Man-Child

April 14, 2016April 14, 2016 / The WheatandTares / 6 Comments

Our son shared a devotion during his youth service last night, and someone snapped a photo and sent it to me.

At first glance, I was in shock, in tears and in awe of who I saw. It was as if he had grown up overnight, or maybe just in the hour and half since I dropped him off. How does this happen??

They are so tiny when they’re born, so helpless, so dependent on everything we do for them. We survive the endless midnight feedings and sleepless restings, only to enter the toddler years, when they seem heck-bent in killing themselves in one fashion or another!

Then, it’s school days and taxi driving to every event and sports practice known to mankind. This is soon followed by the absence of mind and hearing through the teenage years, and we wonder some days how we could have given birth to such a creature. These days of challenge and adventure are continued as those, once tiny dependents, start testing their abilities and spreading their wings. They push for their independence, and we seriously wonder how our hearts will handle the empty nests once they’ve flown.

Yet, there comes a moment after the night of events, when you’re watching his smile and hear the excitement in his voice, and you realize you wouldn’t want him any other way. You know within your heart you never want to hinder him or hold him back from his dreams. You see that the once little boy may no longer be in those days of youth, but you realize, as he wraps his arms around you and says, “I love you, Mom” that your man-child has grown past the point of no return, and you long for him to spread his wings and fly to the highest heights and let nothing hinder his dreams and aspirations.

The Crossroads

February 4, 2016February 7, 2016 / The WheatandTares / 6 Comments

I think I have been relearning a lesson lately…

When we are seeking for inner change, and we are faced with our moment of exponential growth, we are faced with two choices. What we choose in that moment will determine if we move forward or start moving backwards, and sometimes, our choice will determine our ultimate success or failure. There is a crossroads set before us, and the road we choose will make all the difference.

Have you ever been there?

crossroads-660x400 When we are seeking to be better, whether it be in weight training, ballet, education, acting, playing golf or even eating and health issues, there will always come a time, many times, actually, when the learning and the growth becomes almost painful to continue. It feels as if the choice to continue will surely be the death of our current state of being, and in actuality, it is kind of a death. It is at that moment when we must realize that our choice to “bow out” or to turn back to the more comfortable places will actually be detrimental to our overall growth, and in some cases, it can mean death to the dream or goal we have set.

When I, personally, come to this crossroad, this fork in the road, I am reminded of the poem written by Robert Frost many many years ago, “The Road Not Taken.*” This is one of my all time favorites, and I’ve referred to it often in my life experiences. He says, “Two roads diverged in a yellow wood…and I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference.*” No matter which road you choose, each path leads you forward to a new place, or you can attempt to turn back from whence you came, and you may cripple the person you are to become. Just as a child, once grown, can never truly return to the little boy he once was, I cannot return to my former self without losing the strength, faith and understanding I have come to find in walking through these crossroads.

So, I choose to walk forward, to take this crossroad set before me, no matter the challenge it presents or the obstacles I may face tomorrow. The crossroad signifies a demarkation from what and who I was to what and whom I will become. I will keep moving forward, keep exploring and continuing to discover this new world, these new experiences and this new me to find who it is I am to become and to whom I will leave it all when my day has come.

*Robert Frost, The Road Not Taken, https://www.poets.org/poetsorg/poem/road-not-taken

Photo: I do not possess nor do I own this photo. Simply found on Google Images from http://www.thebusinesswomanmedia.com/how-to-create-career-clarity-at-a-crossroad

Tears Bring Healing

January 19, 2016January 21, 2016 / The WheatandTares / 1 Comment

Tonight, I had to tell our youngest, “No,” and it just broke my heart to watch him struggle with the answer, fight back the tears, and, finally, come into my arms for comfort and to shed a few more years. It wasn’t a no that I wanted to give, and it definitely wasn’t a moment of excitement, but I told him, “No,” because the cost was just too high, and we just didn’t have it to give for a new pet.

You see, he wanted a leopard gecko. He loves animals…LOVES them, I say. He always has; if I would let him, he would have his room (or the whole house, for that matter!) full of all kinds of creatures. He had been talking about this latest endeavor for about a week. He had researched what they eat, what their habitat needed and how they slept. He was ready. We headed to the pet store with the pre-knowledge that mom could pull the brakes, if needed, depending upon price, difficulty of care and the need to feed them live food. Note: Because he is only ten, and knowing the reputation he has of loving the pets but, eventually, leaving most the feeding and cleaning to mom, I was not going to be okay with a pet who was high maintenance or needed live animals in its diet. (Sorry, I’m really not a “girly girl,” but I don’t care much for crickets, worms, etc.)

Off to the pet store we went. The lady who helped us was incredibly knowledgeable. She had a fish, a bearded dragon and a cat at home herself. She was so patient and informative, even as we switched the decision, due to daily live cricket feedings to once a week live feedings, from a leopard gecko to a eyelash crested gecko,. Once all of the needed materials were loaded into the cart, and I started calculating in my head that this was rounding out at about $200, without the $50 gecko, I had to call dad…this was just a big chunk of change for such a small pet. Dad made the final call and agreed that, indeed, it was simply too much to be spent right now. I watched as my sweet, pet-loving, son took the news with courage and understanding but, also, with a broken little heart.

He dutifully put all the items back on the shelf, refusing any comfort or conversation, until I finally said, “Buddy, come here a second.” He came into my arms and buried his little face and cried. It broke my heart. I knew it was the right decision we had to make, but feeling his little arms around my waist and looking into his red, tear stained eyes, I was ready to weep. I wanted to make it all perfect for him, to see his beautiful smile and hear his little squeals of laughter and delight.

Do I just want to give all things to my children no matter the cost or consequence? By all means! Is it for their betterment if I do this? Definitely not. It made me think of our Heavenly Father when He has to tell us, “No.” He doesn’t tell us no, because He wants to keep us from happiness. He doesn’t tell us no, because He is a mean father and just wants to see us cry and complain. He tells us no for our good. He tells us no, because He has a better plan. He tells us no, because He wants us to grow and learn and become whom He has designed in perfection.

When JMan earns all of the money to go back and buy that gecko, he will have grown a little. He will have learned more of what rewards can come when a little hard work and effort are achieved. He will also have learned a lot about appreciation for a gift well earned rather than an attitude of entitlement for a gift just simply received. Over the next few weeks, when the tears have settled and the little jobs are being done around the house, he and I will talk about the lesson that’s being learned…a life lesson: there are times we won’t always get what we want instantly, but if we set a goal, take the necessary steps to get there, it is always achievable. We will, also, talk about how in the moment, the tears may come and the disappointment may feel as if it’s breaking our heart, but given time, we will see clearly the growth, strength and healing which come when we handle our disappointments the way he did today.

On a lighter note, I found this pic today could very well and see this being him one day…without the pink pjs and long hair, of course. Lol…

**note: I do not possess, I do not own nor did I take this picture. It came up via Facebook. I simply screenshot it and posted here.

Some Things Must Fall

November 5, 2015November 5, 2015 / The WheatandTares / 2 Comments

I love fall…the changing colors, the cooler temperatures and the falling leaves. I was watching the other day as the leaves fell from a big oak tree, and it caused me to think of things in my life that need to fall the same.

Anger… At the petty… At the wrong done…

Stress… In the complicated… In the chaos…

Strife… With the unaware… With the unknown…

Fear… Of rejection… Of failure…

Doubt… When it seems impossible… When it looks different…

Skepticism… Sadness… Scars…

Are there things in your life which you need to let fall? The falling of leaves allows for new growth to come in the Spring. The falling of leaves provides a covering for tender saplings and seeds during the cold, bitter winter season. The falling of leaves paints a masterpiece of beauty and renewal despite the falling away.

Let it fall today. Let healing begin, and new growth will come.

“I am the true vine, and My Father is the vinedresser. 2 Every branch in Me that does not bear fruit He takes away;[a] and every branch that bears fruit He prunes, that it may bear more fruit.” John 15:1-2

The Closed Roads of Yesterday

October 6, 2015October 14, 2015 / The WheatandTares / 2 Comments

There’s a song I’ve been listening to this week that I just can’t seem to get out of my head. It has some incredible lyrics…

I’ve been painting pictures of Egypt, leaving out what it lacked. The future feels so hard, and I wanna go back.

The places that used to fit me cannot hold the things I’ve learned. Those roads were closed off to me while my back was turned. – Sara Groves

Her song is referencing the story in the Bible of the children of Israel who were delivered from their years of slavery in Egypt; however, once they found themselves wandering in the wilderness, they whined and complained, longing for their days back in slavery…

I think, too often, this is so true for our lives. When we are growing, transitioning from the old to new, sometimes, it can feel uncomfortable, even painful, to keep moving forward. The changes and transitions it takes to mature can cause us to long for those “easier” days of our past. They can even cause us to “glorify” those yester-years, forgetting the reality of what once was true. Yet, what we fail to realize is when we’ve grown past those days of which we’ve so beautifully painted, they just don’t seem to fit like they used to.

It’s just like many young adults growing into adulthood. They may long for those glorious days of their youth, but they can never really return, no matter how much they try to regress. They may act silly, playful, even completely irrational, but they’re only left looking a fool, because those childish acts just don’t fit, and they simply cannot become a kid again.

She says in another place, “…caught between the promise and the things I know…” It can be so difficult when we are trying to reach for the promise of our tomorrow, but the comforts of yesterday are screaming at us to return, and the present just doesn’t seem as great as we once envisioned. Sometimes, it can feel so tempting to back up, “take a breather,” and not work so hard to achieve whatever goal it is that we’ve set before us. However, can I tell you something? Too often, when we back up, when we turn around from where we’ve been headed, and we try to return to those more comfortable moments, those places that used to feel good, we realize even those don’t actually feel as good as we thought they did. Something’s missing; something has changed, and what has changed is US. We are no longer the person who used to fit into those experiences, those places from whence we came, and those roads of the past are simply closed.

It’s just like an old jacket or dress from our early teen years that we try on once we’ve grown up and even had a few kiddos. We might be able to put it on, but the sleeves might be a little short, the ends might come a little above our waistline, or the fashion is one that just can’t quite make it to today’s standards. It just doesn’t fit anymore, because we’ve grown beyond the point when we could wear it comfortably. We’ve grown beyond when we needed it. In order to keep growing, we must put it away, or even better, we must get rid of it. We can cherish the memory, but we must press forward to a better purpose, a higher calling, a brighter promise!

If we’re going to continue growing, this is just how life is. We can’t return to those things of old, those things which we’ve grown beyond. If we are to be champions of the faith, we cannot return to our past time and time again. We cannot dabble in those things that cloud our vision and hold us back. We must press forward, and take hold of those things to come, even when they’re challenging, even when they are uncomfortable and make us long for those “easier” days. We must walk away from those closed roads of yesterday, and take hold of Jesus and allow Him to mold us, shape us and develop us into being who He has called us to be.

We must, also, learn to say with Paul, “But what things were gain to me, these I have counted loss for Christ. Yet indeed I also count all things loss for the excellence of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord, for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and count them as rubbish, that I may gain Christ and be found in Him…Not that I have already attained, or am already perfected; but I press on, that I may lay hold of that for which Christ Jesus has also laid hold of me. Brethren, I do not count myself to have apprehended; but one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead, I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 3:7-9a, 12-14

Sara Groves – Painting Pictures of Egypt from 2nafish on GodTube.

**I did not take this pic, nor do I own this pic. Simply looked up and going through Google images.**

Blogging 201: Get Read All Over and Auditing

September 16, 2015September 16, 2015 / The WheatandTares / 5 Comments

Today seems to be a short and sweet assignment (“Get Read All Over”)…check out your blog on various devices to see that it is readable and appeals to all possible audiences. I can “Check” this off my list. 😉

So, I suppose, I will address “Day 2: Auditing Your Brand” of the Blogging 201, as I am still in the process of completing this assignment. I have asked a couple of people to look at my blog and “gently critique” it to see what might need some improvements. I’ve received sweet, encouraging, and honest replies from two of the three fellow bloggers I approached (just haven’t heard from the third yet), and I would like to share with you their blogs, as well, to let you see why I chose them. Even though, I don’t personally know either of them, I think we have just kind of “hit it off” as “blogging neighbors.” I think both of them have incredible blogs and really share from their hearts: The Narrow Lens and Minuscule Moments of Inspiration …I do hope you will hop over to their blogs and see what they have to say today. I don’t think you’ll be disappointed. 🙂

You know, if I were to be honest here, asking someone to take time to “review” my blog is a little intimidating. I really am curious and desirous of the review. I wonder all the time if my blog is intriguing, helpful, encouraging, as well as, “pleasant to the eyes;” however, I have to go through so many thoughts before I work up the courage to ask… “Will they mind my asking?” “Do they really have the time?” “Am I imposing upon them by asking?” “Will they give an honest opinion, or will they be mean, and maybe a little too blunt, or will they just simply be too sweet, not being truthful?” It takes courage and confidence to ask for an honest review, an honest answer, even an honest opinion, and it takes humility and confidence to receive constructive criticism. (yes, I used confidence twice in the same sentence. Sorry, making a subtle point. haha.) I think, sometimes…well, no, often times, we avoid asking for honesty in another’s reply to us. We may be too fearful, too intimidated, too prideful, or even too lazy, because to actually receive criticism, we might have to realize we weren’t as right as we thought we were…we might have to alter the way we’ve always done things…we might have to realize and admit we were wrong. (Ouch!) We might have to actually improve our speaking or writing skills. We may have to sit up straighter, walk a little taller, smile a little brighter. We might have to do things a little different…or a lot. We might actually have to change from who we’ve been.

Now, I know, I’m not implying we should change for every little criticism that comes our way! Goodness, NO! If we did that, we’d just become a wimpy, indecisive person who isn’t stable, proactive or even certain of our own thoughts or actions. (and that can be a thought progressed on another post) However, I do believe, if we desire true growth in our lives, we need a few leaders who can “get in our grill” and tell us how it is. We need someone who thinks differently than we do, who dreams different, who sees things different, someone who can challenge us to look at things from a different angle for our own good. Otherwise, we will live our lives puffed up in pride, never realizing we might actually stink at what we’re doing, or we will exist in our own self pity to the point we never can succeed at anything!

Well, I guess, that was a pretty deep thought for the “Audit Your Brand” assignment, but I hope you enjoyed it. 😉 By the way, if you would like, I’d love for you to take a few minutes to browse through my blog and see what you think. I’d like to receive some feedback from you!

… taking a risk here, please, be kind yet truthful! 😉

Blogging 201: Branding and Growth

September 14, 2015September 14, 2015 / The WheatandTares / 7 Comments

Ok, so in addition to my daily posts, I am going to attempt to keep up with Blogging 201 over next week or so. I know I did this last year; however, I feel like I could always use the extra help and refreshing of ideas. 🙂

Today, we must set three goals for our blog:

1. Increase followers by 20% by January 1, 2016…at 266 today… So, that would mean 318. (Wow, I can’t believe that date is almost a reality!)

2. Publish consistently everyday of the month, except Sundays. (This includes, but is not limited to Weekly posts)

…Since I already have two weekly features in place (Wednesday’s Ode and Friday’s New Angle), I’m not going to add another quite yet. However…

3. Visit fellow bloggers at least one hour weekly, comment and encourage them as I go.

So, here we go! Blogging U has now begun… 🙂

Lessons Learned

July 28, 2015July 28, 2015 / The WheatandTares

Don’t you wish you could learn some things sooner than you actually do??Some things would have been easier to grasp when I was 20 than now when I’m over 40 and a little more set in my ways! Some things would have come a little quicker had I started on the path of learning them when I was 25 rather than now when I’m almost twice that age. Oh, how I wish I had lived a little smarter, made choices a littler wiser, learned a earlier. It surely would have made things go a little smoother these days…

However, I came to a conclusion the other day, instead of living in the regrets of what I “should’ve, could’ve, would’ve,” 10, 15, even 20 years ago, I will now say to myself, “It is what it is, now, how am I going to make the BEST of it?!”

Just as a pastor and I were talking the other day about some family lessons we each are learning, I came to that realization, because family lessons can be some of the toughest…you know those kind, don’t you? The kind with your mother, your father, your sister, your brother…The kind where you learn to speak up, shut up or even walk away from a dilemma that’s plagued you for years… You know, those real lessons that, sometimes, we don’t really want to acknowledge that we need to learn.

Well, we were talking about this, and I said, “I just wish I could have learned this so long ago! It would have saved me so much grief and frustration!” His reply was, “how old are you?…(I told him)…try being over 60 and learning it!” We just laughed, because it’s so true! If you’re constantly seeking God, and what He has for you, you’re going to be learning and growing, no matter how old you are.

I suppose, one of the most important things to remember is we’re never beyond learning!! We’re never too old to learn, to grow and even to change. There are lessons to be learned all around us everyday. It’s what we do with the lesson given to us that makes all the difference.

I Watch You Grow

May 14, 2015August 8, 2015 / The WheatandTares

With this being the end of the school year and many are graduating this week and the coming weekends, I thought I might repost a poem I posted last November…

I watch you grow from day to day

Each new morning it seems you’ve found a new way

To touch my heart and to make me smile

Even if it is just to sit with you awhile

You have my eyes and your daddy’s squeal

Every passing hour brings another thrill

To make me gasp, hope, laugh or wonder

Even as the minutes go by, of you, I grow ever fonder

You have such joy, such energy and life

Lord, help me to never fill your days with strife

I thank my God above for blessing me with you

I pray I teach you His ways in all that I do