life

Map It Out

/ The WheatandTares / 3 Comments

Coming home from a trip this week made me think of road maps, road trips and directions. How many of you know, if you don’t have a good road map (or a good GPS these days), you can get lost in a hurry, especially when going through a big city. This can be so frustrating, and depending on where you are, it can be downright dangerous! You might eventually get back on the right path, but oh, the time that can be wasted and the costs that may be paid!

There are, also, different paths that may lead you to the same destination. Some are through busy intersections and congested towns, and others are down country roads with beautiful sceneries of pasture lands and rolling hills. Finding the right one for you can make all the difference in how you feel by the end of the journey, whether you are refreshed and at peace or worn out and frazzled.

Just as you need a good road map for driving through a new city and for getting to a new destination, each of us need a good road map to make it safely through life. You can venture on your life’s journey without one, or you can even appear to be the more “flexible type” who frequently changes your source of guidance from one to another; however, a lot of valuable time can be disappear, the cost can be exorbitant and the loss, sometimes, can be irrevocable. It’s so much better to start out at the beginning with the right one.

God has given us the best “road map” we could ever find to help guide our lives. Some might try to argue that the Bible doesn’t answer every question we will have, and they might even make a list of things it doesn’t specifically talk about. I have to say, they would almost be right; however, I have found that the Word of God gives us principles for every situation, every question, and every dilemma we encounter in this life. The precise answer may not be spelled out, but the principles are crystal clear! He gave us this Word for a purpose, and that purpose is to help guide us through this life, into a deeper relationship with Him, and to our final destination with Him.

We don’t have to search hard, and we don’t have to spend a lot of money to find it. If we will simply open this book, read it and seek His guidance through it, we will find ourselves on a much better path than the one we can search out on our own!

If We Were Having Coffee…

/ The WheatandTares / 20 Comments

If we were having coffee today, I might have you walk past a few suitcases and ask you to definitely not look at the laundry room, because we just got back from a week away. I’ll tell you more about that in just a minute. Let’s get a cup of warm brew and settle back here on the deck…

How was your week? I might even ask, How has the last few weeks been for you? I’ve missed a few coffee chats these last few weekends; so, we have a little catching up to do. Have you been well? Anything exciting happen? Did you have a good Mother’s Day for yourself or with your mom or your daughter? …

Things have gone well here. Mother’s Day was sweet; my guys always treat me so nice. I think maybe one of the most special moments of the weekend was that morning… I was already in a bit of a frenzy, because I had woken up an hour late. Yet, I was almost running on time. Haha. I had called out to my boys that we’d leave in about 5 mins., only to realize I hadn’t put on a stitch of makeup! 😜 So, I proceeded, finished up, and headed downstairs to leave. Our oldest said, “Five minutes, huh?” (Always the “smart” one. 😂 Lol) I told him it would’ve been had I not had to apply makeup. A few minutes later, as we were walking to the truck, he said, “Ya know mom, you didn’t have to worry about the makeup…You don’t need it…You’re beautiful without it.” Oh my! Be still my beating heart!! That boy brought me to tears…and I just about had to reapply the makeup again! 😂 Love him so much! 💕 We had family over later to grill out, and it was just a GREAT day.

The next week was pretty uneventful, I suppose, but we did get several pieces of needed furniture; so, that was fun. However, this week has been very eventful and simply wonderful! My husband and I celebrated 20 years being married, and someone blessed us with a week’s stay in Daytona Beach, Fl. The weather this week has been pretty stormy, but the moods of the ocean and clouds captured on film is totally worth it! Here, let me show you some of the pics…

A brewing storm

We had an absolute blast! It was just he and I, and we sure did miss the boys, but we made some wonderful memories together. We stayed in a great resort, right on the beach. Our room was really nice, and it had an extra large balcony that reached out toward the pool area. It was one of only two balconies like it; so, it kind of made you feel like you had an extra special room. We spent the week together exploring restaurants, walking the beach, “hiking” to the top of the lighthouse, watching the sunrises and trying to catch the sunsets when they availed themselves.

Sunrise on our anniversary

 

Our anniversary day couldn’t have been better. We woke to an absolutely gorgeous day! The sunrise was stunning. We walked downtown through several of the vintage antique shops then went to eat at a restaurant called Aunt Catfish’s. Talk about good food! I’ll be sharing about it on a Tuesday’s Treat real soon.

We were so tired after lunch, we went back to the room for a little nap. When we got up, we got all dressed up for an early dinner at Stonewood Grill in Ormond Beach. Oh. My. Word. It was a great meal! (Again, I’ll share soon on Tuesdays Treats…we’ve eaten great all week!) We then went back, changed into comfortable clothes, and drove to Ponce Inlet to walk the beach and the jetty.


It was absolutely awesome. Joey stopped, told me how much he loved me and how thankful he was to have married me 20 years ago and kissed me. The whole day was so overwhelmingly awesome, I cried! Yeah, I know, that’s sappy right there, but I did! I am just so thankful for him, our life, this trip, all of it. I have been so blessed. 💗

The moon “rise” after a storm

 

Ok, well, I could probably go on an on, but I’m sure you probably have enough to do without sitting here listening to me jabber. It’s been so fun having coffee with you. I always love our little chats, and I look forward to ‘seeing’ you again soon. Here, I’ll take your coffee cup and walk you to the door…I hope you have a blessed week ahead! 😊

*Thanks to Diana over at Parttimemonster.com for hosting this coffee share linkup. 😉

Through The Years

/ The WheatandTares / 9 Comments

 
   This week, my husband and I are celebrating 20 years together. We actually dated for 3 1/2 years before we married; so, I could say, we’re actually celebrating 23 1/2 years of being together and 20 years of marriage. I can now say, I’ve been with him over half of my life!
IMG_0852(Look at those two youngins! Who in the world is that anyway?! Oh. My. Goodness!! lol.)

I can honestly tell you, I love him more today than the first day I met him and even more than the day I married him! Some people could scoff at that statement, and some might wonder how that could possibly be true; so, as a way of celebrating today, I’d like to tell you a few things I’ve learned along the way and a little bit of how this can become true for you…

*This is, by NO means, a complete list, nor is it a perfect list. There are so many more things for me to learn, and I shall until the day I die…

#1 – If you want your marriage to last, you must first love God before you love your spouse. I don’t love my husband, because I am, somehow, a strong person, or because I’m “just that good.” I love my husband, because I love God first, and He makes up the difference for my humanness.

#2 – A great marriage takes a thousand little miracles to make it work right. (Thus, another reason, you need to love God first! 😉 )

#3 – You’ve got to give a lot and take a little to make a great marriage. It takes both of you giving, learning and growing together.

#4 – A great marriage consists of two people who never gave up on each other, no matter how hard it gets at times.

#5 – A great marriage consists of a sacred and hot marriage bed. Ok, yeah, there ya go. I said it. It’s hard for me to publicly talk a lot about this, cuz I don’t believe everyone needs to know my business; however, if you’re going to have a great marriage, this has got to be true, and No, it’s not “all about sex” either. If you’re on either extreme of that spectrum, you’re gonna have troubles. 

#6 – If you want your marriage to last, you’ve got to date each other. Life can just run over you until all you see is bills, children, school, work and more bills. You’ve got to remember how and why you got in this thing to begin with. Flirt, go out, have fun and remember the man/woman you fell in love with!

#7 – A great marriage takes a lot of grace and forgiveness even when you don’t want to.

#8 – Your spouse must come before your kids, your job and your family (parents, etc.) If you are always putting other things above the needs of your spouse, don’t be surprised when she/he does the same, and then, one day, you both ask yourself, “Why am I married to this person I no longer know?”

#9 – A great marriage consists of trust, honesty and loyalty. If you don’t trust your spouse, how can they ever have the freedom to be honest with you? If you aren’t honest with him/her, how can he/she want to be loyal to you? The three work together like a well oiled machine, or they work against each other for a broken down mess.

#10 – A great marriage consists of authenticity and vulnerablility. You’ve got to be authentic with each other. Why would you play games with the one you love? You’ve, also, got to be able to be vulnerable with each other. Why would you want to be with someone with whom you can’t share your whole heart?

#11 – If you want your marriage to last, there’s got to be lots of prayer and encouragement for and to your spouse. Your spouse not only needs your prayers and encouragement, in the spiritual sense, but he/she needs to hear these words spoken and written throughout the years.

#12 – A great marriage consists of a mom and dad who love each other so much that the kids know dad would choose mom over them in a heartbeat, and she would do the same. This doesn’t mean they don’t love the kids, but it does mean they won’t be divided by the kids.

#13 – You’ve got to learn from each other as parents. There are some things at which she will naturally be good and some things at which he will naturally be good. Some things, neither of you will be good at, and you’ll have to learn together. Learn well, and have grace for each other when it’s not how you would do it.

#14 – A great marriage consists of great perspective. If you’re not seeing eye to eye, try changing perspectives. You’ll be surprised what you might see. 

#15 – A great marriage consists of two people who work together to make a good home.

#16 – If you want a marriage that lasts, you’ve got to be faithful. This doesn’t mean that infidelity always leads to divorce, but WOW, it does mean unfaithfulness sure makes the journey together (and the restoration) all that more difficult.

#17 – A great marriage consists of two people working hard to savor the moments and appreciate the little things that make their spouse who he/she is.

#18 – Your confidence in who you are and who your spouse is can make or break a good marriage. You’ve got to love yourself before you can truly love someone else, and you’ve got to believe in your spouse before you can begin to truly see who he/she is.

#19 – A great marriage consists of loving the past for what it is, having hope for what the future brings and living fully right here in the present.

#20 – A great marriage doesn’t consist of two perfect people making a perfect life together. A great marriage consists of two imperfect people living an imperfect life, while serving a perfect God who draws out a perfected love for Him, and in turn, creates a daily perfecting love for each other.

I am so thankful for my husband, this wonderful man God gave me to marry 20 years ago. I love him more with each new day, and I am more amazed with each passing year just how much I don’t deserve this blessing I’ve been given! He is my love, my best friend, my confidante, and my cheerleader. He protects me, and he encourages me to be more than I thought I could be. I could go on and on about my love for him, but I will stope here and simply say, I could not imagine asking for more! ❤

Southern Heart

/ The WheatandTares / 4 Comments

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I am a Southern girl, born and bred, and I am proud of it. In the South, we grew up knowing trust in God, family and country were three of the most important things to take care of in life, and when one of those got out of balance, the others were soon to follow. We were taught to respect our elders, appreciate our relatives, (even if they’re a little crazy), and good friends and food go a long way to make a good day great. Old dirt roads are best enjoyed on the back of a pick up truck, and front porches were made for rocking chairs and long late night talks. Fireflies were made to catch in mason jars and catfish were made to fry up for dinner. Sweet tea is made only when the sugar is poured before the tea gets cold, and chicken is best served fried with a side of mashed potatoes, gravy and biscuits…oh, and with an apple pie for dessert.  “Yes ma’am,” “No, ma’am,” and The Pledge of Allegiance isn’t just polite, it’s expected, and being a sass mouth is just plain rude…there can be found a hickory switch or two for that one. Barefoot and swimming holes are sought for in the summertime and wintertime is simply harder to find. Thanksgiving is for pumpkin pies, turkey and dressing, and Christmas is for gatherings of family and friends to remember our Savior’s birth and sing of that glorious story. Being from the South makes up who I am, and even if I wasn’t born here, I don’t think you could drag me away. It’s in my heart, and it’s here to stay.

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If you aren’t from the South, don’t like the South, or you’ve never been here, that’s ok. You may be proud of where you’re from, too. You don’t have to love my home, and I don’t have to love yours, but I will try to respect it; that’s just the Southern way. 😉 It bothers me to no end those who ridicule the South by saying we’re less educated or less cultured, because our dialect is a little different than theirs, or because we didn’t grow up where they did. I won’t spend a lot of time here on that soapbox; however, I don’t believe it’s from whence you came that makes you smarter or more stupid than the next guy; it’s all in how you act, react and treat your fellow man that will determine your intellect or lack thereof.

I am so thankful to be from the South, and I can’t think of many other places I’d rather live. I’ve been to many other states, and I’ve yet to find an area I like more. So, if you’re from the South, “Welcome Home, Ya’ll!” and if you’re not, “Come on back to see us soon!”

Daily Prompt: South

In Hot Pursuit

/ The WheatandTares / 6 Comments

 “He who does not love does not know God, for God is love.” 1 John 4:8
Did you know Gid pursues us with His love? He surrounds us with beauty everyday so that we might think of Him. He sends good things our way so that we might remember Him. Even in trials and tribulations, even in the smallest things, people have testified time and again of the goodness of the Lord. We just have to open our eyes to see it. 

Why does He do this? He pursues us with His love, because He longs for us to be with Him. He longs to walk with us, to talk with us, to have a friendship, a deep relationship with us. He longs to be reunited with us. 

How much do we pursue Him in this way? Do we only think about Him when it comes church time and prayer time over the meal? Do we only think of Him when we are in trouble or in distress, because, after all, He is a God of wisdom and a God of answers. He’s a God of refuge and help. 

He pursues us, because He wants our hearts as well as our hands. He can catch our hands easily. It’s easy to catch your child’s hand when they’re young, when they need help after a tumble, or when you need to stop them from running in the street. However, it’s harder to catch the hand of your teen when they desperately long for independence and have so many new avenues to find that freedom. It’s even harder to win the heart of your grown child if you didn’t quite master the task in their younger years. 

Too often, I believe we have this same tendency toward our Heavenly Father. When we first get saved, He is all we think about, all we talk about. We pursue a relationship with Him. Yet, as life moves forward, the responsibilities pull on us, and the priorities of life knock down our door, we set Him aside for brighter, easier days. We forget about that relationship we once had when we communed daily with Him. We wait till we are in distress to call on His name. 
But oh, the sweetness of walking with Him day by day. Oh the joy we miss when He’s put aside. 

He’s still there where you left Him. Seek Him out today. You will find Him. He promised when you seek Him with all your heart, you will find Him. 

What Do You See?

/ The WheatandTares / 2 Comments

  Sometimes, your vision is everything… 
In 2 Kings 6:17, Elijah prayed this for his servant: “Open his eyes, Lord, so that he might see.” 

What do you see when you look at people? What do you see when you are in the middle of chaos? What do you see when you are surrounded by those who have less than you or, maybe, who have more? What do you look at? What do you envision? 

What you see makes up who you are. It will determine if you live as a victim or as a victor. If you always see negative, you will tend to be a negative person. If you see hopelessness and despair, you will be a fearful person and you will have a tendency to either run away from problems or avoid anything that might appear as a challenge. Yet, if you see hope and strength, you will have a tendency to be a fighter, a person who doesn’t give up too easily. If you see love and prosperity, you will tend to seek out those with whom you have camaraderie and with whom you can succeed. Depending on what you look at, you will see trouble or triumph.  

What you see will determine where you end up in life. If you don’t see success, you’ll never achieve it. If you don’t see possibilities, you’ll never see a promotion. If you don’t see faith and integrity in others, you’ll never learn to trust and open up to another person. You can look at people all day every day, but if you don’t see them, you’ll never be able to reach them, and you’ll never be able to learn from them.  

So, I’d like to leave you with a few questions to ponder… 

When you look at yourself, do you see all your faults and failures, or do you see a child of the King?  

When you look at your children, do you just see your little ones and the responsibilities they bring, or do you see a king or a queen?  

When you look at this world, do you see sin or a sinner who needs Jesus? 

When you look at the cross, do you see a burden hard to carry, or do you see the story of a promise desperately needing to be shared?

What do you see?

What Do You See?

/ The WheatandTares

It’s not what you look at that matters, it’s what you see

-D.H.Thoreau

Sometimes, your vision is everything…

What do you see when you look at people? What do you see when you are in the middle of chaos? What do you see when you are surrounded by those who have less than you or, maybe, who have more? What do you look at? What do you envision?

What you see makes up who you are. If you always see negative, you will tend to be a negative person. If you see hopelessness and despair, you are, most likely, a fearful person and you will have a tendency to either run away from problems or avoid anything that might appear a challenge. Yet, if you see hope and strength, you will have a tendency to be a fighter, a person who doesn’t give up too easily. If you see love and prosperity, you will tend to seek out those with whom you have camaraderie and with whom you can succeed.

What you see will determine where you end up in life. If you don’t see success, you’ll never achieve it. If you don’t see possibilities, you’ll never try. If you don’t see faith and integrity  in others, you’ll never learn to trust and open up to another person. In order to have a dream realized, you must first see the goals needed to get to the dream. In order to have a goal achieved, you must first see the first step that is needed. In order to start on that path, you must be able to see those around you who can help you and guide you learn to walk.

You can look at people all day every day, but if you don’t see them, you’ll never be able to reach them, and you’ll never be able to learn from them. You can look at the places people go, or the successes they have and wish you were there; however, if you don’t see the sacrifices they made to get there, you will never know the cost you’ll need to pay. You’ll never see how many steps it will take, whom you will need to help and how long it may take to arrive.

What do you see?

Daily Prompt: VISION

Vision

What Makes You Tick?

/ The WheatandTares / 4 Comments

I wanted to do a little different post today. I’d like to hear from those of you out there who frequent The Grizzle Grist Mill, as well as, those of you who might be dropping by for the first time today…
 

This photo not only sums up one of my favorite places, but it always turns my thoughts towards my Savior as well. For He is Living Water. ❤️ John 7:37-38

 
 I was scrolling through my iPhone pictures this morning, and because I probably tend to be a photo hoarder, I have way too many pictures stored there! However, even when I clear the storage down to just a few (100 😳), there are a handful of photos that I like to keep in there. It made me wonder if there might be others “out there” who do the same thing? Are there some things that you keep close just because they seem to be a part of you? Is there a photo or a possession you have that just seems to sum up who you are and what you’re about?

For the sake of online safety, I don’t post any present day photos of my guys, but my little family is a great big part of me!

 

What makes you tick? Will you kindly share one or two of them with us today? 😊

 

I love this man with all my heart! ❤️

 
 

My childhood home will always be a part of me.

 

Forgiveness With A Boundary

/ The WheatandTares / 2 Comments

 Sometimes, we just have to forgive, simply, because He says so. It may not be easy. It may not be what we want, and it may definitely not be what the other person deserves, but God is very clear in this fact: We Must Forgive. Yet, forgiveness does not always mean reconciliation…

Many times, it may take years to find the ability to forgive, and sometimes, it will come instantly. Some of the hardest moments to forgive are those when someone continues to cause pain and wounds on top of the scars you have already endured. That’s when the real test comes, “Can you forgive…again?”

However, I think, oftentimes for me, the harder test comes as I struggle with the balance between learning to “forgive and walk away” and “forgive and reconcile” when someone continually wounds me, especially when it’s someone for whom I care deeply. It’s easier to forgive and walk away when you don’t have to deal with them daily. It’s easier to forgive and walk away when they’re not family or a close friend. It’s so easy when you can forgive and never worry about seeing them again, but what about those who keep knocking down your door?

As a young child and even as an adult, when someone hurt me, I would always have the tendency to ‘go back for more’ before I cut them off completely and became unforgiving. Not everyone’s problem, I know, but it’s still a problem that must be solved, because this kind of tendency will cause codependency, abuse and lack of boundaries for a healthy life. We must learn to forgive, but we must, also, learn when to say, “No more.”

As I’ve grown older, both in age and in wisdom, I have learned that true forgiveness does not always bring true reconciliation. Sometimes, that other person is just wrong. Sometimes, the other party is too abusive, codependent, mean or just plain cruel, and you are better off to forgive and walk away than to return to the relationship. You have to learn to do this for your own well being, your own health, and your own sanity.

I call this “forgiveness with a boundary.” It doesn’t mean you don’t forgive, and it doesn’t mean you don’t love and care for the person; however, it does mean you draw a line in the sand and say, “No more after today. This is now your boundary into my life. You can come this far but no further. You will not continue to break through and wound my heart to the point I cannot function and live the life I am supposed to live.”

Just as an abused child must learn it’s not okay to be abused, those who have relationships with people who have no boundaries must learn it’s not okay to be used. It’s okay to say no to the abuse of your emotions, your mind and your heart. As I’ve already stated, it’s okay to set boundaries for your life to protect your well being, your health, and your sanity.

This has been my hard lesson learned:

You are a daughter of the Almighty God! You are a daughter of the King! You were not made to grovel in self pity nor in codependency. You were not made to be a doormat. You were not made to be a yo-yo, always up and down with the emotions, feelings and thoughts of others. You are destined to be so much more!

You were created to be YOU, a child of a King! You are a precious, beautiful jewel and you should be treated as such. Stop living with your head held low, always looking to the ground. Look up! For your Redeemer has come. He loves you, and He has called you to be so much more!!

If you find yourself in that kind of place today, in that place of hopelessness, pain and abuse of any kind. I hope you will be encouraged to know there is a better way. There is hope and freedom beyond where you are. He has made it possibly for you to live beyond your pain, beyond your fears and beyond your intimidations!

Thank you, Jesus, for redeeming me and  forgiving me. Thank you for helping me to forgive, and thank you for helping me to learn how to walk away from hurtful people and to live in the freedom you’ve given me and for showing me how to live victoriously! ❤️

Mom’s Job

/ The WheatandTares / 1 Comment

We, as moms, have so many jobs, so many responsibilities to fulfill. These change often, too, depending on the age of our children, the different seasons of life, and the various needs of our family. What my roll was, as a mom with our boys, 10 years ago looks somewhat different than today; yet, I have found a few “mom jobs” to remain constant over the years. If these go missing, chaos seems to presume.

  Speak Life – It is our responsibility to speak life into our home and our children. We need to encourage, admonish, admire and lead by example. Christ said, “I am the Way, the Truth and the Life…” When we speak life to them, it is the beginning of their seeing Christ. It causes them to see a better way than where their fleshly desires would entice them. When we speak life, it guides them in truth. Solomon, the wisest man in Scripture, had a mother who spoke life into him. You can see that in Proverbs 31, when she admonishes him about drinking and shares with him what kind of “good woman” he should seek. Speaking life is not condoning sin or emphasizing failures. It is giving them God’s best in their moment in order for growth, strength and transformation to occur.

  Provide Liberty (freedom) – It is incumbent upon us to give our children the freedom to grow into the man or woman they are meant to be. We begin this from a very early age. We hold their hand to teach them to walk, and then, we let go so they can. We hold onto the back of the bike so they can get steady, and then, we let go and watch them bike around the block on their own. We help them in so many ways, at the beginning holding on to make sure they’ve got it, and then, we watch them as they learn to do things on their own. We must do this with their dreams as well! It is our job to help them to dream and to one day fly to higher heights, and we must give them the freedom to do so! When we hold on to tightly, or we hold them back because of fear, competition or even jealousy, we cripple them and cause their way to be harder than it needs to be. They may still reach their dreams, but oh, the hardships and battles they have to face along the way!

  Give Love – It is our calling to love those God puts in our care. We were made as nurturing creatures. We were created as networking beings, to reach out, to connect. We have been developed to care, to cry, to comfort and to cover our loved ones with our love and prayers. If we are not reaching our arms up in prayer and out in love, we will wreak havoc on all those around us. That’s why it’s so important for us, as women but especially as mothers, to release anger, bitterness, strife and unforgiveness. If we hold onto these things, we don’t just simply “cover it up and hope it goes away,” as we often want to believe we can. It breeds in our home and eventually manifests in all areas of our lives, as well as, in the lives of our children. We must love. We must care. We must reach out. Hannah brought a new coat to little Samuel every year at the time of the feast offerings. There is a whole book in the Bible devoted to the story of Ruth and how she not only loved her husband but how she loved her mother-in-law. Esther changed the heart of a king by her love for her God, her husband and her people.

It is said, “The mother is the heart of the home.” I tend to agree with this statement, but I want to make it a little more specific. I believe she can be the heartbeat of the home. With her attentiveness, her effort and her consistent focus on Christ, she can not only keep a hand on the pulse of the home, but she can also become the heartbeat of that home. If she is stable, loving, courageous, bold, prayerful, gentle and kind, her home has a better chance of being the same. If she is imbalanced, hateful, fearful, lacking in prayer, grouchy and just plain mean, her home will most likely emulate the same attitude and personality.

Men weren’t created to do these things the way a woman was! They have their own purpose and their own calling within the home, but it is different than a woman’s. We have a purpose, and we must fulfill it, or everyone loses!

“Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her:
 “Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all.”
Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. Honor her for all that her hands have done, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.”   Proverbs 31:28-31

Happy belated Mother’s Day!