Lessons Learned

The New Year’s Resolution 

/ The WheatandTares

New Year’s Resolutions. We all make them every year. So many of us start on January 1 with a long list of all the things we need to change. You know the list… Lose weight. Exercise more. Be more organized. Reach out more. Be more kind. Be more diligent. Remember special dates better. Eat better. Just simply, Be better. Too many stores make a lot of money this time of year with all the diet plans, gym memberships, organizational books and storage totes that are bought during this month.

Then, long about March 15, all of that money becomes a waste, and the commitments slowly fade away, as we slip back into our old habits and routines, because it was simply a vocalized pledge with no foundation laid for success. It was a mental note with no accountability or standards set for true inner change…because after all, it’s so much more comfortable to remain where we are than to take the necessary steps for long term resolutions.

When we make commitments simply to make ourselves feel better, or to make us look better to other people, or simply because we think it’s the “right thing to do at the time,” we may never be able to fulfill those lofty promises. I’m sure there are plenty of wise advisors today who can give you great input on how to achieve your New Year’s Resolutions; but if you’ll allow me, I’d like to give you three points which I have found to be true…

1. The new commitment must be based on Truth not just a good feeling or a common thought. Just because it feels good, doesn’t mean it will last, and just because it works for someone else, doesn’t mean it’ll work for you. Too often, we set New Year’s Resolutions, because someone else is doing it or  because “it’s the trendy thing to do in January!”

Just as serving Jesus only because “someone else is doing it” isn’t going to get you into heaven, making those New Years Resolutions simply because of someone else isn’t going to turn out so well either. The Word says in John 8:31-32, “Jesus said, ‘If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” Basing your commitment on truth will set you free from the expectations and the results or failures of others. Truth sets you free to learn and grow as is best for YOU, and it allows you to hear clearly the path you are to take. Truth sets us free from the trends, which come and go as the evening tide, and Truth is the door through which we will find our very best future.

2. We must build a foundation for the change. When a good builder builds a house, he doesn’t throw some walls together, slap a roof on it and call it good. No, he thinks about it, he carefully makes out his plans, and he usually gathers a team to assess the plans. After they have made their suggestions and given their advice, he then makes the necessary adjustments before he carries out those plans. Planning before making those commitments will help you to actually think about that to which you’re committing. Stopping to think allows you to not only realize the veracity of your commitment, but also, the depth of sacrifice you’ll need to make to carry out that commitment.

3. We must set boundaries in place and have strong accountability to sustain the change. When a professional MMA fighter, like Holly Holm, decides she is going to challenge the Ronda Rousy, she doesn’t simply step in the ring and say, “Bring it on.” She has a trainer; sometimes, she has a team of trainers who not only help her to work out and train for the big day, but they also help her study her opponent. They give her advice and pointers on how to be better, and they keep her accountable to her original goals and commitments. They work as a team to accomplish the goal set before her. Having a team around you who can help you, advise you, and even rebuke you at times, enables you to stay consistent to your commitments for a longer period of time. Having someone there to show us when we’re in error helps us to avoid the pitfalls and distractions that, too often, cause us to give up in despair before the goal is ever realized.

So, no matter your commitments and resolutions for this new year, if you can put these three little points into action before making them, you will find, later on in this year, those New Years Resolutions are here to stay!

Happy New Years to you and yours! 😊

Light Pierces Through at Christmas

/ The WheatandTares / 1 Comment

“Then Jesus spoke to them again, saying, ‘I am the light of the world.

He who follows Me shall not walk in darkness, but have the light of life’.”

John 8:12

light pierces

He is the Light which never fails. When the storm seems the darkest, when the waves are crashing in, just remember, light always pierces through the darkness. There is no storm so strong that He cannot prevail. There is no darkness so deep that He cannot shine.

This world in which we live is such a dark place. There are many waves of confusion crashing upon the shores of those around us. The storm clouds rage in so many with whom we come in contact, and yet, too often, we fail to shine the Light that would help them to see.

I think, maybe, during the Christmas season, some of us become more aware, because after all, it’s the season to be jolly, kind and thoughtful, and we see light everywhere! However, others of us miss prime opportunities during this season, because we have gifts to buy, food to cook, goodies to bake, families to visit, children to wrangle and overspending to be reconciled. We may overlook the lost and weary simply because we are so tired and dreary!

During these next few weeks, as we join together to celebrate the holidays, let us remember how to be His light to this dark and stormy world:

He brings peace where there is chaos.

He brings love where there is hate.

He brings truth where there is a lie.

He brings healing where there is brokenness.

He brings life where there is death.

The world can find this light if they can simply…

Just hope.

Just trust.

Just believe.

Let us be the light that pierces through their darkness.

Let us show them He is the Light of Life!

Old Before Your Time

/ The WheatandTares

Life is hard sometimes. People get sick. Family members pass away. We have bills to pay. Debts to reduce. Money that must be earned from long days of hard work.  

We have children who won’t listen, spouses who don’t hear. Bosses who place demands and leaders who set higher goals than we think we can ever achieve. Yes, life can be difficult. It can be a challenge. Life can be downright tiring!! 

It’s no wonder too many of us grow old before our time. It’s no surprise that we walk around frazzled and bedraggled. It’s not a shock that we’re, too often, tempted to give up the fight, to let the friction in our life take over and win. Life can just simply wear a good man out, and a mom with little ones, well, let’s not even get started!! 

Yet, Christ said we must become like little children. More Specifically, He said, “If you do not become like one of these little children, you will not enter the Kingdom of heaven.” So, how do we do this? How do we live up to that kind of expectation when life just drains the life right out of us?? 

I think we can start to answer that when we stop looking at the trouble and problems of our lives and begin to look at a little child. Too often, the older our children grow, the quicker we forget the joys and wonders of childhood. Sometimes, I wonder if that’s why God allows us to have grandkids later in life…as a simple reminder of wonder.  

What are the cares of a little boy when he walks in his room full of toys? …where’s my train, my truck, my bouncy ball? What does the little girl think about as she sees her stuffed animals at the table? …why a tea party, of course, and whom she’s going to invite!    

These children aren’t consumed with the cares of this world. Most of the time, they don’t even know the cares of this world! They can get lost in a world full of imagination, wonder, fantasy and fairytale. All they long to do is play, sing songs and find the next fun adventure to take!  

We can take a lesson from them. You might want to argue that we, as adults, must put aside those foolish things of childhood in order to succeed in life, to accomplish the many tasks and expectations that are placed upon us.  

Oh, but I have to disagree. It’s not that we should remain in immaturity and never take the responsibilities of adulthood, but that we should never lose our wonder. We should never shut out our intrigue for imagination and adventure. We should never put aside our joy simply because we’ve grown a few years older. For this is where dreams live. This is where we go beyond simply surviving through life, and we begin to thrive!    

The Word tells us, “The JOY of the Lord if our strength!” It even says, “For the JOY set before Him, He endured the cross.” 
Even in our moments of sorrow, our moments of heartache, the child within us can still learn and grow. Even in our deepest time of fear and doubt, that child can push beyond that fear toward faith and a new tomorrow. It is the choice in how we think, how we see, and how we live out our lives that determines if we are thriving or simply surviving. It is a choice we can make, even today, to continue to grow old or to stir up the child within and allow him or her to breathe and to dream again. 

A great place to start is with thoughts of heaven and all the laughter and joy we will find there. Can you hear them? Can you hear the children laughing and playing? When a child laughs, it’s like liquid gold, for it brings a lightness to the air. Laughter washes away sorrow. Laughter drowns out fear. The laughter of a child can mend a heart and revive a soul. Can you hear them? Wouldn’t it be fun to join them once again?   

Christmas Project

/ The WheatandTares / 2 Comments

I started last year with a family project at home that I’m starting a few days late this year, but I’m still going to do it:  A Christmas “Thankful Meaningful Jar.” We will each try to write down a mall note everyday of what Christmas means to us or something that we are thankful for at Christmas time. 

Christmas is about laughter, joy, family, coziness, warm fires and hot chocolate. It’s about reading a good book, being thankful, being joyous, being gracious, and being kind. It can also be a time of loneliness, heartbreak and desperate fear. It can be a time of lack, sadness and even anger. In our time of fulfillment, I never want our boys to forget others who don’t have. I never want them to get to a place of entitlement or expectancy and refuse to give what we have to those in need.

This is the reason for our new family tradition. I hope this jar of words of thankfulness, thoughtfulness and appreciation will help us to remember the true meaning of Christmas: Christ, His birth, His life, and His purpose. Remembering the “less fortunate” is exactly what He did; it’s what He’s all about. He left His glory, His beautiful kingdom for ME and for YOU! We didn’t deserve it. We were lost and destined for hell, but He loved us enough to come to help us, to save us, to change us and to give us a better eternity. He promised to be with us always and to, one day, come back to take us to His glorious kingdom. 

I am so thankful He did, and I believe I can serve a God like that. 💗

“For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him.” John 3:16-17

“Behold, the virgin shall be with child, and bear a Son, and they shall call His name Immanuel,” which is translated, “God with us.” Matthew 1:23

Bridges Across Pain

/ The WheatandTares

Bridges are a curious thing.

They can lead you toward a promise, away from trouble and across a vast number of pitfalls and mine fields. A bridge can take you to an enemy’s camp, a friend’s home or a stranger’s land. They can lead you high or lead you low, depending upon the terrain that lies below. Bridges are a curious thing, because they can take you far away from a fear; yet, they can also become the source of fear if you are afraid of what lies underneath.

Regardless of where you allow a bridge to take you, you will never get there if you stay only on one side. In order for that bridge to help you get to where you’re going, you must cross it. You must take the first step toward that destiny. It is a decision that can change your life. It is a choice only you can choose.

bridge pic2

There are many bridges, within my own life,  which have led me closer to my purpose and my calling: bridges of friendship, bridges of “blood, sweat and tears,” and bridges of the unknown. Every bridge that I have chosen to cross has taught me something and has helped me to grow.

The ones which have taught me the most are the ones that helped me walk above pain in my life. There have been friendships which bridged the gap between moments of loneliness and utter joy. There have been bridges of solitude which bridged the gap between insanity and complete peace. There have been bridges of faith beyond which the future was unknown, but I had to keep walking to receive the healing, strength and joy on the other side. There have also been moments of clear of decision which bridged the gap between regret-filled failure and wonderful heart-felt success. These are the bridges that have propelled me toward a greater destiny. These are the pillars upon which I stand. Had I not crossed over, I would have been left weak, broken and desolate.

When faced with the choice to cross a new “bridge,” the best thing to assist in the decision is to read the road signs prior to it. If are were no signs, find someone who’s gone that way before, and listen to what they’ve learned., and many times, the path to the bridge can give a great indication as to where it is headed. However, there are some times when it’s just going to take a lot of prayer and a whole lot of faith to know this is the right direction to take.

bridge pic

Have you had to cross any bridges lately? What have you learned in the process?bridge pic3

 

*Note: I did take these pics, nor do I own or possess them. Simple Google images search brought them.

A Different Thanksgiving

/ The WheatandTares / 1 Comment
IMG_4855-0Thanksgiving is so different for so many this time of year…
Some have great big family gatherings with homemade dishes, roasted turkey and giblet gravy… Some have smaller gatherings with a few homemade foods and a catered meal…Others gather two by two and cook something meaningful…and still others make reservations or simply stand in line to have their meal served to them on this glorious day of Thanksgiving.
It doesn’t really matter how you celebrate, or even for some, if you actually commemorate the day with a fulfilling meal. There are so many who are simply grateful for the roof over their head, the clothes on their back or the plain fact they finally have a day off after too many weeks of overtime. There is no right or wrong way to observe the day. There are no set rules that each person must follow. I believe what matters most is realizing your heart is full of thanksgiving for what you have, and even sometimes, for what you have not.
Some will be thankful for their family, their friends and the food that has been placed before them, and I am definitely appreciative of all that I have been given. I am so grateful for a wonderful husband, two incredible boys, a great extended family, church family and new home. I had so much fun this past week, as we traveled to my hometown to celebrate the holiday with my 86 year old grandmother, and I got to see so many relatives whom I only see once every couple of years. We made memories of which I will cherish for years to come.
I am so overwhelmed by the many blessings God has given me even within the past few months and year, but I think today, I might even be thankful for those things which I don’t have…
Like…
Hatred, anger, and strife…rebellion, confusion and apathy within my heart.
A husband who doesn’t love this world more than he loves Jesus nor does he love another woman more than he loves me.
Children who don’t respond to me with revulsion, malice or bitterness.
A family who doesn’t return ill will for the love I send.
A church who doesn’t worship the standards of this world above their God.
A home that doesn’t cause me to shiver in the cold of loneliness or the heat of revenge.
And a God Who doesn’t demand my works above my relationship to Him nor my chants of submission above my love for Him.
All in all, I’d say I have many things for which I can be thankful today, and maybe, even a few more for which I can be thankful to be without.

Thessalonians 5:18, “In everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.

…Being thankful for those things we don’t have can bring our Thanksgiving into a whole new perspective, now can’t it? 😉

Happy Thanksgiving!

/ The WheatandTares

  
I hope you each have a very blessed Thanksgiving today! 

Enjoy being with family and friends, and remember to be thankful for the things you have and the people who mean so much!! 😊

If you don’t have family or friends to be with today, I pray you are able to reach to someone who may be as lonely, or lonelier, than you on this holiday of gathering. There are so many hurting, desolate and abandoned souls just longing for someone to say, “hello,” so many who long to be welcomed and included. 

Enjoy this day doing something memorable and full of a grateful heart. 😊

*I do not own not possess this picture. Found by simple Google search: http://nampalibrary.org/library-will-be-closed-the-26th-and-27th-for-thanksgiving/ *

The Christmas List

/ The WheatandTares

  
Thanksgiving is next week. Black Friday is right after that. Christmas is only 38 days away. We will usher in the New Year in just 45 days…that’s about the average amount of time you take to close on a house. There will be endless get togethers, shopping trips, holiday parties and cards to be sent between now and then…Life can get so busy at this time of year!

 
I feel like more and more, time just speeds up the closer we get to the end of the year. There are so many things I want to do, especially for the holidays, with my family and friends. I can feel my agenda of events starting to take over and consume my calendar. If I try to hold tightly to the time, like sand in an hour glass, it simply starts trickling through my fingers. There’s simply not enough time. 

No, wait, there’s no less time than there was 20-30 years ago. There’s no less hours in my day today than there were last year or the year before. Time hasn’t changed, my calendar has, my priorities have. Now, I have a husband, two lively boys, a growing church family and many more added responsibilities than I did those 20-30 years ago, when all I had to worry about was getting home on time for curfew, getting the next 5-page paper done, or what I planned to wear for a night out with friends. 

Yes, there are more things required of me in this day and time; however, these things should not distract me from those things which are of high importance in my life before the holiday season hits. My list may adjust some, but those top 3-5 things shouldn’t alter simply because I have added desires and agendas during Christmas time. 

My list may not be exactly like yours, and, honestly, if it were, I might wonder why…we have different family dynamics; we live different lives. Yet, we all have a purpose, and we all commitments we have made. We must set our priorities in such a way that we keep those important things, and those important people, at the top. 

Even during this very busy season, my God, my family, and our staff and church family are the most important things on that list. These things don’t change, simply, because it’s a new season, a more hectic time. These things can’t take a backseat simply because I’d like to add a few more items to my list. I simply have to become more disciplined and deliberate in my approach to them. I have to become more aware of my intentions, my agendas and my follow through, and sometimes, I have to learn to say no to something I’d like to do “on a whim” to stay consistent in doing something that I’ve made a commitment to do. 

Sometimes, our family can be placed on hold simply because we’re working more hours to accommodate the Christmas wish list, when, maybe, we just need to get back to the simpler things of life. Sometimes, our commitments can be delayed simply because we had an act of spontaneity due to the holiday season, when it would have been better to stay consistent in those promises we once made. Sometimes, we need to hold onto those things (or people) of tradition and value and not forsake them for “the newest and the brightest” things found to be on the shelf. This isn’t going to be true for everyone, and there will be endless variables to this equation; however, if we are truly honest with that face that stares back at us in the mirroe, we know when we’ve let a priority slip by the wayside. We know when we’ve excuses away a commitment we should’ve held dear. 

This holiday season, let’s make a point to remember the things that are on top of the list; those things of importance and meaning. It doesn’t mean we can enjoy the fun events of the holiday, and it doesn’t mean we have to miss out on something new and fun to do, but let’s not forsake one to grasp hold of another! Let’s learn to balance and prioritize on the important once so that we can maximize our efforts! 😊

A King’s Gift

/ The WheatandTares

Mephibosheth…what a name. He was crippled in both feet, too…his nurse had dropped him as a child…and his Daddy and Grandaddy had been killed in battle…and he was born to royalty, but his kingship had been taken away, because a new king had been crowned. By law, he could be killed by that new king. He just wanted to be left alone to die in his misery…but the new king had called upon him. 

I wonder what he was thinking when he got that message. I wonder what he thought of his life. What hardship he had endured. What tragedy he had survived…I don’t think he was thriving in his current life. I don’t think he was too excited about this call either. He had to receive the call…and he had to answer; after all, it was the King. 

If it were me, I think I might just tell that messenger, “Will you just kill me now?? I mean, really. I’m crippled. I’m broke. I have no family. I have no heritage. I have no inheritance, and now, the very one who’s taken my inheritance away from me is calling for me to come to him…probably to kill me! What more do you want from me? Can’t you just leave well enough alone?!” What a terrible lot in life. 

He followed through with the request. He went to see the king. Could you imagine his anguish as he entered the Kings’ courts? Could you imagine his resolution, probably, to just take his death sentence and be done with this sorry life he’d been handed? In your mind, can you see him??

Now, could you imagine his relief when King David told his servants to clothe him in the finest robes and seat him at his personal table for a fine dinner? That’s what happened! He was seated at the king’s table to eat of the king’s meal, and then, he was welcomed in to live at the king’s palace for the rest of his days! 

You see, before he died, his father had been best friends with this king. This king grieved over losing his best friend. This king longed to show kindness to his best friends’ household, and Mephibosheth was the only one left. 

Oh, what relief. Oh, what utter JOY!! Could you imagine the turn of events? To be given such a gift, I would be elated! To be given such grace, I would be ecstatic!! I would be overjoyed! 

Did you know, you and I can actually receive such a gift??

It may not be in an earthly kingdom, but it is in a heavenly one. Here on this earth, you and I are destined for a life of sin and an eternity of hell, but we have a Father in heaven who sent His Son to die for us, to forgive us our sins, and if we’ll just accept His invitation, He promises to give us an eternity of heaven!

What an incredible story…what an incredible ending…it’s a true one,* by the way…

What an incredible opportunity for you and me… How about it? Will you accept the invitation today? All you have to do is believe. 

*2 Samuel 9:1-9 
*John 3:16-17, “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him.”

Leave Only Footprints

/ The WheatandTares / 2 Comments

I’m sure you’ve seen one of these signs, either while in the woods, going on a trail, or shown to you by those in authority who want to keep it all in nature…   

  
I believe this can be a good parenting model as well. Sometimes, we take a lot of pictures, but hopefully we are leaving the footprints of our legacy on the lives of our children. 

It is so true. We leave footprints regardless of our attempts not to. If we will accept this fate early on, I think we can make even more deliberate attempts to make a deeper impact on our children’s hearts. They are watching. They see who we are when we think no one is looking. They hear us even when we are whispering…sometimes, even more so in those moments. Our character plays a vital role in their lives; yet, it is only for a few fleeting moments. They soon find their own way, do their own things, and, for good or bad, the footprints we leave now will effect who they become. 

This truth isn’t only for our birth children alone. There is a host of generations quickly coming behind us. What will we leave them? What will we say? Will we win them, or will we toss them away, believing they weren’t worthy of our cause? Those stepping forward will come with or without us. They will keep marching forward. Time does not stop simply because we wish it to. If we refuse to lead them, someone else will, and then, we will be the ones to weep.

It is our choosing. It is within our grasp; yet, it is just like a lifeline thrown to the drowning. If we don’t take hold, the rescue can be lost, and death will eventually come. We must decide who, when, how, and we must do it quickly. If we turn away, they will keep advancing with their drum beat deafening our ears. We may be able to hold the line, or we may just be trampled under their feet. 

“Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path…Your testimonies I have taken as a heritage forever, for they are the rejoicing of my heart. I have inclined my heart to perform Your statutes forever, to the very end.” Psalm 119:105, 111 & 112

*Note: I do not own nor possess this picture. Simply found through google images.