wisdom

Do you chatter or Do You Speak?

/ The WheatandTares / 2 Comments

Have you ever met someone who just rambles on and on, and it’s hard to even get a word in edgewise? I’m not talking about when you run into your “long lost friend,” and you’re both talking so fast, excited to share what’s happened over the years. I’m not referring to those times when your spouse and you are trying to iron out some differences, and I’m not even implying those moments when your teenager is allowing the deepest soul beats to overflow for your ears to hear. 

I’m talking about the person to whom you go when you need the “latest and greatest news.” Come on, you know the one. Even when you shouldn’t listen, and even when you pretend you don’t, she has the most recent, “juiciest” word on the street, just dying to let you receive it! The string of gossip is so delicious, so “hot off the press,” she carries it to you like it’s a hot potato, and she can’t wait to release it from her flapping lips. 

If you’re a living, breathing soul, and you’re an honest one at that, we can all attest we’ve been there. We’ve been caught in that moment between wanting to hear the herald and knowing we shouldn’t give it credence. So, we are faced with a dilemma. Do we receive it, even if it is only to appear gracious and kind, not wanting to hurt her feelings? Do we say, “We really shouldn’t be talking about this,” yet, continue to allow her jaws to chatter, or do we kindly (or rudely, if needed) tell her we will not lend our ears to this gossip, no matter how close to the truth it might be? 

What do we do? What should we do?

If we are God-fearing, God-pleasing and desire to be seen as such, then we should choose the latter, no matter how hard it may be to speak, and no matter what “friendship” it may cost us. When you become a person known not only by the words you speak, but also, by the company you keep, you carry with you a reputation which speaks when you don’t have to. You become known as a person of integrity, trustworthiness and higher standards. When you close off gossip, not only from your own mouth, but also from those mouths that surround you, you close off needless chatter. 

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People are drawn to those who are of a reputable stature. They will be intrigued by your silence rather than offended by your babble or the gibberish that surrounds you. People of integrity and trust will begin to want to hear what you have to say when you choose to speak. So, choose your words and your “atmosphere of words” wisely; then, you will become known as a person who speaks and doesn’t just chatter. 

pegitboard.com

Love Me Challenge #16

/ The WheatandTares

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Something I like about myself is, also, something I dislike at times. I am a very soft spoken person, and someone who works overtime to not impose upon other people. Generally, I keep my thoughts to myself, and I’d prefer to speak when spoken to rather than speak out of turn. 

For those of you who struggle with your extroverted personalities might think you would love to have this personality trait; however, for those of us “blessed with such a skill” might have quite a difference of opinion. However, this post today is about what I like about me; so, what I like about it…

Walking into a crowded room, I can slip in almost unnoticed, find a friend and smile before everyone realizes how lonely I might be feeling that day. When someone hurts my feelings or makes me mad, I can hold my tongue until I’m over it, and I don’t have to worry about saying something stupid I might regret. When there is someone else hurting or alone, I can come beside them and help them carry the load, ever aware of the possibility of pushing too hard or staying too long. When a friend is in need of someone, but doesn’t need noise and fanfare, I can sit for hours just enjoying the company and offering a helping hand. When my children are acting like hooligans, I can calmly walk up to them, whisper their tiny thread of existence between joy and utter sorrow and walk away… well, no, that’s not quite the truth. I’m sorry, I don’t have that much patience or soft spoken qualities.šŸ˜‚ 

As with any strength, there are equal traits that will make it a weakness when I let it. There were years when I hated this quality about myself, and honestly, there are plenty of days when I still struggle with this love/hate relationship I have built. However, as I am growing older, I am accepting the fact that God made me this way for a specific reason, and I am learning to grow with it, relish in it and explore beyond it. 

If for no other reason, I am finding more and more that one of the greatest reasons He created me in this way is because He decided to place me in a home with three very strong, outspoken, outgoing men. I bring a great balance to all the activity and noise, and He knew that I, for one, would need it! šŸ˜‰šŸ’—

Love Me Challenge #8

/ The WheatandTares

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To share a scar today, I am going to share a bit of poetry…

This scar will be with me for life. As a child, I hated this mark upon my skin. I thought of it Ā as a deformity, a nuisance and an intrusion to what and whom I believed I could have been without it. Now that I am older, even as the skin tucks and pulls at the place of injury, I find myself thanking my God for saving my life on that dreadful night.

I should not have survived…but God. ā¤

 

 

Choosing to Drive

/ The WheatandTares

 

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autoblog.com

In driving school, you must choose to hit the brake or accelerator depending on where you need to go and how fast you need to get there. You hit the brake to avoid mishaps, accidents, or when you are feeling unsure, and you need to create a little space and time to think and consider your next move. You hit the accelerator when you want to get somewhere a little faster or when you are feeling more confident in your position and the vehicle which you are driving.

 

In our relationship with God, we have these same choices. When He gives direction, we can push the accelerator and “ride like the wind,” totally depending on His leading. We can hit the brakes, believing we know better or just allowing our fears and doubts to override. When God says, “It’s not time,” we have the choice to hit the gas or slam the brakes, choosing to allow Him to guide or our own wisdom to rule the day.

In every moment and at every command, we have a choice to remain in the car behind the wheel, with God as our guide, or to get out of the car and leave the path when times get too tough. It is all in our choosing, butĀ if we will stay closer to His hand and listen more closely to His voiceĀ our choices can render better results. If we will seek His understanding rather than our own, our end destination will be less hazardous and more beneficial.

So, ask yourself today, “Who will be my guide? … To whom will I listen and obey? … To whom will I surrender my will and my way?”

The choice is yours…

http://www.xarisxpressions.org/let-the-lord-determine-your-path/proverbs-169/
pinterest

 

 

Need A Little Stretching?

/ The WheatandTares / 1 Comment

Have you ever watched a taffy puller in a candy shop? Or a bread baker kneading the dough? Or maybe a potter molding and shaping the clay at the wheel?

  

None of this happens in an instant. No, not one of these processes happens without a lot of pushing, pulling, poking, and stretching beyond the original state. All of it, friction of some kind, to bring forth a beautiful masterpiece.

Do you know each one of us were created by the greatest Creator of All as a masterpiece? He has designed each and every one of us to be exactly what He desires.

Sometimes, life is going to feel like a huge taffy puller, drawing out the impurities, extracting what doesn’t need to be.  I don’t know about you, but there are times in my life when it feels EXACTLY like this!! I think, “Wow! I don’t know how much more pulling and stretching I can take!” Yet, when I allow Him to, God, in His infinite wisdom, keeps going deeper and deeper to remove those things which shouldn’t be, those fleshly things that get in the way of who He’s called me to be.

He wants all of me, all of us; so, we can hear with definition, see with clarification and speak and act with precision. He keeps stretching and refining; so, we might become a beautiful masterpiece that isn’t just a pretty piece to sit on a shelf, but one He can use against the enemies of His kingdom! Just like taffy or fresh, homemade bread or even beautiful pottery, it takes a process, and it takes perseverance, patience and a purpose-driven obedience to allow Him to finish what He has started.

Esther went through 12 months of preparation to see the king. David waited over 20 years to become king over Israel. Joseph went through 13 years of trials before he became the second in command to Pharaoh. Jesus waited 33 years of His life to fulfill His destiny here on this earth. When we start to get frustrated in the waiting and overwhelmed in the stretching, let us step back and be thankful for the preparation. God is always at work. The friction we feel is simply the formation of His perfect masterpiece!

To Be More Like Him

/ The WheatandTares / 3 Comments

I read a post the other day of a lady who was in a store parking lot and witnessed a young mom place her two young children (both under the age of five) in the car, roll down the widows just a bit, lock the vehicle and return to the store for a five minute span of time. The person posting simply stood a ways off, watching over the vehicle, until the mother returned. 

There were various comments following, many on either side of choosing right or wrong for this situation. On the one side, the comments ranged from how terrible that mother was, how she should have been reported, and how dangerous the situation was for those children. The opposite side stated how the mother was obviously going through a tough time, how she must be a single parent doing her best, and how judgmental those persons must be who were against her.

This scenario and posts got me to thinking, and it caused me to realize one thing: we are all human, and we all have incredible opinions for each scenario we encounter. Each one of us looks at things from different perspectives, and that’s the way God made us. We all enter the viewpoint of a situation from our own judgmental advantage.

Who’s to say what that young lady was going through? Who’s to say she is or isn’t a hard-working single mom or a selfish, neglective parent? We don’t know her, and we don’t know her situation; so, all we do is assume onto her situation what we want and proceed to get mad at someone else, because they don’t agree with our “right” (or self-righteous) opinion.

As Christians, why don’t we look to Jesus and pray for this young mom and her kids? We don’t know what she’s going through, AND we don’t know what those kids are going through. We have no idea if she needs a ‘bucket full of grace’ or a good ‘kick in the bucket.’ Truth is, it’s not really our judgement call to make on either side.

Truth is, she probably needs a helping hand (or a guardian to watch over her littles), a good talking to AND a lot of love, but it shouldn’t be up to us to decide which of those is more important. What is up to us is to look at the situation with wisdom and grace. Wisdom would say, “Report that incident; so, it doesn’t happen again.” Grace would say, “Love her and give her a second chance that she may not deserve.” 

Too often, we are too quick to assume into a situation our own opinions and conclusions that, sometimes, have no bearings on the truth of the matter. Look at the various moments in Scripture when Jesus had confrontations with people: the woman at the well, the Pharisees, the adulterous woman, the rich young ruler, Blind Bartemaus… When Jesus reached to those in need, He gave truth AND love. He responded differently and the same to each one. He never used their situation, nor their pain, as an enablement for sin nor an excuse for self-righteousness. He confronted the sin, gave grace for repentance and hope for change. He’s called us to follow in His footsteps. That’s our job: to be more like Him. šŸ˜‰

My prayer is to be more like Him each and every day. Sometimes, I feel as if I do pretty good, and other days, I wonder if I will ever get it right! However, the goal is all about Him, and if we can keep Him at the forefront, we will be able to reach more than if we simply rely on our own opinions and perspectives as our guide. šŸ’•

Not Equipped

/ The WheatandTares / 2 Comments

A couple of years ago, we had a truck that had off road suspension, but it did not have four-wheel drive. However, we found ourselves going straight up the side of a mountain in this truck…or at least we attempted to. My husband tried to get the truck to cooperate. The front tires went up, but the back tired started spinning in the mud, and we started sliding backwards. He tried once more, and more sliding occurred. All the while, I am holding my breath, because I can visually see, in my mind, the whole truck getting completely vertical and then flipping straight over, with all four of us in tow! He tried once more with the same results; so, he allowed the truck to roll backwards, and we didn’t go up that hill, because our truck simply wasn’t equipped to do so…

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I think, sometimes in our Christian walk, we can find ourselves in this same predicament. We are attempting to go up and over a mountain that we, in our human strength, are just not equipped to travel. We try, and we try, and we keep ending up with the same results: sliding backwards or, if we push it too far, flipping over into a ditch! We are not equipped to travel some mountains, because God hasn’tĀ yet preparedĀ us, we’re attempting to go over the wrong mountain, or we are simply attempting it without His help!

There are many things in our faith that God has to prepare us, strengthen us and teach us before we are ready to face it. When we get ahead of Him, we end up making a mess of things, and often, we walk away from the trial, bruised and wounded when we didn’t have to be. Waiting on God for our preparation only undergirds our cause. If you’re in the middle of a process, but you long to jump ahead, can I encourage you today? Just wait on Him. He will bring you to that mountain at His proper time, and when you follow His lead, He will give you the exact tools you need to conquer it!

Sometimes, we are trying to climb a mountain that God never called us to climb. It might be someone else’s mountain. It might be a “mountain” in our past that we keep trying to hold on to, but He has already forgive and told us to move beyond. It might be a mountain that we want to climb over, but it’s not the direction in which He is leading us. If we will listen to and follow His voice, rather than our own, we will have plenty of mountains to trek upon without challenging ourselves with the ones at which we’re not suppose to be!

Other times, we have simply attempted toĀ scaleĀ a mountain without His help. Just as my truck didn’t have four-wheel drive, there are times in our lives, when we try to accomplish things in our own strength, and we leave Him behind. Then, we find ourselves worn out and burn out, wondering where God is and why isn’t He helping us through this.

If we are to climb the mountains that we will surely face in this life, we must be prepared, we must ascend the right ones, and we must have His assistance and lead to conquer them! With God by our side, there is nothing we can’t accomplish, and oh, the view (and rest) we will receive once we reach the top!

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Your Words

/ The WheatandTares / 7 Comments

 

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kellyarcidiacono.com

Your words matter. Your words count. What you say can wound or heal those around you. Choose your words wisely.

Years ago, our nine year old son came home from school sad. He felt like he had a bad day. Now, this child has always been more sensitive to those around him, to his environment, words said and actions done.Ā He’s my rough-and-tumble, tenderhearted boy. He likes things to be peaceful and stable, fun and joyful, and this day hadn’t been quite like any of that.

He told me about his teacherĀ snapping at him, how kids had laughed at him, and how the lunch lady had harassed him. As the story played out, IĀ realized the teacher had “jokingly snapped” at him when he told the other kids to be quiet in line, causing the kids to chuckle around him, and the lunch lady had “jokingly harassed” him when he spilled a little of his spaghetti from his plate, saying, “Your mom needs to teach you how to do this.”

Now, to you and me, as adults and people who have experienced pain, criticism and strife, what he went through may not be that big of a deal. I could tell, by the information he had given, that his teacher hadn’t meant to hurt his feelings; she probably didn’t even think twice about it. There was no part of bullying or harrassment meant in her statement.

Don’t we all do that from time to time? We will quip our answers “short and sweet” to those around us, never assuming that it might impact them differently than we intended. Yet, the sharp remarks he received from those two adults at lunchtime, combined with the snickering of children around him, had cast a cloud on his usual joyful demeanor and caused him to feel like his whole day was just horrible.

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mybible.com

As he grows, he will learn how to handle jokes, sarcasm and harassment. His tender heart may not always remain as tender, but I can assure you, this day reminded me that we should all be more cautious with, not only what we say, but also the attitude and tone in which we say it. There are times for sharpness, and thereĀ are definitelyĀ times for rebuke.

Don’t mistake my comments here to be an agreement with the recent cultural push for a kinder, meeker society where we can give no rebuttal to anyone without a cry against “tolerance.” When there is evil and wrongdoings present, it angers me to hear thoseĀ trying to settle down a conflict when the only persons they’re trying to calm down is the very one confronting the sin or wrong being done! It seems this nation is working hard to excuse certain beliefs, actions or opposing viewpoints simply because they’re “new and culturally accepted.” These actions and attitudes are not what I’m talking about here.

I am referring to the wordsĀ we use with those closest to us and the tones and attitudes we portray behind these words. It is so easy to be in the middle of having a bad day,Ā be approached by a child and respond to them by snapping their little head off. It’s soĀ common to be stressed out, right at the time of a deadline and just “blow a gasket,” simply, because your spouse asked where a clean pair of socks are. It’s such a ‘knee-jerk reaction” to be worried and concerned over a situation and respond to your ‘aggravating’ teen in an overemotional manner instead of stopping to realize they weren’t trying to get on your nerves; they’re just being a teenager. I know. I’ve been there, and I wonder if you have been, too…

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deebrestin.com

The heart of a child, a teen, and even our spouse are at stake when we allow our emotions to rule over our words and actions. We should not only have the mind of Christ, but we must have His mouth as well! Let our words always be tempered by His grace, love and Truth.

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kingjamesbibleonline.org

 

Fill It Up!

/ The WheatandTares / 1 Comment

There is an old hymn that goes something like this…

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voiceofoc.org

 

Fill my cup, Lord;
I lift it up Lord;
Come and quench this thirsting of my soul.
Bread of Heaven, feed me till I want no more.
Fill my cup, fill it up and make me whole.Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā  –Ā  Richard Blanchard

 

If we expect to be able to reach out and help others, to pour out to others, we must continually be filled up by Him. If we’re running on empty, it’s going to show in our attitudes, in our words and even in our thoughts, which, eventually,Ā always work their way into our words. This is why so many Christians find themselves worn out and burnout in “doing the work for the Lord. This is, also, why so many non-Christians find themselves walking away from grouchy, don’t-want-to-smile-at-you-but-I’ll-give-you-food church goers.

This isn’t to validate those naysayers who just want to fuss about “Christians-hypocrites who don’t share the love of Christ,” because, from where I stand, there are way too many good men and women who love Jesus to even give credence to that kind of nonsense. However, I have found that well meaning Christians can get to the point of burnout and bad attitudes when they aren’t getting filled back up when they’ve given time to a ministry.

We have to work from the overflow. You see, we areĀ likeĀ a conduit through which the Lord flows, and when we stop getting filled, it’s as if we shut off His flow and try to continue on our own. Our strength is only so strong. Our faith is only so faithful. Our diligence is only so diligent, and that is because we are only human. We are not God. From God, allĀ blessings flow. In God is foundĀ all the love, mercy, hope,Ā joy, and everything the world is looking for. Through God, we have all the strength, faithfulness, and dedication we could ever need.

When we allow Him to pour into us and through us, all this world needs comes gushing out. Let Him fill your cup to overflowing today; so, it might “gush all over” those around you and to whom you minister.

 

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marlonikkila.com

 

What’s Your Talk When They Walk?

/ The WheatandTares / 2 Comments

You can’t change someone else, their brand of crazy, their attitude, or even their perspective or opinions. They are who they are, and you are who you are. Only God does the changing when we yield to His hand. Expecting change and then getting angry when it doesn’t happen is simply a recipe for disaster and misery.

 

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reinhold niebuhr

 

Yet, we all do it, don’t we? If you’re in leadership, I can almost guarantee you do this, unless, you’ve mastered the art of waiting patiently for God to “do His thing.” It’s tough to work alongside someone day in and day out, see their flaws, be convinced of what they need to change, suggest needed change, and then fail to see any successful change, isn’t it? Honestly, it can be downright aggravating, frustrating, really! Although, it can beĀ quite a challenge to pour into someone all that you have within and still watch them walk away, we must remember Christ went through this very thing.

Jesus spent hours, days, weeks and even years with Judas Iscariot. Judas stayed with him, ate meals with him, visited the sick with him and even watched him heal and deliver the bound. Yet, in the end, Judas still chose to betray Him and walk away. He chose to walk away from Jesus’ love, forgiveness and promise of hope.

Jesus, also, spent the same amount of time, and more, with Peter. Peter stayed close by His side. He was one of the three who went to the Garden of Gethsemane with Christ. Yet, when it came to down to the heat of the moment after Christ’s arrest, Peter denied even knowing the very man who had saved him. Thankfully, there was a moment of clarity later on for Peter, and he returned to Christ.

Let us never believe we are better than our Master, our Lord and Savior. If He had people walk away, we will, too. It’s how we handle these moments that will determine our success or failure in leadership. Do we let them walk away without a word, or do we confront? Do we confront with love or cruelty and hatred? Do we pray for them after they leave, or do we simply bash and gossip about the wrong choices they obviously have made?

 

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quoteaddicts.com

 

Let us always trust God is still in control even in the midst of our disappointments. Let us always turn to Him in the middle of our hurt and anger over someone walking away, and let us always follow in His footsteps of loving confrontation followed by prayerful concern for that one who left.

We never know who might be spurring us toward our destinyĀ or who will, eventually, come back to join us in the journey.