Heartbeats

Through The Years

/ The WheatandTares / 9 Comments

 
   This week, my husband and I are celebrating 20 years together. We actually dated for 3 1/2 years before we married; so, I could say, we’re actually celebrating 23 1/2 years of being together and 20 years of marriage. I can now say, I’ve been with him over half of my life!
IMG_0852(Look at those two youngins! Who in the world is that anyway?! Oh. My. Goodness!! lol.)

I can honestly tell you, I love him more today than the first day I met him and even more than the day I married him! Some people could scoff at that statement, and some might wonder how that could possibly be true; so, as a way of celebrating today, I’d like to tell you a few things I’ve learned along the way and a little bit of how this can become true for you…

*This is, by NO means, a complete list, nor is it a perfect list. There are so many more things for me to learn, and I shall until the day I die…

#1 – If you want your marriage to last, you must first love God before you love your spouse. I don’t love my husband, because I am, somehow, a strong person, or because I’m “just that good.” I love my husband, because I love God first, and He makes up the difference for my humanness.

#2 – A great marriage takes a thousand little miracles to make it work right. (Thus, another reason, you need to love God first! šŸ˜‰ )

#3 – You’ve got to give a lot and take a little to make a great marriage. It takes both of you giving, learning and growing together.

#4 – A great marriage consists of two people who never gave up on each other, no matter how hard it gets at times.

#5 – A great marriage consists of a sacred and hot marriage bed. Ok, yeah, there ya go. I said it. It’s hard for me to publicly talk a lot about this, cuz I don’t believe everyone needs to know my business; however, if you’re going to have a great marriage, this has got to be true, and No, it’s not “all about sex” either. If you’re on either extreme of that spectrum, you’re gonna have troubles. 

#6 – If you want your marriage to last, you’ve got to date each other. Life can just run over you until all you see is bills, children, school, work and more bills. You’ve got to remember how and why you got in this thing to begin with. Flirt, go out, have fun and remember the man/woman you fell in love with!

#7 – A great marriage takes a lot of grace and forgiveness even when you don’t want to.

#8 – Your spouse must come before your kids, your job and your family (parents, etc.) If you are always putting other things above the needs of your spouse, don’t be surprised when she/he does the same, and then, one day, you both ask yourself, “Why am I married to this person I no longer know?”

#9 – A great marriage consists of trust, honesty and loyalty. If you don’t trust your spouse, how can they ever have the freedom to be honest with you? If you aren’t honest with him/her, how can he/she want to be loyal to you? The three work together like a well oiled machine, or they work against each other for a broken down mess.

#10 – A great marriage consists of authenticity and vulnerablility. You’ve got to be authentic with each other. Why would you play games with the one you love? You’ve, also, got to be able to be vulnerable with each other. Why would you want to be with someone with whom you can’t share your whole heart?

#11 – If you want your marriage to last, there’s got to be lots of prayer and encouragement for and to your spouse. Your spouse not only needs your prayers and encouragement, in the spiritual sense, but he/she needs to hear these words spoken and written throughout the years.

#12 – A great marriage consists of a mom and dad who love each other so much that the kids know dad would choose mom over them in a heartbeat, and she would do the same. This doesn’t mean they don’t love the kids, but it does mean they won’t be divided by the kids.

#13 – You’ve got to learn from each other as parents. There are some things at which she will naturally be good and some things at which he will naturally be good. Some things, neither of you will be good at, and you’ll have to learn together. Learn well, and have grace for each other when it’s not how you would do it.

#14 – A great marriage consists of great perspective. If you’re not seeing eye to eye, try changing perspectives. You’ll be surprised what you might see. 

#15 – A great marriage consists of two people who work together to make a good home.

#16 – If you want a marriage that lasts, you’ve got to be faithful. This doesn’t mean that infidelity always leads to divorce, but WOW, it does mean unfaithfulness sure makes the journey together (and the restoration) all that more difficult.

#17 – A great marriage consists of two people working hard to savor the moments and appreciate the little things that make their spouse who he/she is.

#18 – Your confidence in who you are and who your spouse is can make or break a good marriage. You’ve got to love yourself before you can truly love someone else, and you’ve got to believe in your spouse before you can begin to truly see who he/she is.

#19 – A great marriage consists of loving the past for what it is, having hope for what the future brings and living fully right here in the present.

#20 – A great marriage doesn’t consist of two perfect people making a perfect life together. A great marriage consists of two imperfect people living an imperfect life, while serving a perfect God who draws out a perfected love for Him, and in turn, creates a daily perfecting love for each other.

I am so thankful for my husband, this wonderful man God gave me to marry 20 years ago. I love him more with each new day, and I am more amazed with each passing year just how much I don’t deserve this blessing I’ve been given! He is my love, my best friend, my confidante, and my cheerleader. He protects me, and he encourages me to be more than I thought I could be. I could go on and on about my love for him, but I will stope here and simply say, I could not imagine asking for more! ā¤

Southern Heart

/ The WheatandTares / 4 Comments

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I am a Southern girl, born and bred, and I am proud of it. In the South, we grew up knowing trust in God, family and country were three of the most important things to take care of in life, and when one of those got out of balance, the others were soon to follow. We were taught to respect our elders, appreciate our relatives, (even if they’re a little crazy), and good friends and food go a long way to make a good day great. Old dirt roads are best enjoyed on the back of a pick up truck, and front porches were made for rocking chairs and long late night talks. Fireflies were made to catch in mason jars and catfish were made to fry up for dinner. Sweet tea is made onlyĀ when the sugar is poured before the tea gets cold, and chicken is best served fried with a side of mashed potatoes, gravy and biscuits…oh, and with an apple pie for dessert. Ā “Yes ma’am,” “No, ma’am,” and The Pledge of Allegiance isn’t just polite, it’s expected, and being a sass mouth is just plain rude…there can be found a hickory switch or two for that one. Barefoot and swimming holes are sought for in the summertime and wintertime is simply harder to find. Thanksgiving is for pumpkin pies, turkey and dressing, and Christmas is for gatherings of family and friends to remember our Savior’s birth and sing of that glorious story. Being from the South makes up who I am, and even if I wasn’t born here, I don’t think you could drag me away. It’s in my heart, and it’s here to stay.

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If you aren’t from the South, don’t like the South, or you’ve never been here, that’s ok. You may be proud of where you’re from, too. You don’t have to love my home, and I don’t have to love yours, but I will try to respect it; that’s just the Southern way. šŸ˜‰ It bothers me to no end those who ridicule the South by saying we’re less educated or less cultured, because our dialect is a little different than theirs, or because we didn’t grow up where they did. I won’t spend a lot of time here on that soapbox; however, I don’t believe it’s from whence you came that makes you smarter or more stupid than the next guy; it’s all in how you act, react and treat your fellow man that will determine your intellect or lack thereof.

I am so thankful to be from the South, and I can’t think of many other places I’d rather live. I’ve been to many other states, and I’ve yet to find an area I like more. So, if you’re from the South, “Welcome Home, Ya’ll!” and if you’re not, “Come on back to see us soon!”

Daily Prompt: South

What Makes You Tick?

/ The WheatandTares / 4 Comments

I wanted to do a little different post today. I’d like to hear from those of you out there who frequent The Grizzle Grist Mill, as well as, those of you who might be dropping by for the first time today…
 

This photo not only sums up one of my favorite places, but it always turns my thoughts towards my Savior as well. For He is Living Water. ā¤ļø John 7:37-38

 
 I was scrolling through my iPhone pictures this morning, and because I probably tend to be a photo hoarder, I have way too many pictures stored there! However, even when I clear the storage down to just a few (100 šŸ˜³), there are a handful of photos that I like to keep in there. It made me wonder if there might be others “out there” who do the same thing? Are there some things that you keep close just because they seem to be a part of you? Is there a photo or a possession you have that just seems to sum up who you are and what you’re about?

For the sake of online safety, I don’t post any present day photos of my guys, but my little family is a great big part of me!

 

What makes you tick? Will you kindly share one or two of them with us today? šŸ˜Š

 

I love this man with all my heart! ā¤ļø

 
 

My childhood home will always be a part of me.

 

Mom’s Job

/ The WheatandTares / 1 Comment

We, as moms, have so many jobs, so many responsibilities to fulfill. These change often, too, depending on the age of our children, the different seasons of life, and the various needs of our family. What my roll was, as a mom with our boys, 10 years ago looks somewhat different than today; yet, I have found a few “mom jobs” to remain constant over the years. If these go missing, chaos seems to presume.

  Speak Life – It is our responsibility to speak life into our home and our children. We need to encourage, admonish, admire and lead by example. Christ said, “I am the Way, the Truth and the Life…” When we speak life to them, it is the beginning of their seeing Christ. It causes them to see a better way than where their fleshly desires would entice them. When we speak life, it guides them in truth. Solomon, the wisest man in Scripture, had a mother who spoke life into him. You can see that in Proverbs 31, when she admonishes him about drinking and shares with him what kind of “good woman” he should seek. Speaking life is not condoning sin or emphasizing failures. It is giving them God’s best in their moment in order for growth, strength and transformation to occur.

  Provide Liberty (freedom) – It is incumbent upon us to give our children the freedom to grow into the man or woman they are meant to be. We begin this from a very early age. We hold their hand to teach them to walk, and then, we let go so they can. We hold onto the back of the bike so they can get steady, and then, we let go and watch them bike around the block on their own. We help them in so many ways, at the beginning holding on to make sure they’ve got it, and then, we watch them as they learn to do things on their own. We must do this with their dreams as well! It is our job to help them to dream and to one day fly to higher heights, and we must give them the freedom to do so! When we hold on to tightly, or we hold them back because of fear, competition or even jealousy, we cripple them and cause their way to be harder than it needs to be. They may still reach their dreams, but oh, the hardships and battles they have to face along the way!

  Give Love – It is our calling to love those God puts in our care. We were made as nurturing creatures. We were created as networking beings, to reach out, to connect. We have been developed to care, to cry, to comfort and to cover our loved ones with our love and prayers. If we are not reaching our arms up in prayer and out in love, we will wreak havoc on all those around us. That’s why it’s so important for us, as women but especially as mothers, to release anger, bitterness, strife and unforgiveness. If we hold onto these things, we don’t just simply “cover it up and hope it goes away,” as we often want to believe we can. It breeds in our home and eventually manifests in all areas of our lives, as well as, in the lives of our children. We must love. We must care. We must reach out. Hannah brought a new coat to little Samuel every year at the time of the feast offerings. There is a whole book in the Bible devoted to the story of Ruth and how she not only loved her husband but how she loved her mother-in-law. Esther changed the heart of a king by her love for her God, her husband and her people.

It is said, “The mother is the heart of the home.” I tend to agree with this statement, but I want to make it a little more specific. I believe she can be the heartbeat of the home. With her attentiveness, her effort and her consistent focus on Christ, she can not only keep a hand on the pulse of the home, but she can also become the heartbeat of that home. If she is stable, loving, courageous, bold, prayerful, gentle and kind, her home has a better chance of being the same. If she is imbalanced, hateful, fearful, lacking in prayer, grouchy and just plain mean, her home will most likely emulate the same attitude and personality.

Men weren’t created to do these things the way a woman was! They have their own purpose and their own calling within the home, but it is different than a woman’s. We have a purpose, and we must fulfill it, or everyone loses!

“Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her:
 ā€œMany women do noble things, but you surpass them all.ā€
Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. Honor her for all that her hands have done, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.”   Proverbs 31:28-31

Happy belated Mother’s Day!

Love Doesn’t Mean Tolerance

/ The WheatandTares / 1 Comment

Okay, so I have a little bit a spiel to spell today. I’m not going to be lengthy nor testy, but if you’ll indulge me, there’s just something I’d like to share…

Just because I am a Christian does not mean I should shut up and just love with no regard for sin. Just because I’m a Christian does not mean I no longer have a voice to speak against wrong. Honestly, I am so tired of hearing people, both Christians and nonChristians, claim that my love is proven when I simply “shut up and love” which in their book means to tolerate with no resistance, because “after all, God is a God of love. Jesus was a peaceful man…He loved everybody.”

Yes! JesusĀ did love everybody, and yes, He was gentle and kind. He is a merciful and forgiving God.Ā However, He also ran the money changers out of the temple with a whip! He did tell the adulterous woman to “Go and sin no more.” He told the woman at the well all about her past and offered her a better way. He told the rich young ruler to “Go, sell all you have and follow me.” He told Zaccheus to come down from where he was, because He had a different plan.

Just because Jesus loves and is merciful doesn’t mean He leaves you to be who you are and where you are when you meet Him. If that were the case, why would you need Him as your Savior? A Savior is someone who rescues you from the state in which you find yourself. A Savior is someone who changes you from what you’ve been. I am so thankful He is a loving and merciful God, and I’m so appreciative that He has rescued me from a place of hopelessness and despair, but He didn’t save me so I could continue in my sin. He doesn’t give His message of hope to us so we can keep it to ourselves and never share it with someone else.

I don’t want to belabor the point here, but I am passionate about this fact:Ā Ā Just because He is a merciful God doesn’t mean He’s a silent Savior. Simply because He is a loving Father doesn’t mean He turns a blind eye to sin and allows you to continue in your own ways. The Word tells us He came to save the world and change the world. Ā The problem is that in today’s society, speaking out against wrong is now tagged with words like condemnation, judging or even hatred. When did we get to this point? When did we get to the place where we cannot even call sin sin anymore?

As Christians, we may not blend in with this world. We may not be popular with those in power, and we may not appease those in the press, but I have to ask, “What will that matter 150 years from now? What will that matter when we stand before our Lord and Savior?” We must decide. Whom are we called to serve, worship and follow, God or man?? The longer we remain silent, the more are dying an eternal death.

John 3:16-21, “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him. Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe stands condemned already because they have not believed in the name of Godā€™s one and only Son. This is the verdict: Light has come into the world, but people loved darkness instead of light because their deeds were evil. Everyone who does evil hates the light, and will not come into the light for fear that their deeds will be exposed. But whoever lives by the truth comes into the light, so that it may be seen plainly that what they have done has been done in the sight of God.”

Are You A True Friend?

/ The WheatandTares / 2 Comments

A friend is someone with whom you enjoy spending time. You hang out doing things together or simply relaxing after a hard week. You laugh together, talk about good turns and great memories, and maybe even dream about the days to come.

A good friend is someone with you share your joys, your troubles and your fears. You cry on her shoulder and wipe her tears that flow with yours. You share the exciting news of good things. You tell of the concerns growing and the ones that have dissipated.

A best friend is one who is with you, and who wants to stay, in the darkest times. She draws from your strength when she is weak and encourages you when yours is failing. She believes in who you are, recognizes who you’ve been, and loves you for who you are becoming.

A true friend is one who does all that has been mentioned, and He is the one who has your back when someone comes against you. He speaks up for you when you’re not able. He goes into the fight with you, and his wounds are as deep as yours and sometimes more. He protects you when you can’t protect yourself.

God is the absolute best friend we could ever have. He is all of these things and more. Often, I struggle with the thought of being a “friend” of God, because I feel I fail Him in so many ways. I wonder how in the world can I live up to being a friend like He is to me, and then, my thoughts are turned toward my own friendships.

There are times when I might be stronger in a relationship than the other person; yet, there are other items, when I lean so heavily in my friend, I wonder how she’s still standing. At that moment, I realize, if this is true on my human relationships, how much more can it be true with a Holy and Perfect God?

He loves us so much, and He longs for a relationship with us. He doesn’t demand it to be perfect. He knows we are not capable of perfection. Yet, He takes us as we are. He loves us where we are, and challenges us to be more. He gives and blesses, refines and transforms, and enables us to be a friend to Him.

I am so humbled. I am so thankful that He draws me and asks me to be a friend even with all my imperfections, failings and need for change. It makes me love Him even more. šŸ’—

Are you a true friend? Is He yours?

Proof is All Around

/ The WheatandTares / 2 Comments

Proof is in the blooming of the trees after a long hard winter when everything seemed to die. It’s in the scurrying of life along the forest floor after the season of hibernation has come to an end. Proof is in the blossoms of Spring when the trunks have been burnt from wildfires. It’s in the new birth of the tiny creatures who find their mother’s care with blinded eyes and tiny mouths.

Can you see it?

Can you see the evidence in the sun rising above the mountains and the same orb setting over the ocean?

Can you feel it in the wind that blows through your hair as the sun shines down and warms your face? Can you sense it in the snow that falls upon the spring flowers?

Proof of a God is all around you if you’ll simply open your eyes and look about to see what is there. Proof is surrounding you if you’ll but open your ears to listen to His voice in the birds that sing and the tide that rolls in from the depths of the sea.

He is beautiful. He is peaceful. He is all powerful.

I pray you will find the proof you need.
I heard this song the other day, and it prompted all these thoughts to flow…

See video of the song on youtube –Ā Faith Mountain Band

Man-Child

/ The WheatandTares / 6 Comments

Our son shared a devotion during his youth service last night, and someone snapped a photo and sent it to me.  

 At first glance, I was in shock, in tears and in awe of who I saw. It was as if he had grown up overnight, or maybe just in the hour and half since I dropped him off. How does this happen??

They are so tiny when they’re born, so helpless, so dependent on everything we do for them. We survive the endless midnight feedings and sleepless restings, only to enter the toddler years, when they seem heck-bent in killing themselves in one fashion or another! 

  
Then, it’s school days and taxi driving to every event and sports practice known to mankind. This is soon followed by the absence of mind and hearing through the teenage years, and we wonder some days how we could have given birth to such a creature. These days of challenge and adventure are continued as those, once tiny dependents, start testing their abilities and spreading their wings. They push for their independence, and we seriously wonder how our hearts will handle the empty nests once they’ve flown. 

Yet, there comes a moment after the night of events, when you’re watching his smile and hear the excitement in his voice, and you realize you wouldn’t want him any other way. You know within your heart you never want to hinder him or hold him back from his dreams. You see that the once little boy may no longer be in those days of youth, but you realize, as he wraps his arms around you and says, “I love you, Mom” that your man-child has grown past the point of no return, and you long for him to spread his wings and fly to the highest heights and let nothing hinder his dreams and aspirations. 

What is Easter to you?

/ The WheatandTares / 2 Comments

What is Easter to you?

Is it cute little bunnies, an Easter Egg Hunt and all the goodies in the basket that you look forward to? Maybe, it’s the color coordinated outfits and the pretty little family picture for the social media page. Or maybe it’s the Sunday morning attendance at that church where grandma has gone all her life, and after all, since the family’sĀ been begging you foreverĀ to go, you might as well make your ā€œonce (or twice) a year showing.ā€

Perhaps,Ā your thoughts of Easter turn toward the sunrise services and Lent inĀ the weeks before. Maybe your musings even turn toward the annual Easter plays, Choir musicals and worship endeavors of local bands and places of fellowship. If you’re in the ministry, it could be the many events of the weekend, the hard work that needs to be accomplished for the ‘big day,’ or possibly even a sermon,Ā devotion or songĀ presentation you’ve been asked to share on this once-a-year event.

For me,Ā Easter is filled with a heaviness of heart, a gratefulness of mindĀ and a trueĀ rejoicing of myĀ spirit. This heaviness comes when I think of the cross and the price Jesus paid in my place. TheĀ weight of it allĀ comesĀ with the tears I shed thinking of His great sacrifice for my wretched lost ways andĀ sinfulness. It’s not condemnation, mind you, but rather, a great conviction of who He is and who I am not. For Isaiah made it clear for us, “…He was wounded for our transgressions, He was bruised for our iniquities; The chastisement for our peace was upon Him, And by His stripes we are healed.” (Isaiah 53:5) You see, the cross, in all its shame and agony, was necessary for the shedding of Christ’s blood forĀ you and for me. It’s notĀ a joyous place, especiallyĀ by the world’s standards, but oh, “…for the joy set before Him…” that joy was you and me!

The gratefulness of mind begins as I think of the hope I have in Christ and that hope which is for all who believe. I am grateful He died, and I am moreĀ grateful that He loved me enough to die in my place. Romans 8:11, says, ā€œIf the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead dwells in you, he who raised Christ Jesus from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through his Spirit who dwells in you.ā€Ā Ā I am, also, so grateful He didn’t stay in that place, thatĀ He rose again on that third day! I do not serve a dead King! I serve the King of Kings, the King who has risen and whoĀ is coming back again one day soon to take me home!

ThisĀ is when the rejoicing builds into an overwhelming sense of joy and wonder as I ponder His pure love for me, and that this love is not conditional; it is not weak; it’s not wavering in circumstances and it’s not abundant for some and lacking for others! My spirit is overcome with rejoicing when I think about howĀ GREATĀ a God He is, and how HeĀ has chosen Easter to represent His great love, His great sacrifice and His great resurrection for us! We should rejoice and praise Him not only today, but EVERY day for His love and redemption and His resurrection and soon return!! He is worthy to be praised!

 

You call me FRIEND??

/ The WheatandTares

ā€œFriendship is born at that moment when one man says to another: “What! You too? I thought that no one but myself . . .”ā€ C.S. Lewis, The Four Loves

This very statement, I believe, sheds light on the reason it is often so hard to become a friend of God. Sure, we can truly see ourselves as His daughters (or sons, respectively), His children, His servants and even, for those who really struggle with their place in Christ, His little, lowly followers who are just happy that He doesn’t decide to squash them today! However, sometimes, to see ourselves as His friend, it takes much more than just a quaint little understanding of who He is.

Maybe I’m the only one who has struggled with this…

You see, for me, friendships don’t come that easy, not those kind of friendships that really last, those kind of friendships that are more like blood-kinships, family-types. It’s not because I’m not a friendly person; you can ask anyone who knows me, I may be shy, but I can meet and greet with plenty, and it’s not that I don’t want to have friends. I have tons of people who are great acquaintances, wonderful “friends” with whom I converse during the week, say “Hi” to on Sunday and even hang out with from time to time. These are great and wonderful people, people for whom I care deeply and love immensely. These are definitely friends of mine.

However, these aren’t the friendships to which I’m referring. I’m talking about those people for whom you know without a shadow of a doubt that you’d give your life, those to whom you are comfortable sharing the innermost depths of your heart, never afraid of what they might think once you’re finished, those friends who see you at your very worst and your very best and have loved you regardless of what you’ve said or done at both ends of that spectrum. They are people with whom you have a common bond, a covenant and a kinship of spirit which cannot be broken by circumstances, other people or even your own fears and doubts. These are the kind of friends I’m talking about here, and this kind of friendship is very rare.

Many times, when I look at Jesus, I see a King. I see my Heavenly Father. I see the Creator of the Universe. I see a God so holy, so worthy and so glorious that I can’t even fathom why He would look at a lowly creature like me and love me and desire a friendship with me. Often, my mind has a hard time comprehending such majesty, such faithfulness, such love, and such a friendship.

Yet, then, my fourteen year old son walks into the room, and I begin to think of the conversation we had at lunch earlier that day. We enjoyed laughing together, talking about his latest music find and musing about the days to come. I remember how my soul longed for more time with him and how my heart leapt when he asked my help with something I thought maybe he didn’t need.

That’s when this statement by C.S. Lewis comes alive in my spirit, and I see just a glimpse of what my Heavenly Father might be feeling toward me. If I, being just a human, just a creature of such flesh, can long for a friendship with my own growing son, maybe, He, as King but also Father to me, can long for a kindred spirit and deep friendship with me. As I spend more time with Him, the more I get to know Him and the love He has for me, I find myself saying this very thing that C.S. Lewis said, “What! You too? I thought that no one but myself…”