hope

Never Let Go (of Hope)

/ The WheatandTares / 1 Comment

For years, I prayed for a change, for a difference…I prayed for a miracle, really. For more than 20 years, I prayed these two would makes a change; so, we could have the life and the relationships for which I so longed. I knew God could only do so much, for He will never force a man’s will, and the rest would be left to that man. Oh, that human will can be so very stubborn! I was clinging to the last bit of hope in my heart when we got the call…the news was not good; frankly, it was terrible. Shortened days…a shortened life. Surgery impending. Death probable. How could this be? He was bigger than life! He had been the biggest part of my life. He was supposed to be invincible. My sons were supposed to know him and love him like I did. This wasn’t fair! Often, life just isn’t fair. It doesn’t play favorites. It rains on the just and on the unjust. So, we waited. Then, it happened. A vision was seen. His glory was revealed to the heart. A life was rededicated. His faith and his fate were forever sealed. I rejoiced as one lifelong prayer was answered; yet, I wondered, “Could we possibly get another?” Maybe it was just too good of a dream to imagine. Almost 15 years later, my heart had almost given up hope that a change could ever occur. After all, prayers had been sent up for over 35 years. Maybe that human will was going to win out this time… Out of the blue, a mistaken email reveals possibilities, a glimmer of hope. Could it be? Could it possibly be true? I stand in awe to testify of God’s mercy and grace, of His awesome love being shown through a man whom many had counted as forever lost. God is good. Are all things perfect? Are things as they once should have been? Sadly, I must confess, some things are simply lost as the water rushes under that bridge of time. Yet, we will not dwell on yesterday’s regrets, nor will we miss the precious gifts of the present. If we did, we would overlook the beautiful promises of the future! Sometimes, you just have to take the baby steps of grace today; so, you can bask in the love of His tomorrow. So, never let go of hope, for hope is the only thing which brings true life back into our prayers.

“Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.” Hebrews 11:1

The Road

/ The WheatandTares

  

Up, down, down, up
Go, go, go

Around the bend.
Wheels grinding.
Lights blinding.

Where do they go?
When will it end?

Meaningless motion.
Mindless emotion.
Mindful potion.

Where do they come from?
Who will they send?

Thoughts grimmer.
Hearts dimmer.
This road that never ends.

Go, go, go
Up, down, down, up.

Only you can make it stop.

Happy Valentine’s Day

/ The WheatandTares / 4 Comments

IMG_9457 As I sat in a memorial today to celebrate the homecoming of a life well lived, I thought about love, life, faith and death. I thought about the wife of the deceased who had been married for 53 years. I thought of the precious lady who sat beside me who, just a few short months ago, had said goodbye to her husband after so many years of loving each other. I thought of the young man I would see just a few minutes later, who just lost his wife to an organ transplant failure. Surrounded by so much grief, I wondered how it could possibly be Valentine’s Day today.

So many getting ready for their ‘hot dates’ tonight. Others bragging about all the candy, cards and roses they had received. My husband and myself exchanging our love just a few hours before, yet, waiting to truly celebrate until tomorrow because of all that we were a part of today. I thought of those who grieve today. I thought of those who are heartbroken, abused, deserted, lost and alone. It’s not such a heart-filled, sunshiny day for those. What do we say to them?

What do we say when our hearts are so filled with joy, excitement and laughter? What do we do when their grief seems to cast a shadow on our smile? Do we tell them just to “Get over it…tomorrow will be brighter…you’ll simply feel better later on…?” Are we really that shallow to forget how it feels to have a shattered dream and an empty heart? Are we really that naive not to know? What are we to do?

As I sat beside my widowed friend, and as I said goodbye to my other friend’s man, my heart broke for their brokenness. My eyes shed tears as they shed. My day was just a little more gray as I encountered my third friend’s grief in saying goodbye to her daughter-in-law and comforting her weeping son. Yet, as I walked away to go have a Valentine’s lunch with my little family, I breathed the air in deeply and thanked my Father above for these moments, not just the joys of my men but, as well, the pains of my friends. These times when I truly see reality. These moments when authenticity, vulnerability and honesty are raw and unedited, exposing the tender hearts within.

For, it is in moments like these when we grow a little wiser. In these hours, we learn to love a little deeper and let our trust become more secure. If it weren’t for the hard places in life, we would never learn where our faith truly lies. We’d never realize the value of a friend, the depth of love in our family, the importance in a given moment. It is said, “There is more wisdom in the house of mourning than in the house of laughter” (Paraphrased, Ecclesiastes 7:2). As my heart broke again and again for my friends, it caused me to appreciate, even more, the later moments with my men. It caused me to be keenly aware of my husband’s handsome smile, my JMan’s innocent laughter, and the love behind JGrizz’s witty remark, “Of course, I love you. It’s Valentine’s Day, isn’t it?” 😉 These precious occasions made me live life a little fuller.

So, as this Valentine’s Day is coming to an end, maybe you’ve spent a wonderful day with your love(s), maybe your dealing with a broken heart from a love that’s been lost, or maybe you’ve recently had to say a heart wrenched goodbye as your love entered eternity. Maybe this day just doesn’t seem as cheer-filled as it once had been, but no matter the circumstance in which you find yourself tonight, I pray you will hold tight the love you have, the joy you once had and the memories you’ve made along the way. I pray you’ll look toward the future and know He is still in control. Look forward and see that there’s still hope. I pray you hold all theses things close to your heart and realize there’s a heavenly Father above who’s looking down and sending you His eternal, unconditional love. YOU are the object of His affection tonight. He truly loves you! His love for is beyond your very hopes and dreams. His love for you died that you might live. ❤

“For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him.” John 3:16-17

Grace and Mercy

/ The WheatandTares / 2 Comments

Bruised, shaking fists
Clenched, knuckle-white hands
Twisted face

Tightly closed-shut eyes
Letting in not a droplet of light
A life branded by pain
Where is the grace?
Where is the mercy?

A life cut short.
An unexplained sin.
A life-long disease.

The wounded, wound.
The pained cause pain.
The abused, abuse.

Oh, God, my heart grieves.
My eyes weep till tears are no more.
My knuckles are bloody from the pain.
Where is the grace?
Where is the mercy?

The flowers are denied their bloom.
The sun refuses to rise to give any warmth.
The wind will not send the breeze.

The world has turned gray.
The laughter is silent for miles.
The innocence has been hidden.
When will this pain end?
When will this grief hide?

This brokenness, a bloody mess.

These wounds and scars too deep to heal.
We clutch at life. No heartbeat is felt.
The air is toxic. No breath can be found.
Where is Your grace?
Where is Your mercy now?

It is found at the cross.
That bleeding, broken, wretched place. That is where Your grace abounds.
As You watched Your own Son die, You saw our sin. You saw our redemption.
It was there, Your grace and mercy from death began its prevention.

We only see what isn’t.
The grief. The emptiness. The death. We live with the loss.
The regret. The shame. The failure.
We see only the holes on the canvas of life.
Never realizing the void can be filled again with a joy that overflows, a love that is unconditional, a grace that is unending.

In the pain, knowledge is built.
In the sorrow, wisdom is rendered.
Emotions raw and undone.
Words broken and unsung.
How can we find this grace?
How can we receive this mercy?

Run into His loving arms.
Take His guiding hand to lead, to love.
Living breathless or breathless living.
Living fully or lifeless living.
More than alive or just less than dead.
We choose. We decide. We live life or death.

Penned – MG – 1/23/15

Joy and Gratitude

/ The WheatandTares / 1 Comment

2015/01/img_9402.png Is the height of my [abundant] joy dependent upon the depths of my [grateful] thanks?
– Ann Voskamp, One Thousand Gifts*

As I read this book, and ponder this thought, I am challenged to live beyond my current state of stagnant being. I have more to give. I have more to experience. I have more to live.

Too often, we miss the abundance of joy, because we fail to recognize our lack of gratitude that is blinding us to His truths. When we humbly appreciate His grace, when we kindly receive His mercy, these are the moments we truly live. We are freed from the weight of expectation. The cage of our own ideals is broken and crushed. We are able to take flight and fully live.

Grace. Thanksgiving. Joy. The true meaning of life. The true life to living.
Joy in the moment. Life in the minute of giving thanks… These are all wrapped up in heartfelt conversations with Him.

This is why I have begun my own personal list of one thousand gifts. I need this like I need air to breathe. This will be my eucharisteo, my praise, my joy. This will be my message of gratitude to my Creator and my God.

I began 2 days ago, and I am just shy of reaching 100. Will you join me this year? This list to 1,000 may take a little while to pen down, especially if we do it right. Will you join me in reading her book; so, you can further understand this incredible concept and, with me, become challenged to live fully right there in the place you have found yourself to be?? Will you join me in penning your One Thousand Gifts?

“The only real fall of man is his noneucharistic life in a noneucharistic world” -Alexander Schmemann, For the Life of the World: Sacraments and Orthodoxy*

*Both quotes from One Thousand Gifts: A Dare to Live Fully Right Where You Are, by Ann Voskamp. Find her book and more info. here.

**I do not personally know this author, not have I been asked to promote her book in any way. I have simply been inspired by her words, and my hope is others will read this and be inspired as well. 🙂

Ever Striving

/ The WheatandTares / 1 Comment

We work. We strive.
We sweat. We strain.
For what gain?
We toil for all these earthly things.
We forsake the precious for the temporal.
Eternity waits; yet, we strive.

We push. We pull.
We twist. We bend.
For what end?
We scrape to grasp the material.
We lose hold of the treasure for the momentary.
Eternity groans; yet, we strive.

When will we see?
These are as things shouldn’t be.
We abandon the truth for a lie.
We sell our souls only for what money can buy.
The sacred forgotten. The value has been lost.
We can’t even see it’s our very lives that it costs.

Penned -MG – 1/23/15

The Battle Rages

/ The WheatandTares

There is a war down deep within.
It is a battlefield of purity and sin.
A struggle for what can be and what forever has been.
The one we feed the most is the one who will always win.

Everyday, this battle rages.
It has continued throughout the ages.
Through sin it has promised, death, its only wages.
Proven again and again throughout history’s pages.

A flesh-filled life gives in to every whim
It holds you in its grasp as your light slowly dims.
The lamp of salvation burns, the wick is always trim.
Hope fills the void, joy overflows the life that once was grim.

A life of peace, to you, He longs to bring.
Hope, love and joy in abundance, He has these things.
He takes away the pain. He heals those life stings.
Your name is called, throughout eternity it rings.

Away from heartache and brokenness it is you He tries to lure.
To the end, he wants to take you if, faithfully, you’ll endure.
Every ill thought and lifeless promise, he longs to allure.
Your precious heart, when freely given, always, He makes pure.

Choices to choose come like a tidal wave.
The easy and popular, the flesh always craves
To choose long-lasting peace, your heart must be brave.
It is your soul He wants, for eternity, to save.

Penned – MG – 1/23/15

Draw Nigh To Him

/ The WheatandTares

Life is so very, very seared;

Be sure not to let it pass you on by.

Jesus promised that He would always be near,

But first, unto Him, you must draw nigh.

His love for you is very, very deep;

Sometimes, it can almost seem intoxicating.

Yet, He is such a gentleman, merciful and meek;

His love is never made to be suffocating.

This world is so very, very impure;

It will always turn your ’round and ’round.

He longs to give you a hope and a future;

He wants to free you from these chains you are bound.

His time is so very, very uncertain;

We cannot know the hour or the day.

Turn to Him before they draw a curtain;

Surrender your heart or be eternally swayed.

Penned – MG – 10/31/03

The reflection

/ The WheatandTares

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What is in a reflection?

A face

A memory

A smile

A tear

All the changes through the years.

The light is changing.

The light is bright.

Let your life shine tonight.

A Season For Tears…A Season For Cheer

/ The WheatandTares

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Yesterday, I was so emotional all day, I felt I had to hold back the tears with all my might. It all began when I read a Facebook status update from a friend and relative who has lost her grandmother and grandfather within almost a month of each other and how she is struggling with the grief while trying to maintain a cheerful home for her children during the holidays. The feelings just washed over me like a tidal wave of how much I miss my own grandfather, even though, he’s been gone for over 12 years now. So much changed within my family after his death, and without him here, it will never be the same. Christmas has never been the same without him.

Several times throughout the day, I thought of him, and I began thinking of so many who have lost a mom, a dad, a child, or another loved one during this past year and even those who have lost someone during the past several years. I, also, thought of so many families I know who are facing divorce, or have already divorced, and even though their significant other hasn’t died physically, their love has died, and that is as painful as the reality of death. Losing a precious family member or friend makes the holidays a little tougher to handle. It makes the cheer and the joy of the season seem a little less festive, and sometimes, it makes it a lot less festive, maybe not even worth celebrating at all. Often, losing a loved one, especially those who filled such a huge part of our heart and our home, makes the Christmas season almost unbearable. Everyone else is cheerful, excited and filled with joy for all the wonderful things that bring the love of Christmas, and our world has just turned a little more gray from the loss of color with which our loved one took away.

If you are one whose world is a little more gray today, there is hope! It’s not a fairy tale, and it’s not a fallacy. It’s not a plastic mask which you wear just to convince your family that you’re okay. It’s, also, not a “snap of the finger and you’re perfect” solution, and it’s not a formula nor is it a potion or a thought. It’s not even an “it.” It’s a person, a Messiah, a Savior and a King.

His name is Jesus. He can comfort your heart and encourage your soul. He can give you peace which surpasses understanding. He can consume your mind with good thoughts, and He can give you a reason to get up one more day. He is HOPE. He is LOVE. He is LIFE, and He can give you all this and more. All you have to do is call on His name, and He will answer. He will wrap you in His arms of love, and He will give you purpose again. All you have to do is just trust Him.

For all of us who have learned to cope with the deep scars of loss, and for those who have yet to experience this heart-wrenching pain, maybe we can be a little kinder to those who are hurting this Christmas season. Maybe we can be a little more attentive to those who may not feel as festive as we expect them to be. Maybe we can share a little more love, a little more encouragement, a little more hope. Those of us who have found this One Hope who helps us survive through the darkest of nights, we must share Him with those around us. We must share this Hope with a hurting and desperate world. We must share why our Christmas is so Merry.

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“For to us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders. And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.”  Isaiah 9:6