real

Train Them Up

/ The WheatandTares / 2 Comments

Repost, with a little addition… đŸ˜‰

The Bible says, “Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” Proverbs 22:6. As we strive daily to teach our children strong values and Godly principles, I often wonder how we’re doing. Dealing with the ever shifting cultural standards, the pressures from the outside that scream, “You’re too old fashion!” “You’re intolerant!” “You’re behind the times,” I am tempted, almost daily, to question my motives, intentions and purpose for setting these “rules,” these boundaries, these standards by which we live. Having a young teen in our home, one who is striving to find himself, to determine his own faith, ‘not that of mom and dad,’ and to become the man he so longs to be, it causes me, at times, to pause, to ponder, to almost take a poll to see if I’m doing right by him, if I’m teaching him these things for his own good … or for mine. 

Good parenting doesn’t come easy. Good parenting isn’t a popularity contest. It isn’t a survey we take to see who approves and who doesn’t. Good parenting takes faithfulness to the One who created it. It takes a lot of love, mercy and grace. Good parenting takes tenacity to carry on, to uphold your standards and to stick to your convictions, even when you’re all alone and “nobody else is getting’ it” or doing it your way. 

 I definitely don’t believe I’ve “arrived” at “great parenting;” I’m not sure any parent every feels they’ve mastered this. However, through the years of observing so many, learning through the ups and downs, and seeking God’s Word, I believe I can share with you what good parenting looks like… The best kind of parent has the faith to remain a boundary while all others run away in fear of ridicule. The best kind of parent stands with courage in the face of rejection and loneliness. The best kind of parent has also learned when to say, “I’m sorry. I was wrong,” even when it hurts their own pride to do so. This parent loves beyond the failings, keeps believing beyond the mishaps and keeps cheering beyond the cold winds of adversity. This parent, also, knows when to push forward and when to pause and let them breathe. Lastly, the best kind of parent keeps loving when the door to their child’s heart has been slammed shut, and it appears he or she will never come back home. 

 Good parenting skills don’t come easy. It’s not a game in which you roll the dice and see if you hit the jackpot. No, good parenting takes faith. It takes determination. It takes a strong heart to love deep and remain true. It takes a strong mind to think the unthinkable, to plan for the unpredictable and to dream the unimaginable. It takes humility, love and grace for success to come, and, sometimes, that success may not be realized for almost a lifetime. 

So, if I may charge you today: keep the faith, Mom. Hold up that standard, Dad. Remain true to the One who called you to this purpose. You can do this! You can survive! Those little hearts are counting on you. They need your love. They need your guidance. They need your boundaries that protect them from the evil outside. They need your standards that protect them from themselves. Keep fighting the good fight! You only have a few years to win this battle for the souls of the next generation. Don’t give up. Don’t give in, and never let them see you cower in fear. You were made for this. This is your destiny.  

In this one thing, you can rest assured, is Word does not fail. is promises are true. You train that child to follow Him, they will know the way home. Yes, it will have to be their choosing; He will never force their hand. He will never demand their love, but He will be ever present, ever drawing them with His love that is unconditional, His love that never fails.  

 â€ŚThese are the moments when my heart is reassured that we are on the right path…                    At a summer youth camp,  I looked up and saw him immersed in worship… 

 His dream is to be a Christian Rapper…so, we work hard to help him realize his dreams even while he is still young… 

At bedtime, we find him like this more often than not… (Many times, he’s fallen asleep reading his Action Bible.)  

    …Parents, be encouraged today. sometimes, it’s the it’s the little things that we fail to notice, and sometimes, those are the very things that matter!

The Tree Grew ‘Round

/ The WheatandTares

So sorry for the delay in posting today! Thanks for your patience. I posted this a while back; however, I shared it with our church family yesterday, and it seemed to resonate with so many. So, I thought I would repost it for those who would like to read it…  

There are times in life when you’re just going to find yourself caught between a “rock and a hard place.” The rock won’t move, and the hard place won’t remove itself. Maybe, it’s the day you woke up late for your new job, and your nine month old baby woke up with a stomach virus, or maybe you were laid off right after buying that brand new car. Maybe, your mom has been diagnosed with stage 4 cancer, and your dad began showing signs of dementia last month. 

Maybe your oldest son has been struggling with a hidden drug addiction, trying to sneak around, stealing money from your nightstand, and your youngest daughter has been bullied at the new school. Maybe, your husband seems to be distant, and you just can’t seem to find enjoyment in any of the past delights you two once had. Maybe, you had to say goodbye to a loved one, and you just weren’t ready for that yet. There are times in life when you wish it could be different. You wonder what you’re going to do, how you’re ever going to make it. 

Sometimes, life is hard. It is what it is. There’s really no changing the way the earth spins on its axis or in altering the way the clouds gather in the sky. You’re going to face hard times. I don’t care who you are, how much money you have, or how many people love you, you’re going to have disappointments in this life. You’re going to encounter obstacles in the road. It’s just the way it is, and if you haven’t had any troubles as of yet, well, just keep on living, because every elderly person on the planet can attest to this truth: Life is not always easy, and sometimes, we just have to “weather through the storm.” 

The question is not, “Will trials ever come?” The better question is, “What will I do when the rains come?” If you can ever answer that question before the storms come, you will be much better suited to survive. In that moment, you have a choice to make. You can choose to stop, to hesitate, to allow the circumstances, those hard things, to stunt your growth and keep you from reaching your destiny. You can let that rock hinder you from reaching your dreams. You can even “fold over” on top of yourself and never move beyond where you were in that moment of crisis.  

Or, you can choose to press forward. Paul said, “Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 3:13-14) You can choose to be like the tree in this picture that refused to be dwarfed by the rock in the path. You can choose to allow those tough spots to make you stronger, more resilient to the pain. You can choose to find joy in the little things, blessings in those people who surround you in that moment of heartache, and even, just peace in the gentle breeze that blows or warmth in the sun that shines.  

We all have choices which can hold us back from our destiny or propel us toward our dreams. It’s up to us to choose, and when we make that choice of forward determination, our lives will be better for it. Let’s choose to grow ’round that rock that crept into our path on our way to greatness. Let’s be those whose “life tree” may have twists and turns, bends and curves, but whose branches still reach around those hard places up toward the sky. 

Gold All Around You

/ The WheatandTares / 2 Comments

This week, we are celebrating our oldest son as he is turning 14. I can’t believe it. Seems like it was just yesterday that we were bringing him home from the hospital. In celebration of this event, I thought I would repost a blog I wrote to him last year. I am very proud to be his mom, and I hope as I share this with you, it will encourage you as a parent, as a grandparent, or even as someone who desires to make an impact on this next generation…
He was born a dreamer. He has always dreamed big dreams. At the age of four, he was Batman, Spider-Man, policeman and cowboy, all combined within that sweet tiny frame; the image altering daily, depending upon the mood of the hour. When he had turned nine, the superheroes had faded, and music had taken over. He was a “gangsta-rapper” one day and TobyMac or B-SHOC the next. Always dreaming of greatness, always hoping for the big stage, the bright lights, and the gold coins.   

Today, his heart is set to the beat of a different drum. He doesn’t conform too much to those around him. He has his own style, his own fashion and, yes, his own swagger. He is his own man, and he loves it. He loves Jesus, and he doesn’t care who knows it. He wants others to see what he sees and feel what he feels.

Often, I see the little boy alive in his eyes, and my heart skips a beat for what once was. I see him shooting for the stars, and I pray he never stops or even hesitates. I see him making plans and setting aspirations into action, and I pray The Lord keeps him within His grasp, always leading and guiding him down the right path.

In those moments, I realize, this is what it’s all about: Dreams. Hopes. Aspirations. Reaching for something great. This is what brings about change. This is what brings about true freedom from conformity. This is what brings about new “life.” As a little child dreams, hope is birthed in the soul, and ope brings them to a brighter future…Christ said, “Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.” 

For if we fail to dream, if we fail to reach for the stars, something dies within. We must let the child live. We must cultivate those dreams of yesterday. Yeah, some things change, and life always moves on. Time never stops, but yet, if we lose track of it without a dream, it surely does drag along. If we forget to get lost in the yester-years, every once in a while, how will we ever remember how much has changed, and how will we ever see how far we’ve come?

So, dream on, my sweet child. Dream big. Plan long, and aspire for greatness! You can shoot for all the stars in the sky, and even if you don’t make it to the one in your sights, you’ll still get further than if you never reached for it to start. I see gold all around you, and I believe it’s because the stars are within your grasp. Let Him guide you to the right ones, and He will help you get there. When you do, just reach up and take hold. It’s yours for the dreaming, and when you’re amongst the stars, that’s when you’ll see the gold that I see all around you.  

Partial obedience is still disobedience

/ The WheatandTares

1 John 2:3-6, “We know that we have come to know him if we keep his commands. Whoever says, “I know him,” but does not do what he commands is a liar, and the truth is not in that person. But if anyone obeys his word, love for God[a] is truly made complete in them. This is how we know we are in him: Whoever claims to live in him must live as Jesus did.”

If JMan is playing in the road and I see a car he doesn’t, I’m going to tell him to get out of the road immediately! If he only moved to one side of the road, this is disobedience, and he can still get hurt! His life may depend on his COMPLETE obedience of my command to him.  
If JGrizz isn’t supposed to be on his phone after a certain hour, but he decides that he’s Just got to make one more phone call 30mins later, that’s still disobedience; even though, he is only making one call. Now, this one phone call of disobedience might not cost him his life; yet, it could possibly lead him down a path that, later on, he’ll wish to God he hadn’t taken! No matter how big or small the “event” may appear in the moment, disobedience always comes with a cost. 

Sometimes, I think we act this same way with God. He gives us a directive, even a command in His Word, and we obey it, but only to a certain extent. We obey, but only till it costs us a little more than we’re willing to give. We might even try convincing ourselves that we are obeying Him, because, “after all, He doesn’t really want us to be suffering or unhappy, does He?”

Abraham was told to take his promised son, Isaac, on top of mount Mariah and sacrifice him. God didn’t tell Him the outcome. God didn’t say to him, “Well, you can take a little lamb with you, too; so, you’ll be convinced, ahead of time, of my provision.” No, all Abraham was told to do was take his son up the side of a mountain and kill him!! 

Now, I don’t know about you, but honestly, I can’t say, right now, that I could happily comply with that! Abraham obeyed to the full extent, and it looked as if his full obedience would cost him his dream! This dream for which he had hoped and believed for YEARS…God told him he would father nations when he was 75…Sarah birthed Isaac when Abraham was 100 years old!! … That’s 25 YEARS!! God then told him to sacrifice his dream. That’s some heavy obedience which he did; yet, Abraham FULLY BELIEVED God would fulfill and keep His promise to him! 

I wonder if we often hesitate to fully obey, because we don’t fully believe… Sure, we believe when it’s easy. We believe when things are good, but what about when He tells us to speak His name to a nonbeliever who might just ridicule us? What about when He calls us to a ministry that might be a little scary when we’ve got to leave our home, our family, our friends, maybe even our homeland? What about when He asks us to give Him our whole tithes? You know, not just the “extra, off the top of a recent overtime weekend,” tithes, but that consistent 10% when our weekly budget barely cuts it now? What about when He leads us to give up that meal to spend the hour in prayer with Him? There are so many more I could list… 

THAT kind of obedience can be challenging, can’t it? That kind of obedience can make us dig down deep, not just in our pockets, but in the depths of our soul. We have to ask ourselves in that moment, “Do I really trust God enough to obey Him? Do I really believe the promises He’s given me?” In His Word, He promised us, time and again, that when we obey, there are things He will do. We just simply have to believe and to obey. 
Let me give you a few examples:
“…if my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and I will forgive their sin and will heal their land.” 2 Chronicles 7:14. 

“Follow my decrees and be careful to obey my laws, and you will live safely in the land.” Leviticus 25:18

““Be strong and very courageous. Be careful to obey all the law my servant Moses gave you; do not turn from it to the right or to the left, that you may be successful wherever you go.” Joshua 1:7

I know, I know, these are just OT commands, right? After all, we “live by grace now,” right?? …maybe you’d like for me to give a few NT Scriptures instead…

“Very truly I tell you, whoever obeys my word will never see death.” John 8:51

Jesus replied, “Anyone who loves me will obey my teaching. My Father will love them, and we will come to them and make our home with them.” John 14:23

“Therefore, my dear friends, as you have always obeyed—not only in my presence, but now much more in my absence—continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill his good purpose.” Philippians 2:12-13

I have found, when we half-way obey Christ, too often, we miss His BEST for us. We miss out on His joy, His peace, His rest. Sometimes, just as I gave the illustration of my son getting halfway out of the road, when we just obey God half-way, we might even put ourselves in harm’s way! God doesn’t give us commands to follow simply to control us or to make our lives miserable. He gives us instruction to protect us, provide for us and to give us the very BEST He can give us!! Our complete obedience is for our complete good!

Partial obedience is still disobedience, but oh, the sweet promises we enjoy when we give Him our full obedience!!

“If you keep my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commands and remain in his love. I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete. My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you.” John 15:10-12   (italics, mine) 

Assuming

/ The WheatandTares

Expectations. 

Assumptions. 

We all have them. We all give them. Yet, sometimes, I think we have too many, and we assert them too quickly…let’s be real for a minute…I know I do, at times…and I’m working on that.

We can’t assume we know the person nor from whence they come lest the road alongside them we travel. This can, especially, happen in the blogging world, can’t it? Let me give you an example of what I’m talking about…

I was reading a blog entry on day, and this young woman had written about the man she was missing. “…can’t breathe. Can’t sleep….sad…he’s been gone two years…” The impression was, for me, she was missing him from death. I commented to her of prayers for her loss, praying she would find comfort and grace. Then, as I read other comments, and her response, I come to realize the guy just keeps coming back and leaving. Ok, so, that was a little annoying! (Just being honest here) At first, I felt bad for her, as she grieved; however, it seemed to, now, be a pattern which she was allowing. That isn’t true grief; that’s being used and making room for it. 
Another blog entry from someone else showed pictures of beauty, words of joy. It was inspiring, encouraging. After I sent a comment, the reply I received proved she was heartbroken and desperate.
We truly can never judge a book by its cover. We can never judge a life by its appearance and, sometimes, not even by their spoken words. There are so many hurting, dying people in this world, and they will simply paint a face of happiness to shield them from further pain. They will simply withdraw; so, no one realizes the depression…because, after all, the outside world never really understands that emotion much anyway. If you don’t believe me, just open the paper and read of the heartbreaking suicides where the friends state they had no clue the person was unstable, because they simply did their job and went home. 

We can only truly know a person’s heart when we walk hand in hand, when we gently ask and are allowed inside the gates of a guarded soul, when they allow us to see their vulnerability and their truth. Sometimes, this can come simply by asking. There are those who are just waiting for someone to show they care. There are others with whom it will take days, months or even years to crack the solid built encasing of their heart, because they have fortified it for years. 

We have to determine how much we truly care and how much time we are willing to give in each relationship. Sometimes, we are too busy to give the adequate care, and so, we simply assume a certain thing, and never try to understand. Other times, we don’t have the right tools to do the hard work of listening and learning, because, after all, that’s not our personality, not our gifting, or even, not our calling. Often, it may be that the other person doesn’t have the ability to give, because so much has been taken from them. The stories and scenarios are endless. It’s so hard to know. 

Yet, for those whom we truly love, for those with whom we find our worlds colliding, we must be able to give the time and attention to break down the expectations and put away the assumptions so that true friendships and deep relationships will last. We may not understand, but the longer we walk the road together, we can learn together. We begin to see “by and by.” 

Our Children See

/ The WheatandTares / 1 Comment

We were eating b’fast at chic-fil-a one Saturday morning, and a young lady was walking out, crossing the street when JMan said something interesting…

“She looks just like you…well, except for the shorts. (She had on a pair of short-shorts.) Just to see what he would say, I asked him very inquisitively, “Why not the shorts, buddy?? You don’t think they’d look good on me?” When he looked at me in that moment, it might as well have been that I grew another head! I had such a hard time trying not to laugh. So, I kind of nudged him to say what he was thinking. He said, “Mom, did you see her shorts?? You don’t ever need to look like that! That would not be good! That would be so embarrassing if you did!!” I did laugh then, but it caused me to think…

Now, he’s only 9, and he is totally a boy (!), and we’ve taught him standards to live by; however, we don’t really talk to him about what I wear or don’t wear, and we haven’t really discussed too much about girls wearing short shorts, because he’s only nine. Yet, in that moment, I realized, once again, children see so much more than what we, sometimes, think they do. 

That’s why it’s so important to live according to the standards we set for each of our homes. My standards may not be yours and yours may not be the next guy’s; however, if we wish our kids to follow in our footsteps, we must at least keep them consistent and solid. We must keep them authentic and real, because our kids not only hear what we say, but they see more of what we do and how we live. We must live lives full of character, integrity and authenticity. We set the standards for them to see and to follow. 

Perfection

/ The WheatandTares / 3 Comments

If we could have achieved perfection on our own, we wouldn’t have needed Jesus. – Jennifer Dukes Lee

We work so hard to have perfection in every area of our lives. Yet, whose perfection are we working to achieve? Is it the perfection of the Pinterest mom?  Do you feel the need to be extra crafty, a perfect, DIY gal, making all the cute little cupcakes and crafts for the party? Is it the homeschool supermom who knows exactly what her child needs in every subject and on every lesson? Is it the grill perfect dad, knowing just when to turn that perfect steak, when to add that very last seasoning to make the meal of a lifetime for all your friends to drool? 

Or maybe it’s that perfect businessman, knowing exactly when to press in for the deal and when to walk away, leaving them begging for more? Maybe it’s the A+ college student…you know, the one who can achieve the highest scores in her sleep while writing that pristine perfect 20 page paper in a day, just after she read the 1500 page novel for American Lit! What is this “perfect” that we seek so hard to find??

Too often, it seems, we seek to find the perfection we think we see in someone else. We look. We examine. We analyze everyone else’s perceived goodness and realize our lacking. We compare our faults to their “greatness,” and we are left wanting more. Who told us they are by whom we should measure ourselves?? 

Who convinced us of their perfection? They are not the answer. They are not the picture of perfection. What they do or don’t do should never be our focus! Who are “they” anyway?? They can never satisfy our longings. They can never fulfill our dreams. They can never transform us from who were once were to whom we are destined to be!

Only the Creator of our lives can bring about perfection. Only Jesus should be our goal of perfection! He is the only one who was born of a virgin, lived a perfect life, dies for us, rose again and has promised to come again. Only HE is the picture of perfect by which we should examine our life. Only HE should be sought after for our value of perfection. 

The only way we can reach to His perfection is to first be real with our imperfections and realize we can never achieve absolute perfection until He perfects our earthly bodies with a heavenly one. We can only reach to His perfection by becoming more like Him and so much less like ourselves. It’s a daily struggle, a daily walk toward His cross and away from our flesh…It’s a daily journey in realism. Why don’t we try a little real-ness in our search for Him? How about a little authenticity in our daily lives? 

Are you ready for a little honesty…a little truth? Let’s drop the games that we play, and let’s get real. Let’s live lives of authenticity. Let’s live lives more like Christ: love, joy, peace, patience and truth…these are the makings for perfection! Let’s chase after Him rather than all those who would try to make us think they are perfect. 🙂

“Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.” Matthew 4:48

Wednesday’s Ode #7

/ The WheatandTares

IMG_9826This week, I’d like give my ode to books. I love books, and I love to read! Books can take you to lands unknown. Books can take you to places of which you’ve never even dreamed. Books can give facts, and books can give fiction. Books are wonderful!

I guess you could probably call me a book hoarder. I have always loved books, old ones, new ones, little ones, big ones. I buy them in bookstores, online and in antique stores. I’ll even find many treasures in the Goodwill and thrift stores! These are incredibly cheap, too. I love it!! I find those I can actually sit down and read, and some I just buy for a collection. We’ve decided, when we have a “forever home,” a place where we will someday retire, we must make one room a library. My husband loves books, too; so, we have quite a growing stack.

I just love to read. Reading can take you away to distant lands; it can instill wisdom and grace to your weary soul. Getting immersed in a book can teach you new things and can sharpen your skills. It can expand your mind to imagine and dream. You can ask any teacher or scholar, reading books WILL make you smarter!

My heart’s desire has been to instill this love I have for reading and for books into the hearts of our sons. I have bought books for both of them since they were babies (actually before they were born!), and I buy them even now that they are nine and thirteen. I am grateful they have grown to have a love for books and reading as well.

Our, now thirteen year old, got the complete Sesame Street alphabet board books on his one year birthday. He sat in the floor, amidst all those toys, looking through and ‘reading’ each individual book. There were 29 in the series! He now still enjoys some reading. However, school requires quite a bit of textbook reading; so, he has a limited interest, at best. He is reading the Hunger Games series; so, at least the desire is there a little! 😉 Our nine year old loves to read about all kinds of things, but he especially loves his Action Bible, The Hobbit, the Magic Treehouse series, and How I Survived series. My husband is an avid reader. He favorites are The Lord of the Rings trilogy, all Louis L’Amour westerns and most John Grisham novels.

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My reading spans from fiction to non, self-help to leadership and mentoring, biographies and autobiographies, and so on. On my nightstand (actually within my Kindle) right now, I have two books in which I am immersed, and about twenty-five, or quite a bit more, which are waiting “in the wing.” These days, I put most of the books on my Kindle; so, I can take them wherever I go. I absolutely love that Kindle! Oh, but that ode can be given on another day!

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How about you? Do you love books? Do you love to read? What is on your bedside table right now? What are some wonderful books you have found lately? Which is your favorite?

Comfortable Skin Livin’

/ The WheatandTares / 2 Comments

“Don’t embarrass me!” …So many people have an almost paranoia of being embarrassed in front of others. Some are indifferent to the feeling, and some are so brazen that they seem to not care, while still others have grown comfortable enough with their own flaws that they generally don’t care what others say or think of them. If you’re human, I’d say you probably fall into one of these categories.

We all have SOMETHING about ourselves that we really don’t like, something that’s different, odd, maybe even embarrassing. Depending on our own personalities, openness and confidence level, we may or may not feel comfortable with others seeing these flaws. Maybe it’s a toe or a finger that is slightly bent or longer than it ‘should’ be. Maybe it’s a set of teeth you wished would’ve had braces set so long ago. Maybe you speak too fast, too slow, too much, or just not enough. Maybe it’s a limp, a lazy eye, or even just a smile that you don’t feel ‘measures up’ to the world around you.

If you lean toward the category of people who get embarrassed easily, or those who don’t like to get embarrassed, no matter how sensitive or tough-skinned you like to portray to others that you are, then this post is written for you. If you are totally comfortable in your own skin, you don’t care one whit about what others think of you, and you just can’t believe that I would ever be concerned about embarrassments, because, after all, you’ve never been embarrassed a day in your life…well, then you might just want to skip this blog today, because this message might not be what you’re looking for. However, for those who might fall into one of those other categories, ones of not really having a love for public humiliation, please feel free to read on… 🙂

Personally, I really don’t like embarrassments. I like to try and maintain a stoic attitude, one that is strong and capable of taking whatever life swings my way, but deep down, I’m a pretty sensitive creature. Now, don’t confuse that with “high maintenance.” I work hard to not throw my expectations, personal standards and sensitivities onto others, but I will blush at some of the silliest things, and I will tear up or ‘shrink back’ from the boldest of embarrassments. I’m just hardwired that way. I have quirks and particulars about my personality that I really try to get over; yet, I find myself “stumbling” over them from time to time. I have things about my body, my thinking and my abilities that I really wish could be different, better, or maybe at least, ‘the same’ as someone else I know. I really try to be comfortable in my own skin, and many times, I succeed. However, I am an incredibly introverted person, one who was raised around the “good old Southern Belle” mentalities, believing a lady should be first and foremost feminine and gentile, and on top of all this, I am an incredibly private person, not caring for the general public to “know all my business.” So, when my ‘business’ becomes public, I would just rather run and hide than to pick up my embarrassing trait, shake off my stubborn pride, smile and walk on by valiantly. I’d rather crawl under a log and disappear than to stand tall with humility and grace and endure the heat rising to my cheekbones and soaking my eyes with its truth.

It’s tough, sometimes, to keep your wits about you when you feel the spotlight of life glaring so brightly that you need shades just to see the road ahead, but if I’m to leave a legacy of truth and grace behind me, there are moments I must square my shoulders and smile the biggest smile of my life and walk right back up those stairs I just tumbled down. I must, daily, grow more comfortable in this skin God has given me and realize life isn’t perfect, I’m not perfect, and neither is anyone else I know, save One…and He is my ultimate goal! I must learn over and over again that it’s okay not to be like everyone else, and it’s okay to stand out from the crowd if the foundation upon which I stand is solid truth and the cause for which I fight is one of integrity and faith. This concept can be especially difficult to learn and to teach, when you have a teen or a young child in the house,  but we must remember the paths we set in place today are the footsteps they we follow tomorrow. How we react, when we get embarrassed, will determine the mood of the home, and it will set the stage for how they will respond when others see their flaws, how they will react to teasing and how they feel about themselves. What we live out before them speaks volumes of truth and character into their lives, or it screams at them to lie, to bully, to deceive and to shrink away from responsibilities and anything else that becomes difficult. Our words, our character and our actions are a living example from which they learn, grow and develop into a man or a woman.

If we can grow comfortable in our own skin, realizing God has created us to be us, as an individual, if we can handle mishaps with grace and generosity, we will teach our children how to stand strong in the midst of embarrassment, adversity and failure. If we can hold our tongue when we’d prefer to lash out in anger, or when we’d rather speak boldly with pride, proclaiming our rights, regardless of our failures, we will teach our children how to be humble in their confidence, solid in their self-esteem and gracious to those they encounter who may not admire or even like the way they act or speak.

We must set the stage for those coming behind us. We must blaze this path called life with integrity, honesty and character. We must be able to be comfortable enough in our own skin that we can be okay with who God has created us to be. We must be honest and humble enough with our own flaws that we recognize we may not be the best, but we’re a “work in progress,” and with God’s help, we can do anything in this life. We must carry enough integrity within and have enough character without to be able to graciously say to our opposers, “You and I may be different, and we may never agree on that subject, but we can agree to disagree and continue standing our ground. We can be different and go our separate ways.” We must become comfortable enough in our skin to say, “That sure was an embarrassment to me today, but it’s not the end of the world. I will survive, and you will to!” When we become comfortable in our own skin, honest about our own frailties and weaknesses and confident enough in who God created us to be, we will shine brightly for all those who follow behind in this world turned gray.

“For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.” Psalm 139:13-14