honesty

Remember Your Purpose

/ The WheatandTares / 1 Comment


I hear the screams “Hypocrisy! … Hypocrite! … Deceit!” Yet, the very ones whose mouths move are of that reputation. 

I hear the cries for “Justice! … Unity! … Peace!” Yet, the very fists raised are fighting against the solution. 

I hear the rants toward “Hatred … Cruelty … Death!” Yet, the very teeth chattering gnash against reason and resolution. 

My brothers speak ill of another as result of simple disagreements and competition. My sisters spin vicious webs of gossip as a conclusion of jealousy and conceit. Yet, we call ourselves children of a King. 

Can I tell you, THIS OUGHT NOT BE! 

Where is the love of Christ? Where is the discipleship of a Savior? Are we His followers, or are we just playing a game? How can we reach them when we cannot reach each other? How can we share love if we cannot give love?

This world needs Truth. 

This world needs Love. 

This world needs Hope. 

This world needs Redemption. 

We were placed here for a purpose, and that purpose is His and His alone. That purpose is to find the lost, and let them be found! That purpose is to bring Him glory even if it means bringing us shame. 

Let us remember. 

Let us never forget. 

He is our purpose. 

He is our goal. 

“Therefore if there is any consolation in Christ, if any comfort of love, if any fellowship of the Spirit, if any affection and mercy, fulfill my joy by being like-minded, having the same love, being of one accord, of one mind. Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself. Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others.” Phil. 2:1-4

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Looks Can Be Deceiving

/ The WheatandTares / 6 Comments

Have you ever been deceived simply by the look of something (or someone)? I know I have. You can scroll on social media for this truth to be revealed in a matter of seconds.

I thought of this reality as I took a picture of part of my lunch the other day…

 Look at it. It looks like such an incredibly healthy lunch. Life coaches all over would be so proud of me eating zucchini, cucumbers, carrots with hummus and a huge bowl full of fruit! Let me tell you, it was delicious, but what I’m going to tell you next might be surprising… I didn’t eat all of what’s pictured here, and I, also, ate a piece of pizza and a handful of fried pickles!

Sorry, only two were left when I thought to grab my camera!

Now, I really didn’t write all this to debate the merits of healthy foods or even brag on what I had for lunch. I am sharing all this to emphasize a point: Looks can be deceiving, and in this modern age, where technology reigns supreme, those looks can become downright atrocious!

The Word tells us to guard our hearts, for everything we do flows from it. (Prov. 4:23) We must keep it honest. We must keep our minds pure. We must maintain a standard of integrity even when we think no one is looking.

Let’s get real. Everything you see posted on Facebook, Instagram and every other social medium, isn’t always the truth. Sometimes, people will post falsehoods to help themselves feel better, to outshine someone else, or to simply draw better attention than they would have otherwise, but what is it worth in the end? Nothing! It only leads to heartache, loneliness, anger and despair.

So, be truthful with one another. Be real. Don’t put forth a bunch of junk. For those who long for a real relationship with you deserve the truth, and even more so, your own soul deserves it. If all we have portrayed is fallacies and deception, the long term consequences are so much worse than the short term truths ever would have been. Your heart needs truth to reign supreme for your life to uphold dignity, grace and integrity.

“Keep your heart with all diligence, For out of it spring the issues of life. Put away from you a deceitful mouth, And put perverse lips far from you. Let your eyes look straight ahead, And your eyelids look right before you. Ponder the path of your feet, And let all your ways be established. Do not turn to the right or the left; Remove your foot from evil.” Proverbs 4:23-27

Wednesday’s Ode #29

/ The WheatandTares

I love AUTHENTICITY.

It seems, we lack so much of it today. There are those who act happy when they’re mad. Others act downtrodden when, inside, they are elated by the “gracious giving” they receive. Some pretend to choose right simply to plan an attack. Still others, rebel against peace believing they’ll, somehow, reveal it.

When we strive to live within a contrived shell, it will eventually choke the very life we seek. When we strain to paint a pretty picture, when the interior is filled with death and disease, we desecrate our own attempt of majesty. When we give the illusion of stability and grace when there is only chaos and sin,  we diminish the only integrity and character to succeed. 

This whole world benefits when we are authentic. It doesn’t mean we all agree. It doesn’t mean we all tolerate. It does mean we can breathe without fear of suffocation. It does mean we have freedom to live and speak and share without sheltering truth from those who don’t believe as we do. When we are authentic, and we allow others to be authentic, we may not live in perfect harmony; yet, we will create a beautiful symphony to be heard. 

Partial obedience is still disobedience

/ The WheatandTares

1 John 2:3-6, “We know that we have come to know him if we keep his commands. Whoever says, “I know him,” but does not do what he commands is a liar, and the truth is not in that person. But if anyone obeys his word, love for God[a] is truly made complete in them. This is how we know we are in him: Whoever claims to live in him must live as Jesus did.”

If JMan is playing in the road and I see a car he doesn’t, I’m going to tell him to get out of the road immediately! If he only moved to one side of the road, this is disobedience, and he can still get hurt! His life may depend on his COMPLETE obedience of my command to him.  
If JGrizz isn’t supposed to be on his phone after a certain hour, but he decides that he’s Just got to make one more phone call 30mins later, that’s still disobedience; even though, he is only making one call. Now, this one phone call of disobedience might not cost him his life; yet, it could possibly lead him down a path that, later on, he’ll wish to God he hadn’t taken! No matter how big or small the “event” may appear in the moment, disobedience always comes with a cost. 

Sometimes, I think we act this same way with God. He gives us a directive, even a command in His Word, and we obey it, but only to a certain extent. We obey, but only till it costs us a little more than we’re willing to give. We might even try convincing ourselves that we are obeying Him, because, “after all, He doesn’t really want us to be suffering or unhappy, does He?”

Abraham was told to take his promised son, Isaac, on top of mount Mariah and sacrifice him. God didn’t tell Him the outcome. God didn’t say to him, “Well, you can take a little lamb with you, too; so, you’ll be convinced, ahead of time, of my provision.” No, all Abraham was told to do was take his son up the side of a mountain and kill him!! 

Now, I don’t know about you, but honestly, I can’t say, right now, that I could happily comply with that! Abraham obeyed to the full extent, and it looked as if his full obedience would cost him his dream! This dream for which he had hoped and believed for YEARS…God told him he would father nations when he was 75…Sarah birthed Isaac when Abraham was 100 years old!! … That’s 25 YEARS!! God then told him to sacrifice his dream. That’s some heavy obedience which he did; yet, Abraham FULLY BELIEVED God would fulfill and keep His promise to him! 

I wonder if we often hesitate to fully obey, because we don’t fully believe… Sure, we believe when it’s easy. We believe when things are good, but what about when He tells us to speak His name to a nonbeliever who might just ridicule us? What about when He calls us to a ministry that might be a little scary when we’ve got to leave our home, our family, our friends, maybe even our homeland? What about when He asks us to give Him our whole tithes? You know, not just the “extra, off the top of a recent overtime weekend,” tithes, but that consistent 10% when our weekly budget barely cuts it now? What about when He leads us to give up that meal to spend the hour in prayer with Him? There are so many more I could list… 

THAT kind of obedience can be challenging, can’t it? That kind of obedience can make us dig down deep, not just in our pockets, but in the depths of our soul. We have to ask ourselves in that moment, “Do I really trust God enough to obey Him? Do I really believe the promises He’s given me?” In His Word, He promised us, time and again, that when we obey, there are things He will do. We just simply have to believe and to obey. 
Let me give you a few examples:
“…if my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and I will forgive their sin and will heal their land.” 2 Chronicles 7:14. 

“Follow my decrees and be careful to obey my laws, and you will live safely in the land.” Leviticus 25:18

““Be strong and very courageous. Be careful to obey all the law my servant Moses gave you; do not turn from it to the right or to the left, that you may be successful wherever you go.” Joshua 1:7

I know, I know, these are just OT commands, right? After all, we “live by grace now,” right?? …maybe you’d like for me to give a few NT Scriptures instead…

“Very truly I tell you, whoever obeys my word will never see death.” John 8:51

Jesus replied, “Anyone who loves me will obey my teaching. My Father will love them, and we will come to them and make our home with them.” John 14:23

“Therefore, my dear friends, as you have always obeyed—not only in my presence, but now much more in my absence—continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill his good purpose.” Philippians 2:12-13

I have found, when we half-way obey Christ, too often, we miss His BEST for us. We miss out on His joy, His peace, His rest. Sometimes, just as I gave the illustration of my son getting halfway out of the road, when we just obey God half-way, we might even put ourselves in harm’s way! God doesn’t give us commands to follow simply to control us or to make our lives miserable. He gives us instruction to protect us, provide for us and to give us the very BEST He can give us!! Our complete obedience is for our complete good!

Partial obedience is still disobedience, but oh, the sweet promises we enjoy when we give Him our full obedience!!

“If you keep my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commands and remain in his love. I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete. My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you.” John 15:10-12   (italics, mine) 

Assuming

/ The WheatandTares

Expectations. 

Assumptions. 

We all have them. We all give them. Yet, sometimes, I think we have too many, and we assert them too quickly…let’s be real for a minute…I know I do, at times…and I’m working on that.

We can’t assume we know the person nor from whence they come lest the road alongside them we travel. This can, especially, happen in the blogging world, can’t it? Let me give you an example of what I’m talking about…

I was reading a blog entry on day, and this young woman had written about the man she was missing. “…can’t breathe. Can’t sleep….sad…he’s been gone two years…” The impression was, for me, she was missing him from death. I commented to her of prayers for her loss, praying she would find comfort and grace. Then, as I read other comments, and her response, I come to realize the guy just keeps coming back and leaving. Ok, so, that was a little annoying! (Just being honest here) At first, I felt bad for her, as she grieved; however, it seemed to, now, be a pattern which she was allowing. That isn’t true grief; that’s being used and making room for it. 
Another blog entry from someone else showed pictures of beauty, words of joy. It was inspiring, encouraging. After I sent a comment, the reply I received proved she was heartbroken and desperate.
We truly can never judge a book by its cover. We can never judge a life by its appearance and, sometimes, not even by their spoken words. There are so many hurting, dying people in this world, and they will simply paint a face of happiness to shield them from further pain. They will simply withdraw; so, no one realizes the depression…because, after all, the outside world never really understands that emotion much anyway. If you don’t believe me, just open the paper and read of the heartbreaking suicides where the friends state they had no clue the person was unstable, because they simply did their job and went home. 

We can only truly know a person’s heart when we walk hand in hand, when we gently ask and are allowed inside the gates of a guarded soul, when they allow us to see their vulnerability and their truth. Sometimes, this can come simply by asking. There are those who are just waiting for someone to show they care. There are others with whom it will take days, months or even years to crack the solid built encasing of their heart, because they have fortified it for years. 

We have to determine how much we truly care and how much time we are willing to give in each relationship. Sometimes, we are too busy to give the adequate care, and so, we simply assume a certain thing, and never try to understand. Other times, we don’t have the right tools to do the hard work of listening and learning, because, after all, that’s not our personality, not our gifting, or even, not our calling. Often, it may be that the other person doesn’t have the ability to give, because so much has been taken from them. The stories and scenarios are endless. It’s so hard to know. 

Yet, for those whom we truly love, for those with whom we find our worlds colliding, we must be able to give the time and attention to break down the expectations and put away the assumptions so that true friendships and deep relationships will last. We may not understand, but the longer we walk the road together, we can learn together. We begin to see “by and by.” 

Comfortable Skin Livin’

/ The WheatandTares / 2 Comments

“Don’t embarrass me!” …So many people have an almost paranoia of being embarrassed in front of others. Some are indifferent to the feeling, and some are so brazen that they seem to not care, while still others have grown comfortable enough with their own flaws that they generally don’t care what others say or think of them. If you’re human, I’d say you probably fall into one of these categories.

We all have SOMETHING about ourselves that we really don’t like, something that’s different, odd, maybe even embarrassing. Depending on our own personalities, openness and confidence level, we may or may not feel comfortable with others seeing these flaws. Maybe it’s a toe or a finger that is slightly bent or longer than it ‘should’ be. Maybe it’s a set of teeth you wished would’ve had braces set so long ago. Maybe you speak too fast, too slow, too much, or just not enough. Maybe it’s a limp, a lazy eye, or even just a smile that you don’t feel ‘measures up’ to the world around you.

If you lean toward the category of people who get embarrassed easily, or those who don’t like to get embarrassed, no matter how sensitive or tough-skinned you like to portray to others that you are, then this post is written for you. If you are totally comfortable in your own skin, you don’t care one whit about what others think of you, and you just can’t believe that I would ever be concerned about embarrassments, because, after all, you’ve never been embarrassed a day in your life…well, then you might just want to skip this blog today, because this message might not be what you’re looking for. However, for those who might fall into one of those other categories, ones of not really having a love for public humiliation, please feel free to read on… 🙂

Personally, I really don’t like embarrassments. I like to try and maintain a stoic attitude, one that is strong and capable of taking whatever life swings my way, but deep down, I’m a pretty sensitive creature. Now, don’t confuse that with “high maintenance.” I work hard to not throw my expectations, personal standards and sensitivities onto others, but I will blush at some of the silliest things, and I will tear up or ‘shrink back’ from the boldest of embarrassments. I’m just hardwired that way. I have quirks and particulars about my personality that I really try to get over; yet, I find myself “stumbling” over them from time to time. I have things about my body, my thinking and my abilities that I really wish could be different, better, or maybe at least, ‘the same’ as someone else I know. I really try to be comfortable in my own skin, and many times, I succeed. However, I am an incredibly introverted person, one who was raised around the “good old Southern Belle” mentalities, believing a lady should be first and foremost feminine and gentile, and on top of all this, I am an incredibly private person, not caring for the general public to “know all my business.” So, when my ‘business’ becomes public, I would just rather run and hide than to pick up my embarrassing trait, shake off my stubborn pride, smile and walk on by valiantly. I’d rather crawl under a log and disappear than to stand tall with humility and grace and endure the heat rising to my cheekbones and soaking my eyes with its truth.

It’s tough, sometimes, to keep your wits about you when you feel the spotlight of life glaring so brightly that you need shades just to see the road ahead, but if I’m to leave a legacy of truth and grace behind me, there are moments I must square my shoulders and smile the biggest smile of my life and walk right back up those stairs I just tumbled down. I must, daily, grow more comfortable in this skin God has given me and realize life isn’t perfect, I’m not perfect, and neither is anyone else I know, save One…and He is my ultimate goal! I must learn over and over again that it’s okay not to be like everyone else, and it’s okay to stand out from the crowd if the foundation upon which I stand is solid truth and the cause for which I fight is one of integrity and faith. This concept can be especially difficult to learn and to teach, when you have a teen or a young child in the house,  but we must remember the paths we set in place today are the footsteps they we follow tomorrow. How we react, when we get embarrassed, will determine the mood of the home, and it will set the stage for how they will respond when others see their flaws, how they will react to teasing and how they feel about themselves. What we live out before them speaks volumes of truth and character into their lives, or it screams at them to lie, to bully, to deceive and to shrink away from responsibilities and anything else that becomes difficult. Our words, our character and our actions are a living example from which they learn, grow and develop into a man or a woman.

If we can grow comfortable in our own skin, realizing God has created us to be us, as an individual, if we can handle mishaps with grace and generosity, we will teach our children how to stand strong in the midst of embarrassment, adversity and failure. If we can hold our tongue when we’d prefer to lash out in anger, or when we’d rather speak boldly with pride, proclaiming our rights, regardless of our failures, we will teach our children how to be humble in their confidence, solid in their self-esteem and gracious to those they encounter who may not admire or even like the way they act or speak.

We must set the stage for those coming behind us. We must blaze this path called life with integrity, honesty and character. We must be able to be comfortable enough in our own skin that we can be okay with who God has created us to be. We must be honest and humble enough with our own flaws that we recognize we may not be the best, but we’re a “work in progress,” and with God’s help, we can do anything in this life. We must carry enough integrity within and have enough character without to be able to graciously say to our opposers, “You and I may be different, and we may never agree on that subject, but we can agree to disagree and continue standing our ground. We can be different and go our separate ways.” We must become comfortable enough in our skin to say, “That sure was an embarrassment to me today, but it’s not the end of the world. I will survive, and you will to!” When we become comfortable in our own skin, honest about our own frailties and weaknesses and confident enough in who God created us to be, we will shine brightly for all those who follow behind in this world turned gray.

“For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.” Psalm 139:13-14