You say you love me, and my heart twists in a knot.

Butterflies fly and my head is light.

My mind wants to believe, but my heart has been deceived.

So, I pray your words are true while I doubt their veracity.

I find myself desperate for your affections, yet shielding my emotions.

I hear myself reply to your promises with longings of my own,

Yet, I don’t trust you to be faithful.

I don’t trust you to be true.

Why does my heart twist and turn and refuse to accept yours?

Why does my heart twist and turn your words to mean ill-will to mine?

Oh God, forgive my betrayal.

Please, forgive my unbelief.

You are my Creator, my Source, my eternal King.

You are the mender of my heart, untwist this vile thing.

Return me to my first love, and purify my soul to sing.

Penned – MG – 6/13/22

The heart is deceitful above all things, And desperately wicked; Who can know it?

Jeremiah 17:9

Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean; Wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow. Make me hear joy and gladness, That the bones You have broken may rejoice. Hide Your face from my sins, And blot out all my iniquities. Create in me a clean heart, O God, And renew a steadfast spirit within me. Do not cast me away from Your presence, And do not take Your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of Your salvation, And uphold me by Your generous Spirit.

Psalm 51:7-12