chaos

Just say, “NO!”

/ The WheatandTares / 7 Comments

SOMETIMES, we just need to learn to say, “NO!”

We heard this statement many times on television through those anti-drug commercials of the 80’s. We heard it month after month, encouraging all to not give into the enticing voices of culture and drug dealers who would lie and say, “Just a little won’t hurt you!”

Yet, we seem to have moved further and further from the totality of this sentiment as we’ve become a “tolerant society” that seems more bent on pushing one agenda or another rather than actually saying, “No” to many things to which we need. We seem to have risen to a new level of “tolerance” where every cultural opinion must be agreed to, or we risk being called a racist, fascist or just simply a bigot. As I’ve stated before, just because I disagree with you does not mean I hate you.

I disagree with my husband at times; yet, he is my best friend, my confidante and my love. I disagree with my children, especially when their decisions will put them in dangerous situations; yet, I love them so much, I’d lay my life down for them. My loyalty may not run as deep for you or for those with whom I disagree and do not know personally, but it does not mean I harbor hate within my heart simply because of my disagreement.

Yet, because of my own experiences, life choices and personal convictions, you and I may not agree on all things. Ya know what? That is completely ok! You may live your life quite differently than mine, and that’s ok, too. That’s actually part of living, and that part of being an individual and having your own choices.

Being of different opinions is okay, too. However, when those opinions begin infringing upon someone else’s personal wellbeing, there should be a wake up call. When those agendas or disagreements come with an expectation of agreement and are followed with a demand of approval or a threat of consequences if not adhered, then, a separation and distance should be put into place for those involved.

Sometimes, we just need to find the courage to say, “No,” and stick to our decision. Sometimes, we need to find our backbone and settle into the boundaries we have set for a dangerous relationship or a rebellious child or a consistently wounding acquaintance and resolve to leave it there. Sometimes, we need to cut the ties with that toxic person in our life with whom only turmoil and chaos resides.

Sometimes, for our own sanity, peace of mind and personal wellbeing, we must look at the “appointment book” of our life and reply to their request,

“No, Thursday’s out. … Yeah, Friday’s out, too. … How about never – is never good for you?”

Sometimes You Just Have to Walk

/ The WheatandTares

Yeah, you heard me right. There are times in your life when the best thing you can do is walk. Walk away from the anger. Walk away from the pain. Walk away from the confusion and strife. Walk away from all the drama that one person is bringing into your life again. And again. And again.

Now, there’s a whole blog I can write on endurance and perseverance and determination not to quit when the going gets tough. In fact, I’ve written those, and this post doesn’t change that. I am, also by no means, giving you permission to walk out on your spouse, your kids or your job. Use some common sense, and don’t try to justify your own desire for freedom from the commitments you’ve made. 😉

However, there is something to be said about getting drama out of your life. Over the years, I have watched too many people simply stay put in the midst of drama that they were never meant to be. There are people in this world who live their lives from one crazy crisis to the next, and they live with the expectations that you should live it with them. No, you should not.

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If you are an adult, and you are surrounded by drama that someone else is creating, ask yourself, “WHY?” Why is the drama going on, and why do you feel you have to be a part of it? If it doesn’t concern you, why are you still there? If it does concern you, is it legit yours to own, or is it simply stupid drama drummed up by this other person?

Answer that “Why?” Do you need something from that person? Do you feel obligated to him or her? Do you feel an expectation to stay? (Again, why??) Do you gain some sort of self affirmation when you are in the midst of their drama? Do you simply need to feel needed?

Answer the “Why?,” and I promise you, you’ll realize you can walk away from this needless drama (or you’ll recognize your own fleshly desire for it). Drama causes strife. It causes unrest. It causes chaos and disorder. It can even cause health issues and sickness. It is not good. Walk away. Avoid it at all cost.

Sometimes, true love is shown by no longer being a crutch, an enabler or a punching bag for someone else who refuses to grow up and be somebody. Sometimes, you have to fight for who you are to become, and sometimes, that fight is walking away from needless drama in order to find and sustain the peace and clarity you need to live your life as it should be.

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Where Do You Go In The Storm?

/ The WheatandTares

These past few weeks, we have been reeling from the recent storms and natural disasters all across our nation. There have been hurricanes, floods, fires, tornadoes, and various fallouts because of these natural, yet horrific, occurrences. So many have been evacuated, displaced, overwhelmed and even killed in the process. It can leave a soul weary and weathered from it all.

Yesterday being 9/11, reminds me of all the turmoil and heartache that can brought in an instant. It reminds me of the precious lives that were lost and the heroes who spent their last dying breath to save another.

It causes my heart to ponder the simple question, “Where do you go when the storms roll in?” Some hunker down and ride out the winds and the waves. Some run, drive away, flee from the danger that blows in, and still others try to go back and forth, running in wisdom or fear, only to find themselves anchoring back in for the long haul of destruction, evaluation, rebuilding and praying the restructure will hold. Still others are lost for every in the disasters and debris that come tumbling down.

Where are you in the midst of a storm? How do you survive it? What or who is your anchor? Without true security and a solid anchor that holds, a ship will be beaten and worn by the mighty winds. Without a firm foundation and support measures put in place, a house will surely fall when the grounds shake. Without a firm grip on Truth and love, the storms of life will only bring destruction and heartache to your very soul.

Yet, there is Hope. There is a better way to survive the storms of life that wreak havoc on the heart and mind. Jesus is the only Hope we need. His grace is sufficient for every storm. His mercy will survive through every disaster. His love will cover you and comfort you through whatever destruction might come.

If you don’t know Him today, why not talk to Him now? Why not reach out your hand to Him and let Him carry you through? He loves you and longs to cover you and shelter your heart today.

Debris Clean-up

/ The WheatandTares / 3 Comments

Terrible storms and natural disasters have wreaked havoc across our nation the past few months. Hurricanes, tornados, floods and even earthquakes. When storms like this hit land, there are incredible clean up projects that have to be set in place to get things back to normal. If the debris is left, it can cause delays, confusion, more damage and even injuries or death. Trees have to be cleared, power lines have to be restored, roads repaired, homes and bridges rebuilt. The restoration process can take a while, but it must be done if the people desire to live again. 

Storms in our lives will bring lots of debris, too. Anger, bitterness, rage, fear, pain, brokenness. Just as the disaster crews have to clean up the debris from physical storms, we must clean up the debris in our own hearts and minds from crisis that happen in our lives. 

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Maybe it’s a new mindset we need. Maybe it’s forgiveness we have to give. Maybe it’s self control we have to learn. Maybe it’s even time we have to wait for a wound to heal. If the debris isn’t cleared, it can often cause even more damage, not only to ourselves but, eventually, to all those around us. Whatever the debris is, if we want to be whole, and we want to live again, we must clean it out. 

“Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. Do not cast me away from Your presence, and do not take Your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of Your salvation, and uphold me by Your generous Spirit.” Psalm 52:10-12

The great advantage we have is we don’t have to do this alone! Jesus is always waiting for us to call on His name. He is right there longing to soothe our weary soul and mend our broken heart. All we have to do is call on His name. All we have to do is lean on Him, and He will pick us up and carry us through! He will help us clear the debris and learn to live whole again. 

The neat thing that also happens when this is done, we can share our story with others, and their lives will be impacted and changed as well! “Then I will teach transgressors Your ways, And sinners shall be converted to You.” Psalm 52:13 When this happens, not only are our lives cleaned up and changed, but those with whom we’ve shared our story are changed. Then, they begin to share, it starts a domino effect on the world around us! How exciting would it be to see many come to know Him because of our simple clean up?!

“This is good, and pleases God our Savior, who wants all people to be saved and to come to a knowledge of the truth.” 1 Timothy 2:3-4