standards

Have you ever met someone who just rambles on and on, and it’s hard to even get a word in edgewise? I’m not talking about when you run into your “long lost friend,” and you’re both talking so fast, excited to share what’s happened over the years. I’m not referring to those times when your spouse and you are trying to iron out some differences, and I’m not even implying those moments when your teenager is allowing the deepest soul beats to overflow for your ears to hear.

I’m talking about the person to whom you go when you need the “latest and greatest news.” Come on, you know the one. Even when you shouldn’t listen, and even when you pretend you don’t, she has the most recent, “juiciest” word on the street, just dying to let you receive it! The string of gossip is so delicious, so “hot off the press,” she carries it to you like it’s a hot potato, and she can’t wait to release it from her flapping lips.

If you’re a living, breathing soul, and you’re an honest one at that, we can all attest we’ve been there. We’ve been caught in that moment between wanting to hear the herald and knowing we shouldn’t give it credence. So, we are faced with a dilemma. Do we receive it, even if it is only to appear gracious and kind, not wanting to hurt her feelings? Do we say, “We really shouldn’t be talking about this,” yet, continue to allow her jaws to chatter, or do we kindly (or rudely, if needed) tell her we will not lend our ears to this gossip, no matter how close to the truth it might be?

What do we do? What should we do?

If we are God-fearing, God-pleasing and desire to be seen as such, then we should choose the latter, no matter how hard it may be to speak, and no matter what “friendship” it may cost us. When you become a person known not only by the words you speak, but also, by the company you keep, you carry with you a reputation which speaks when you don’t have to. You become known as a person of integrity, trustworthiness and higher standards. When you close off gossip, not only from your own mouth, but also from those mouths that surround you, you close off needless chatter.

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People are drawn to those who are of a reputable stature. They will be intrigued by your silence rather than offended by your babble or the gibberish that surrounds you. People of integrity and trust will begin to want to hear what you have to say when you choose to speak. So, choose your words and your “atmosphere of words” wisely; then, you will become known as a person who speaks and doesn’t just chatter.

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We were eating b’fast at chic-fil-a one Saturday morning, and a young lady was walking out, crossing the street when JMan said something interesting…

“She looks just like you…well, except for the shorts. (She had on a pair of short-shorts.) Just to see what he would say, I asked him very inquisitively, “Why not the shorts, buddy?? You don’t think they’d look good on me?” When he looked at me in that moment, it might as well have been that I grew another head! I had such a hard time trying not to laugh. So, I kind of nudged him to say what he was thinking. He said, “Mom, did you see her shorts?? You don’t ever need to look like that! That would not be good! That would be so embarrassing if you did!!” I did laugh then, but it caused me to think…

Now, he’s only 9, and he is totally a boy (!), and we’ve taught him standards to live by; however, we don’t really talk to him about what I wear or don’t wear, and we haven’t really discussed too much about girls wearing short shorts, because he’s only nine. Yet, in that moment, I realized, once again, children see so much more than what we, sometimes, think they do.

That’s why it’s so important to live according to the standards we set for each of our homes. My standards may not be yours and yours may not be the next guy’s; however, if we wish our kids to follow in our footsteps, we must at least keep them consistent and solid. We must keep them authentic and real, because our kids not only hear what we say, but they see more of what we do and how we live. We must live lives full of character, integrity and authenticity. We set the standards for them to see and to follow.