relationship

Sometimes You Just Have to Walk

/ The WheatandTares

Yeah, you heard me right. There are times in your life when the best thing you can do is walk. Walk away from the anger. Walk away from the pain. Walk away from the confusion and strife. Walk away from all the drama that one person is bringing into your life again. And again. And again.

Now, there’s a whole blog I can write on endurance and perseverance and determination not to quit when the going gets tough. In fact, I’ve written those, and this post doesn’t change that. I am, also by no means, giving you permission to walk out on your spouse, your kids or your job. Use some common sense, and don’t try to justify your own desire for freedom from the commitments you’ve made. 😉

However, there is something to be said about getting drama out of your life. Over the years, I have watched too many people simply stay put in the midst of drama that they were never meant to be. There are people in this world who live their lives from one crazy crisis to the next, and they live with the expectations that you should live it with them. No, you should not.

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If you are an adult, and you are surrounded by drama that someone else is creating, ask yourself, “WHY?” Why is the drama going on, and why do you feel you have to be a part of it? If it doesn’t concern you, why are you still there? If it does concern you, is it legit yours to own, or is it simply stupid drama drummed up by this other person?

Answer that “Why?” Do you need something from that person? Do you feel obligated to him or her? Do you feel an expectation to stay? (Again, why??) Do you gain some sort of self affirmation when you are in the midst of their drama? Do you simply need to feel needed?

Answer the “Why?,” and I promise you, you’ll realize you can walk away from this needless drama (or you’ll recognize your own fleshly desire for it). Drama causes strife. It causes unrest. It causes chaos and disorder. It can even cause health issues and sickness. It is not good. Walk away. Avoid it at all cost.

Sometimes, true love is shown by no longer being a crutch, an enabler or a punching bag for someone else who refuses to grow up and be somebody. Sometimes, you have to fight for who you are to become, and sometimes, that fight is walking away from needless drama in order to find and sustain the peace and clarity you need to live your life as it should be.

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The Pain Refines Me

/ The WheatandTares

Yeah, painful people bring a deeper character to my soul. Painful people are like sandpaper on my heart, and God uses them to polish out those rough, fleshly, selfish places I’d like to hide. Painful people should really be seen as a joy when encountered. For when they inflict the pain, it’s the perfect opportunity for our God to do three things: 1. Polish our soul a little more. 2. Fight our battle for us 3. Comfort our hearts in a way we’d not experience without the pain.

Yeah, painful people can be for our good and can bring out the best in us…if we’ll let them.

…now, if I can just remember this and embrace it the next time that pain comes along. Lol. 😉😂

What Do You Celebrate?

/ The WheatandTares / 2 Comments

At the beginning of this month, we celebrated the Fourth of July with some of our family, and the fireworks display at the end of the night was the perfect ending to a perfect day. It was absolutely beautiful!

We all celebrate things, people and happenings in our lives. We celebrate holidays, birthdays and new beginnings. We celebrate new babies, marriages, graduations and retirements, but I wonder how often we stop and actually ponder those celebrations. I wonder if we actually think about who and what we are celebrating. 

Do we see the person or just simply the event in their life? Do we recognize the growth in the graduate, or do we only see the loss of a child at home? Do we see the joy in the eyes of the new mom and her baby, or do we only see the birth? Do we see the wealth of wisdom in the retiree, or do we only see the age and tired body?

As I was going back through those pictures of the fireworks and reminiscing the day, I smiled as I thought of our family and the celebration. It wasn’t simply a day to celebrate a patriotic holiday and a few beautiful fireworks. We joined together to celebrate the strength of family, the joy of togetherness, and the gratefulness we have to live in this country of the free and the brave. 


Yeah, now THAT’S a celebration. 😉❤️🇺🇸

Who Are You Leaving Out?

/ The WheatandTares / 1 Comment

I read this story the other day, and it brought tears to my eyes… http://nicerdays.org/tb-newspaper-column-response/

Exclusion is so painful; yet, even more painful is watching someone so oblivious to the truth. My prayer is that I might always be aware of the truth and never be so blinded by my own “rightness.” It is so easy to become exclusive and not even realize the damage we are doing, the harm we are bringing, or the pain we are inflicting. We must always be giving ourselves ‘heart checks.’ We must always self-evaluate. If we ever get to the place where we believe we could “never be like the woman in this article,” or we believe our motives are always pure, and we could never intentionally exclude someone, that is when we run the risk of becoming the most dangerous person we could ever know. 

We all falter, and we all make mistakes. I just pray if and when I do fall, that God will help me to recognize the truth…the truth of my own wicked and deceitful heart. The key to success is to constantly question your motives and to surround yourself with truth speakers. People who can honestly give you wisdom, who can love you for who you are and who will never drink too much of your “koolaid,” but rather, will be the one who always challenges you to be a better person than who you are presently. 

I pray I always have a gracious friend who gently helps to open my eyes to see clearer…or a loving friend who gives me a good, strong and swift kick in the pants when I’m veering off the path of goodness and grace!😉

#realfriendsaretruthspeakers 

Friday’s Friends #17

/ The WheatandTares

Today is Friday, and this is the day I get to share a new blog with you. I always love this time, because there are so many wonderful blogs out there to be shared! These blogs have inspired me, encouraged me, or simply challenged me, and I hope for you, they’ll do the same. 😊

Joyouslyhopeful is a great blog where you’ll find encouragement and an incredible story of survival. She wrote Broken Pieces last year, and if I remember right, that’s how I found her blog. I love the picture in this post and the symbolism it gives. We are all broken pieces which make up His beautiful masterpiece. Her personal story is one of broken pieces becoming a magnificent masterpiece. 

I hope you will check out her blog today. Enjoy! 

Friday’s Friends #14

/ The WheatandTares


Friday’s are so fun here on the Grizzle Grist Mill, because it’s the time I get to share with you “a new friend” I’ve found in the blogosphere. This person has inspired me, encouraged me, challenged me or deeply impacted my life. My hope is you will explore their blog as well and be enlightened by their words, too. 

Today, I’d like to share with you a blog I found completely “by accident.” I had found a picture I wanted to use on another one of my blogs via google, and I was tracking don the “owner;” so, I could give him or her credit. I came across Inspiration From Words and just absolutely loved it! Devon is so inspiring, and she may be young to some; however, her words are full of wisdom and grace. 

I love this post about our plans for life. It is so very true! Check it out and be encouraged today. 😊

Friday’s Friends #13

/ The WheatandTares / 1 Comment


Today is Friday, and that means it’s time for Friday’s Friends! I love this part of the week when I get to highlight a wonderful blog I’ve found along life’s journey. 

Today, I’d like to point you in the direction of a Thoughtfulstroll. This blog is a delightful, helpful and peaceful place. She has encouraging, funny and beautiful posts. Her openness in the post Grace is simply refreshing and amazing. Even as I possibly disagree on a few minor points (that’s what makes us all unique😉), I am challenged by her honesty and ability to be vulnerable to the world about her struggles and findings in her faith. If more Christians could get this open and honest, I believe we could really make an impact on the world around us. 

I hope you will check it out. 

Live Now…There’s Nothing New

/ The WheatandTares / 1 Comment

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We toil, and we struggle to get the work done in a day. We hurry here and hurry there, scrambling to stack the hours into weeks and weeks into years. We are constantly busy with something new, something pressing, something important that must be done right now, in this moment. 

Then a crisis hits. A tragedy befalls our friends or our family, and it seems everything changes in an instant. We are then focused on that problem, that issue, that crisis which has taken center stage. 

Too often, the everyday life and the momentary crises can take over, and we forget to live in the moment. We neglect the importance of living in the here and now. We bypass any and all around us, like an ostrich, we have our head in the sand, seeking dutiful ways to bow out” gracefully” of the life and purpose we live.  

King Solomon reminds us that in Ecclesiastes that “there is nothing new under the sun.” (Ecclesiastes 1:9) There is no new emergency that hasn’t been before. There will be no new ‘created agenda’ which has never been thought of or tried. Everything we encounter, someone else has already experienced. In one way or another, someone has walked that journey of pain, sorrow, joy or apprehension that you are walking right now. It is only new to us and our lives.  
Sometimes, we have but one moment to make an impact on a life around us, and we miss it, because we allow the cares of this world to blind us. Sometimes, we are placed in strategic locations, a funeral home, a hospital hallway, an ICU waiting room, even a grocery store line, to reach someone right in the moment of their need. If we are not living that moment deliberately, we can miss it! 

Let us never be so caught up in the present crises, the present family issue or anything else, that we fail to remember why we are here. Let us never be so consumed by the present chaos of our lives that we can’t live in this present moment and reach someone else whose life needs His hope maybe even more than we do. 

The Salt Marshes or The River

/ The WheatandTares

I have a question for you…

Do you live in the salt marshes of Christianity or in the River of God’s glory?

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You can be a Christian and not experience the fullness of His glory. You can live a good, “saved” life, following His commandments, yet, never comprehend His overflowing joy and complete peace. You can go to church every Sunday, work the nurseries on Wednesdays, pledge your loyalties to every youth and world missions project and still miss out on all He has for you.

Although, I have to ask, “Why?” … Why would we ever want to live beneath His potential for our lives? Why would we ever be “okay” with second best or just comfortable with less than His best? Why would we ever settle for something He knows we don’t need or even detests?

Yet, so many of us do just that! We choose to live in the salt marches of Christianity, and we completely bypass the river of God’s glory. Sometimes, it’s fear that holds us back, or maybe it’s those past pains that blind us from the reality of His promises.

Often, it’s schedules and agendas which consume every moment and spin us out of control, shielding us from the clarity of truth. Too many times, it is the sin of our past, our present, or the contemplation of sin in our future, which binds us to the salt marshes and refuses to let us venture beyond what we’ve always seen, heard and thought to be truth.

It is time to break free. It is time to live in His fullness rather than the anemia of our fears and failures. It is time to move out, beyond the norm, and step into the river of His glory.

You will find He is waiting there just for you.

*Note: I do not own nor possess any part of this video. This is from a simple google search to YouTube.

Live For The Eternal

/ The WheatandTares / 4 Comments

As I visited with my ailing relative today, I was reminded again of how sweet heaven will be when we are all there together. There will be no more sickness and no more pain. Our loved ones will never die, and we will never worry about crises, heartaches, destruction or even the threats of such. We will say no more goodbyes, and the trivial things of this world will have all been lost.

If I had but one piece of advice to give, it would be this: No matter what you seek in this life, all things will eventually fade away, only those things which are eternal will remain. Never allow the temporary pleasures to blind you from the eternal treasures. Live for those who matter, and let all the rest simply fade with the time of life’s journey. Recognize and acknowledge your reality. Cherish the ins of value, and make sure you are both ready for the other side; so together, you might worship your King in eternity…