Lessons Learned

Feeling a Little “Blah?”

/ The WheatandTares / 3 Comments

Do you ever just wake up some days and feel, “blah?” You think about it and realize you had a good night sleep. You didn’t have a fight with your spouse. Your kids are actually following rules and doing the things they need to do, and the clouds aren’t even gray or threatening a rain shower. Yet, you just can’t seem to get past the gray skies within your heart, and your brain is getting tired trying to figure out why you’re not as chipper as the birds flying above.

Sometimes, we just have days when we feel a little off, where things don’t seem to be as they should within our hearts and minds. On days like this, I have found I have to put forth a little more effort to chase away those gray clouds. I have to move beyond my normal routine and “push back” against those bluesy feelings. If I don’t, I find myself slipping further down as the day prolongs.

On days like this, I am so thankful I have hope for which to live. I am so grateful to be a child of a loving Father who cares even about my “bummed out” moments.  I am so glad I am able to run to Him and find His arms open wide. He is always there awaiting our desire to be with Him. He is always ready and willing to listen and to help us through those tough spots.

He is ready to give us HOPE, LOVE, PEACE and JOY. All we have to do is show up before Him. It’s not a formula we must follow.  It’s not a list of perfection we must check. It’s not even a policy of dos and don’ts to which we must adhere.

It’s a relationship with an Almighty God Who loves us beyond conditions. It’s a moment of truth when He confronts our heart with change, and it’s an overwhelming sense of grace when He shows us His mercy and love, for our sins are completely washed away.

His joy is overflowing and more dependable than sheer happiness.

His peace is surpassing all circumstance and happenstance.

His love is unconditional beyond our sins and failures.

His hope is everlasting past the ages of time.

Won’t you join Him today in this hope? Won’t you release your fear and anger to Him and let Him guide you to a brighter tomorrow?

A letter to My Pregnant Self…

/ The WheatandTares

If I could go back to when I was pregnant with JGrizz, I would tell myself a few things to be remembered…

Decide, now, you will not sleep for the first three months, and then, when you get that first 30 minute nap, it will be absolutely glorious!

Everything you need to know won’t always be found in a book, given by your doctor, or even spoken by your mother. Sometimes, you’ll just have to follow your instincts.

There will be a time, your instincts will be proven wrong. This doesn’t mean you’re a failure, and this doesn’t mean it’s the end of the world. It means you’re human. It means you’re normal.

The house can’t always be kept clean. Toys seem to come alive in the night and find their way back to the living room before you awake. Learn to organize on a very small scale…very small…like one toy in one basket…at any given time.

One boy can have the volume of a surround sound system on level 55. Two boys can create a front row rock concert experience at 7:00 am. and, again, at 11:30pm.

When your three year old little boy refuses to come down from the Chic-Fil-A slide, it really does not mean you’re a terrible mom…Really.

That day when you have to literally step over your two and a half year old who is pitching a fit on sidewalk, in the front of the church, it does not mean you have failed at parenting. It means you are being brave and strong.

Enjoy those little scribbles and backward letters and upside down numbers … even when you find them on the bedroom wall. For one day, your child will be getting ready to apply for colleges far away from home.

Cherish those moments your two year old rides his Little Tykes motorized Harley in the backyard, for one day, way too soon, he will be talking about his soon coming birthday when he can get his license or driver’s permit.

There will be days when you just drink that cup of coffee and simply survive…and have one more cup of coffee to just make it till your early bedtime.


Find an outlet for your stress. Make time for you…even if it takes scheduling that night out on the calendar, and daddy has to keep the baby. He can do it. He loves that baby, too.

Make time for you and daddy, too. Dating your man IS important. If you and he don’t love each other, your child may not get to see what a great marriage is all about.

Most of all, make time for God, and this doesn’t have to be hours on end spent in the Upper Room. There will be seasons, especially when those babies are little, when devotions will come in snatches of time…it might be a Scripture today that brings peace to your weary mind, a Bible story tomorrow read from a children’s book that brings strength to your heart, and your favorite pastor’s sermon on Sunday morning which brings conviction and healing to your wounded soul.

God’s not about the rules, regulations and perfection. He wants a relationship. He wants to hear your thoughts. He wants to consume your heart. He loves you, and He wants to help you be the best mom you can be. He wants you to know He loves you and that YOU ARE ENOUGH!

Let me say it again, YOU ARE ENOUGH. This being a mom bit is CRAZY hard, but it is so very worth it!! … Be real. Be you. Find God in the chaos and hang on…Hang onto Him with all you’ve got, and you’ll make it.

“You just be you, and God will take care of the rest.” – Bones, Moms’ Night Out

“I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.”  Psalm 139:14

With or Without Hope

/ The WheatandTares

I’ve read several posts lately from those who are grieving and who are lonely. I’ve been there, in that lonely place, struggling to survive the pain…

These posts make my heart sad, not because the bloggers are heartbroken or grief-stricken, but because so many  grieve with no hope. For without hope, we have no purpose in the pain. We have no future beyond the pain. Without hope, it is all just meaningless and worthless. Without hope, life doesn’t seem worth living.

Yet, where there is hope, there is life beyond the pain. There is a purpose through the pain, and there is some semblance of meaning that we can try to grasp. There is something more that is worth holding onto.

It doesn’t mean we will never experience the pain, only that, deep down, we have a knowing that we will live BEYOND the pain, because there is something MORE for which to live.

Hope is a powerful thing. Without it, life is just a survival game.

Hope causes our spirit to fight. Hope causes our mind not to give up. Hope causes our body to push forward behind normal limits.  Hope causes us to thrive.

…Thriving is so much more fun than simply surviving.


“And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes; there shall be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying. There shall be no more pain, for the former things have passed away.” Revelation 21:4

The Best Gift

/ The WheatandTares

The best gift you can give your child is the gift of hope. I’m not talking about the hope that comes from having a great job or more money. I’m not talking about hope that comes from being more or having more.

I’m talking about a hope that cannot be bought with a salary or influence or even wishful thinking. This hope to which I refer is not one made of human hands or even human aspirations. It’s a hope beyond your wildest imaginations.

This hope is truly a gift, because not only can it not be bought, but it also cannot be worked for or earned in any way, shape, or form. To obtain it, we can’t ever become a better person or act better; yet, because of it, we do become a better person, and it does cause us to act better.

This hope doesn’t make the world perfect, but it does make it closer to perfection. It doesn’t make us sinless, but it does make us sin less. It is a perfect hope, one without sin or blemish, mistake or failure.

This hope is Jesus Christ, His redeeming love, and salvation for us. This hope is wrapped up in heaven and our reconciliation to that wonderful world beyond. This is the hope of which I speak. This is the very best gift you can give your child.

For without hope, a man will surely perish. Without hope, a woman will grow bitter and full of malice and dread. Without hope, a child will be consumed with fear and confusion and rage.

True hope can only come from God, for His Hope brings peace and healing. His Hope brings strength. His Hope brings restoration and reconciliation.

True hope brings love into the home and runs depression, chaos and confusion right out of your mind. Hope gives a purpose and brings a calling. Hope will never fail you.

Don’t delay. Don’t hesitate. When you have this hope, your best days are ahead of you. Seize that hope for your child’s better future. Hope for brighter days, and hope to make the most of the night, wherever you are. Hope for a better future, an eternal hope. This is the best life gift to give your child.

Find it, and give it today.

“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope.” Romans 15:13

“Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.” Hebrews 11:1

“Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life.” Proverbs 13:12

Tears Bring Healing

/ The WheatandTares / 1 Comment

Tonight, I had to tell our youngest, “No,” and it just broke my heart to watch him struggle with the answer, fight back the tears, and, finally, come into my arms for comfort and to shed a few more years. It wasn’t a no that I wanted to give, and it definitely wasn’t a moment of excitement, but I told him, “No,” because the cost was just too high, and we just didn’t have it to give for a new pet.

You see, he wanted a leopard gecko. He loves animals…LOVES them, I say. He always has; if I would let him, he would have his room (or the whole house, for that matter!) full of all kinds of creatures. He had been talking about this latest endeavor for about a week. He had researched what they eat, what their habitat needed and how they slept. He was ready. We headed to the pet store with the pre-knowledge that mom could pull the brakes, if needed, depending upon price, difficulty of care and the need to feed them live food. Note: Because he is only ten, and knowing the reputation he has of loving the pets but, eventually, leaving most the feeding and cleaning to mom, I was not going to be okay with a pet who was high maintenance or needed live animals in its diet. (Sorry, I’m really not a “girly girl,” but I don’t care much for crickets, worms, etc.)

Off to the pet store we went. The lady who helped us was incredibly knowledgeable. She had a fish, a bearded dragon and a cat at home herself. She was so patient and informative, even as we switched the decision, due to daily live cricket feedings to once a week live feedings, from a leopard gecko to a eyelash crested gecko,. Once all of the needed materials were loaded into the cart, and I started calculating in my head that this was rounding out at about $200, without the $50 gecko, I had to call dad…this was just a big chunk of change for such a small pet. Dad made the final call and agreed that, indeed, it was simply too much to be spent right now. I watched as my sweet, pet-loving, son took the news with courage and understanding but, also, with a broken little heart.

He dutifully put all the items back on the shelf, refusing any comfort or conversation, until I finally said, “Buddy, come here a second.” He came into my arms and buried his little face and cried. It broke my heart. I knew it was the right decision we had to make, but feeling his little arms around my waist and looking into his red, tear stained eyes, I was ready to weep. I wanted to make it all perfect for him, to see his beautiful smile and hear his little squeals of laughter and delight.

Do I just want to give all things to my children no matter the cost or consequence? By all means! Is it for their betterment if I do this? Definitely not. It made me think of our Heavenly Father when He has to tell us, “No.” He doesn’t tell us no, because He wants to keep us from happiness. He doesn’t tell us no, because He is a mean father and just wants to see us cry and complain. He tells us no for our good. He tells us no, because He has a better plan. He tells us no, because He wants us to grow and learn and become whom He has designed in perfection.

When JMan earns all of the money to go back and buy that gecko, he will have grown a little. He will have learned more of what rewards can come when a little hard work and effort are achieved. He will also have learned a lot about appreciation for a gift well earned rather than an attitude of entitlement for a gift just simply received. Over the next few weeks, when the tears have settled and the little jobs are being done around the house, he and I will talk about the lesson that’s being learned…a life lesson: there are times we won’t always get what we want instantly, but if we set a goal, take the necessary steps to get there, it is always achievable. We will, also, talk about how in the moment, the tears may come and the disappointment may feel as if it’s breaking our heart, but given time, we will see clearly the growth, strength and healing which come when we handle our disappointments the way he did today.

On a lighter note, I found this pic today could very well and see this being him one day…without the pink pjs and long hair, of course. Lol…

  

**note: I do not possess, I do not own nor did I take this picture. It came up via Facebook. I simply screenshot it and posted here. 
 

 

 

Do You Ever Wonder?

/ The WheatandTares

Do you ever wonder why we’re really here? Why were we created here on the planet called Earth? For what were were we made…or for Whom?

I do. 

Do you ever wonder why we have feelings, emotions that grip us like fire or make us cold as ice? Why do we smile? Why do we cry and why are we even confused sometimes?

I do. 

Have you ever wondered what it was really like before you came? …Not just a century ago or even two. I’m talking before the beginning of time. Before any human was in existence. 

Christians believe there is a God, a Supreme Being who cast the stars and planets into orbit, who formed the mountains with His hands, who breathes life into man and caused him to walk and have his being. 

Atheists believe there was and is nothing, that we just are and will one day be no more…no beginning. No end. No purpose. No reason. 

Scientists believe there was nothing and then all is a sudden, “Bang!” There was a tiny life form, and all things were created from it. Some believe there is something controlling the times; others believe it just is what it is. 

What about you? Have you ever wondered? Have you ever searched with your heart to find? What if there is nothing? What if there is something? What if there is Someone? 

Out of all the theories, estimations and stories, I have but one thing I can believe. I have only one source from which I can find wisdom. 

There is a God in heaven. He is Supreme. He is Mighty. He was, and is and is to come. He is the Master Artist, the Master Creator, and He gave me breath in my lungs and a heart to keep beating. 

It is easier for me to believe there is Someone higher, mightier and much smarter than me than to believe there is simply nothing and will never be. It is easier for me to believe there is Someone above to can see all, do all and be all. It is easier for me to believe He loves me, died for me and is, one day soon, coming back to take me to His Heavenly home. 

“Why,?” You might ask. I believe, because He lives within me, and I can’t live a day without Him. He give me joy, peace and strength. He covers me with His grace that is sufficient in my times of need. 

“How do (I) know?” You might ask. I know, because I just know. I know, because I’ve met Him. I’ve met Him there in the quiet place of my soul. I know, because I’ve been away from Him, at times, and I’ve felt the void of not being near Him. I know, because, sometimes, you just know that you know, and no one can ever convince you otherwise. 

Do you? 

If you don’t, just give Him a chance. I challenge you, “Just tey (Him) on for size.” I promise you, He will not disappoint. He will be beyond your wildest dreams. 

“You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.” Jeremiah 29:13

“I love those who love me, and those who seek me find me.” Proverbs 8:17

Move On

/ The WheatandTares / 2 Comments

When you keep walking, you can reach your destination. When you keep moving, you can avoid a mess or even a tragedy. When you keep going forward, you are able to step into a new chapter of life. It is when we stop, when we hesitate for too long that we become stagnant. 

Stagnation can lead to apathy, laziness and eventually death. 
It also leads to a stench that no one wants to encounter. Have you ever been by an area that is filled with stagnant water? Do you remember the smell? It will begin to have a putrid, stale odor that you don’t want to hang around to endure very long. 

That’s how it is in our lives when we stay fixated too long in things from which we should move on. When we stop at the time which we should move, we run the risk of becoming stagnant. We take the chance of getting lazy in our calling, in our purpose and even in our tenacity to finish. 

Now, I’m not talking about those moments before God when we should come before Him to be quiet and still to hear His voice. I’m not talking about those moments of refreshing solitude. Our sanity depends on those. No, I’m talking about those moments when God is urging us forward, and it’s a little uncomfortable. Those moments when He is drawing us beyond where we’ve been, and it’s even a little painful to walk away from the warmth and comfort of what we know into a whole new place of challenge and change. 

These are the moments with some of the most vital decision making of our lives. These are the moments when we choose to grow and become who God is calling us to be, or we choose to remain and become stagnant in our outlook and in our purpose of living. When we choose not to move forward, whether it be from the pain we feel, the shame we see or the fear we hear calling from the depths of our soul, we begin to die inside, and we may very well miss out on the opportunity God has for us just around the corner! So, keep moving to see what He has in store for you!

Give It Up!

/ The WheatandTares

Sometimes, we just have to give it up! Now, I’m not talking about your faith or your salvation. I’m not talking about your marriage or that commitment you made that has gotten difficult to continue, but you know you must. No, I’m speaking of matters of the heart here. Those emotions that we should have laid down a long time ago. I’m talking about those thoughts and feelings that keep bubbling up when you least expect it, and they keep wrecking your peace, your joy and your future. 
You’ve been holding onto the past, your pain, your anger, and even your fears for so long that the holding on has become a ritual. It has become a routine, a part of you, as if it’s your right arm or hand. We all do it from time to time. We hold that thing close and cater to it, pamper it and even excuse it, until it become a part of us. Then, when we are confronted with Truth, with the need of letting it go, we buck and baulk like we’re being asked to cut off a vital organ! The Word says, in John 8:32, “Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” Truth comes to set us free from the bondage and strongholds that keep us bound and held back from a better life. Truth brings healing and freedom. So, how can we do that when that pain, or that emotion, has become a part of us?? We simply obey. We have to obey Him when He urges us to let go. 

We need to be so in love with Jesus that it doesn’t matter WHAT He asks of us, we are ready and willing to obey. We can’t obey Him simply because of our own goodness. Jeremiah 17:9 says, “The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked; Who can know it?” We don’t just have a “good heart” …even though that is definitely propagated here in South! (I hear moms and grandmothers say all the time, “I know they’re a rascal, and they cheat, lie and do drugs, but they’ve got a good heart!”…yeah, right!) 

We can’t obey simply because we work harder at it. It’s not a matter of works. If we only work to obey Christ out of our “dutifulness,” then, we’ve turned the cross into a bloodless stick. He didn’t die for us simply for us to do better. He died for us so we could love Him, to have a relationship with Him, and, ultimately, to restore us to our heavenly home. Hebrews 7:25 says it like this, “Therefore He is also able to save to the uttermost those who come to God through Him, since He always lives to make intercession for them.” He died for us so that we might be reconciled to Him!

If we continue to hold onto these wounds, these pains, these sins of our past and refuse to let them go and allow Him to heal us, we will continually miss His best for our lives! We need to realize when He asks us to let go of something, it is not to harm us or to bring us pain and agony. It is to bring us healing and freedom in Him. It is to bring about HIS best for our lives! …and we need to realize it wouldn’t hurt so much to let go had we not let it grow attached in the first place!! (Ha!)

Jeremiah 29:11-14 says, “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you,” declares the Lord, “and will bring you back from captivity. I will gather you from all the nations and places where I have banished you,” declares the Lord, “and will bring you back to the place from which I carried you into exile.”

I don’t know about you, but I want to choose freedom today! I will choose Truth and Liberty this year! It’s time to give it up, to lay down our will and our way, and to seek God’s complete truth for our lives!! Let’s give it up! 🙂

Wait Upon the Lord

/ The WheatandTares

We all get tired. We all get weary.
What do you do with it?

Do you get Grouchy? Do you get ill (physically or emotionally)? Maybe you just get downright mean and cantankerous? …Maybe unruly with your words or actions?

We’ve all been there. We’ve all had those moments. If you haven’t, keep on living, cuz we’re all human.

It happens.

The Bible says, “But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength….”

What if we realized that whom we serve is not just our spouse, our child, our boss, or even our friends?

What if we realized whom we are serving is the Creator of the Universe, the One who spun the moon and stars into orbit?

What if we realized whom we serve breathed breath into our lungs and put a heartbeat in our chest?

How would we serve then? How would we speak in that moment? How would we react when things don’t go just as we planned?

He’s the King of Kings. He’s the Lord of Lords. He is God Almighty.

I venture to guess our eyes would be brighter…our smiles would be wider…our words would be kinder, and our actions would be much more gracious.

The Bible goes further to say, “…they shall mount up with wings of eagles. They shall run and not grow weary. They shall walk and not faint.”

That means we’ll make it, if we can just wait on (or serve) HIM!

The Bible also says, “Do everything as unto the Lord.” …it says EVERYTHING! That’s a hard demand at times…

Like when our husband didn’t notice the laundry folded for the umpteen time but only fussed about that one shirt that didn’t get washed…or the wife who only noticed the trash wasn’t taken out but failed to notice the lawn got mowed and driveway got swept and the car was washed after a long days work…

Or maybe it’s in the middle of the night when one baby is wailing from an earache and the other just got sick in his bed…

Wait on the Lord

Maybe it’s when the boss is being unfair about a deadline and your co-workers are gossiping and cutting you down…

Maybe it’s when your teacher doesn’t seem to like you and your best friend just doesn’t seem to care…

Wait on the Lord…

Maybe it’s when your body is wracked with pain and the Drs can’t seem to figure out what in the world is wrong with you…

Maybe it’s when you’ve had to stand beside a graveside and say goodbye. They weren’t supposed to die so soon. There’s so many things left unsaid…left undone…

Let me read that while Scripture again a little differently…
“(YOU) that wait upon the Lord SHALL renew (your) strength. (You) SHALL mount up with wings like an eagle. (You) SHALL Run and not grow weary. (You) SHALL walk and not faint.”

…as the old song goes, “…teach me Lord to wait.”

My NY2016 Resolution

/ The WheatandTares

My New Years resolution is HOPE.

Hope for a brighter tomorrow.

Hope for a better future.

Hope for peace.

Hope for love.

Hope for joy.

If your hope is in this world, you will find yourself disappointed and let down time and time again.

This world has nothing for us.

This is our temporary home.

This is just a lay over, a delay at the airport.

Make the best of it while you’re here, but don’t set up camp.

Don’t make it permanent.

Don’t lay up treasures for yourself here.

Don’t trust that you can become comfortable here in this earthly home.

We’re not here to stay. We’re here to leave just as soon as we can.

Make sure your heart and soul is set to leave, and don’t wait too long to assure that hope.

For we are never guaranteed tomorrow. We aren’t even guaranteed our next breath.

He has promised to come back and take us home, and it will be soon.

Heaven is Honest.

Heaven is Home.

Heaven is Hope.

“Now may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, that you may abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.” Romans 15:13

“We always thank God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, when we pray for you, because we have heard of your faith in Christ Jesus and of the love you have for all God’s people— the faith and love that spring from the hope stored up for you in heaven and about which you have already heard in the true message of the gospel that has come to you.” Colossians 1:3-6a 

“Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.” Hebrew 11:1