There is so much truth to this statement that it’s almost difficult to add anything to it.
Too often, we continually try to change people to fit what we need, or better yet, we work hard to “lead them” to a better place to accommodate who we are and who we are becoming.
But people are people.
You might can lead them well, and when that is feasible, by all means, carry on. But when it is someone who is bringing constant harm to you or to someone you love, be careful giving your time. Because you’re also giving your love, your thoughts, and eventually someone else’s flesh more than just your own.
When it’s toxicity, abuse, or dysfunction we’re talking about, step back and evaluate what you’re truly letting go of:
Peace of mind. Peace in your home.
Love in your heart. Love in your surroundings.
Sanity. Sanity in your loved ones.
If these things are given up for the sake of family, friendship , or other relationships, is it really worth it?
Sometimes, you have to hear what someone is saying, see what they are doing, and understand they are who they are. This is a a choice. And you f it doesn’t line up with the peace, love and sanity you need for your life and for those within your charge, then by all means,
Step away.
You both will be better for it.
As a dog returns to his own vomit, So a fool repeats his folly. Do you see a man wise in his own eyes? There is more hope for a fool than for him.
Principles to live by… well, that can be a long list, I guess. But to sum it all up, I suppose the principle that all the rest would fall under would be a principle of love. Yet, if I start describing this in detail, it might look a little different than the societal demand for love these days.
In our current culture, there seems to be a demand to show love by accepting a certain opinion as truth. Or the demand might be that if I disagree with you, then, I’m not showing love but hatred.
Or if I’m not giving you what you want, then I’m not showing love. Or maybe if I’m not giving up something I want, or maybe I’m not suffering in a certain way, then I’m not showing the kind of love I’m supposed to be showing.
Pure, unadulterated love is sacrificial, gracious, and compassionate; yet, it is also full of truth, strength and courage.
True, unblemished love is is not one of these without the other. It is both.
If a parent loves his or her child but allows that child to run in the street to play while the truck is barreling down the path, is that really love?
If a spouse declares his love yet leaves and showers everyone else with his affections because he wants more, is that really love?
If a friend promises to share love and friendship yet breaks every confidence because she wants her liberty to share, is that really love?
If a child proclaims his love to his parents yet steals and destroys because he wants his freedom to live as he pleases, is that really love?
True love will rejoice in the truth, will bear all things, will believe all things, will hope all things, and will endure all things. Love never fails.
And love is impossible without abiding in the Only One who gave true love.
So, what principles define how I live? I guess I could begin with 1 Corinthians 13. I certainly don’t live it perfectly, but I strive toward it daily, only by seeking Him first.
Because He loved me first, now only can I begin to truly love.
Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I have become sounding brass or a clanging cymbal. And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, but have not love, it profits me nothing. Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails. … And now abide faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love.
For years, I’ve heard of the movie Good Will Hunting. I’ve tried to watch it on air flights every chance I got. But the unedited version just turned me off after the first maybe 5 mins. Forgive me. I’m weird like that, but I just don’t get into a lot of foul language and crude conversations. I’m not a big movie watcher anyway; so, I don’t care to waste my time…
But my husband had first watched it on an edited flight many years ago and had been referencing it for one situation or another all this time. I wanted to watch it so bad, I was almost tempted just to forgo my personal standards and just watch it anyway. Well, he told me the other day he’d had the tv edited version on our recordings for a while now, and he didn’t realize I’d wanted to watch it so bad. Lol.
So, we finally found time to sit down to watch it, and Wow. If you’ve not seen this. You need to. Of course, I would definitely encourage the edited version. Ha.ha. But anyway.
Without being a spoiler, let’s just say this little statement above came alive and well in the middle of the story, and I just balled my eyes out! Geez. I’m so glad I was in the privacy of my own home with only my husband to see me crying like a blubbering idiot and not on a plane where a whole bunch of strangers would wonder what in the world was my problem!
Some days the memories still knock the wind out of me.
And that’s just the honest truth of life, isn’t it?
It doesn’t really matter if it’s past pain, grief, brokenness or shame. When the memories come up, it doesn’t matter how deep you’ve stuffed them down, or how far beneath the surface you think you’ve buried them.
They’re going to slam into your heart like a tsunami.
They’re going to run through your mind like a twister seeking a place to land.
They’re going to roll over your soul like a freight train.
There’s no real stopping them.
You might as well stop the denial. And you might as well not try to run. Cuz they’ll chase you down and beat you, or they’ll just lie in wait for you at your next destination.
Memories don’t go away like a vapor in the wind.
They are like the fragrance on that wind, choosing when to come and when to go.
Claiming no responsibility and receiving no accountability.
Never giving forwarning of their arrival nor a wave to their departure.
They just are and forever will be.
It’s better to embrace, evaluate, excavate and even let them exuberate.
Otherwise, you’ll get sucked into an abyss of that depression, anger, resentment, confusion, and heartache from whence they came.
One of which you’ll never escape.
Do not remember the former things, Nor consider the things of old. Behold, I will do a new thing, Now it shall spring forth; Shall you not know it? I will even make a road in the wilderness And rivers in the desert.
This statement is the proof between maturity and immaturity.
It is the difference in the choice driven life and victim driven life.
It is the challenge of every human being alive.
You can either grow through your pain or allow it to consume you.
You can either choose to let it change you for good or for evil.
You can either live with determination or excuses.
It is up to you, and what you choose, what you allow will determine not only your outcome.
It will very likely determine the outcome for your children and/or those around you.
So, what will you choose?
How will you grow?
And who will reap the benefits ..or consequences?
Choose wisely, please.
And if it seems evil to you to serve the Lord, choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods which your fathers served that were on the other side of the River, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you dwell. But as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.
Somebody who is reading this right now needs to read that quote again:
Your worth is not determined by someone’s ability to appreciate it.
Too many of us live in a place of less than because we’re looking for someone’s approval, someone’s appreciation, even when we deny that reality.
We walk around every day stating we don’t need someone else’s admiration; yet, one slight deviation in their behavior, and we’re a wreck.
We puff our chests out like a peacock with the confidence to scale the highest height; yet, one small disagreement, and we melt under the weight of feeling we will never measure up.
So, if this is you today, scroll back up and read that quote one more time:
Your worth is not determined by someone’s ability to appreciate it.
I know. I’m still rereading it, too.
We will grow together. We will stretch together. And we will read this together until we get it.
Words often bounce around in the brain, and although, you’ve read them and comprehend the language, it might take longer to understand it within your heart.
You are enough.
You’re not too much or too little.
You’re not over the top or under the bar level.
You’re not pressing too deep or living too shallow.
You are enough.
And how do I know this?
Because He tells me so.
And that is enough.
Now, to just read that quote one more time.
I might truly get it this time around…
Your worth is not determined by someone’s ability to appreciate it!
For You formed my inward parts; You covered me in my mother’s womb. I will praise You, for I am fearfully andwonderfully made; Marvelous are Your works, And that my soul knows very well.
Psalm 139:13-14
But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.
Being in the church culture these days, I hear much said about what a Christian should or shouldn’t say, how a Christian should or shouldn’t respond.
There’s always a new vantage point, a new opinion they needs to be heard, and typically, there will be two or three in oration at various times, even if these are in opposition to one another.
So, who is right and who is wrong?
Who are we to listen to?
Who are we to follow?
Well, for Jesus followers, the answer is abundantly clear, or at least, it would be argued that it “should be.”
Yet, even in the Church Body, there are varying opinions, beliefs and denominations that cause us all to land at various points of standards concerning any one given “biblical rule.”
So again, who is right and who is wrong?
Who are we to listen to?
Who are we to follow?
We definitely need to start in the Word of God. If you claim to be a Jesus follower, that truly should be your book of preference for daily living and lifestyle.
And then, we definitely should start with the life of Christ. If He’s your main guy, then mirroring His examples will definitely be helpful.
And finally, starting with the specific things God loves (there are seven actually listed in specificity), and maybe the greatest commandments of which Jesus Himself spoke might be great beginning.
By the time I do these three suggestions to their fullness, it’s usually bedtime, and I don’t have a lot more time to add more opinions or fingers to point toward all the things everyone might be getting wrong.
Maybe we should all take a step back and begin again.
Maybe we should all take a moment in front of the mirror and take a really long, hard look inside.
Maybe we should grab His love letter to us and begin reading for what it has for US and to convince US instead of all it doesn’t have for THEM and has to condemn THEM.
And maybe, just maybe, by the time we do these three things, we will have given enough time for Him to begin to change us from the inside out.
And then, maybe there will begin to be a whole lot less wrong AMONG US, and we can become a whole lot more effective FOR HIM…
But when the Pharisees heard that He had silenced the Sadducees, they gathered together. Then one of them, a lawyer, asked Him a question, testing Him, and saying, “Teacher, which is the great commandment in the law?” Jesus said to him, “‘You shall love the Lordyour God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.’ This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like it: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ On these two commandments hang all the Law and the Prophets.”
Matthew 22:34-40
And why do you look at the speck in your brother’s eye, but do not consider the plank in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me remove the speck from your eye’; and look, a plank is in your own eye? Hypocrite! First remove the plank from your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.
Matthew 7:3-5
Beware of false prophets, who come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly they are ravenous wolves. You will know them by their fruits. Do men gather grapes from thornbushes or figs from thistles? Even so, every good tree bears good fruit, but a bad tree bears bad fruit.A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, nor can a bad tree bear good fruit. Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. Therefore by their fruits you will know them.
My journey didn’t stop with mere time travel or writing; it led me to become one of the most sought-after empaths, a soulful psychic who reads the hidden depths of the human spirit. I’ve been blessed—or perhaps burdened—with an ability that allows me to feel the emotions of people from every corner of time.
I am a licensed psychologist based in Greece. My love for housekeeping has inspired me to create this blog about home management and family relationships. I hope you enjoy reading as much as I enjoyed writing!
Dedicated to movie nerdom, nostalgia, and escape. In the late 90s, I worked at Blockbuster Video where they let me take home two free movies a day. I caught up on the classics and reviewed theatrical releases for Denver 'burbs newspapers and magazines. Today, while raising two young, beautiful daughters with my amazing wife, I look forward to anything rated R and not Bluey. Comments and dialogue encouraged!
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