Hold On Tightly

I want to be so close to God that His nature is mine. I want to walk so close to Him that our steps combine, and I find myself tripping over His. I want to be so in tune to His voice that I hear nothing but what He longs for me to hear.

Yet, I find myself time and again, wandering on this path He has set. I find myself distracted from where He is, and I end up tripping over my own fleshly desires and appetites. I get clouded in my vision and become reduced to a straining-to-hear-even-a-whisper MESS of carnal reasoning and wisdom-like-faith filled with nothingness.

Why do we slip so easily? How is it that we entered this race so passionately, only to realize we may not endure till the end? I have found it is so similar to a child’s journey through life. As a babe, he clings desperately to his mother in exteme demand for his every need and desire. As a toddler, she learns to toddle along, still needing help but ever learning strength and resilience on her own. As a teen, he pushes back, needing space and independence to find his voice in this world. Finally finding adulthood, flying to depths beyond and, often times, wishing that we could one day return to the comfort and security of a mother’s arms.

Maybe, that is why Christ said, “…unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven...” (Matt. 18:2-4) Maybe, we work so hard to become “all grown up” that we forget to hold tightly to His hand. Just maybe, if we held tighter to His hand, we would find our steps are sustained by His grace rather than our own strength. Maybe, we would find this journey of life just a little more endurable, not because we have easier days of circumstance, but because we lean so heavily into His presence that He carries us through those moments rather than us trying to walk through them alone.

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.” Proverbs 3:5-6

 

 

Just Hold On

 

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Sometimes, the world feels like it comes crashing in like a tidal wave. You feel as if you’re drowning under the weight of all that is around you. You feel like you must move, but it seems as if your feet are stuck in the muck and mire of circumstances. 

You cry out to those around you, because after all, you’ve learned not to swim this channel alone; yet, even through the conversations, the prayers and the support, you feel as if you’re barely treading water. It’s as if one false move will cause your foot to slip, and you will begin gasping for breath again, bobbing up and down in the water, struggling to make any headway.

In that moment, He is still there. He has always been there, and He always will be. He made a promise, and He cannot break His promises, because He is beholden to every single one. He will never leave you nor forsake you. Even when you can’t feel Him. Even when you feel as if He is no where to be found and your prayers are hitting the brass ceiling above. He is there. He was always there, and He forever will be.

Hold on, child. Do not waver. Do not turn away. Hold on with all your might. Hold on with every. single. breath. For you will breathe again. You will come through this season. You will see the beautiful rays of light again. It may feel like an eternity, but you will not be shaken when you hold onto His eternal hand.

… Honestly, I don’t know how He does it, and when you’re in the middle of the storm, it can really feel like a cheap cliché that Christians throw out to sound spiritual. However, I can speak from strong conviction and from personal experience. He IS a God who NEVER fails. He is faithful and true. I don’t know how people live without His strength in their lives. I have found peace and hope in Him that I could never find on my own. I have found a love that sustains through it all.

He will not fail you. He will not turn away. He loves you. He promises to deliver, and He promises to return again to take you home. Just hold on.

“Weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning.” Psalm 30:5b

“You whom I have taken from the ends of the earth, And called from its farthest regions, And said to you, ‘You are My servant, I have chosen you and have not cast you away: Fear not, for I am with you; Be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, Yes, I will help you, I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.’ Isaiah 41:9-10

 

 

Grace and Mercy

Bruised, shaking fists
Clenched, knuckle-white hands
Twisted face

Tightly closed-shut eyes
Letting in not a droplet of light
A life branded by pain
Where is the grace?
Where is the mercy?

A life cut short.
An unexplained sin.
A life-long disease.

The wounded, wound.
The pained cause pain.
The abused, abuse.

Oh, God, my heart grieves.
My eyes weep till tears are no more.
My knuckles are bloody from the pain.
Where is the grace?
Where is the mercy?

The flowers are denied their bloom.
The sun refuses to rise to give any warmth.
The wind will not send the breeze.

The world has turned gray.
The laughter is silent for miles.
The innocence has been hidden.
When will this pain end?
When will this grief hide?

This brokenness, a bloody mess.

These wounds and scars too deep to heal.
We clutch at life. No heartbeat is felt.
The air is toxic. No breath can be found.
Where is Your grace?
Where is Your mercy now?

It is found at the cross.
That bleeding, broken, wretched place. That is where Your grace abounds.
As You watched Your own Son die, You saw our sin. You saw our redemption.
It was there, Your grace and mercy from death began its prevention.

We only see what isn’t.
The grief. The emptiness. The death. We live with the loss.
The regret. The shame. The failure.
We see only the holes on the canvas of life.
Never realizing the void can be filled again with a joy that overflows, a love that is unconditional, a grace that is unending.

In the pain, knowledge is built.
In the sorrow, wisdom is rendered.
Emotions raw and undone.
Words broken and unsung.
How can we find this grace?
How can we receive this mercy?

Run into His loving arms.
Take His guiding hand to lead, to love.
Living breathless or breathless living.
Living fully or lifeless living.
More than alive or just less than dead.
We choose. We decide. We live life or death.

Penned – MG – 1/23/15

The Day of Promise

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I sat in the back, ever the silent observer. I watch. I speculate. I admire. I reminisce. They stand at the front facing one another. The stress of the day is falling off as they interlock fingers and get lost in one another’s eyes.
Stone
Brick
Burlap

Tomorrow is what they’ve longed for all their life. They think. They plan. They rejoice. They dream. They reach for that sacred ring. The weight of the promise spreading wide and becoming light as they remember the One Who keeps their hearts true.
Gold
Silver
White

She walks the aisle for all to see. She blinks. She smiles. He stares. He desires. They gaze and wonder for the days to come. The realization of hopes coming true and revealing the love forever sealed.
Happiness
Covenant
Faithfulness

Embraced with Hope.
Sealed with Love.

This Day of Promise.

Broken Promises

 

Clouds of confusion filter through

Dark memories of you cover my view

My eyes, so tired, filled up with tears

So many feelings washed away by the years

 

You said you’d be there, but you never kept your word

 

I trusted you, and you acted absurd

I gave you my heart, and now it’s broken and shattered

 

You said you loved me, but by you, I am only scarred and battered

 

This hurt is too much for me to bare

But to show another my fears, that I will not dare

Lord, please take this anger, hurt and brokenness away

Cleanse my heart completely on this very day

 

Penned – 9/27/92 – MG