relationship

Healing Processes

/ The WheatandTares / 2 Comments

There is so much truth to this statement that it’s almost difficult to add anything to it.

Too often, we continually try to change people to fit what we need, or better yet, we work hard to “lead them” to a better place to accommodate who we are and who we are becoming.

But people are people.

You might can lead them well, and when that is feasible, by all means, carry on. But when it is someone who is bringing constant harm to you or to someone you love, be careful giving your time. Because you’re also giving your love, your thoughts, and eventually someone else’s flesh more than just your own.

When it’s toxicity, abuse, or dysfunction we’re talking about, step back and evaluate what you’re truly letting go of:

Peace of mind. Peace in your home.

Love in your heart. Love in your surroundings.

Sanity. Sanity in your loved ones.

If these things are given up for the sake of family, friendship , or other relationships, is it really worth it?

Sometimes, you have to hear what someone is saying, see what they are doing, and understand they are who they are. This is a a choice. And you f it doesn’t line up with the peace, love and sanity you need for your life and for those within your charge, then by all means,

Step away.

You both will be better for it.

As a dog returns to his own vomit,
So a fool repeats his folly.
Do you see a man wise in his own eyes?
There is more hope for a fool than for him.

Proverbs 26:11-12

What’s Your Angle?

/ The WheatandTares
How do you like that? Even little Judy there's got an angle going.
(This is a small video clip. Just click to hear sound.😉)

This little clip from White Christmas is so revealing for many of us. If you live your life a skeptic or a bit of an “investigator,” this phrase makes perfect sense, because you already search for the angle in every person you meet. If you live your life as an ostrich or a small child, you may not comprehend it because you don’t look past the simple words someone uses or you completely ignore innuendos as a self preservation technique.

Either approach you take in life, many times, we ourselves as well as others have an angle for what we say and do. We may be protecting ourselves from further pain, or we may be in attack mode and looking for every opportunity to fight. But we all approach life with an Angel or looking for someone else’s.

So, what do we do about that? Do we live out everyday angry, reading into, and often misreading the other person’s responses, continually in strife for every hour of the day? Or do we turn a blind eye to every whim and wind coming from the direction of a person and just ignore any possibility of malice, believing as if we live in a Pollyanna World where we are all innocent and nothing could ever be evil or vile?

I say NO to both these extremes. I say Get your trauma healed; so, you can live effectively in this world and go out and help another. I say Get your head out of the sand; grow up, and realize there is evil all around, but we get to choose to what we listen, to whom we interact, and to how we react.

If we live out lives by choices than we take responsibility, recognize failures and celebrate successes. Stop being a victim! And stop being an antagonist! There’s a better life out there for all of us!

There is wisdom in reading, gaining knowledge and asking good questions to help yourself heal. There is wisdom in gathering around ing good people who look out for you, defend you and protect you. There is wisdom in submitting yourself to a process of growth, to a challenge of change and to a hierarchy of those who will look at you and say, “You’re reacting with an angle. Stop it.”

So, get honest with YOU. Fo some deep soul searching today. Figure out your angle and why it’s there. And go get you some accountability to make yourself better than you are today.

Or not. And continue to live your life in the mud hole of brokenness, angst, confusion and failure.

It’s your choice. 😉

And if it seems evil to you to serve the Lord, choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods which your fathers served that were on the other side of the River, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you dwell. But as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.”

Joshua 24:15

Silly Saturday

/ The WheatandTares

Happy early Valentine’s Day! 🤣

Silly Saturday

/ The WheatandTares / 1 Comment

For all those getting ready for those holiday family gatherings that are maybe just a little dysfunctional… or a lot! 😳🤣

Silly Saturday

/ The WheatandTares

Ode to young people, electronics and Christmas. 🤦‍♀️🤣

What are You Seeking?

/ The WheatandTares

Some seek religions.

Some seek fortune and fame.

Some seek education and intellectualism.

Some seek philosophy and a higher power.

What are you seeking?

What you seek, you will find, when you seek it with all your heart.

What you seek, you will find, when you seek it with no bounds.

If it’s religion, you’ll find tradition and law.

If it’s fame and fortune, you’ll find self gratification and temporary pleasures.

If it’s academics, you’ll find knowledge and affluence.

If it’s philosophy, you’ll find a wisdom and deeper meanings.

Yet, in all of these things, you will still find an emptiness, a void, a vast domain within your soul that cannot be filled.

But if you’ll seek a relationship with the One who created it all,

You will be filled.

…that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith; that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the width and length and depth and height— to know the love of Christ which passes knowledge; that you may be filled with all the fullness of God.

Ephesians 3:17-19

Jesus answered and said to her, “Whoever drinks of this water will thirst again, but whoever drinks of the water that I shall give him will never thirst. But the water that I shall give him will become in him a fountain of water springing up into everlasting life.”

John 4:13-14

Silly Saturday

/ The WheatandTares / 2 Comments
Family dynamics for the holiday weekend? 🤣

Stay Calm

/ The WheatandTares

You see the memes everywhere:

Stay Calm … with some sort of ending.

Sometimes, it’s hard to stay calm when your heart is broken.

Sometimes, it’s hard to stay calm when you’ve been wronged.

Sometimes, it’s hard to stay calm when you’ve been silenced by injustice.

But sometimes, the only way to react with dignity is to react with a calm that doesn’t say I am weak.

But rather, it is a calm that says, no matter what it may look like right now,

I’m on the winning team, and victory is coming.

So, stay calm.

Because peace resides within.

And where there is peace, there is a brighter hope for tomorrow.

Now when these things begin to happen, lookup and lift up your heads, because yourredemption draws near.

Luke 21:28

The Greatest of These…

/ The WheatandTares

What principles define how you live?

Principles to live by… well, that can be a long list, I guess. But to sum it all up, I suppose the principle that all the rest would fall under would be a principle of love. Yet, if I start describing this in detail, it might look a little different than the societal demand for love these days.

In our current culture, there seems to be a demand to show love by accepting a certain opinion as truth. Or the demand might be that if I disagree with you, then, I’m not showing love but hatred.

Or if I’m not giving you what you want, then I’m not showing love. Or maybe if I’m not giving up something I want, or maybe I’m not suffering in a certain way, then I’m not showing the kind of love I’m supposed to be showing.

Pure, unadulterated love is sacrificial, gracious, and compassionate; yet, it is also full of truth, strength and courage.

True, unblemished love is is not one of these without the other. It is both.

If a parent loves his or her child but allows that child to run in the street to play while the truck is barreling down the path, is that really love?

If a spouse declares his love yet leaves and showers everyone else with his affections because he wants more, is that really love?

If a friend promises to share love and friendship yet breaks every confidence because she wants her liberty to share, is that really love?

If a child proclaims his love to his parents yet steals and destroys because he wants his freedom to live as he pleases, is that really love?

True love will rejoice in the truth, will bear all things, will believe all things, will hope all things, and will endure all things. Love never fails.

And love is impossible without abiding in the Only One who gave true love.

So, what principles define how I live? I guess I could begin with 1 Corinthians 13. I certainly don’t live it perfectly, but I strive toward it daily, only by seeking Him first.

Because He loved me first, now only can I begin to truly love.

Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I have become sounding brass or a clanging cymbal. And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, but have not love, it profits me nothing. Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails. … And now abide faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love.

1 Corinthians 13:1-8, 13

Take Courage

/ The WheatandTares

So many live out their lives in fear. Reacting to failure. Reacting to pain. Reacting to violence. Reacting to disastrous times.

No precept. No plans. No purpose.

Only reaction upon reaction to circumstance, feelings and desire.

Not enough live their lives by sheer courage. Having courage is choosing to be equipped. Choosing to be intentional. Choosing to be in the moment. Choosing to make the right choices regardless of common ground.

Know preparation. Know purpose. Know peace.

Choosing to respond or not to respond. Speak or not to speak. But always thinking. Always alert. Always deliberate of the choice.

That’s courage.

It’s not having all confidence or even all knowledge. It’s never about being the strongest or having the most.

Courage is the choice to do right and to be right no matter who stands against you. No matter who discourages. No matter who disagrees.

Have courage today. Be different. Make a difference.

And you can change the world.

Have I not commanded you? Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid, nor be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.

John 1:9

What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?

Romans 8:31