woman

Through The Years

/ The WheatandTares / 9 Comments

 
   This week, my husband and I are celebrating 20 years together. We actually dated for 3 1/2 years before we married; so, I could say, we’re actually celebrating 23 1/2 years of being together and 20 years of marriage. I can now say, I’ve been with him over half of my life!
IMG_0852(Look at those two youngins! Who in the world is that anyway?! Oh. My. Goodness!! lol.)

I can honestly tell you, I love him more today than the first day I met him and even more than the day I married him! Some people could scoff at that statement, and some might wonder how that could possibly be true; so, as a way of celebrating today, I’d like to tell you a few things I’ve learned along the way and a little bit of how this can become true for you…

*This is, by NO means, a complete list, nor is it a perfect list. There are so many more things for me to learn, and I shall until the day I die…

#1 – If you want your marriage to last, you must first love God before you love your spouse. I don’t love my husband, because I am, somehow, a strong person, or because I’m “just that good.” I love my husband, because I love God first, and He makes up the difference for my humanness.

#2 – A great marriage takes a thousand little miracles to make it work right. (Thus, another reason, you need to love God first! 😉 )

#3 – You’ve got to give a lot and take a little to make a great marriage. It takes both of you giving, learning and growing together.

#4 – A great marriage consists of two people who never gave up on each other, no matter how hard it gets at times.

#5 – A great marriage consists of a sacred and hot marriage bed. Ok, yeah, there ya go. I said it. It’s hard for me to publicly talk a lot about this, cuz I don’t believe everyone needs to know my business; however, if you’re going to have a great marriage, this has got to be true, and No, it’s not “all about sex” either. If you’re on either extreme of that spectrum, you’re gonna have troubles. 

#6 – If you want your marriage to last, you’ve got to date each other. Life can just run over you until all you see is bills, children, school, work and more bills. You’ve got to remember how and why you got in this thing to begin with. Flirt, go out, have fun and remember the man/woman you fell in love with!

#7 – A great marriage takes a lot of grace and forgiveness even when you don’t want to.

#8 – Your spouse must come before your kids, your job and your family (parents, etc.) If you are always putting other things above the needs of your spouse, don’t be surprised when she/he does the same, and then, one day, you both ask yourself, “Why am I married to this person I no longer know?”

#9 – A great marriage consists of trust, honesty and loyalty. If you don’t trust your spouse, how can they ever have the freedom to be honest with you? If you aren’t honest with him/her, how can he/she want to be loyal to you? The three work together like a well oiled machine, or they work against each other for a broken down mess.

#10 – A great marriage consists of authenticity and vulnerablility. You’ve got to be authentic with each other. Why would you play games with the one you love? You’ve, also, got to be able to be vulnerable with each other. Why would you want to be with someone with whom you can’t share your whole heart?

#11 – If you want your marriage to last, there’s got to be lots of prayer and encouragement for and to your spouse. Your spouse not only needs your prayers and encouragement, in the spiritual sense, but he/she needs to hear these words spoken and written throughout the years.

#12 – A great marriage consists of a mom and dad who love each other so much that the kids know dad would choose mom over them in a heartbeat, and she would do the same. This doesn’t mean they don’t love the kids, but it does mean they won’t be divided by the kids.

#13 – You’ve got to learn from each other as parents. There are some things at which she will naturally be good and some things at which he will naturally be good. Some things, neither of you will be good at, and you’ll have to learn together. Learn well, and have grace for each other when it’s not how you would do it.

#14 – A great marriage consists of great perspective. If you’re not seeing eye to eye, try changing perspectives. You’ll be surprised what you might see. 

#15 – A great marriage consists of two people who work together to make a good home.

#16 – If you want a marriage that lasts, you’ve got to be faithful. This doesn’t mean that infidelity always leads to divorce, but WOW, it does mean unfaithfulness sure makes the journey together (and the restoration) all that more difficult.

#17 – A great marriage consists of two people working hard to savor the moments and appreciate the little things that make their spouse who he/she is.

#18 – Your confidence in who you are and who your spouse is can make or break a good marriage. You’ve got to love yourself before you can truly love someone else, and you’ve got to believe in your spouse before you can begin to truly see who he/she is.

#19 – A great marriage consists of loving the past for what it is, having hope for what the future brings and living fully right here in the present.

#20 – A great marriage doesn’t consist of two perfect people making a perfect life together. A great marriage consists of two imperfect people living an imperfect life, while serving a perfect God who draws out a perfected love for Him, and in turn, creates a daily perfecting love for each other.

I am so thankful for my husband, this wonderful man God gave me to marry 20 years ago. I love him more with each new day, and I am more amazed with each passing year just how much I don’t deserve this blessing I’ve been given! He is my love, my best friend, my confidante, and my cheerleader. He protects me, and he encourages me to be more than I thought I could be. I could go on and on about my love for him, but I will stope here and simply say, I could not imagine asking for more! ❤

Woman

/ The WheatandTares / 7 Comments

I have read this before, but it struck a chord with me today as I reread it. … Woman, don’t forget your worth. Cherish it. Wear it with confidence, but, also, wear it with all humility and grace. 😉

Kriti Sharma's avatarMy small column of expression

When God created woman he was working late on the 6th day…

An angel came by and asked.“ Why spend so much time on her ?”.

The lord answered. “ Have you seen all the specifications I have to meet to shape her…

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What a Girl Needs

/ The WheatandTares

Speaking from a place of experience, there are some fundamental needs that only a Daddy can give. When a girl misses out on these essential, especially in her young, tender years, she can struggle with self-worth, significance and love for the rest of her days. She may survive through it. She may have enough fortitude to square her shoulders, clinch her jaw and stare down these challenges for her emotions; however, even if she’s the toughest broad you’ve ever met, she’ll still walk with a limp.

A woman must have a sense of security in her life. She’s got to know things are going to be okay, even in the midst of a storm. If she can envision peace after the turmoil, it is easier for her to stand tall and face the wind. If she can imagine joy after the sorrow, she can lift her chin, clinch her jaw and laugh at the danger in front of her.

A woman has to have someone be captivated by her. Yes, you’ve heard the old saying, “every girls dreams of being a beautiful princess.” This is actually truth. She must have someone in her life who thinks she is something special. Someone by whom she is thought to be valuable, a treasure to be cherished. If she is found captivating, she finds herself fulfilled, satisfied, even having a sense of completion.

Lastly, a woman must have a sense of belonging. If she can feel as if she belongs to a group, a cause or a certain person, she will stay committed, at times, even to her own detriment. If you don’t believe me, just look at every woman who stays in an abusive relationship for years on end, or a youngster who stays committed to a certain peer group even when they are, frequently, mean spirited toward her. As long as she has an overall feeling of acceptance and a sense of belonging, she will endure what she must to keep those feelings alive.

A man can provide these feelings for a young girl, a teen and even for a full grown woman. He can give these genuinely out of the abundance of his heart, and he can, also, fabricate these out of the fantasies of his mind; however, on both accounts, he will eventually disappoint and let this little girl down. Skeptical, you say? Cynical, maybe? Well, actually, I am being neither; I am simply being truthful.

No man can always give a girl total security, unending captivated eyes and a solid sense of belonging. He will eventually give into his own fleshly nature and be unstable, oblivious and detached.  The only way a man can give a woman all that she needs is when he is allowing Christ to be His center for life. When He allows Christ to be the center, he is able to lead her in the same direction. His leading can never fulfill all her needs; yet, when he leads and she follows, they can, together, reach a place of fulfillment of God’s purpose for their marriage and their lives. When she and he both place Christ at the center of their lives, it doesn’t mean their lives and their relationship will be picture perfect; however, it does mean it will be closer to perfection.

So, if you are a Daddy who longs to fulfill the needs of his little girl’s heart, let God guide your heart, and help your baby girl to fall in love with Him. If you’re a dad who maybe feels like you “missed it” with your little one and are now faced with a teen, young woman, or even a grown daughter who is searching for security, admiration and acceptance, run to Jesus, and encourage her to follow. If you are a husband whose wife longs for fulfillment, allow Christ to become the center of your life and lead your wife in a better way toward Him.

In following Him, you will be able to provide those things which the young and grown women in your life need, not because of your own abilities, but rather, because of Christ who is living inside of you. She may not always follow, and your life can never be the source of her fulfillment; however, as you seek Him, she will see a better way, and when she finally yields to Him, she will find fulfillment in Him, and then, she will find everything she needs.