Train Them Up

August 24, 2015August 24, 2015 / The WheatandTares / 2 Comments

Repost, with a little addition… 😉

The Bible says, “Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” Proverbs 22:6. As we strive daily to teach our children strong values and Godly principles, I often wonder how we’re doing. Dealing with the ever shifting cultural standards, the pressures from the outside that scream, “You’re too old fashion!” “You’re intolerant!” “You’re behind the times,” I am tempted, almost daily, to question my motives, intentions and purpose for setting these “rules,” these boundaries, these standards by which we live. Having a young teen in our home, one who is striving to find himself, to determine his own faith, ‘not that of mom and dad,’ and to become the man he so longs to be, it causes me, at times, to pause, to ponder, to almost take a poll to see if I’m doing right by him, if I’m teaching him these things for his own good … or for mine.

Good parenting doesn’t come easy. Good parenting isn’t a popularity contest. It isn’t a survey we take to see who approves and who doesn’t. Good parenting takes faithfulness to the One who created it. It takes a lot of love, mercy and grace. Good parenting takes tenacity to carry on, to uphold your standards and to stick to your convictions, even when you’re all alone and “nobody else is getting’ it” or doing it your way.

I definitely don’t believe I’ve “arrived” at “great parenting;” I’m not sure any parent every feels they’ve mastered this. However, through the years of observing so many, learning through the ups and downs, and seeking God’s Word, I believe I can share with you what good parenting looks like… The best kind of parent has the faith to remain a boundary while all others run away in fear of ridicule. The best kind of parent stands with courage in the face of rejection and loneliness. The best kind of parent has also learned when to say, “I’m sorry. I was wrong,” even when it hurts their own pride to do so. This parent loves beyond the failings, keeps believing beyond the mishaps and keeps cheering beyond the cold winds of adversity. This parent, also, knows when to push forward and when to pause and let them breathe. Lastly, the best kind of parent keeps loving when the door to their child’s heart has been slammed shut, and it appears he or she will never come back home.

Good parenting skills don’t come easy. It’s not a game in which you roll the dice and see if you hit the jackpot. No, good parenting takes faith. It takes determination. It takes a strong heart to love deep and remain true. It takes a strong mind to think the unthinkable, to plan for the unpredictable and to dream the unimaginable. It takes humility, love and grace for success to come, and, sometimes, that success may not be realized for almost a lifetime.

So, if I may charge you today: keep the faith, Mom. Hold up that standard, Dad. Remain true to the One who called you to this purpose. You can do this! You can survive! Those little hearts are counting on you. They need your love. They need your guidance. They need your boundaries that protect them from the evil outside. They need your standards that protect them from themselves. Keep fighting the good fight! You only have a few years to win this battle for the souls of the next generation. Don’t give up. Don’t give in, and never let them see you cower in fear. You were made for this. This is your destiny.

In this one thing, you can rest assured, is Word does not fail. is promises are true. You train that child to follow Him, they will know the way home. Yes, it will have to be their choosing; He will never force their hand. He will never demand their love, but He will be ever present, ever drawing them with His love that is unconditional, His love that never fails.

…These are the moments when my heart is reassured that we are on the right path… At a summer youth camp, I looked up and saw him immersed in worship…

His dream is to be a Christian Rapper…so, we work hard to help him realize his dreams even while he is still young…

At bedtime, we find him like this more often than not… (Many times, he’s fallen asleep reading his Action Bible.)

…Parents, be encouraged today. sometimes, it’s the it’s the little things that we fail to notice, and sometimes, those are the very things that matter!

Shadows

March 24, 2015March 22, 2015 / The WheatandTares

Have you ever been outside on a bright sunshiny day and all of a great big shadow covers you like a blanket? You look around to see what is causing the shadow in the middle of the day only to realize a great big cloud is passing overhead, and its shadow was being cast upon you. I want you to think about that image for a moment. Think of how that shadow makes you feel in that moment. Does it cast a bit of fear in your heart from the sudden darkness it brought? Does it bring a sense of coolness, giving you a break from the summer’s heat, or maybe it actually brought about a chill, because the temperatures were a little cooler on that fall afternoon…
Now imagine YOU are that shadow….What kind of shadow do you cast on others?” Is it anger, fear, rest, relief, or joy…
Let me give a few examples of the different shadows we can encounter from day to day…
Shadows can make some afraid…fear comes from the unknown and the concern for danger.
A little child is often scared at night because the shadows being cast upon his bed. He doesn’t know that it’s only the light from the hall casting the shadow on the wall. He imagines a “boogeyman” is sneaking by.
A young girl gets frightened as she walks down a deserted street at night as shadows seem to lurk around every corner. She has a concern for her safety and longs to be in the security of her own home.
To some, shadows can bring relief…relief from the blistering heat and the bright, overbearing sun in the middle of summer. That shadow will cool the brow and soothe the tension.
A farmer seeks refuge in the shade after a long, hard day’s work, taking a break to catch his breath before the evening’s done.
A child seeks solace from the overbearing sunshine on the heated shore. The shade brings comfort and relaxation; so, he might go run and play again.
Yet, to some, that same shade is further pain and bitter wind on a cold and dreary day. On a winter’s day like we had last week, the shadows only bring more misery and bitterness to an already blistering, below freezing day.
To the young, these same shadows can mean a time of playful figures dancing on the wind. These shadows can be translated into beautiful stories and testimonies of happy endings and even fantasies as the children make shadow boxes and hand motions creating animals, faces and even figures with the light and darkness.
So, you see, there are so many conclusions for shadows. Some good, some not so good. It all depends on how that given shadow causes a person to feel…
If you will notice in each of these scenarios that I’ve listed, it wasn’t the source of light that caused the differences of feelings within the person who received the shadow, and it wasn’t even the person, necessarily, as I mentioned, there were children and adults, alike, who responded with a good or bad feeling, but rather, it was the OBJECT through which the shadow was cast!
When we are in the light of the Son, we have the choice to be a “good” shadow or a “bad” shadow.
Your talk can cast your shadow of doubt as you spew negativity and gloom on an already dreary land. Or your talk can cast your shadow of faith as you speak of God’s goodness, His grace and His faithfulness.
Your actions can portray your hope in God above. Your smile can cast a shadow of relief on a weary soul. Or your actions can show your very doubt of His eternal abilities!
In these moments, when I see or hear believers casting “dark” shadows on other believers, I have to ask, “Where is the very hope to which we cling? HE is the Author and Finisher of our faith! We are conquerors through Christ who strengthens us! We can live victorious, in Jesus Name!” We must cast shadows of HOPE, of JOY, of LOVE, of LIFE!!
In the book of Genesis, Abraham cast a shadow of diligent obedience…in sacrifice, he was obedient…in directives (when told to “go”), he was obedient.
Throughout the Psalms and in the history of I & II Kings, King David cast a shadow of passionate worship…in victory, he worshiped passionately (ark of covenant brought home)…in sorrow, he passionately worshiped (death of child)…even after sin, in repentance, he passionately worshiped (Psalm 51)
Daniel cast a shadow of fervent prayer…when intimidated by Nebuchadnezzar, when threatened by the Kings’ court officials, and even when he was about to be devoured in the lions’ den, he fervently prayed.
The Apostle Paul cast a shadow of zealous and bold witness throughout his ministry in the NT…when faced with trials (before Caesar) and faced with imprisonment (in various places).
Even Peter cast a shadow when faced with others’ needs (remember, his shadow cast healed the sick?).
These are the ways that we should cast our shadows upon others. These men have given us examples of what kind of “shadows” to be…
I want to leave you the question with which I began, “What kind of shadow are you casting, or going to cast, for others to follow?”
Anxiety – Is it too tall, too big for them to ever feel success?
Fear – Are there too many expectations, too many demands, or is it only a fraction of what you have received?
Doubt – Is it too small, limiting their dreams to your abilities and only the things which you have achieved?
Anger – Is it full of strife and anger, grouchiness and negativity?
Insescurity – Is your shadow too limited by your own faults and failures that they cannot see Jesus within it?
Or is it a Shadow of….
Confidence – Or is it an inviting shadow, allowing them growth, maturity and wisdom to gain? Rest & Strength – Drawing them close to learn, to develop, to expand and add to their own thoughts and dreams?
Joy – Making them laugh at the face of danger, brandish their swords before the enemy, rejoicing for the days and dreams to come?
LIFE – A shadow that brings animation to their own as the two blend to become one that looks a whole lot like the Savior whom we serve?

Hebrews 12:1-3
Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.

If we are living a life that is knelt at the foot of the cross, and if we are daily turning toward the cross; then, our shadows will become that of the cross! When the cross is before us, in the LIGHT, which is the Son, we no long are seen, but the cross is seen!!
Let our shadows become the cross; then, all those who follow will only see JESUS!

Be YOU and Nobody Else!

February 17, 2015May 16, 2015 / The WheatandTares / 2 Comments

As I sat in a room full of women that night, I looked around and saw those with whom I’ve been friends for years, those whom I’ve known for only a short while, and those whom I had just met this very night. All different, yet, very much the same. We’re all in this world, struggling to survive.

I had watched a comical video on Facebook earlier in the day about different mom-types, and how we tend to compete over whose parenting methods are better and whose are just terrible; yet, when it comes to a possible danger being threatened in the life of a child, we will all pitch in to save that one child, no matter whose it is nor what we feel toward that one mother. I guess, this, coupled with my own beliefs, is why I was prepared when the conversation at the table turned toward parenting styles and opinions on how a child should be raised.

It actually was a very good conversation, and, thankfully, at this table, everyone was gracious in their answers to one another, ever how differing they were… There was one mom who had been, and still is, a full time bank employee. There was one stay-at-home mom who plans to completely homeschool when her three children become of age, another who is at home, with her toddler, right now but plans to return to college soon. One was a full time mom of a teen and elementary age boys, one was a young grandmother who works full time, yet, keeps her grandkids as much as she can. Another was a missionary’s wife who hopes to return to the missions field soon with her three year old and baby on the way, and another was a retired grandma who gets to see her grandchildren often but maybe not as much as she’d like. The rest of the 25-member group was just as diverse as this list.

Each one of them had different pregnancy stories, nursing methods and lengths of time, sleeping procedures (to sleep with parents or not), schooling options and stay home or work full-time choices. We all are as different as the day is to night; yet, we all agreed that there’s not a right and wrong method to raise and nurture your children. Those who adhere to The Word of God for their lives, yes, there are some right and wrongs that we must chose; however, when it comes to the other “surface” issues, we each agreed, “You must find what works best for your family! … What works beautifully for my family may bring total havoc to yours! … Always be open to advice, but never place unnecessary expectations upon yourself to live up to someone else’s methods and standards for your family.”

This is so very true! Never allow someone else to dominate your parenting landscape. Never place another family high on a pedestal and believe if you can only follow their formula to a “T,” then, your family will turn out perfect overnight, and you’ll never have worries again. No, life just doesn’t happen that way. Life is life, and people are people. There is no “magic formula” which makes babies stop crying, children to stop fighting and teens to always choose the right answers. No, this is a journey, and we all must travel it. Each of us are very different, made individually unique by the Master of the Universe. He made us each as diverse as the stars that shine above us.

So, follow your dreams. Dream for your family. Seek His ways, gain wisdom from others and learn what works best for your family. Train up those babies, and let them spread their wings and fly. You can do this! You were called to be… YOU!! You are beautifully and wonderfully made!

Train Them Up

November 24, 2014November 22, 2014 / The WheatandTares / 10 Comments

The Bible says, “Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” Proverbs 22:6. As we strive daily to teach our children strong values and Godly principles, I often wonder how we’re doing. Dealing with the ever shifting cultural standards, the pressures from the outside that scream, “You’re too old fashion!” “You’re intolerant!” “You’re behind the times,” I am tempted, almost daily, to question my motives, intentions and purpose for setting these “rules,” these boundaries, these standards by which we live. Having a young teen in our home, one who is striving to find himself, to determine his own faith, ‘not that of mom and dad,’ and to become the man he so longs to be, it causes me, at times, to pause, to ponder, to almost take a poll to see if I’m doing right by him, if I’m teaching him these things for his own good or for mine.
Good parenting doesn’t come easy. Good parenting isn’t a popularity contest. It isn’t a survey we take to see who approves and who doesn’t. Good parenting takes faithfulness to the One who created it. It takes a lot of love, mercy and grace. Good parenting takes tenacity to carry on, to uphold your standards and to stick to your convictions, even when you’re all alone and “nobody else is doing it!”
The best kind of parent has the faith to remain a boundary while all others run away in fear of ridicule. The best kind of parent stands with courage in the face of rejection and loneliness. The best kind of parent has also learned when to say, “I’m sorry. I was wrong,” even when it hurts their pride to do so. The best kind of parent loves beyond the failings, keeps believing beyond the mishaps and keeps cheering beyond the cold winds of adversity. The best kind of parent knows when to push forward and when to pause and let them breathe. Lastly, the best kind of parent keeps loving when the door to their child’s heart has been slammed shut, and it appears he/she will never come back home.
Good parenting skills don’t come easy. It’s not a game in which you roll the dice and see if you hit the jackpot. No, good parenting takes faith. It takes determination. It takes a strong heart to love deep and remain true. It takes a strong mind to think the unthinkable, to plan for the unpredictable and to dream the unimaginable. It takes humility, love and grace for success to come, and, sometimes, that success may not be realized for almost a lifetime.
In this one thing you can rest assured, His Word does not fail. His promises are true. You train that child to follow Him, they will know the way home. Yes, it will have to be their choosing; He will never force their hand. He will never demand their love, but He will be ever present, ever drawing them with His love that is unconditional, His love that never fails.
So, keep the faith, Mom. Hold up that standard, Dad. Remain true to the One who called you to this purpose. You can do this! You can survive! Those little hearts are counting on you. They need your love. They need your guidance. They need your boundaries that protect them from the evil outside. They need your standards that protect them from themselves. Keep the faith! You only have a few years to fight this battle for the souls of the next generation. Don’t give up. Don’t give in, and never let them see you cower in fear. You were made for this. This is your destiny. Win!

…These are the moments when my heart is reassured that we are on the right path…

His dream is to be a Christian Rapper…so, we work hard to help him realize his dreams even while he is still young…

At bedtime, we find him like this more often than not… (He’s fallen asleep reading his Action Bible.)

At a summer youth camp, I looked up and saw him immersed in worship…

On top of the mountain, he said, “Mom, take this picture. I want to post it to [social media] and talk about pondering things of life and faith…”

I told them I’d like to get a picture of them with the mountains behind…
(Note: I didn’t ask them to “huddle up,” but they did.)

…Parents, be encouraged today. Sometimes, it’s the little things that we fail to notice, and sometimes, those are the very things that matter the most! 🙂