a thorn in the flesh was given to me, a messenger of Satan to buffet me, lest I be exalted above measure.

2 Corinthians 12:7

Grief … Part 294

/ The WheatandTares

It seems funny to give a title to grief as if I am numbering sheets of paper, but yet, how else do you list it?

Grief is evasive and yet, it is so invasive.

Grief is like a cool, summer rain, and yet, it’s like a torrential tsunami that barrels in with no warning.

Grief is both bittersweet and just plain sour.

And when grief comes by new forms and methods consistently over the years, it gets hard to dissect the good in the pain.

Just hold on.

And pray.

A lot.

We were not made for this world.

We were not made for this grief, and that’s why it’s so foreign. That’s why it’s so hard.

We were made for an eternal world, and we will be there before we know it.

He’s coming back soon.

Just hold on and be ready.

And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.

2 Corinthians 12:9

For His anger is but for a moment, His favor is for life; Weeping may endure for a night, But joy comes in the morning.

Psalm 30:5