parenting

Do You See A Purpose?

/ The WheatandTares

What is your purpose?

Sometimes, you can dream about your purpose for the future, for the world, for your nation. These dreams are fun, exciting, and if pursued, they can be life changing. Everyone should have a dream and a purpose bigger than they are. When you live your life for a purpose bigger than you, one that is for the greater good of those around you, it’s easier to avoid things like selfishness, arrogance and even self-loathing.

Yet, what do you do when those dreams seem too big, too far or too foreign to the struggle and turmoil of everyday life? What about those lives who are broken and in despair, and the next breath seems too hard to imagine? What about them? What does purpose mean then?

Sometimes, you just have to realize your purpose for the here and now, and set aside those bigger purposes, those bigger dreams for another day. It doesn’t mean those things can’t happen, but when your spouse is lying debilitated in a hospital bed, those “purposes for the future” seem a little farfetched. When your child is suffering from a terminal illness, and you don’t even know if she’ll make it till tomorrow, those “dreams bigger than life” seem a little nonsensical.

At these times, you simply do what comes next, and you do it well. You take care of the one you love and the ones you are with, and you let tomorrow take care of itself. You find purpose in today, in the now, in the value of those around you. That purpose, sometimes, can become greater than any “big purpose” you could find elsewhere.

When things don’t turn out as you imagined, and your purpose seems a little less than you dreamed, just hold on. It doesn’t mean that purpose will never come to fruition. It doesn’t mean your dreams will never be realized. It just means it’s on hold for a little while, and what’s in front of you may need more attention than those “big” things. Your purpose is before you always. Sometimes, you just have to open your eyes to see it.

quotes-the-purpose_7260-2

QuotePixel.com

“For the vision is yet for an appointed time; But at the end it will speak, and it will not lie.
Though it tarries, wait for it; Because it will surely come, It will not tarry.”  Habakkuk 2:3

 

Daily Prompt: Purpose

Dream BIG!

/ The WheatandTares / 1 Comment

If you’re going to dream, by all means, dream BIG! Go for broke! Don’t settle for second best, for what is just simply good and practical. Dream the big stuff! Dream the impossible! Dream the unfathomable!

Now, does that mean all those dreams will come true? Does this mean you must hold out for that dream until the day you die? Does it mean everything you dream must come to pass in order for you to have a happy, fulfilled life? Can I answer honestly here? NO, NO, and NO! Just because you dream big doesn’t mean each and every one has to become reality, and just because it’s a great big dream that doesn’t come to pass doesn’t mean it’s the end of your happy and meaningful life.

Sometimes, we can get so fixated on a dream that we miss the real stuff that is right before us. I’ve seen parents who are so filled with wanderlust and so focused on the unfulfilled dreams they had growing up that they forsake the very lives of their children for what they thought they would become. They miss out on the beauty, wonder and joy of their children’s love and “big sky thinking,” because of their own selfish grasp on the “should’ve/could’ve/would’ve” regrets of yesterday. That’s not the kind of dreaming I’m encouraging here. I’m talking about the kind of dreaming that pushes the limits while also drawing others in to join you!

dr seuss quoteWe should dream big simply because it makes us a better person. Dreaming makes us more interesting to those around us and makes us see beyond the reality of today, which sometimes, is a very difficult one to face. There are a few keys to dreaming big: (1) it is to not just dream for yourself, but to dream for those around you, and to allow them to dream big, to imagine the impossible for themselves; (2) to realize it IS a dream, one that may or may not one day be fulfilled, but its purpose is to stretch your imagination to see beyond the practical sensibilities of your present state, to give you the fortitude to reach beyond to where you can be; and (3) to realize the dreaming isn’t always for the realization of the dream, but for the possibilities, the growth and the learning in the process. Unrealized big dreams, sometimes, are more fun to imagine than the actuality once they arrive. Think of Peter Pan. He was always dreaming, always scheming, and even though, all his dreams weren’t completely realized, he had such fun while traveling on his journeys! (Yes, I know this is a fictional character, but work with me here! 😉 )

So, dream with me while living this reality in which we live. Dream big for your family, for your children, for your friends. Encourage them to dream big and to seek after those dreams. Most of all, dream big for YOU. You might be surprised at where it takes you! 🙂

Emersonquote2

Daily Prompt:  Dream

Mom’s Job

/ The WheatandTares / 1 Comment

We, as moms, have so many jobs, so many responsibilities to fulfill. These change often, too, depending on the age of our children, the different seasons of life, and the various needs of our family. What my roll was, as a mom with our boys, 10 years ago looks somewhat different than today; yet, I have found a few “mom jobs” to remain constant over the years. If these go missing, chaos seems to presume.

  Speak Life – It is our responsibility to speak life into our home and our children. We need to encourage, admonish, admire and lead by example. Christ said, “I am the Way, the Truth and the Life…” When we speak life to them, it is the beginning of their seeing Christ. It causes them to see a better way than where their fleshly desires would entice them. When we speak life, it guides them in truth. Solomon, the wisest man in Scripture, had a mother who spoke life into him. You can see that in Proverbs 31, when she admonishes him about drinking and shares with him what kind of “good woman” he should seek. Speaking life is not condoning sin or emphasizing failures. It is giving them God’s best in their moment in order for growth, strength and transformation to occur.

  Provide Liberty (freedom) – It is incumbent upon us to give our children the freedom to grow into the man or woman they are meant to be. We begin this from a very early age. We hold their hand to teach them to walk, and then, we let go so they can. We hold onto the back of the bike so they can get steady, and then, we let go and watch them bike around the block on their own. We help them in so many ways, at the beginning holding on to make sure they’ve got it, and then, we watch them as they learn to do things on their own. We must do this with their dreams as well! It is our job to help them to dream and to one day fly to higher heights, and we must give them the freedom to do so! When we hold on to tightly, or we hold them back because of fear, competition or even jealousy, we cripple them and cause their way to be harder than it needs to be. They may still reach their dreams, but oh, the hardships and battles they have to face along the way!

  Give Love – It is our calling to love those God puts in our care. We were made as nurturing creatures. We were created as networking beings, to reach out, to connect. We have been developed to care, to cry, to comfort and to cover our loved ones with our love and prayers. If we are not reaching our arms up in prayer and out in love, we will wreak havoc on all those around us. That’s why it’s so important for us, as women but especially as mothers, to release anger, bitterness, strife and unforgiveness. If we hold onto these things, we don’t just simply “cover it up and hope it goes away,” as we often want to believe we can. It breeds in our home and eventually manifests in all areas of our lives, as well as, in the lives of our children. We must love. We must care. We must reach out. Hannah brought a new coat to little Samuel every year at the time of the feast offerings. There is a whole book in the Bible devoted to the story of Ruth and how she not only loved her husband but how she loved her mother-in-law. Esther changed the heart of a king by her love for her God, her husband and her people.

It is said, “The mother is the heart of the home.” I tend to agree with this statement, but I want to make it a little more specific. I believe she can be the heartbeat of the home. With her attentiveness, her effort and her consistent focus on Christ, she can not only keep a hand on the pulse of the home, but she can also become the heartbeat of that home. If she is stable, loving, courageous, bold, prayerful, gentle and kind, her home has a better chance of being the same. If she is imbalanced, hateful, fearful, lacking in prayer, grouchy and just plain mean, her home will most likely emulate the same attitude and personality.

Men weren’t created to do these things the way a woman was! They have their own purpose and their own calling within the home, but it is different than a woman’s. We have a purpose, and we must fulfill it, or everyone loses!

“Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her:
 “Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all.”
Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. Honor her for all that her hands have done, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.”   Proverbs 31:28-31

Happy belated Mother’s Day!

A letter to My Pregnant Self…

/ The WheatandTares

If I could go back to when I was pregnant with JGrizz, I would tell myself a few things to be remembered…

Decide, now, you will not sleep for the first three months, and then, when you get that first 30 minute nap, it will be absolutely glorious!

Everything you need to know won’t always be found in a book, given by your doctor, or even spoken by your mother. Sometimes, you’ll just have to follow your instincts.

There will be a time, your instincts will be proven wrong. This doesn’t mean you’re a failure, and this doesn’t mean it’s the end of the world. It means you’re human. It means you’re normal.

The house can’t always be kept clean. Toys seem to come alive in the night and find their way back to the living room before you awake. Learn to organize on a very small scale…very small…like one toy in one basket…at any given time.

One boy can have the volume of a surround sound system on level 55. Two boys can create a front row rock concert experience at 7:00 am. and, again, at 11:30pm.

When your three year old little boy refuses to come down from the Chic-Fil-A slide, it really does not mean you’re a terrible mom…Really.

That day when you have to literally step over your two and a half year old who is pitching a fit on sidewalk, in the front of the church, it does not mean you have failed at parenting. It means you are being brave and strong.

Enjoy those little scribbles and backward letters and upside down numbers … even when you find them on the bedroom wall. For one day, your child will be getting ready to apply for colleges far away from home.

Cherish those moments your two year old rides his Little Tykes motorized Harley in the backyard, for one day, way too soon, he will be talking about his soon coming birthday when he can get his license or driver’s permit.

There will be days when you just drink that cup of coffee and simply survive…and have one more cup of coffee to just make it till your early bedtime.


Find an outlet for your stress. Make time for you…even if it takes scheduling that night out on the calendar, and daddy has to keep the baby. He can do it. He loves that baby, too.

Make time for you and daddy, too. Dating your man IS important. If you and he don’t love each other, your child may not get to see what a great marriage is all about.

Most of all, make time for God, and this doesn’t have to be hours on end spent in the Upper Room. There will be seasons, especially when those babies are little, when devotions will come in snatches of time…it might be a Scripture today that brings peace to your weary mind, a Bible story tomorrow read from a children’s book that brings strength to your heart, and your favorite pastor’s sermon on Sunday morning which brings conviction and healing to your wounded soul.

God’s not about the rules, regulations and perfection. He wants a relationship. He wants to hear your thoughts. He wants to consume your heart. He loves you, and He wants to help you be the best mom you can be. He wants you to know He loves you and that YOU ARE ENOUGH!

Let me say it again, YOU ARE ENOUGH. This being a mom bit is CRAZY hard, but it is so very worth it!! … Be real. Be you. Find God in the chaos and hang on…Hang onto Him with all you’ve got, and you’ll make it.

“You just be you, and God will take care of the rest.” – Bones, Moms’ Night Out

“I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.”  Psalm 139:14

The Best Gift

/ The WheatandTares

The best gift you can give your child is the gift of hope. I’m not talking about the hope that comes from having a great job or more money. I’m not talking about hope that comes from being more or having more.

I’m talking about a hope that cannot be bought with a salary or influence or even wishful thinking. This hope to which I refer is not one made of human hands or even human aspirations. It’s a hope beyond your wildest imaginations.

This hope is truly a gift, because not only can it not be bought, but it also cannot be worked for or earned in any way, shape, or form. To obtain it, we can’t ever become a better person or act better; yet, because of it, we do become a better person, and it does cause us to act better.

This hope doesn’t make the world perfect, but it does make it closer to perfection. It doesn’t make us sinless, but it does make us sin less. It is a perfect hope, one without sin or blemish, mistake or failure.

This hope is Jesus Christ, His redeeming love, and salvation for us. This hope is wrapped up in heaven and our reconciliation to that wonderful world beyond. This is the hope of which I speak. This is the very best gift you can give your child.

For without hope, a man will surely perish. Without hope, a woman will grow bitter and full of malice and dread. Without hope, a child will be consumed with fear and confusion and rage.

True hope can only come from God, for His Hope brings peace and healing. His Hope brings strength. His Hope brings restoration and reconciliation.

True hope brings love into the home and runs depression, chaos and confusion right out of your mind. Hope gives a purpose and brings a calling. Hope will never fail you.

Don’t delay. Don’t hesitate. When you have this hope, your best days are ahead of you. Seize that hope for your child’s better future. Hope for brighter days, and hope to make the most of the night, wherever you are. Hope for a better future, an eternal hope. This is the best life gift to give your child.

Find it, and give it today.

“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope.” Romans 15:13

“Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.” Hebrews 11:1

“Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life.” Proverbs 13:12

Build Superhero Status

/ The WheatandTares


When our boys were little, they were always posing, play fighting, and attacking life as some kind of superhero. Our oldest would dress up in the full Batman mask and cape, ready to face every enemy lurking around the corner; it didn’t matter that we were only going to the store. He was ready for whatever may come! Our youngest didn’t dress up in the cape as much, but he wore out that Batman mask! 🙂

Our children always want to be something great. Let’s let help them. Let’s let them be the heroes they choose, no matter what age they might be. Let’s imagine with them, pretend with them, even believe with them. They are only little once. Those years fly by so quickly. It’s as if I blinked, and now, I see a teen growing into a man and a young boy growing into a teen. I miss those younger years, sometimes, but I know they must grow. I know they cannot stay small forever.

Yet, even as they grow, they still have dreams of being a hero. It might not be Batman, and it may not be Superman, but there are dreams still alive, villains still to be captured and battles still to be won. Find out what those are, and help them not just make it and survive; help them conquer and thrive. Breathe life into those imaginations. Let the dreams live on. Give them the tools to fight those battles and win BIG.

For every Superhero was once a small child. Every mother, every father, for generations past, was once a little girl and a little boy dreaming of the hero they would on day become, and so many still, yet, dream of the hero they once were or the one they desire to be…

 

Wednesday’s Ode #40

/ The WheatandTares

…oops, I mistakenly noted last Wednesday  W.O. #40, and I’m sorry I miscounted!

IMG_3569

I love our boys, and I love my man. I am definitely outnumbered, but honestly, I wouldn’t have it any other way. They keep life fun, challenging and adventurous. If it were just me, it probably end up being a little boring.

Our youngest is sweet, compassionate and ready for whatever adventure may come. You can read about him in my post from yesterday.

Our oldest is strong, loving and daring enough to try anything once. He just amazes me! You can read more about him here.

My husband is one of a kind. He always says, “Upon meeting me, people either love me or hate me. There’s not a lot of in between.” I suppose, that’s true. He is an intense guy when it comes to his convictions and the love he has for His God and his family. He’s not an easy one to disagree with; however, he’s also incredible when it comes to interacting with people. I have seen very few with the ability to lead as he does. I know, I can be bias; however, there’s an army of people who would agree with me. His ability is uncanny, at times. He seems to see things others don’t see, and he has the courage to “make the call,” even when others around him are  wondering if it the right one…and he’s rarely wrong! He never meets a stranger, and after he hangs out, you’d think he’s your best friend. He has a knack for making people feel welcomed and at home. Often, I envy his outgoing personality, because I am so quiet and reserved, most of the time.

Our house is always “moving.” Something is always going on; there’s always action of some kind. Well, we do have “down time,” don’t get me wrong. Each one of us, actually, has learned to find a place of calm and serenity to regroup and recharge, but with my personality of introversion and reserve, I suppose, I feel as if there’s always movement. Haha. There’s is always an adventure to get to and something new to explore. 😉

I just love these guys so much; my heart feels as if it might bust sometimes. They are my heartbeats. They are my world. I am so blessed to be with each of them, and I’m excited to see where our adventures, and our God, will lead us.

…I guess if I must be outnumbered, this is the best way to be! 😊

Train Them Up

/ The WheatandTares / 2 Comments

Repost, with a little addition… 😉

The Bible says, “Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” Proverbs 22:6. As we strive daily to teach our children strong values and Godly principles, I often wonder how we’re doing. Dealing with the ever shifting cultural standards, the pressures from the outside that scream, “You’re too old fashion!” “You’re intolerant!” “You’re behind the times,” I am tempted, almost daily, to question my motives, intentions and purpose for setting these “rules,” these boundaries, these standards by which we live. Having a young teen in our home, one who is striving to find himself, to determine his own faith, ‘not that of mom and dad,’ and to become the man he so longs to be, it causes me, at times, to pause, to ponder, to almost take a poll to see if I’m doing right by him, if I’m teaching him these things for his own good … or for mine. 

Good parenting doesn’t come easy. Good parenting isn’t a popularity contest. It isn’t a survey we take to see who approves and who doesn’t. Good parenting takes faithfulness to the One who created it. It takes a lot of love, mercy and grace. Good parenting takes tenacity to carry on, to uphold your standards and to stick to your convictions, even when you’re all alone and “nobody else is getting’ it” or doing it your way. 

 I definitely don’t believe I’ve “arrived” at “great parenting;” I’m not sure any parent every feels they’ve mastered this. However, through the years of observing so many, learning through the ups and downs, and seeking God’s Word, I believe I can share with you what good parenting looks like… The best kind of parent has the faith to remain a boundary while all others run away in fear of ridicule. The best kind of parent stands with courage in the face of rejection and loneliness. The best kind of parent has also learned when to say, “I’m sorry. I was wrong,” even when it hurts their own pride to do so. This parent loves beyond the failings, keeps believing beyond the mishaps and keeps cheering beyond the cold winds of adversity. This parent, also, knows when to push forward and when to pause and let them breathe. Lastly, the best kind of parent keeps loving when the door to their child’s heart has been slammed shut, and it appears he or she will never come back home. 

 Good parenting skills don’t come easy. It’s not a game in which you roll the dice and see if you hit the jackpot. No, good parenting takes faith. It takes determination. It takes a strong heart to love deep and remain true. It takes a strong mind to think the unthinkable, to plan for the unpredictable and to dream the unimaginable. It takes humility, love and grace for success to come, and, sometimes, that success may not be realized for almost a lifetime. 

So, if I may charge you today: keep the faith, Mom. Hold up that standard, Dad. Remain true to the One who called you to this purpose. You can do this! You can survive! Those little hearts are counting on you. They need your love. They need your guidance. They need your boundaries that protect them from the evil outside. They need your standards that protect them from themselves. Keep fighting the good fight! You only have a few years to win this battle for the souls of the next generation. Don’t give up. Don’t give in, and never let them see you cower in fear. You were made for this. This is your destiny.  

In this one thing, you can rest assured, is Word does not fail. is promises are true. You train that child to follow Him, they will know the way home. Yes, it will have to be their choosing; He will never force their hand. He will never demand their love, but He will be ever present, ever drawing them with His love that is unconditional, His love that never fails.  

 …These are the moments when my heart is reassured that we are on the right path…                    At a summer youth camp,  I looked up and saw him immersed in worship… 

 His dream is to be a Christian Rapper…so, we work hard to help him realize his dreams even while he is still young… 

At bedtime, we find him like this more often than not… (Many times, he’s fallen asleep reading his Action Bible.)  

    …Parents, be encouraged today. sometimes, it’s the it’s the little things that we fail to notice, and sometimes, those are the very things that matter!

Time Stands Still

/ The WheatandTares

Last week had a pretty full agenda, usual routine things, several added appointments for me, and several added items for the boys, but all that changed around 4am Wednesday morning…

IMG_9709
JMan came in the bedroom, tapped me on the shoulder and told me he had just thrown up. My brain, still groggy from sleep, didn’t immediately register what he was telling me; so, I said, “Okay, go back and lay down. I’ll be there in just a second.” As I heard him leave the room, my brain and my “mom instincts” kicked in. I got up, went and got blankets to make a pallet in the guest room (I always “quarantine” the sick, hoping to contain the germs), retrieved my own pillows, and told little man to come with me.

I proceeded to make him a pallet, set up water bottles, towels and a night light. We were “set” for a night of sickness, or so I thought, knowing that the boys’ usual course is about 6-8 hrs., and they’re done. At noon that day, after following him to help in the restroom every 30 minutes since 4am, I began to wonder if this was going to be the normal run of sickness. Five hours later, I was convinced this was one nasty stomach bug that wasn’t going to let go so easily.

Everything stopped that day. I cancelled my dentist appointment to get a crown, which I have to say, I wasn’t too upset about. I put off plans to cook for the week (I had had plans to cook several days’ worth of meals), and we ordered out for lunch. My husband took JGrizz back and forth to church with him, as I’m usually the chauffeur, allowing my husband to prepare for his Wednesday night class. I asked someone else to record JGrizz in a drama performance; since, I couldn’t be there, and I called the choir director to notify him of my absence. Joey then chauffeured JGrizz back and forth to school the next two days, as well as, helped him to study for tests and confirmed homework was done, and he taxied him to other events and church for the weekend, all the things which I am very accustomed to doing in my day to day routine.

All day Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, and Saturday, I was totally focused on taking care of JMan, tending to his needs, praying, refilling water bottles and cleaning up behind him, all the while, hoping and praying no one else would get sick. (This was a very nasty bug!!) My routine became matched with his, sleeping when he slept and waking when he awoke; otherwise, I stumbled around trying to catch up on the lost sleep, which, I basically did anyway during those hours. It’s never easy sleeping when you’re baby’s sick! I stayed huddled up with him in that guest room for four days. Nothing else mattered except getting him well.

Due to both my boys and my husband depending on me for different things day to day, I had to fight internally with my own mother and wife instincts throughout that time. I felt obligated and needed to tend to JMan’s needs, while I also battled guilt over not being able to be there for our oldest son’s youth competitions that weekend and leaving all the burden on my husband to make sure they were both taken care of and arrived at all the places at which they needed to be for the total of five days (by the time JMan really got well).

It made me think of families whose babies have gone through trauma, are experiencing a terminal illness, or even have a long-term sickness that maybe can’t be diagnosed. How do they function over time? How do they manage their homes, their lives, their personal needs? This realization came to me: they find a “new normal.” Yes, that’s the only thing you can do when your loved one is sick, and they need you. All the other things in life, those things which you thought were of such importance, just seem to fade away. The focus becomes crystal clear: the well being of your child.

IMG_9721
Those days gave me a new perspective. A perspective that, I’m sure, was really always there. It wasn’t the first time our little man had been sick; however, it was the first time he’d been this sick. It was, also, the first time in a long time, I suppose, I stood back and thought of more than just getting through the moments of sickness and maybe thought of more than just the sickness of my own child. It reminded me that time seems to stand still when you least expect it. It reminded me, as I often encourage others to do, to make sure I’m living life to the fullest, and cherishing those with whom I’m living and sharing this life. For, none of us know what tomorrow might bring, and what a pitiful state we will be in if we only realize tomorrow what we missed out on today!

So, can I encourage you today? Take time for those you love, not just in the tough moments, but in the good moments as well. Step back and see those you love in the moments right where they are. Cherish them. Hold them. Love them. Step back and take a look around. Take notice of who is there, where you are, and where you are going together. When we’re able to step back and see the bigger picture, we’re apt to learn so much more!

Move from Strength to Strength, Momma!

/ The WheatandTares / 1 Comment

We sang a song in choir the other day that had this verse, “We move from strength to strength…” It was running through my head this morning, and I thought of my grandparents. They have always been pillars of strength and my examples to follow in life. As a mom, these examples have helped me to be a better mom, a better wife, and, in general, just a better person.

My grandfather was a “man’s man,” nothing ever seemed impossible to him. He grew up poor, was ridiculed and pushed himself to success. He founded his own heating and air business, was county commissioner of his small town, retired at a young age and lived out his days enjoying life and traveling with his wife to see kids, grandkids and sights all over the US.

My grandmother was born in the first year of the depression to a commercial fisherman and his wife. She had 3 sisters, and they didn’t have much, but they had each other and their faith. They found that was all they needed. To our family, and to many, my grandfather was always seen as a pillar of strength, and my grandmother has been the epitome of grace; no matter what comes in life, she seems to handle it with grace and dignity. Even before my earliest memories, these two have been a big part of my life; so, it comes as no surprise that a lot of their ways have become mine. Many people say I take after my grandmother, and my husband seems to be fashioned from much of the same mold as my grandfather. One of the biggest things they both taught me over the years was strength and grace.

I believe we can only move from strength to strength when we live by grace. Trying to move from strength to strength, without grace for the moments in between, is like trying to move a sailboat without the wind. You can definitely move it, with oars, of course, but it sure does take a lot more work than if you had wind to move it across the sea. The wind is what brings speed for the vessel and “rest” for the captain. When the wind is pushing the sails, the captain still has some work to do, but it sure makes for an easier time of sailing!

This is how it should be with our lives. We can be men and women of strength, but if we don’t have grace, we’re always struggling with the weight of our task. When we have no grace, we may be irritable, grouchy or even down right mean when it comes to dealing with others who get in our way or those who want to “jump on” for the ride. Grace refreshes our weary souls. It gives us compassion for others who may be on the same path. Grace brings joy in the midst of the trial, and it gives us perseverance for the journey.

Ladies (and men, too, actually), can I challenge you today? Live your days from strength to strength, robed not in your own will power and force but rather, robed in grace which softens you around the edges. Let that grace cocoon your strength to allow it to become a pillar of hope to others along the way, a refuge which brings refreshment to yourself and other “travelers,” and a solid foundation that helps you persevere through whatever life brings to you. When you live through the ups and downs of life with dignity and grace, you leave a legacy that others long to follow.

If I could, I’d like to encourage you in this, as well:  don’t live your life from crisis to crisis. It’s so unbecoming. It’s so unsettling, and frankly, it can even be obnoxious! 😉 This doesn’t mean you have to be stoic all the time, never crying or showing emotion, but when you live from one panicked moment to the next, it is exhausting to you and everyone around you. No one knows how to receive you from one day to the next, and you leave a river of chaos for your children to swim through. However, when there’s a peace inside that can’t be shaken, it gives you stability even through the darkest storms, and it will actually draw others to you. They learn from your strength; they gain the courage to face their own fears and trials, and they even learn how to become a symbol of stability for someone else who may be facing the same situations.

I have definitely found this to be true with my children. When I am calm and graceful through the trials of life, my children are better equipped to handle the hard places in which they sometimes find themselves. It doesn’t mean that I never show fear, or tears, or even that I am always stone-faced without any emotion. (Anyone who is close to me knows I probably shed way more than my share of tears! – both happy and not so happy ones) I am definitely a woman of emotion; however, I also don’t rely on my own strength to carry me through the rough spots. My kids know that my faith rests in my God who will carry me through. They know that when we rely on His grace for our strength everyday, the end result of our emotional well being and the well being of our entire household is a lot better off! I’m hoping they take these lessons with them for life.

The picture I have in my mind, of this kind of strength, is being in a storm shelter with your daddy, granddad, or husband , someone whom you feel is invincible and “can never die.” It may not be the grandest of circumstances, and you definitely would rather be somewhere else in that moment, but you rest in the knowing that no matter what comes on the outside of that shelter, you’re gonna make it, and everything’s going to be alright! You know that no matter what winds come against that door, that man will hold you till your body stops trembling and you are able to stand on your own two feet, and when you’re unable to stand, he will put his arms around you, or even pick you up and carry you until you can.

That’s the picture of strength I’m trying to give you! That’s the kind of strength we need to have. This is what we must pass to our children so they might survive in this crazy world. We must let it flow to those around us so that they might be able to stand and comfort when others cannot.