We heard this statement many times on television through those anti-drug commercials of the 80’s. We heard it month after month, encouraging all to not give into the enticing voices of culture and drug dealers who would lie and say, “Just a little won’t hurt you!”
Yet, we seem to have moved further and further from the totality of this sentiment as we’ve become a “tolerant society” that seems more bent on pushing one agenda or another rather than actually saying, “No” to many things to which we need. We seem to have risen to a new level of “tolerance” where every cultural opinion must be agreed to, or we risk being called a racist, fascist or just simply a bigot. As I’ve stated before, just because I disagree with you does not mean I hate you.
I disagree with my husband at times; yet, he is my best friend, my confidante and my love. I disagree with my children, especially when their decisions will put them in dangerous situations; yet, I love them so much, I’d lay my life down for them. My loyalty may not run as deep for you or for those with whom I disagree and do not know personally, but it does not mean I harbor hate within my heart simply because of my disagreement.
Yet, because of my own experiences, life choices and personal convictions, you and I may not agree on all things. Ya know what? That is completely ok! You may live your life quite differently than mine, and that’s ok, too. That’s actually part of living, and that part of being an individual and having your own choices.
Being of different opinions is okay, too. However, when those opinions begin infringing upon someone else’s personal wellbeing, there should be a wake up call. When those agendas or disagreements come with an expectation of agreement and are followed with a demand of approval or a threat of consequences if not adhered, then, a separation and distance should be put into place for those involved.
Sometimes, we just need to find the courage to say, “No,” and stick to our decision. Sometimes, we need to find our backbone and settle into the boundaries we have set for a dangerous relationship or a rebellious child or a consistently wounding acquaintance and resolve to leave it there. Sometimes, we need to cut the ties with that toxic person in our life with whom only turmoil and chaos resides.
Sometimes, for our own sanity, peace of mind and personal wellbeing, we must look at the “appointment book” of our life and reply to their request,
“No, Thursday’s out. … Yeah, Friday’s out, too. … How about never – is never good for you?”
There is so much in the news these days about this group hating that group, those people wanting to wound or even kill the people in another “club,” and this one and that one can’t speak, or it’s considered hate speech. Now, please note, I am NOT about to go off on a political tirade, or a politically correct debate, nor am I even about to discuss my own opinions and standards. That’s not what this post will be about.
I just want to say something, and I want to make it eternally clear: Just because I disagree with you DOES NOT mean I hate you!! Ok, I’m glad I got that off my chest. I almost put the whole sentence in all caps, but I don’t want you thinking I’m shouting at you; even though, I would like to shout this from the rooftops.
Source: pinterest.com
I am so tired of the false allegations from so many in today’s society who scream “hate speech” when you simply disagree with what someone else is doing or how they are acting. I know there are those who wear ‘the same hats’ as I do, and they may have really meant for their words to be filled with hatred, and this has paved a hard road ahead for me. Yet, do you have to punish every good person with every nut case?
Yes, I am a white, middle class, conservative, American, Christian woman, and I am very proud of my God, my country and my family. I will defend these and stand by these until the end, but that does not mean that I hate the next person simply because he or she disagrees with me, because he is of a different race, because she is of a different political persuasion, or because he has more or less money than I do. Just because we are different doesn’t mean we can’t live civil. It may mean we agree not to discuss our differences all the time, especially if one or both parties can’t handle too much. It may mean we voice our beliefs with truth and confidence, but give some space for others to do so. That’s called living. That’s called being an individual. … or at least, it used to be.
Do I believe my way is the right way? This may come as a shock to you; so, wait for it… NO! Do I believe the way of my God, the Creator of this universe, the Savior of my soul, is the right and true, very best way to live? YES! Am I going to share my faith, hoping you find the same unconditional love, unspeakable joy, and unfathomable peace I have? YES!
This does not mean I hate you when I disagree with what you are doing or how you are living. When I state my standards differently than you, it doesn’t make me better than you nor does it make you better than me. When I see things differently, it simply means I want to see better for you.
The whole new motto trend of “live and let live” bothers me, in that, if we simply let those around us live as they choose, and we live as we choose, with no moral authority guiding us, we all will, eventually, encounter dangers that could have been avoided, or we will begin infringing upon another with the “new found freedom” we believe we have. This becomes an unfair and dangerous approach for all involved.
Do you realize that confrontation is the highest form of love?
When my friends are doing something that I can see might harm them, I try to tell them the danger ahead. It may not change what they think, but I am responsible for speaking up. If my kids are playing in the street, and a car is coming around the corner, I’m going to run and holler for them to get out of the street, not because I’m trying to display my hatred toward them, but because I am trying to prevent them from being killed! If my colleagues are standing too close to the cliff when we’re hiking, I might say, “Hey, that slope is real slippery. You might want to be careful.” If I don’t speak up to any of these situations, and one of them gets killed, I am partially responsible, because I could have helped them remain among the living!!
I will speak up, because I care enough about their well being to confront them. This confrontation doesn’t always have to be loud, abrupt or even mean, but it does have to be truthful. It does have to be authentic, and it does have to be spoken from a heart that is genuinely concerned and filled with love.
Does that mean I’ll never mess up in my confrontations? Does that mean I will never get passionate about my beliefs and debate why I am standing by those beliefs? No. As I stated earlier, I have several high priorities in my life, and I will defend these. I will hold true to those things I cherish but that still doesn’t mean I am filled with hate.
Let me put this on a more personal level…My sons are 10 and 14 years old, and there have been times when I have had to confront them for their actions that had brought harm or pain in some situation; yet, when I spoke to them, even if I was upset and passionate about what I had to say, I never once hated them! I confront, because I love them, and I want to help them get to a better place in life. Christ did this very thing on so many occasions. He always confronts those He loves, and I am called to be more like Him and so much less like me.
So, if you and I ever disagree on a subject, especially if we have forged a friendship before this given time, please know my speaking up is never out of dislike of you as a person. If I love you, I pray I will always have the courage to confront you, and my hope is you would care enough to do the same. 💗
My journey didn’t stop with mere time travel or writing; it led me to become one of the most sought-after empaths, a soulful psychic who reads the hidden depths of the human spirit. I’ve been blessed—or perhaps burdened—with an ability that allows me to feel the emotions of people from every corner of time.
I am a licensed psychologist based in Greece. My love for housekeeping has inspired me to create this blog about home management and family relationships. I hope you enjoy reading as much as I enjoyed writing!
Dedicated to movie nerdom, nostalgia, and escape. In the late 90s, I worked at Blockbuster Video where they let me take home two free movies a day. I caught up on the classics and reviewed theatrical releases for Denver 'burbs newspapers and magazines. Today, while raising two young, beautiful daughters with my amazing wife, I look forward to anything rated R and not Bluey. Comments and dialogue encouraged!
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