Scarred

SCARRED
Originally posted: OCTOBER 11, 2014

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I stand here in shock, not knowing what to do;

I cannot believe the feelings I’ve caught here from you.

Memories from the past overwhelm my weary mind,

But now, in chains, these memories they do bind.

My hands to you, we were reaching for the stars.

My dreams, our friendship, now you have scarred.

The distance you’ve placed, this I do not understand.

Between us, our sisterhood, is it now banned?

The anger, the jealousy, I pray it does not last.

So many questions I’m left with, only not to ask.

This brokenness and pain, I wish I did not feel.

They all say it takes way too much time to heal.

As I stand here with this bleeding heart,

I pray that one day we have a brand new start.

God can cleanse, forgive and always can mend,

But it takes you and me with this friendship to tend.

Penned – MG – 7/7/99

Daily Prompt: Scar
Scars

Give It Up!

Sometimes, we just have to give it up! Now, I’m not talking about your faith or your salvation. I’m not talking about your marriage or that commitment you made that has gotten difficult to continue, but you know you must. No, I’m speaking of matters of the heart here. Those emotions that we should have laid down a long time ago. I’m talking about those thoughts and feelings that keep bubbling up when you least expect it, and they keep wrecking your peace, your joy and your future. 
You’ve been holding onto the past, your pain, your anger, and even your fears for so long that the holding on has become a ritual. It has become a routine, a part of you, as if it’s your right arm or hand. We all do it from time to time. We hold that thing close and cater to it, pamper it and even excuse it, until it become a part of us. Then, when we are confronted with Truth, with the need of letting it go, we buck and baulk like we’re being asked to cut off a vital organ! The Word says, in John 8:32, “Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” Truth comes to set us free from the bondage and strongholds that keep us bound and held back from a better life. Truth brings healing and freedom. So, how can we do that when that pain, or that emotion, has become a part of us?? We simply obey. We have to obey Him when He urges us to let go. 

We need to be so in love with Jesus that it doesn’t matter WHAT He asks of us, we are ready and willing to obey. We can’t obey Him simply because of our own goodness. Jeremiah 17:9 says, “The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked; Who can know it?” We don’t just have a “good heart” …even though that is definitely propagated here in South! (I hear moms and grandmothers say all the time, “I know they’re a rascal, and they cheat, lie and do drugs, but they’ve got a good heart!”…yeah, right!) 

We can’t obey simply because we work harder at it. It’s not a matter of works. If we only work to obey Christ out of our “dutifulness,” then, we’ve turned the cross into a bloodless stick. He didn’t die for us simply for us to do better. He died for us so we could love Him, to have a relationship with Him, and, ultimately, to restore us to our heavenly home. Hebrews 7:25 says it like this, “Therefore He is also able to save to the uttermost those who come to God through Him, since He always lives to make intercession for them.” He died for us so that we might be reconciled to Him!

If we continue to hold onto these wounds, these pains, these sins of our past and refuse to let them go and allow Him to heal us, we will continually miss His best for our lives! We need to realize when He asks us to let go of something, it is not to harm us or to bring us pain and agony. It is to bring us healing and freedom in Him. It is to bring about HIS best for our lives! …and we need to realize it wouldn’t hurt so much to let go had we not let it grow attached in the first place!! (Ha!)

Jeremiah 29:11-14 says, “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you,” declares the Lord, “and will bring you back from captivity. I will gather you from all the nations and places where I have banished you,” declares the Lord, “and will bring you back to the place from which I carried you into exile.”

I don’t know about you, but I want to choose freedom today! I will choose Truth and Liberty this year! It’s time to give it up, to lay down our will and our way, and to seek God’s complete truth for our lives!! Let’s give it up! 🙂

Deep Dark Tunnel

It’s a deep, dark tunnel 

I am forced to walk through to funnel. 

The scars are deep, those it requires. 

The voices are strong, never tiring in the mire. 

The path is paved with the broken and the destroyed. 

Their demise is how I must fill the void. 

Learn from their mistakes. Don’t make it twice. 

Turn away from my heart’s wicked, wicked vice. 

It’s scary. It’s sad. It’s simply a lie. 

Yet, there’s a light guaranteed on the other side. 

There is a promise, a hope, a future. 

If I can just find the strength and energy to endure. 

We’re not here long, and this is simply a test. 

If I can just keep my sight focused on Him and not the rest. 

I will find all the peace and belonging I hope for. 

All I must do is just open the door. 
The path is loneliness.

 The destination is depression. 
Those who don’t struggle never quite understand the battle. 

Those who battle without hope can never see beyond the rattle. 

Those who find Hope, find a new tomorrow. 

This is a Hope that doesn’t just have to be borrowed. 

This is the Only One who gives true Hope and Life. 

He is the answer. Will you let Him take away your strife? 

He can help you. He came here just for you. 

He longs to hold you, to heal you,to love you through and through. 

All you have to do is see, believe and trust. 

All you have to do is say His name, and your hope will never rust. 

Penned – MG – 12/16/15

Christmas Project

I started last year with a family project at home that I’m starting a few days late this year, but I’m still going to do it:  A Christmas “Thankful Meaningful Jar.” We will each try to write down a mall note everyday of what Christmas means to us or something that we are thankful for at Christmas time. 

Christmas is about laughter, joy, family, coziness, warm fires and hot chocolate. It’s about reading a good book, being thankful, being joyous, being gracious, and being kind. It can also be a time of loneliness, heartbreak and desperate fear. It can be a time of lack, sadness and even anger. In our time of fulfillment, I never want our boys to forget others who don’t have. I never want them to get to a place of entitlement or expectancy and refuse to give what we have to those in need.

This is the reason for our new family tradition. I hope this jar of words of thankfulness, thoughtfulness and appreciation will help us to remember the true meaning of Christmas: Christ, His birth, His life, and His purpose. Remembering the “less fortunate” is exactly what He did; it’s what He’s all about. He left His glory, His beautiful kingdom for ME and for YOU! We didn’t deserve it. We were lost and destined for hell, but He loved us enough to come to help us, to save us, to change us and to give us a better eternity. He promised to be with us always and to, one day, come back to take us to His glorious kingdom. 

I am so thankful He did, and I believe I can serve a God like that. 💗

“For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him.” John 3:16-17

“Behold, the virgin shall be with child, and bear a Son, and they shall call His name Immanuel,” which is translated, “God with us.” Matthew 1:23

Some Things Must Fall

  I love fall…the changing colors, the cooler temperatures and the falling leaves. I was watching the other day as the leaves fell from a big oak tree, and it caused me to think of things in my life that need to fall the same. 

Anger… At the petty… At the wrong  done…

Stress… In the complicated… In the chaos…

Strife… With the unaware… With the unknown…

Fear… Of rejection… Of failure… 

Doubt… When it seems impossible… When it looks different…

Skepticism… Sadness… Scars…

Are there things in your life which you need to let fall? The falling of leaves allows for new growth to come in the Spring. The falling of leaves provides a covering for tender saplings and seeds during the cold, bitter winter season. The falling of leaves paints a masterpiece of beauty and renewal despite the falling away. 

Let it fall today. Let healing begin, and new growth will come. 

“I am the true vine, and My Father is the vinedresser. 2 Every branch in Me that does not bear fruit He takes away;[a] and every branch that bears fruit He prunes, that it may bear more fruit.” John 15:1-2

Let Go to Grow

Have you ever watched a toddler hold tightly to his broken toy while crying that it’s broken, or a young child who covers her cut, refusing to let you clean and bandage it for fear of the pain?

I think we, as adults, can fall into this tendency with God as well. How often do we hold tightly to our broken dreams, our shattered emotions, our cracked ambitions, foolishly believing that somehow we can fix them on our own? How many times do we avoid His presence when our hearts are scarred from the pain, and we simply keep our tears hidden, somehow, convinced He can’t really heal the wounds? 

He is simply waiting there for us. He is as close as a whisper. All we have to do is call on Him, and He will be there. All we have to do is believe. All we have to do is let go. 

He is faithful. He is kind and merciful. He is full of love, and that love is for each of us. When we let go of the brokenness and the pain, that’s when we begin to grow. 

Will all our problems go away immediately when He shows up? Not necessarily. We are humans living in a humanistic world; we haven’t reached heaven yet. However, when He shows up, our perspective begins to change. Our eyes will see more. Our ears will hear more clearly, and our hearts will be free to heal. Our dreams will begin to grow again. 

Why? …because when He shows up, we have HOPE. 

Try it. Let go today and begin to grow. 

Bucket With Holes

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Do you ever feel like you’re using a bucket with holes in it? No matter what you try to fill that bucket with, it just seems to keep leaking, until you finally run out. Sometimes, you’ve either got to change the substance you’re putting in, repair it, or throw out the bucket and get a new one!

Let me give you an example of what I’m talking about… While I was doing crafts at youth camp a few weeks ago, we had a bucket that had a big gash in the bottom. From the outward appearance, that bucket looked perfectly fine, but the second you put liquid in it, it just flowed like a river out the bottom. The first day, one of the girls helping filled that bucket with water to use outside, not realizing it had a big crack in the bottom. She filled it in the sink and proceeded to carry it through the concessions area, out the door, and over to the tent-covered picnic tables where we were set up. After she sat down the bucket, she realized it was almost half empty, and just about that same time, the guys from the canteen hollered out the door, “Hey, there’s a big mess of water on this floor you might want to come clean up!” What a time we had cleaning that up!

At the beginning of the next day, I made the exact same mistake, except thankfully, I realized it before I left the kitchen! I just made a huge mess all around the sink area. Once I finally got all the water mopped up, I dried out that bucket and wrote “Hole in bucket!” on the side and on the bottom of that stinkin’ thing! Because we needed it, we kept using it for the rest of the week, but we no longer tried to put water in it. Instead, we used it to store all the containers of liquid tie-dye! The bucket was still useful, just not for the liquid with which we were trying to fill it! 😊

When you feel as if you’re using a bucket full of holes, when things in life just don’t seem to be working right, you may need to step back and figure out the problem. Sometimes, you’re just going to have to quit putting liquid in there expecting each time to yield a different result! Sometimes, you’re gonna need to use that bucket for another purpose than what you intended, or you’re going to need to make some repairs, and sometimes, you may just need to get rid of that busted pail all together.

Can I get real for a moment…? When your decision-making doesn’t seem to be taking you in the right direction, time and time again, you may need to change the methods by which you make your decisions, or you might need to start actually listening to the right people. When your relationships seem to be more “busted and disgusted,” rather than a source of joy and healing, you might need to change your choosing process or even the location of your “pick up.” When you just seem to be spinning your wheels, never getting anywhere, never growing, never succeeding in life, you might need to change the source on which you rely. Christ is the only One who can fix the broken places in this bucket called life, and He’s the best source for knowing which “bucket” to use. If you will but yield your heart and your life to Him, He can and will help you avoid those buckets with holes!!

*Note: I do not own, nor did I photograph the image above. I simply did a Google search and found it in images.*

Bring Your Brokenness

Sometimes, we clutch and hold so tightly the very things that are broken, bruised and shattered in our lives, those things which God so desperately longs to heal for us. It makes me think of a tiny child whose favorite doll has a leg that falls off or a toy truck that has a wheel that keeps coming off. Sometimes, that child will hold onto the toy, trying to put the broken part back together, growing more and more frustrated, because it just won’t work right. Finally, growing so frustrated, they throw a temper tantrum or break the toy further, not knowing how else to handle the situation.

This reminds me of our youngest with his lego building. There was a time when he just could not get some of the pieces apart to put them exactly where he wanted. He has always been pretty independent in his building of things; so, in those moments, he would try as hard as he could to get those pieces apart, and when he just couldn’t stand it anymore, he might just throw the pieces across the room with a loud “ugh!” It took him just a little while to realize if he brought that same piece to mom, she could usually use her nails to “magically” pry the two pieces apart. These days, if he has the slightest struggle with pulling two Legos apart, he may try his little Lego tool on them, and if that doesn’t work, I hear his calling my name to come fix it!

This is, often, I think, how we treat God. We keep holding onto our broken toys, determined to try to fix it ourselves. We keep trying to piece together our broken dreams, meddle with our broken relationships, tinker around with our broken hearts, only to realize the more we “work on it” ourselves, the worse it seems to get!

If we can ever get to the place where we immediately take our brokenness to God, we will find that He knows exactly how to fix it. We will find that He has the perfect remedy, the perfect salve, the perfect tool that “magically” brings it all back together. Now, let’s be clear, when He fixes something in our life, many times, He doesn’t fix everything instantaneously.

Often, He gives us time to process the healing. Sometimes, we may have to learn from a mistake; sometimes, He is using our healing to be a witness to someone else, and sometimes, He is working on several parties at once to bring about His glory in a unique way. There are many reasons why He may not fix it all in an instant. However, you can rest assure, He will bring you peace the instant you give it to Him, and through it all, as Paul tells us in Romans 8:28, He is always working all things for your good. Sometimes, the results are not going to be exactly what we expected, but I can attest, He knows what He is doing! He is God. He is faithful, and He loves us. We just have to trust Him. If we will do this, we will be amazed at how He will bring healing and work through our lives!

What a Girl Needs

Speaking from a place of experience, there are some fundamental needs that only a Daddy can give. When a girl misses out on these essential, especially in her young, tender years, she can struggle with self-worth, significance and love for the rest of her days. She may survive through it. She may have enough fortitude to square her shoulders, clinch her jaw and stare down these challenges for her emotions; however, even if she’s the toughest broad you’ve ever met, she’ll still walk with a limp.

A woman must have a sense of security in her life. She’s got to know things are going to be okay, even in the midst of a storm. If she can envision peace after the turmoil, it is easier for her to stand tall and face the wind. If she can imagine joy after the sorrow, she can lift her chin, clinch her jaw and laugh at the danger in front of her.

A woman has to have someone be captivated by her. Yes, you’ve heard the old saying, “every girls dreams of being a beautiful princess.” This is actually truth. She must have someone in her life who thinks she is something special. Someone by whom she is thought to be valuable, a treasure to be cherished. If she is found captivating, she finds herself fulfilled, satisfied, even having a sense of completion.

Lastly, a woman must have a sense of belonging. If she can feel as if she belongs to a group, a cause or a certain person, she will stay committed, at times, even to her own detriment. If you don’t believe me, just look at every woman who stays in an abusive relationship for years on end, or a youngster who stays committed to a certain peer group even when they are, frequently, mean spirited toward her. As long as she has an overall feeling of acceptance and a sense of belonging, she will endure what she must to keep those feelings alive.

A man can provide these feelings for a young girl, a teen and even for a full grown woman. He can give these genuinely out of the abundance of his heart, and he can, also, fabricate these out of the fantasies of his mind; however, on both accounts, he will eventually disappoint and let this little girl down. Skeptical, you say? Cynical, maybe? Well, actually, I am being neither; I am simply being truthful.

No man can always give a girl total security, unending captivated eyes and a solid sense of belonging. He will eventually give into his own fleshly nature and be unstable, oblivious and detached.  The only way a man can give a woman all that she needs is when he is allowing Christ to be His center for life. When He allows Christ to be the center, he is able to lead her in the same direction. His leading can never fulfill all her needs; yet, when he leads and she follows, they can, together, reach a place of fulfillment of God’s purpose for their marriage and their lives. When she and he both place Christ at the center of their lives, it doesn’t mean their lives and their relationship will be picture perfect; however, it does mean it will be closer to perfection.

So, if you are a Daddy who longs to fulfill the needs of his little girl’s heart, let God guide your heart, and help your baby girl to fall in love with Him. If you’re a dad who maybe feels like you “missed it” with your little one and are now faced with a teen, young woman, or even a grown daughter who is searching for security, admiration and acceptance, run to Jesus, and encourage her to follow. If you are a husband whose wife longs for fulfillment, allow Christ to become the center of your life and lead your wife in a better way toward Him.

In following Him, you will be able to provide those things which the young and grown women in your life need, not because of your own abilities, but rather, because of Christ who is living inside of you. She may not always follow, and your life can never be the source of her fulfillment; however, as you seek Him, she will see a better way, and when she finally yields to Him, she will find fulfillment in Him, and then, she will find everything she needs.

What’s Inside?

  
When you’re upset, you upset what’s really in you. -Ann Voskamp

You’ve heard it said, “When you spill the glass, you see what’s inside.” If sweet tea is inside, you see tea, and if it’s sour milk, you surely don’t get sweet tea! 😉 This is so true for each of us. No matter how pretty of a face we paint on, no matter how many smiles we flash, if our character is ugly, when pressures come, (and they will!) ugly is what will come out! 

In the moments of stress, it’s never a matter of what we know, who we know, or even what we’ve learned. It’s a matter of what we’ve allowed inside our hearts, what we’ve processed and what we’ve consumed. What is within our hearts is what is brought to the surface when we face hard times. 

I long for good to flow when I’m spilled out. I don’t like sour milk, never have; yet, when pressures arise, sometimes, sour is all that’s left. It gets messy. I long for purity. I long for less mess, and I’m really working on this; I truly am. 

Yet, I have found that it’s not a matter of the mind. You can’t just make yourself act better. You can’t just decide in your mind, “Ok, today will be different. No more spills. No more sour milk. Today, I shall be on a better course. I shall be better!” No, it’s not just a simple making up of the mind, and all is well. It’s a matter of the heart, and, oh, how that heart can be so stubborn sometimes…

I can determine in my mind that I will not doubt. I will not grow angry. I will not be afraid. I can convince myself that this time will be different. I will be different; however, if I’ve only convinced my mind, and I’ve not dealt with my heart, that heart will rebel. That heart will even revolt. When the heat of the moment comes, and my guard is let down, that heart will adamantly revert back to its comfort zone of fear, doubt, anger, or whatever emotion consumes it at the time. 

You see, the heart holds all the wounds, all the pain and all the joy. The heart is full of all the emotion, all the wonder, all fear. When troubles come, it’s really the heart that speaks, and this is why it is always a matter of that stubborn heart which determines what will spill out. 

This is why Jesus longs to rule our hearts. If He can hold our hearts, He can change our mind. He can transform our will. He can even change the world. If He can have our hearts surrendered to His will, He can consume our whole being. 

If we want the inside to be purified, to be empty of the mess, to be as pretty as the outside we paint, we must lend Him our hearts. We must surrender our emotions, our pains, our wounds. We must allow His living waters to wash over our hearts. We must let Him heal us from the inside out, and then, we won’t have to worry when the glass is spilt. There will be no sour to pour. It will only be full of fresh, living water, flowing from His heart to ours, and out to the world. 

“Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You are like whitewashed tombs, which look beautiful on the outside but on the inside are full of the bones of the dead and everything unclean. In the same way, on the outside you appear to people as righteous but on the inside you are full of hypocrisy and wickedness.” Matthew 23:27-28


**Note: I did not take picture, nor do not I own picture. Simply taken from google search.