wisdom

Friend or Foe

/ The WheatandTares

Sometimes, it’s just hard to deal with certain humans.

If we’re being honest, you know it’s true.

Yet, just as it’s important to walk away from toxicity and dangerous relationships, it’s also important to be able to discern those who might be in a bad mood and those who are truly damaging.

And this distinction can truly make or break a leader.

Come to the wrong conclusion, and you can damage a relationship, a ministry, a group of people, and even a home.

Assume a friend is a foe, and you lose a covenant and companion for life.

Suppose a foe is a friend, and you may walk away wounded and scarred, or worse, you can find yourself enclosed in a cage of emotion.

Presume inaccurately on either side, and you can wound the most innocent among you.

Judge incorrectly, and the grace needed to make amends can sometimes be insurmountable.

So, step carefully and evaluate slowly.

Learn to recognize warning signs and decipher welcome flags.

Acknowledge personal hangups and triggers and work harder to overcome.

Create an atmosphere of curiosity and courage and allow for input from the older, wiser sages near you.

Open your heart wide and your ears and eyes even wider.

And above all, if you believe in the One who created you, pray and ask Him to guide, not only in the final decision but to the people who can help lead you in that direction.

A friend can be hidden from immediate view because the search is always an adventure.

A foe can be veiled from initial sight because the desire for communion is always a heart’s home.

Friend or foe, learning the difference is essential.

Open rebuke is better
Than love carefully concealed.

Faithful are the wounds of a friend,
But the kisses of an enemy are deceitful.

Proverbs 27:5-6

Ointment and perfume delight the heart,
And the sweetness of a man’s friend gives delight by hearty counsel.

Proverbs 27:9

Allow for Some Goodbyes

/ The WheatandTares

Change brings adjustments in relationships.

Adjustments bring uncomfortable conflicts.

Conflicts bring choices to remain or walk away.

When you are seeking to better yourself, sometimes, it will irritate those who want to remain the same.

When you are moving beyond the trauma, sometimes, those who enjoyed the drama will want to stay.

When you are healing and pursuing something better, sometimes, those who liked you broken cannot handle the new strength.

And that’s ok.

Keep walking ahead.

Keep healing from the past.

Keep moving forward toward wellness, peace, and joy.

Those who are meant to go with you will arrive.

Those who aren’t will remain where you were.

And that’s ok.

To thrive, sometimes you have to say goodbye to the old you and also to the old them.

Not that I have already attained, or am already perfected; but I press on, that I may lay hold of that for which Christ Jesus has also laid hold of me. Brethren, I do not count myself to have apprehended; but one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead, I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.

Philippians 3:12-14

Distance From Stupid

/ The WheatandTares

Distancing yourself from stupid people requires fortitude and repetition.

I’d have to say distancing yourself from dramatic people is even more essential

For often, stupidity and drama seem to go hand in hand, and these seem to multiply when you’re not looking.

But if you’ll take a moment to assess your surrounding and evaluate your relationships, stupidity and dramatic response can be weeded out and set apart.

You just must decide if you want peace or attention and popularity.

If peace is your goal, then the distance is an easier trek than if your desire is to people please.

If peace is your ambition, you will embrace it with vigor and pursue it with passion.

And where peace abides, stupidity and drama are closed out by the gates of solitude and tranquility, and shadowed by an overwhelming shield of calm.

So truly, the decision lies within your making.

What do you seek?

Peace or chaos.

It’s yours to choose.

You will keep him in perfect peace,
Whose mind is stayed on You,
Because he trusts in You.

Isiah 26:3

Learn That Lesson

/ The WheatandTares / 2 Comments

Sometimes, walking away is the only thing that brings peace.

Sometimes, letting go is the only thing that will ease the pain.

Walking away isn’t always the easy road filled with presumed pride and celebration.

Letting go isn’t always the rebellious act of arrogance and annoyance.

Often, the turning away is the only way for healing to start.

If someone has walked out of your life, honestly assess your heart, and if no wrong can be found, then let them walk.

Sometimes, the walk is more for them than for you.

If someone has let go of you, take a soul check, and if you can truly find no fault, then let it rest.

Sometimes, the release for them will bring strength and reconciliation.

But if a speck on your heart is found, if a blemish within your soul is revealed, then cry your tears and talk to your Maker.

He’s the only One who can mend the wounds and bind what has been broken.

He’s the only One who can restore what had been forever lost.

Do not make friends with a hot-tempered person, do not associate with one easily angered, or you may learn their ways and get yourself ensnared.

Proverbs 22:24-25

Letting Go

/ The WheatandTares / 4 Comments

Well, I’ve been taking a bit of a hiatus from writing. I just peeked back at my past notes, and it’s been since December that I posted here. For my friends and followers, my apologies if you wondered where I’d gone or what I was up to. And to those who might not have noticed, that’s ok, too. I’ve just been over here living life in my little corner of the world.

I hope to get back to posting at least weekly, if not more, but I’m maybe not going to make a grand announcement this time of how much. It seems I don’t do a great job when I make the big ol’ declaration and keep up with it for a bit of time, and then, life happens, and I get distracted, or I simply don’t feel like I have anything “brilliant” or worthwhile to share. So I think this time, I’ll just begin small and see where it takes us…

LETTING GO

Sometimes, you’ve got to let go in order to hold onto the things that really matter.

Sometimes, you’ve got to release the pain to embrace the joy.

Sometimes, you’ve got to drop the anger like a hot rock to pick up the love that’s been there waiting for you.

It’s only when you walk away from what you’ve always known that you can finally see what is most important and valuable.

So, remove the chains that have bound you.

Be liberated from your shackles that confine you.

Set your souls free and let your spirit fly!

Stand fast therefore in the liberty by which Christ has made us free, and do not be entangled again with a yoke of bondage.

Galatians 5:1

You ran well. Who hindered you from obeying the truth?

Galatians 5:7

Messages From a Hope Filled Heart…

/ The WheatandTares / 2 Comments

Day 17

What brings you joy this holiday season?

Is it the gifts piled around the tree?

Is it the distant relatives who come to visit?

Maybe it’s the college kids or military spouses, sons, and daughters who return home for a welcome stay. Maybe it’s the cozy fireplace with Christmas carols in the background. Or maybe it’s the dreams of winter white wonderland coming true on Christmas morn.

For me, I love to have our college aged men home for a few extra days. They may be sleeping late and leaving a trail of items from the front door to their rooms, but I smile and sigh in contentment, knowing “all my little chicks are under one roof” again. They may be grown, but having them close brings the laughter and joy that fills the void when they’re gone away.

I adore watching the “little boy” excitement as they unwrap the presents on Christmas morning. We grab a cup of coffee, search for all the names and distribute well, to watch the smiles and wide-eyed anticipation of many confirmations from the well worn lists that were sent and a few pleasant surprises from under the tree.

I always look forward to the expectancies of Christmas movies, decorated cookies, and holiday baked goods that come this time of year. And I cherish the take-it-slow mode of intentionality we all seem to settle into, knowing the days grow shorter with every passing hour.

All of these wonderful moments bring my joy to overflowing as I bask in the strength and love of our family.

Yet, I do believe my very favorite thing that brings me joy is when we gather on Christmas morning, after all the presents are piled up and the wrapping paper is all tossed, and we read a little story from their childhood reminding us what’s so important about the day…

This is the sweetest little story of Jesus’ birth that we began reading way back when they were just little tykes. It has a wonderful surprise in the very last box to tell everyone what God truly wants for Christmas. And every year, even though they’re grown now, we read and remember Who’s the purpose for the season and what He would like for this beautiful day.

This is it.

This is what brings me such joy in the holidays.

And I hope you find can Him, too…

Then the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid, for behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy which will be to all people. For there is born to you this day in the city of David a Savior, who is Christ the Lord. And this will be the sign to you: You will find a Babe wrapped in swaddling cloths, lying in a manger.”

Luke 2:10-12

Then Jesus spoke to them again, saying, “I am the light of the world. He who follows Me shall not walk in darkness, but have the light of life.”

John 8:12

Messages From a Hope Filled Heart…

/ The WheatandTares / 5 Comments

Day 16

Sending Christmas cards seems to be a dying art, much like writing in cursive and sending a handwritten thank you. Call me “old school,” but I can’t seem to bring myself to stop the tradition. The format may change; maybe it’s a “family letter” one year, and maybe it’s a photo card the next, but it’s still a little note to those we love and care about to tell them we’re thinking of them. And maybe the cost of stamps and cards goes up, and maybe it’s not feasible for everyone to do the same. And that’s certainly okay, too.


But for this season that can get so chaotic and the meaning become lost in the gifts, wrapping, and extra parties, let us all take a moment to send out our love. Let us take a second to tell someone we’re thinking of them. Let us step back from our busy agendas and take a moment to reach out to someone, particularly those bereaved, broken, or alone, to tell them we still care.

Care doesn’t have to be displayed in lights and glitter. Kindness doesn’t have to be portrayed in extravagance or expense. Sometimes, it’s a hug, a smile, a gentle touch.


Our words matter. Our presence matters. And our thoughtfulness means even more. During this season, may we be the Body of Christ He’s called us to be. ❤️


Ps. Notice came: my cards are late…wouldn’t you know it? 🤦‍♀️🙄😂

She opens her mouth with wisdom,
And on her tongue is the law of kindness.

Proverbs 31:26

He who speaks truth declares righteousness, but a false witness, deceit.
There is one who speaks like the piercings of a sword, but the tongue of the wise promotes health. The truthful lip shall be established forever, but a lying tongue is but for a moment.

Proverbs 12:17-19

Messages From A Hope Filled Heart…

/ The WheatandTares / 2 Comments

Day 15

Finally got the ornaments on the tree (not pictured). Every piece is a memory, a moment, a milestone, a memento of a time passed, a person gone home, or the little lives we’ve raised who are now grown. This year, it took me longer to want to put them on the tree. Felt a little too melancholy everytime I thought about it, and I just waited till the day felt right. So, today rolling into the second week of December, I decided there’s no better time than the present.
Put on some Christmas tunes and got to work. Now sitting here by the fire before I go to sleep, Bing Crosby is singing, I’ll Be Home For Christmas,” and it lends my thoughts to all the soldiers who are all over the world, away from their loved ones and their homes. I think of those in the war-torn areas, wondering if they’ll ever see home again. And I think of so many who have already had to say goodbye to family, friend, or foe and will never take another breath.
My heart is thankful for the goodness of my God. I am grateful for His grace, His love, and His peace. And I’m praying for all to come to know Him, to find healing, to find hope, and to find the eternal joy and peace that only He can bring. ❤️
…Share the good news with someone this Christmas season. You never know what a difference it might make…

Then Jesus spoke to them again, saying, “I am the light of the world. He who follows Me shall not walk in darkness, but have the light of life.”

John 8:12

You are the light of the world. A city that is set on a hill cannot be hidden. Nor do theylight a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a lampstand, and it gives light to all who are in the house. Let your light so shine before men,that they may see your good works and glorify your Father in heaven.

Matthew 5:14-16

Messages From a Hope Filled Heart…

/ The WheatandTares / 2 Comments

Day 14

Becoming Me

Sometimes, we step into the dark; so, we can find our way into the light. It’s not that the dark was where we wanted to be; yet, because of the dark, the light was easier to see. And the light was more welcoming when we saw that we were surrounded by the dark.

When we’ve emerged from the dark, often we find a new person has come forth as well. The old is gone; sometimes, never to be seen again. And a new awareness, a fresh vision, and a whole different perspective has been born.

Not because we planned it this way, but when you’ve gone into the deep and survived, it changes you. You discover who you really are and who you are not.

And you realize who He is, and how much He loves you. You acknowledge how much you need Him and how with Him, you’ll never again be alone.

Let your conduct be without covetousness; be content with such things as you have. For He Himself has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.”

Hebrews 13:5

But you are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, His own special people, that you may proclaim the praises of Him who called you out of darkness into His marvelous light; who once were not a people but are now the people of God, who had not obtained mercy but now have obtained mercy.

1 Peter 2:9-10

Messages From a Hope Filled Heart…

/ The WheatandTares

Day 13

Be Like Sam.

Maybe the holidays bring undue stress and anxiety to your heart.

Maybe Thanksgiving doesn’t feel like much of a thankful time but rather a time filled with angry words and heartless deeds.

Maybe Thanksgiving is more of a forgotten time of year, just as you feel neglected, alone, and wearisome.

I challenge you to look up.

Look up beyond the turmoil and strife.

Look up beyond the discouragement of your heart.

Step into the great outdoors and breathe in the beauty. Stand beside a waterfall until the rushing roar is all you hear. Sit on the seashore with the wind against your skin until the sun’s warmth is all you feel and the salt air is all you taste.

There will be troublesome times and even worse, troubled people along your path.

But don’t let these stop you from your purpose and your destiny.

Strive to see more. Strive to be more.

And never give up.

It might be a shire that is your end, but with the right choice, an eternal eternity can be, and that is greater than you could ever imagine.

For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon Me and go and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart. I will be found by you, says the Lord, and I will bring you back from your captivity; I will gather you from all the nations and from all the places where I have driven you, says the Lord, and I will bring you to the place from which I cause you to be carried away captive.

Jeremiah 29:11-14

For our citizenship is in heaven, from which we also eagerly wait for the Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ, who will transform our lowly body that it may be conformed to His glorious body, according to the working by which He is able even to subdue all things to Himself.

Philippians 3:20-21