The Fight of Seduction

The sound of your voice still rattles in my head.

The effects are slowly but surely becoming dead.

The triggers you brought always through my heart were shot.

But now, your deceitful lies have all been quickly caught.

The murmur of your tongue is fading from my mind.

The impact of your facade dissipates like scattered grind.

One look, one word, no matter the hour, I’m still taken back.

Yet, I fight and I claw to resist the seducing hatred that only brings me lack.

Oh, how I wish to cry, to scream, to vent out to all the world.

I want to demand justice and deny your pleasantries that swirled.

I fight my own daggers, realizing bitterness is not the answer.

Gall cannot bring life, my bones it will eat like a cancer.

So, I walk away, never seeking retribution or the slightest reconstruction.

I will wait for time to tell and truth to shine before my souls gives to abduction.

I cannot be free from the memories that bring pain, but I can sing.

I can praise my God for His goodness and grace, for the life He will bring.

Penned – MG – 3/1/20

Whimsical Wednesday… forgotten till Thursday

If you are a “faithful reader” here at the Grizzle Grist, my sincerest apologies to you, and my deepest thanks for putting up with my neglect over the past two weeks! Between traveling to Ukraine for 12 days, a bit of jetlag, and the mounds of emails and just everyday catch-up that’s needed right now, I kind of feel like the rabbit from Alice in Wonderland. 🙄🤦‍♀️😂

I have restaurants to review for Tuesday’s Treats and thoughts for Whimsical Wednesdays and adventures for Friday Fun Days, and I’ve just got to take the time to sit down and write! Isn’t that the difficulty of every “well intended, self initiated writer?” Lol.

Well, I’m working on it. So, I just wanted to say, “Thanks for you patience and for not giving up on me!”😉 You’re amazing! 💕

Btw, I know yesterday was Wednesday; so, let me share this thought with you! Since I was a freshman in college, I’ve had this hero who is an amazing speaker, preacher and teacher. Well, now all of a sudden, he’s at our church, speaking to our congregation, and I am having direct conversations with him, like just common, comfortable, “How’s it going today?” kind of convos. It almost seems surreal; yet, he’s so humble, that he doesn’t appreciate the “fan club” type status; so, I definitely try to interact “normal.” 😂

I really began getting nervous yesterday, because I had to speak during the offering time, right before he spoke. 😳 Then, I had to remind myself, “He’s only human, too. God has appointed this time and purpose in the journey of my life, just walk in it and watch His blessings flow. It’s all about HIM anyway!”

Have you ever experienced something like that? Who’s your heroes and have you ever been able to speak to them in person, or has it only been by fan mail or signing autographs? How do you deal with “out of the norm/beyond your comfort zone kind” of moments in life?

Friday Fun Day

It’s hard to believe that this time next week, I’ll be writing the first Friday Fun Day of 2020.

Time to assess, evaluate, process and plan.

What have you done in 2019 that has been fun?

What is one thing you wish you could go back and change?

What is one thing you are thankful for?

What is one improvement you’d like to make in 2020?

Your lists may be long, or they may be short, but it’s good to look at your year and take account of the good, the bad and the ugly. It doesn’t mean you can go back and change it.

However, if we keep doing the things we’ve always done, expecting a different results, we are not wise. I believe Albert Einstein actually said it amounts to INSANITY.

If we expect to see change, we must like a flower bush be pruned, watered and fertilized, and in the spring, growth will appear as a tiny bud. It may seem tiny, but over time, the beautiful fragrance will convince you of the change.

Happy Friday Fun Day! Go have some fun!

Let 2019 go out with a bang and welcome 2020 like a beautiful, sweet fragranced rain.

Don’t Hide the Scar

*A little late to posting today. My apologies.

I saw this picture the other day, and it struck a chord in my soul. Sometimes, we work hard to hide the scars we’ve obtained through the valleys of life. Many times, a scar leaves us with the memory of what is broken and marred. Often times, we try to cover the scar with a smile, a laugh or a seeking to remain in the shadows, thinking somehow, if the scar is never seen, the wounds and the pain will magically disappear as well.

I have found this statement to be so very true. “Never be ashamed of a scar. It simply means you were stronger than whatever tried to hurt you.”

Growth, strength and healing is all in perspective. Let truth be your guide. Let love be your light, and let hope be your destiny despite the scars with which you travel.

Hold your head high and embrace those things that remind you of the struggle, of the wrestling for the next breath, and always remember, your scars don’t make you a victim, unless you choose for them to be.

Friday Fun Day

Sometimes, you just need a bath…

Wash away the muck and mire of life’s journey. Purify. Purge. Expunge.

Blot out the ugly and the waste of living experiences. Scour. Sanitize. Refine.

Wipe off and polish up for a new beginning.

Fridays are a good day to accomplish a good cleansing. It’s the end of the work week, right before the free weekend.

Great time to make anew.

How ’bout it? Are you ready to let it all go?

Learn to Dance

I saw this pic the other day, and please forgive me, it hit me all wrong. Yes, I do understand the concept. I do understand that everyone wants to not feel broken. I do understand that being happy and free feels so much better than being heartsick and broken beyond repair. I get it.

I’ve had my share of brokenness. I’ve had my share of broken dreams, broken promises, broken images, and broken foundations in my life. I’ve had more than my share of tears shed through the years. I’ve experienced more than some and not as much as others. Brokenness is not comfortable, enjoyable, or even a bearable element of my soul.

But I cannot embrace the cultural trend that forgetting from where I came makes me more joyous, more loose, more free to live. I refuse to welcome the notion that to obliterate my past makes me a better, more balanced, human being. I will not accept the propaganda that tells me “a forgotten past brings a brighter tomorrow.” (*chosen words before seeing similar quote online. No correlation or reflection. Unaware of that author, quote or beliefs.)

When someone is hiking up a mountain, forgetting from whence you came will only cause you to lose your way back down the trail. When someone goes on a long extended trip, obliterating the road map will only cause you to never return to home.

When someone tries to erase history, history is never truly erased. What has been has been, and there is no way to live as if it never existed. That is just pretending, and pretending just makes you as a child.

Being a child is wonderful while you are of a physically young age, but once you have crossed the threshold of maturity, that immaturity only makes you look like an ignorant fool. (…and yes, those can mean two very different things.) So then, you have to look yourself in the mirror and ask yourself the hard questions…

How old am I? How old should I be acting? Will I live my life in immaturity, ignorance and foolishness, or will I live in maturity, knowledge and wisdom? The choice is truly yours.

I choose to walk in integrity, maturity, wisdom and truth. I choose to embrace my past, my pain and my brokenness, even the shattered pieces that may always carry a shards of irreparable moments. I will carry on, even if I walk with a limp, and even if my scars are evident for all to see.

I choose to be full of joy. I choose to have peace. I choose to love and be loved. I choose to have life and give life.

Is it hard? Heck, yeah! Is it uncomfortable? Always. Telling you that’s it’s not would be returning to those childhood days of pretend and make believe. Life is so much better than the fairytales. Not because it never rains and not because there is no pain, but rather, because through the rain, I learn to dance, through the pain, I learn to sing.

And this song and dance is better than any mythical enchantment I could ever dream. This song and dance gives birth to a beautiful melody called life created by an unimaginable symphony of experiences and awakenings. Without these notes on the pages of my soul, I could never leave the legacy of song for my children, my friends, my family, for one who is ready whom I may never know.

So, I will choose to dance even when it’s raining and even though the storm brews darker. I will dance and sing, and sing some more, to bring a little memory of sunshine through the pain; so, the legacy will live ever more brightly for my children and those who are to come.

**Listen to this.

*I do not own nor possess this song, video or photos. These are all from simple Google search.

Be the Fire

No one said this life would be fair. No one said you’d always walk along a path of daisies and roses. Sometimes, life just stinks, and you have to live through the pain and agony it presents.

Sometimes, this life is going to be set on fire, and you’ve got to decide whether you’re going to grab a bucket and put out the flames , stand your ground and walk through the blaze, or lie down and become the ashes. The choice is yours, and no one can make that choice for you.

You can be destroyed in the fire, or you can slow it to refine you, strengthen you and teach you. If you decide to lie down and allow it to consume, you must know that your life may not be the only one that is devoured. There may be children, grandchildren, friends and family. Often, we do not realize, we stand as a shield for those coming behind.

If you choose to walk through, the road may not be easy, and it may get hotter and more strenuous before it gets better, but there is one who promises you will not be diminished from the inferno.

His name is Jesus.

And He loves you.

With God by your side, the flames may lick at your being, and the temperatures may rise beyond comfortable, but YOU WILL MAKE IT. He will walk beside you. He will guide you, and when needed, He will carry you.

Give Him a chance. He will not disappoint. He is able. He is faithful. He is true, and His promises are unbreakable…inflammable…in-consumable.

When you choose to walk through the flames with Him, you become resilient to the wildfires. You become a pillar of stone that cannot be singed. You become the firefighter who rescues others from the flames.

Comfy Cozy

Comfort zones are so… well, comfortable. They’re nice and cozy. They’re places of no discomfort, no pain, no adjustment, no change. They are places where it’s easy to do what you do, and you have no fear of failure, intimidation or rejection. Comfort zones are where you can set your course “steady as she goes” and not worry about a thing.

Comfort zones can also become the place of stagnation and mediocrity. If you remain in your comfort zone long enough, you’ll never grow, you’ll never be challenged, you’ll never have to face the fact that you could be wrong in your methods, your words or even your mindset and how you approach life. When you choose to stay here for decades upon decades, you can even begin to regress.

The huge oak trees never become massive shelters in the forest without the acorn moving beyond the comfort of the warm soil. The flower never becomes a beautiful rose or a lovely tulip that comforts at the graveside without the moving and sprouting beyond the tiny seed that once was. A child never develops a skill that can affect the world until he goes through the needed the process of learning, development, and training that causes him to step beyond where he began the process. Growth simply doesn’t happen without change.

Even so, you and I never become mighty men and women of strength, character and grace without those uncomfortable moments that draw us out from the shadows and force us to adjust to the new, the uncomfortable, and yes, the changes that come.

If we constantly refuse to adjust, we will constantly stunt our growth. If we constantly stunt our growth, then we may remain in that comfort zone, but we will have nothing to show for it at the end of our days. Once something (or someone) grows comfortable, unyielding, unmovable, and stagnant, what purpose and what value does it really hold at the end of life?

How comfy are you??

Love Me Challenge #28

What have I learned in these 28 days of this Love Me Challenge?

1. Challenges can be fun

2. Challenges can be challenging

3. Sharing your heart in factual questions/answers about yourself can be both fun and challenging. 

4. Sharing your heart by answering questions from someone else’s creation can draw out things you haven’t thought of in years, or even, never really put a lot of thought into until that moment. 

5. Lots of people read these kinds of posts but not so many join in with you…But that’s ok! 😉💕 … and I’ve thoroughly enjoyed all the “join ins,” as well as, the encouraging words. You guys are simply the BEST! 💗

Love Me Challenge #16

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Something I like about myself is, also, something I dislike at times. I am a very soft spoken person, and someone who works overtime to not impose upon other people. Generally, I keep my thoughts to myself, and I’d prefer to speak when spoken to rather than speak out of turn. 

For those of you who struggle with your extroverted personalities might think you would love to have this personality trait; however, for those of us “blessed with such a skill” might have quite a difference of opinion. However, this post today is about what I like about me; so, what I like about it…

Walking into a crowded room, I can slip in almost unnoticed, find a friend and smile before everyone realizes how lonely I might be feeling that day. When someone hurts my feelings or makes me mad, I can hold my tongue until I’m over it, and I don’t have to worry about saying something stupid I might regret. When there is someone else hurting or alone, I can come beside them and help them carry the load, ever aware of the possibility of pushing too hard or staying too long. When a friend is in need of someone, but doesn’t need noise and fanfare, I can sit for hours just enjoying the company and offering a helping hand. When my children are acting like hooligans, I can calmly walk up to them, whisper their tiny thread of existence between joy and utter sorrow and walk away… well, no, that’s not quite the truth. I’m sorry, I don’t have that much patience or soft spoken qualities.😂 

As with any strength, there are equal traits that will make it a weakness when I let it. There were years when I hated this quality about myself, and honestly, there are plenty of days when I still struggle with this love/hate relationship I have built. However, as I am growing older, I am accepting the fact that God made me this way for a specific reason, and I am learning to grow with it, relish in it and explore beyond it. 

If for no other reason, I am finding more and more that one of the greatest reasons He created me in this way is because He decided to place me in a home with three very strong, outspoken, outgoing men. I bring a great balance to all the activity and noise, and He knew that I, for one, would need it! 😉💗