A Season For Tears…A Season For Cheer

December 14, 2014December 15, 2016 / The WheatandTares

Yesterday, I was so emotional all day, I felt I had to hold back the tears with all my might. It all began when I read a Facebook status update from a friend and relative who has lost her grandmother and grandfather within almost a month of each other and how she is struggling with the grief while trying to maintain a cheerful home for her children during the holidays. The feelings just washed over me like a tidal wave of how much I miss my own grandfather, even though, he’s been gone for over 12 years now. So much changed within my family after his death, and without him here, it will never be the same. Christmas has never been the same without him.

Several times throughout the day, I thought of him, and I began thinking of so many who have lost a mom, a dad, a child, or another loved one during this past year and even those who have lost someone during the past several years. I, also, thought of so many families I know who are facing divorce, or have already divorced, and even though their significant other hasn’t died physically, their love has died, and that is as painful as the reality of death. Losing a precious family member or friend makes the holidays a little tougher to handle. It makes the cheer and the joy of the season seem a little less festive, and sometimes, it makes it a lot less festive, maybe not even worth celebrating at all. Often, losing a loved one, especially those who filled such a huge part of our heart and our home, makes the Christmas season almost unbearable. Everyone else is cheerful, excited and filled with joy for all the wonderful things that bring the love of Christmas, and our world has just turned a little more gray from the loss of color with which our loved one took away.

If you are one whose world is a little more gray today, there is hope! It’s not a fairy tale, and it’s not a fallacy. It’s not a plastic mask which you wear just to convince your family that you’re okay. It’s, also, not a “snap of the finger and you’re perfect” solution, and it’s not a formula nor is it a potion or a thought. It’s not even an “it.” It’s a person, a Messiah, a Savior and a King.

His name is Jesus. He can comfort your heart and encourage your soul. He can give you peace which surpasses understanding. He can consume your mind with good thoughts, and He can give you a reason to get up one more day. He is HOPE. He is LOVE. He is LIFE, and He can give you all this and more. All you have to do is call on His name, and He will answer. He will wrap you in His arms of love, and He will give you purpose again. All you have to do is just trust Him.

For all of us who have learned to cope with the deep scars of loss, and for those who have yet to experience this heart-wrenching pain, maybe we can be a little kinder to those who are hurting this Christmas season. Maybe we can be a little more attentive to those who may not feel as festive as we expect them to be. Maybe we can share a little more love, a little more encouragement, a little more hope. Those of us who have found this One Hope who helps us survive through the darkest of nights, we must share Him with those around us. We must share this Hope with a hurting and desperate world. We must share why our Christmas is so Merry.

“For to us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders. And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.” Isaiah 9:6

Let Me Be Found True

November 16, 2014February 13, 2016 / The WheatandTares

Oh, Lord, how do I love thee?

Let me count not the ways

I speak of You in public grace

Yet, ignore You in the secret place

I praise You when it’s convenient

But neglect You when it’s intimate

I look to You when I remember and when I’m in need

However, forget You when my schedule is in the lead

Oh, Father, please forgive me from this wretched sin

Cleanse my heart and mind from within

Let me not be a person of works alone

And have not a single seed yet to be sown

Change me from this life of chaos and pride

Transform my soul to one in which You may abide

I give You my life, my heart and my breath

I surrender my dreams, my future, my death

Oh, my King, how do I love thee?

I pray You can count the ways

I desire to serve you in all my ambitions

Yet, we all have fallen short of Your suppositions

I long for the day when our eyes shall finally meet

But I fear for Your glory burns so awfully deep

I yearn to be found worthy, righteous and true

However, You spoke of many by whom Your words would be doomed

Oh, Yahweh, please conform my plans to Your ways

Mold me, make me into Your earthen vessel of clay

Redirect my words, my thoughts, my actions and deeds

Set anew my wants and reconstruct them to Your needs

I give You my life, my heart and my breath

I surrender my dreams, my future and my death

Penned – MG – 6/30/03

Be Grateful Always

November 13, 2014 / The WheatandTares / 3 Comments

All over social media this month, you can find daily posts of things for which to be thankful, what people are being thankful for, and, of course, the daily “thankful status” updates. I have noted these over the past several years, and even taken part in quite a few from time to time; however, this year, I thought maybe I’d take a little different approach by writing my “Grateful List” here on this blog (a 31-numbered list to represent every day of the month, plus a bonus), many of them including what I will call an “emphasis question,” to further prove the point, and maybe also share why I have a philosophy to be “grateful always”…

Even as you read, if you and I simply disagree on our likes and dislikes, I do encourage you to at least skip to the end and read a little more…you might find we don’t disagree as sharply as you might have first assumed. 😉

(*Look out: this is a little lengthy, but on social media, this would be a “once a day, every day for 30 days” status update…)

30 Reasons To Be Grateful (please note, after #15, these are in very random order! 🙂 )
#1 – I am thankful to love a God who loves me beyond measure, forgives me beyond reason, and redeems me beyond understanding…How could I ever ask for more?

#2 – I am thankful for a husband who seems to love me almost unconditionally. (That’s actually not humanly possibly, but I bet he comes pretty close! …you can’t tell I’m a little “love-blind,” can you? ) He is my best friend, my love, my confidante, my coach, my “cheerleader,” and my secret admirer…Why would I ever look anywhere else?

#3 – I am thankful for our two boys who bring so much life, joy and excitement into our lives! I love watching them grow, mature and become the men God has called them to be…How could life get any better than this?

#4 – I am thankful for the life I have with my little family…great God, great family, great church, great job, great town, great state, great nation (I definitely agree, it has it’s issues and problems, but hey, I’m not in prison, this land is still free, and we are still able to vote, speak, and do so many more things that are protected by our Constitution!). Sorry, that was surely too many “greats” in one sentence, but I suppose I really couldn’t help myself…Why would I want someone else’s life?

#5 – I am thankful for a terrific extended family who love mine, and me, and are willing to support “up close and personal” or “from afar,” allowing us to set the boundaries needed in the seasons of need and plenty. They are a blessing!…Why would I ever try to be demanding or have ridiculous expectations?

#6 – I am thankful for a church family who loves mine, and me, and is supportive and encouraging…not all church families are the same…Why should I ever expect perfection when we’re all just human?

#7 – I am thankful for the breath I breathe, the ability to walk, to talk, to move, to run, to rest, to do so many things in life…Why would I complain about a little ailment or pain?

#8 – I am thankful for two sons who are growing into two “fine, upstanding young men” who love God with all their hearts and have deep convictions for their faith that I know could have only come from Him above…Why would I ever try to hinder their faith or temper their passion?

#9 – I am thankful for two children who are so very different, and yet, both came from my womb. They have different personalities, different likes and dislikes, sleep and eat differently, and even share their faith with others differently; however, they both bring so much joy and feelings of pride and love to my heart…Why would I ever let differences or similarities cause me to favor one over the other?

#10 – I am thankful for the little things in life: the laughter of our boys, the breeze that blows, the wink of approval from my husband, an encouraging note sent from a friend, the simple, “Have a great day” from the Walmart check-out cashier…Why would I want to be grouchy simply because things don’t always go my way?

#11 – I am thankful for good friends…friends who are friends for life, friends who are friends for a season, and even friends who are friends only for an ‘event.’ I learn so much from these; each one leaves something for me to grow from, learn from and ponder upon…Why would I ever take for granted what we have had?

#12 – I am thankful for enemies with whom I have had an encounter, for they each sharpen my resolve, strengthen my faith, and develop my character…Why would I not want to rise up to this challenge and fight for those things I love and cherish?

#13 – I am thankful for the smiles of my children…Why would I want to cause them agony or strife?

#14 – I am thankful for the good country in which I live. As stated above, we’ve got our problems, and we’ve got our issues, of this, I am fully aware. However, this nation was founded for freedom; we still have our freedom, and for this, we can be forever thankful!…Why would I want to live elsewhere…and why would I ever want to be so focused on what’s wrong that I miss out on the stuff that’s really great?

# 15 – I am thankful for hard times and the hardships along the way, for I learn from the perseverance. I gain assurance from the trials, and I grow in character through the challenges…Why would I ever shy away from the tough seasons when it is there that I find my wisdom and grace?

#16 – I am thankful for beautiful waterfalls to hike to and upon which to gaze. There is strength in that sound…Why would I want to miss out on this beauty?

#17 – I am thankful for trees…large, small, fat, skinny, it does not matter to me; however, I do have a bias toward big, Live Oaks and large, wispy Hemlocks. There is refuge and solace among them…Why do I not climb up in those now that I’m grown?

#18 – I am thankful for the mountains…rolling hills, high and lofty, sharp and rugged. I’m not sure I have a particular preference. There is breathtaking rest on top and and incredible peace below them…Why would I want to stay on the asphalt, suffocating from the fumes every day?

#19 – I am thankful for dishes, laundry and beds to make…not because I really “like” these things, but rather, I am thankful for these items, because they are an indicator of the people who “dirty them up.” If I didn’t have these to clean, it would indicate these people, whom I deeply love, were no longer here. (*note: I don’t always act so thankful for these “messes” …just another ‘work in progress.”)

#20 – I am thankful for all the people who have made, now make, and will one day continue to make up the tapestry of my life…the past, the present and the future. For these are the people who, “like iron sharpens iron,” chisel and fine tune me to be a better “me.” …Why would I want to isolate myself from this pruning and growth?

#21 – I am thankful for a car that runs smoothly and transports me and my family to wherever we must go. There are so many, all over this world, who have to walk miles and miles to arrive at their destinations…why should I get so annoyed at those who cut me off, ride my bumper or drive too slow when I’m in such a hurry?

#22 – I am thankful for the times my 13 year old son comes up to give me a hug for “no apparent reason.” These precious moments are slipping by like sand through my fingers…Why would I want to be too busy to stop and take notice?

#23 – I am thankful for clean clothes to wear, a roof over my head and food on my table. There are so many by whom this would be considered “high-cotton living.” …Why would I want to complain about what I don’t have when I have so much?

#24 – I am thankful for the moments at bedtime when my 9 year old son asks for “just one more snuggle.” This heart rendering request won’t always be spoken…Why would I want to be so consumed with motherhood responsibilities that I don’t take the extra time to show love?

#25 – I am thankful for the ability to pour my heart out with pen and paper, and, while I am living, maybe some of those words will never be read by anyone but me ; yet, maybe one day, those very words might just bring comfort, strength and refreshment to a weary soul…Why would I stifle a gift I’ve been given?

#26 – I am thankful for pure water to drink. There are many countries who don’t live with this luxury…Why would I want to be wasteful of something so life-giving?

#27 – I am thankful for the journey of this life and for the destination for which my hope awaits. The best is yet to come…Why should I be fearful of the future, the unknown?

#28 – I am thankful for sunrises, sunsets, moonrises, ocean tides, mountaintops, and all the moments in between. The memories made can never be forgotten…Why would I become so worldly focused that I miss out on these beauties of my Creator?

#29 – I am thankful for this blog and for those who read it. It is a great outlet for my pondering and a wonderful avenue for gaining knowledge, confidence and appreciation for those with my same likes and for those with more differences than mine.

#30 – I am thankful for a month where people become thankful, simply, because they are reminded there are things for which to be thankful!

#31 – I am thankful for a designated day upon which we can join together with other people, especially family and friends, and remember so many things for which we are thankful. Happy early Thanksgiving!

Well, if you read all the way to here, I am honored you stayed with me. That was quite a long list! I was thinking the same thing long about the 18th reason, and I realized I was barely over halfway done! haha. However, I am thankful (there it is again!) to have kept the tenacity to finish the list. These are things for which I am always grateful, and I’m glad that now, I have a reference point to which I can return often, especially, when my mind begins to forget a few things, and I’d rather complain than be thankful.

Perspective:
I did not write this blog, or post this list, to brag or to somehow imply I have a perfect life. I did not pen these words to try to prove everything is without trouble, sadness or pain. I simply jotted down these notes, because this is the way I live my life. I strive to see the little things and appreciate them. I strive to keep my mind on good things rather than dwelling on the bad moments of life. I seek to keep my perspective tuned into higher things, happier seasons, better memories instead of allowing my focus to become distracted by the realities of evil, fear and violence to which our times are plagued.

It’s not that I don’t have hard times, sicknesses, pain and sorrow which I encounter and see all around me. It’s not that I am blind to the suffering and turmoil of this world. I would probably have to shut myself away in a hidden cave to avoid all of this; however, it is a daily choice I make in the way that I live. It is a matter of perspective. It is a matter of choice. I will make a conscientious effort everyday to seek out truth, to search for love, to look for joy and to reach for peace.

I will choose to keep a positive outlook.

I will choose to not only be thankful one month or day out of the year.

I will choose to be grateful always.

^“…give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”

1 Thessalonians 5:18

^“Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.”

Philippians 4:8

“I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. ¹²I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. ¹³I can do all this through him who gives me strength.”

Philippians 4:11-13

The Old Gnarled Tree

November 12, 2014November 12, 2014 / The WheatandTares / 4 Comments

What caused those knots?
Blistering winds, relenting storms, sickness that threatened death? A tiny animal who burrowed its way in, stunting growth and nourishment?
Maybe it was just simply the challenge of growing upward that proved to be too hard, maybe the weight of growing older was just too heavy, and that pressure tried to bend and hinder the life of the tree.
Yet, somehow, it kept thriving, kept pushing forward, kept pressing on. Even past the knot. Even past the “pain,” always striving for greater heights, always moving beyond the simple expectations.
It kept reaching upward regardless of the hardships that came. The hindrance may have made it pause, resulting in the knots, but the tree strained and pushed beyond the limitations to continue on the path up toward the heavens.
Isn’t that how our lives should be? We will face turmoil. We will face strife. We may even face death a time or two, but where is our resolve? Where is our tenacity to carry on through the trial? Where is our strength to push back against this adversary called life and reach toward our destiny?
Don’t let the pressures of this life pull you down! Don’t let the winds of defeat threaten you and cause you to quit! You can make it through! You can do this! You can reach the end with dignity and grace. You can choose to win.
It may not be easy. It may not even be fun! Just remember there are those coming behind you who need your courage. There are those coming behind you who need your faith. Show them the way by shining in the darkness. Clear the path so that they may cross over as well.
We all have a purpose. We all have a place. Even when you feel battered and bruised, hindered and held back by the limits of this life, you have a destiny to reach.
So, keep fighting the cold; keep pushing back against the winds. Even when the twists and turns leave knots and gnarled bark in your way, Stay the course. Remain vigilant to the path. You can do this. You can win.
Just remain. Just have faith. Just believe.

“Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 3:13-14

Down the Road a bit

November 6, 2014November 6, 2014 / The WheatandTares

Just down the road a bit, we shall have no pain. We shall have no sickness. We shall have no sorrow or strife.

Just down the road a bit, we will have no more heartache. We will have no brokenness. We will have no more hatred or violence.

Just down the road a bit, we will rest in comfort. We will lie down in peace. We will walk and not grow weary. We will rejoice and live in heaven forevermore!
…Are you ready??
Just believe.

“And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes; there shall be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying. There shall be no more pain, for the former things have passed away.”
Revelation 21:4

You Are the Lord of Me

October 27, 2014 / The WheatandTares

Lord, You are my life line

You keep my heart beating

You keep my lungs breathing

You keep my mind believing

Lord, You are my stability

You keep me full of love

You keep me full of joy

You keep me full of hope

Lord, You are my refuge

You keep me safe from trouble

You keep me safe through trials

You keep me safe in tribulations

Lord, You are my future

You keep my goals in view

You keep my visions renewed

You keep my dreams alive

Lord, You are what I hope to become

I thank You, Father, with all of me

I love You, my God, Almighty

You are and always will be the Lord of me.

Penned – MG – 7/30/99

Growing Old Gracefully

October 20, 2014 / The WheatandTares / 4 Comments

I took this picture today after I had caught a reflection of myself in the mirror smiling. Earlier in the day, I had been at a wedding and ran into an old friend. We were sitting on opposite sides of the room during the ceremony, and she told me later that, when she first saw me, she hadn’t recognized who I was until I smiled. I’m not sure I’ve ever considered my smile unique; yet, after my friend said that, I started thinking…
They say it takes less muscles to smile than it does to frown; so, I enjoy smiling, sometimes, just for the sake of smiling. I smile at my love, our boys, other kiddos, babies, adults, the elderly and even animals. It only takes a second, and it’s like sharing a moment with a stranger without delving too deep. I like it when I smile as I’m introducing myself to someone, and I see the instant change that happens in the other person. That instantaneous change from fear to confidence, from intimidation to acceptance, from apprehension to warmth and welcome.
I love what an authentic, energetic smile can do for someone’s day. It can cause a baby to start cooing and tweens and teens to start laughing hysterically. (Watch it! That can be contagious!) It can make an elderly person feel loved and valued, and it can make a parent feel capable of surviving that never ending day when nothing seems to be going right! Smiles change the face upon which they are worn, and smiles can transform another person’s day! They can change the whole atmosphere of a room, and they can alter attitudes and predispositions. Smiles can change things.
That’s when I decided to smile deliberately for the rest of my days. I want to grow old gracefully; I don’t want to become an old woman shriveled up like a “prune” (metaphorically speaking), clinging to all of the bitterness of life rather than embracing the good. I want to be full of life and vigor up to my dying day. I want to grasp hold of all that is full of delight, peace and joy. I want to be like the 80+ year old ladies in our church who still have laughter in their being, who can give bear hugs that can break a rib and who always has a funny story to share about her week. I want to be one of those ladies who have such beauty within that it just seems to smooth away all the wrinkles without. I want to be full of laughter, joy, peace and love. I want to be like that until my last breath. I want to be remembered as one who captured the greatest moments in life and who seemed to forget the hardships and pain…or at least who learned from these and moved far beyond them!
I believe it’s all a matter of perspective. Life is hard. It is what it is, but we each have a choice to grasp the bitter or embrace the best. I choose to count my blessings, no matter how big or small they may be. I choose to be that little lady who, in spite of pain, turmoil and strife, sees the grace her faith provides. I choose to see, in the midst of the storm, the sunbeams peeking through the clouds. I choose to learn from the hard and live in the grace. I choose to live life deliberately, love deeply, laugh spontaneously.
I want to grow old gracefully. Lord, let it be true in my life.
“She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come…Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.” Proverbs 31:25, 30

Changes

October 16, 2014October 16, 2014 / The WheatandTares

So many things take place in one small life

So many changes, so many dreams

So many achievements, so many failures

So many memories, so many cherished things

Events happen which seemed nearly impossible

Events fail to appear which were dreamt endlessly upon

Events take on a whole new meaning

And your eyes are opened like the early morning dawn

Things change; feelings alter, and people transform, too

Nothing can forever stay the same

Smiles turn to tears, happiness to sorrow

And friendships turn to anger and the game of blame

Love turns to hate and witnessing to silence

Sharing turns to gossip and truth into lies

We need to find our change in Jesus

It is only for us and our sins that He did die

He will never change

Penned – MG – 7/30/02

Who I am and Why I’m Here

October 14, 2014October 27, 2014 / The WheatandTares / 13 Comments

On Monday, I plan to start the Blogging 201 Challenge; however, I just recently started blogging and haven’t completed the 101. I guess I’m a little fanatical of doing things in order; so, I thought I would start at the beginning and work forward until Monday. I may end up overlapping the two challenges a little, but maybe that will be okay in the eyes of the reader as you will learn more about me over a short period of time. I hope you will find this interesting and intriguing and not find it boring or an overload of information…

So, who am I and why am I here?

I am a wife, a mom and a woman of faith. I relish in the essence of truth, honesty and authenticity. I love the antiquity of life and the refreshing surprise of tomorrow. I am passionate about my family, my standards and my God. I absolutely love the mountains, waterfalls, trees and all things nature; however, I also enjoy going to plays, fancy restaurants and shopping in the city. I thrive on spending time with my husband and our boys. I’d rather be with them any day than be with any celebrity or wealthy person in the world. I guess, you could call me a little eclectic for I have an appreciation of all things antique as well as brand new. I can be touched by the oldest Hymn and “jam out” with my son listening to the newest rap artist. I suppose, you’d say I’m an introverted introvert but maybe with a little surprise hidden within, for I thrive on solitude and quiet moments; yet, my husband often calls me a “social butterfly,” because if there’s activities going on, I don’t want to miss out! I delight in the smallest of things and, often times, look at things from that very angle. I have quirks and dislikes probably much like the next person; however, I cannot stand for fabricated lies, contrived sweetness or fictitious honesty. I love to see strength in humility, courage in timidity, and boldness in righteous indignation. I admire realism, gentleness, honor, mercy and gracious love.

This blog is just my way of sharing with you a little about my journey of adventures. I have always had a passion for journaling; my bedroom shelves are lined with a huge assortment of journals from years gone past. I decided to begin this blog to hopefully make an impact on those who follow me. As I start sharing these words penned on this (“cyber”) paper, my prayer is, whether it be as a word of encouragement, exhortation, or just a simple thought of, “I’m not alone in this journey,” that God will somehow take these simple notes, “mill” them through His refining fire, and bring about His glory; thus, the reason for my calling this The Grizzle Grist. I hope you enjoy this journey with me.

Bigger Than Life

October 6, 2014October 6, 2016 / The WheatandTares

I experienced one of the greatest losses of my life 12 years ago today. You see, my grandfather was bigger than life. When he walked in a room, he owned that room. He had the personality of a John Wayne, never meeting a stranger and never afraid to “get up on that horse,” no matter how many fears he had inside. In fact, as a child, I was convinced he couldn’t possibly have any fears!

He was born in a small, no name kind of town, a son born into poverty and of low education. When he was 15, he was told by a banker he was worthless and didn’t deserve the money he was seeking. He told the man that one day he would prove him wrong, and he did just that. He began his own HVAC company, became a county commissioner, retired from his business when I was just a little girl, and went back to buy out that banker, only to find the man had already lost his place. He believed in hard work and the common decency among men. He could spin the biggest tale, keeping you entertained for hours; yet, when it came to business, he believed in integrity, fairness and an honest wage for honest work.

He stood at six feet four inches tall, wore Stetson hats and alligator boots (or the nicest, toughest boots found in the store that day), and he struck up conversation with every person he encountered on the park bench while waiting for his wife to finish shopping. He could wrestle and kill a six-foot rattler, and he’d do the same to a six-foot man if he threatened a child (which actually happened once!). He loved his wife, his two girls, and his four grands (and their spouses), even if his gruffness hid that love most of the time. He believed in taking care of what you have and working hard for what you want. One of his famous lines was, “Take care of your equipment, and your equipment will take care of you!”

He was like a Daddy to me. My mom was single for most of my childhood, and he just kind of filled in that gap. He made sure I was clothed, fed and had just about all I wanted or needed in life. He’d pick me up after school in his old Ford Ranchero, and we’d stop by the Stuckeys gas station to get some candy…that was back when you could get a piece of candy for a dime and a coke for fifty cents; so, I always loaded up with the $3-5 he gave me!
He taught me how to fish and how to clean them; although, he always handled the knives. He bought me my first car, and even though, he had the money to pay cash for it, he set me up with monthly payments; so, I could learn how to pay bills and manage a checkbook properly. He always had a bear hug waiting and would never let me leave without a little cash in my pocket. He loved me something fierce, and I loved him right back the same.

When he left this world, he took some of its color with him, and my life has never been the same. He sure wasn’t perfect, but he brought a little perfection into my world. They say, “Time heals all pain,” but I have to disagree. Time doesn’t really heal grief, only Jesus can do that. Time just simply helps you learn how to tolerate the pain and be able to “categorize it” within your own heart. It helps you to see more clearly, and if you choose it to, time allows you to help someone else along the same journey.

I’ll miss him until the day I die, and I’ll keep his memories alive for my children to remember what a great legacy we have.