Grief All Around

June 26, 2023June 26, 2023 / The WheatandTares

Tonight, I wrote five sympathy cards to friends who have lost a loved one recently.

Three of these were within the same family, and they had personally lost 3 family members among them.

And this is just after losing a son/nephew last year and a few more members the year before.

Another couple has lost their brother, cousin, nephew, great grandmother and a distant relative, all within just months of each other.

Yes. Those are each one, a different person, and relationship with said friends.

A third family lost their son, just over thirty years of age. He lived in the Midwest, and they had to take a plane to get to him.

My husband and I received an added message tonight from an old friend who sorely misses his wife who died several years ago. He just wants to see her again.

My family is also in this list of losses, as my own grandmother passed just weeks ago.

If I only looked at all these losses, my heart would be overwhelmed.

If I only looked at the tears, the weight inside would be unbearable.

Grief is hard.

Grief is exhausting.

Grief can be all consuming.

It’s what we do with it that makes the difference.

For me and for you.

A father, close to my age, lost two sons in a boating accident a short 11 years ago, and he shares his grief publicly to encourage others.

A wife shares her story of losing her law enforcement husband to his life in duty, and she gives others support, telling them they can and will survive.

A grandmother describes the last few years of her disabled mother’s life in desire to bring joy to others hearing how her mom always said, “I love you” with a smile to most anyone she met.

Grief is all around us.

If you don’t see it, it’s simply because your eyes are blinded.

If you don’t feel it, you may be oblivious or just plain self consumed.

I’m begging you to open your eyes.

I’m pleading with you to say a prayer.

I’m imploring you to look around and reach beyond self indulgences.

And grasp the hand of those bereaved, lost, or confused.

You never know whose life you might save,

Simply by giving a ray of hope in their dreary world.

Be the joy.

Be the peace.

Be the hope they desperately need.

But I do not want you to be ignorant, brethren, concerning those who have fallen asleep, lest you sorrow as others who have no hope. For if we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so God will bring with Him those who sleep in Jesus. For this we say to you by the word of the Lord, that we who are alive and remain until the coming of the Lord will by no means precede those who are asleep.For the Lord Himself will descend from heaven with a shout, with the voice of an archangel, and with the trumpet of God. And the dead in Christ will rise first.Then we who are alive and remain shall be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And thus we shall always be with the Lord.Therefore comfort one another with these words.
1 Thessalonians 4:13-18

Blessed are those who mourn,
For they shall be comforted.
Matthew 5:4

Grief .. Part 563

June 15, 2023September 21, 2023 / The WheatandTares

The journey of grief seems so long, so treacherous, and so methodical.

If you dwell too much on the journey, you’ll wander along the creek side, lost.

Never stopping for a drink.

The water continues to flow along the path, and it is for your refreshing, your renewal.

For the journey is hard, and it’s not meant for eternity.

Stay alert and remain vigilant in the middle of the walk.

Stay revived and maintain the elements to survive.

Grief is like a thief if you’ll allow him to be.

He will steal days, years, even hours and minutes

He will steal joy and peace, prosperity and comfort.

Don’t let him stay too long, or he will even steal your sanity.

You can’t shut him out; for then, he will only come back with gained force.

But don’t open the gate wide to welcome; for he will consume all territory that is lonely.

Fortify the good within and remain watchful.

Maintain the gates with prayer, steadfastness and faith.

Let him walk through, but swing open the back door with a celebration and fanfare.

For he will always peek through the windows and the trellises, but he cannot set up to abide.

For His anger is but for a moment, His favor is for life; Weeping may endure for a night, But joy comes in the morning.
Psalm 30:5

As the deer pants for the water brooks,
So pants my soul for You, O God.
My soul thirsts for God, for the living God.
When shall I come and appear before God? My tears have been my food day and night, while they continually say to me,
“Where is your God?” When I remember these things, I pour out my soul within me.
For I used to go with the multitude;
I went with them to the house of God,
With the voice of joy and praise,
With a multitude that kept a pilgrim feast. Why are you cast down, O my soul?
And why are you disquieted within me?
Hope in God, for I shall yet praise Him
For the help of His countenance. O my God, my soul is cast down within me; therefore, I will remember You from the land of the Jordan, and from the heights of Hermon, from the Hill Mizar.
Deep calls unto deep at the noise of Your waterfalls; All Your waves and billows have gone over me. The Lord will command His lovingkindness in the daytime, and in the night His song shall be with me—
A prayer to the God of my life. I will say to God my Rock, “Why have You forgotten me?
Why do I go mourning because of the oppression of the enemy?”
As with a breaking of my bones,
My enemies reproach me,
While they say to me all day long,
“Where is your God?” Why are you cast down, O my soul? And why are you disquieted within me?
Hope in God;
For I shall yet praise Him,
The help of my countenance and my God.
Psalm 42

Now the Lord said to Samuel, “How long will you mourn for Saul, seeing I have rejected him from reigning over Israel? Fill your horn with oil, and go; I am sending you to Jesse the Bethlehemite. For I have provided Myself a king among his sons.”
1 Samuel 16:1

Grief … Part 294

June 13, 2023June 13, 2023 / The WheatandTares

It seems funny to give a title to grief as if I am numbering sheets of paper, but yet, how else do you list it?

Grief is evasive and yet, it is so invasive.

Grief is like a cool, summer rain, and yet, it’s like a torrential tsunami that barrels in with no warning.

Grief is both bittersweet and just plain sour.

And when grief comes by new forms and methods consistently over the years, it gets hard to dissect the good in the pain.

Just hold on.

And pray.

A lot.

We were not made for this world.

We were not made for this grief, and that’s why it’s so foreign. That’s why it’s so hard.

We were made for an eternal world, and we will be there before we know it.

He’s coming back soon.

Just hold on and be ready.

And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.
2 Corinthians 12:9

For His anger is but for a moment, His favor is for life; Weeping may endure for a night, But joy comes in the morning.
Psalm 30:5

Grief … Part 243

June 12, 2023June 11, 2023 / The WheatandTares

Grief has so many aspects; sometimes, it’s just hard to keep up.

And when death has hit three years straight, the emotional roller coaster is full of surprises.

Today, it’s just hard.

And heartbreaking.

And enraging.

Hard because there’s so many shattered pieces, and nothing can be mended.

Heartbreaking because there’s so much lost, and nothing can be reconciled.

Enraging because there’s so much stolen, and nothing can be returned.

If perspectives remain only on the loss, the heart becomes sick, and the soul becomes hopeless.

Despair will settle in like a long and bitter cold rain.

But hope remains.

The only Hope that can be grasped.

Eternity is not bound in this day and time.

Destiny is not restrained by this hour and by the ticking of the clock.

Mortality is not for the Everlasting One nor for those who serve Him.

So, look up not down.

Look forward not behind.

The minutes are coming faster and soon will end and then,

True life will just begin again.

Behold, I tell you a mystery: We shall not all sleep, but we shall all be changed— in a moment, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trumpet. For the trumpet will sound, and the dead will be raised incorruptible, and we shall be changed. For this corruptible must put on incorruption, and this mortal must put on immortality. So when this corruptible has put on incorruption, and this mortal has put on immortality, then shall be brought to pass the saying that is written: “Death is swallowed up in victory.” “O Death, where is your sting? O Hades, where is your victory?”
1 Corinthians 15:51-55

The Loves of My Life

June 10, 2023June 10, 2023 / The WheatandTares / 2 Comments

Who do you spend the most time with?

I spend the majority of my time with the loves of my life: my husband and our two sons.

We have the most fun together, either all together, individually, or even broken up into pairs.

We love to travel, or hike, or to take a road trip, or take a walk, or go shopping, or find a great restaurant, or maybe just sit for a spell, telling stories, pondering the mysteries of God, comparing notes on the Lord of the Rings, or simply hanging out doing nothing at all.

Just being together is what counts. And although, each of us are so very different from the other, we’ve always been a very tight knit family. But as they grow, those days are coming to change very soon.

And my heart gets a bit sad every time I think about it.

Yet, I know it is meant to be, and I know it’s bittersweet.

It is meant to be because every parent wants their child to always be moving forward in life, never crippled, never wounded, or just stuck in one phase.

It is meant to be because every parent wants to see their children flourish, succeed, and fly like an eagle into their adult life, learning, growing and soaring into his own.

It is exciting because we want them to be strong men, independent, and confident in who they each are called to be. We raised them this way, and they are boldly approaching the goal.

It is exciting because we want to see them explore and experience all the thrills, all the joys, we once did and so much more.

It is bittersweet because I know as these days draw closer, they will fly; they will flourish, and one day, they will find the girl of their dreams. Then, they will begin their own families, their own lives.

It is bittersweet because this mama’s heart will miss them so and long for one more hug, another spontaneous, late night chat, an unexpected trip to the store “just to get a few things” and have some extra individual time together.

It is heartwarming because as you realize they’ve got what it takes to make it, and not just to survive but to thrive, you realize they really did hear you. They really did receive.

It is heartwarming because you know the two of you, husband and wife, now will have a rediscovery of each other. You’ll have opportunities for time renewed that has been shared for decades, and now, it’s just the two of you.

Yes, it is meant to be, and it is bittersweet.

And yet, it is both exciting and heartwarming.

Change is coming, and it’s coming so fast.

It will be upon us before I am truly ready.

So for now, I will be present in the moment.

I will cherish the past and look expectantly toward the future.

But I will continue to savor my overspent time with my loves right here, right now.

And I will continue spending my most valuable moments with the loves of my life.

For this is where I long to be most, second only to being by my Savior’s side. But that story will be saved for another day’s writing…

Right now, I’m going to get back to where I love to spend most of my time…❤️

Your Tribe

June 6, 2023June 6, 2023 / The WheatandTares

There’s not a whole lot to add to this statement.

Just know your tribe and embrace them.

You may not all be exactly the same,

But if you’re going in the same direction,

And your focus is similar,

And your destination is the same,

You will get there together,

And you’ll be stronger and better for it.

Therefore if there is any consolation in Christ, if any comfort of love, if any fellowship of the Spirit, if any affection and mercy, fulfill my joy by being like-minded, having the same love, being of one accord, of one mind.
Philippians 1:1-2

Is She a Keeper?

June 1, 2023May 29, 2023 / The WheatandTares

Find that one who will be there when tough times come.

Find that one who will show up in the rain and ride the tide.

Find that one who will remain when everyone else walks out.

Find her or him, and don’t stop till you do.

Don’t settle for second best.

Don’t settle for leftovers.

Seek till you find and don’t rest till you do.

It’s worth it.

I promise.

Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends.
John 15:13

When Your Heart Fails to Grieve

May 24, 2023May 24, 2023 / The WheatandTares

A grieving heart can be suffocating, almost to the point of death.

But if the heart fails to grieve, it’s like the winter storm that brought in the ice and hail.

The ice forms the piercing icicles, and the hail forms the impaling snowballs.

A grieving heart can walk through the snow, feeling the cold, bracing for the darkness of the forest.

But if the heart fails to grieve, it’s as if the soul is plunged into the abyss among the trees.

The mist rises, the shadows deepens, and the trail is never to be found again.

A grieving heart can be broken, wandering, and flailing to find it’s way.

But if the heart fails to grieve, all the wolves in hiding come out to feast.

All the demons once held at bay come forward to claim their spoils.

Lay down your shield. Lay aside your dagger.

Let the River run through your heart as the tears flow freely.

The pain may be earth shaking, but yet to feel no pain, is to sever the only hope that remains.

Blessed are those who mourn,
For they shall be comforted.
Matthew 5:4

My flesh and my heart fail; But God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.
Psalm 73:26

Your Gaze

May 16, 2023May 16, 2023 / The WheatandTares

Your gaze is hard to follow.

Your glare burns me from within.

Your intensity builds the fire into an inferno.

I cannot escape or refuse. I cannot run away or hide.

I shift in the uncomfortable silence,

Hoping you’ll say something to ease the pain.

You look me eye to eye, I glance away, not knowing what to say.

You begin to speak, and I cringe, terrified you’ll find me lacking and left wanting.

And suddenly, I hear Your voice gently call my name.

All fear is forgotten.

All doubt is erased.

As I lean into Your grace.

And this is the will of Him who sent Me, that everyone who sees the Son and believes in Him may have everlasting life; and I will raise him up at the last day.
John 6:40

Behold what manner of love the Father has bestowed on us, that we should be called children of God! Therefore the world does not know us, because it did not know Him. Beloved, now we are children of God; and it has not yet been revealed what we shall be, but we know that when He is revealed, we shall be like Him, for we shall see Him as He is.
1 John 3:1-3