SOMETIMES, we just need to learn to say, “NO!”
We heard this statement many times on television through those anti-drug commercials of the 80’s. We heard it month after month, encouraging all to not give into the enticing voices of culture and drug dealers who would lie and say, “Just a little won’t hurt you!”
Yet, we seem to have moved further and further from the totality of this sentiment as we’ve become a “tolerant society” that seems more bent on pushing one agenda or another rather than actually saying, “No” to many things to which we need. We seem to have risen to a new level of “tolerance” where every cultural opinion must be agreed to, or we risk being called a racist, fascist or just simply a bigot. As I’ve stated before, just because I disagree with you does not mean I hate you.
I disagree with my husband at times; yet, he is my best friend, my confidante and my love. I disagree with my children, especially when their decisions will put them in dangerous situations; yet, I love them so much, I’d lay my life down for them. My loyalty may not run as deep for you or for those with whom I disagree and do not know personally, but it does not mean I harbor hate within my heart simply because of my disagreement.
Yet, because of my own experiences, life choices and personal convictions, you and I may not agree on all things. Ya know what? That is completely ok! You may live your life quite differently than mine, and that’s ok, too. That’s actually part of living, and that part of being an individual and having your own choices.
Being of different opinions is okay, too. However, when those opinions begin infringing upon someone else’s personal wellbeing, there should be a wake up call. When those agendas or disagreements come with an expectation of agreement and are followed with a demand of approval or a threat of consequences if not adhered, then, a separation and distance should be put into place for those involved.
Sometimes, we just need to find the courage to say, “No,” and stick to our decision. Sometimes, we need to find our backbone and settle into the boundaries we have set for a dangerous relationship or a rebellious child or a consistently wounding acquaintance and resolve to leave it there. Sometimes, we need to cut the ties with that toxic person in our life with whom only turmoil and chaos resides.
Sometimes, for our own sanity, peace of mind and personal wellbeing, we must look at the “appointment book” of our life and reply to their request,
“No, Thursday’s out. … Yeah, Friday’s out, too. … How about never – is never good for you?”
That cartoon was posted in a restaurant bathroom, and it made me both laugh and have a bit of an “Ah-ha!” moment! 😂
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I know – you are right. We must set parameters for ourselves or we eventually become mired in muck and never escape … the older I get, the more I realize how precious time is. I love the cartoon – it is so true!
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Isn’t it, though? … I am learning this more and more as I’ve gotten older, too. Spent way too much time, in my younger years, chasing after those from whom I thought I needed love and attention but who brought chaos and pain into my life. So thankful to have learned the lesson well. My life is now much more peaceful, and I am able to invest in those who love me back…and teach others the lessons I have learned! 💕
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And you convey the message beautifully in your writing so you have learned well! There is always the Dutch proverb to remember in the back of your mind: “We grow too soon old and too late smart.” My mom said that all the time. ❤
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Aww, thank you for the encouragement, and I like the proverb. It is so very true! 💗
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You are so welcome and it is true – I love proverbs and that is one of my favorites as well.
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So important to remember this! My husband has a great saying: “Disagreement doesn’t necessarily mean dislike.”
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