Happy Valentine’s Day

IMG_9457 As I sat in a memorial today to celebrate the homecoming of a life well lived, I thought about love, life, faith and death. I thought about the wife of the deceased who had been married for 53 years. I thought of the precious lady who sat beside me who, just a few short months ago, had said goodbye to her husband after so many years of loving each other. I thought of the young man I would see just a few minutes later, who just lost his wife to an organ transplant failure. Surrounded by so much grief, I wondered how it could possibly be Valentine’s Day today.

So many getting ready for their ‘hot dates’ tonight. Others bragging about all the candy, cards and roses they had received. My husband and myself exchanging our love just a few hours before, yet, waiting to truly celebrate until tomorrow because of all that we were a part of today. I thought of those who grieve today. I thought of those who are heartbroken, abused, deserted, lost and alone. It’s not such a heart-filled, sunshiny day for those. What do we say to them?

What do we say when our hearts are so filled with joy, excitement and laughter? What do we do when their grief seems to cast a shadow on our smile? Do we tell them just to “Get over it…tomorrow will be brighter…you’ll simply feel better later on…?” Are we really that shallow to forget how it feels to have a shattered dream and an empty heart? Are we really that naive not to know? What are we to do?

As I sat beside my widowed friend, and as I said goodbye to my other friend’s man, my heart broke for their brokenness. My eyes shed tears as they shed. My day was just a little more gray as I encountered my third friend’s grief in saying goodbye to her daughter-in-law and comforting her weeping son. Yet, as I walked away to go have a Valentine’s lunch with my little family, I breathed the air in deeply and thanked my Father above for these moments, not just the joys of my men but, as well, the pains of my friends. These times when I truly see reality. These moments when authenticity, vulnerability and honesty are raw and unedited, exposing the tender hearts within.

For, it is in moments like these when we grow a little wiser. In these hours, we learn to love a little deeper and let our trust become more secure. If it weren’t for the hard places in life, we would never learn where our faith truly lies. We’d never realize the value of a friend, the depth of love in our family, the importance in a given moment. It is said, “There is more wisdom in the house of mourning than in the house of laughter” (Paraphrased, Ecclesiastes 7:2). As my heart broke again and again for my friends, it caused me to appreciate, even more, the later moments with my men. It caused me to be keenly aware of my husband’s handsome smile, my JMan’s innocent laughter, and the love behind JGrizz’s witty remark, “Of course, I love you. It’s Valentine’s Day, isn’t it?” 😉 These precious occasions made me live life a little fuller.

So, as this Valentine’s Day is coming to an end, maybe you’ve spent a wonderful day with your love(s), maybe your dealing with a broken heart from a love that’s been lost, or maybe you’ve recently had to say a heart wrenched goodbye as your love entered eternity. Maybe this day just doesn’t seem as cheer-filled as it once had been, but no matter the circumstance in which you find yourself tonight, I pray you will hold tight the love you have, the joy you once had and the memories you’ve made along the way. I pray you’ll look toward the future and know He is still in control. Look forward and see that there’s still hope. I pray you hold all theses things close to your heart and realize there’s a heavenly Father above who’s looking down and sending you His eternal, unconditional love. YOU are the object of His affection tonight. He truly loves you! His love for is beyond your very hopes and dreams. His love for you died that you might live. ❤

“For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him.” John 3:16-17

Draw Nigh To Him

Life is so very, very seared;

Be sure not to let it pass you on by.

Jesus promised that He would always be near,

But first, unto Him, you must draw nigh.

His love for you is very, very deep;

Sometimes, it can almost seem intoxicating.

Yet, He is such a gentleman, merciful and meek;

His love is never made to be suffocating.

This world is so very, very impure;

It will always turn your ’round and ’round.

He longs to give you a hope and a future;

He wants to free you from these chains you are bound.

His time is so very, very uncertain;

We cannot know the hour or the day.

Turn to Him before they draw a curtain;

Surrender your heart or be eternally swayed.

Penned – MG – 10/31/03

Fog & Hugs

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JGrizz said the other day, “Ya know, mom, fog is like a great big hug…like a great big hug from God.” As I looked out across the water, with the fog hovering like a blanket, I couldn’t deny the closeness, the feeling of being embraced by the fuzzy white haze. Then I turned my thoughts toward heaven and thought of how much He loves us, and how much he blesses us everyday, even in the smallest things, just to show us He cares.

If we will but open our eyes to see, we will realize He sends little “hugs and kisses” from heaven all throughout the days, weeks and even years of our lives. It may be in the gentle smile of your newborn babe as he looks at you with his innocent love. It may be in the beautiful sunrise breaking through the trees, sending a tense warm to your face. It may be in the joyful giggles of your little girl who wants ‘just one more’ push on the swing. It might even be in the quiet reflection of your teenage son as He ponders over the fog settling upon the waters and believing God has sent him a hug.

We drove across a dam early one morning, and it was so foggy, I could hardly see to drive. All of a sudden, I saw a rainbow, as my eyes followed its path, I realized that we were going to drive right through the rainbow, almost as if it were a tunnel! It as one of the neatest things I’ve ever seen! (In the last pic below, but wasn’t real clear on the picture). Going through, I had this thought, “Aw, thanks God! You sure know how to make a girl feel loved and blessed!”

He sends us visual messages through so many venues. All we have to do is step back, take a deep breath and really see Him. Jeremiah 29:13 says, “You will seek Me and find Me when you seek Me with all your heart.” It’s true, and He doesn’t hide when we seek Him. He always keeps His promises. All we have to do is look for Him.

So, next time it’s foggy, don’t get scared or annoyed, just wk outside for a moment; let it surround you, and receive your great big hug from God. 🙂

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The Depth of Your Love

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The trees sway to sing of Your praise.

The birds fly amidst Your grace.

The clouds swirl and form under Your glory.

Even the smallest weed stretches up to honor Your name.

Your love forever amazes my inmost being.

Your admiration for this land and its creatures.

You created us for Your worship and exaltation,

And yet, our selfishness wars against Your very nature.

The depth of Your grace, my soul cannot fathom. 

The expanse of Your forgiveness, my heart can’t comprehend.

The height of Your patience, my mind cannot see.

Even this inward flesh, I seem unable to bend.

Oh God, consume this humanness of which I live.

Burn a fire inside by Your holiness and by Your grace.

Melt away all the pride, the hatred and the insolence.

Even then, can I possibly hope to look upon Your face?

Penned – MG – 4/25/01

You Still Love Me

I fail You time and time again
I bite
I claw
I fight my way to the win
And I continue to fail to see
What it is You’re showing me

You still love me

I nail you there over and over again
I hate
I lust
I struggle to succeed in the sin
And I constantly miss the target
What You’re urging me to forget

You still love me

I crucify the very One who gives me life
I deny the Son who has broken my strife
I refuse comfort, protection, a guide
For the very sake of my own pride

You still love me

You loved me before time began
You will love me still until time stands
Your grace finds me in the depths
Your mercy reaches me in the rock clef

You still love me

Why?

My soul cries

You are My child

My heart cannot deny

You still love me

Penned – MG – 1/15/15

A Season For Tears…A Season For Cheer

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Yesterday, I was so emotional all day, I felt I had to hold back the tears with all my might. It all began when I read a Facebook status update from a friend and relative who has lost her grandmother and grandfather within almost a month of each other and how she is struggling with the grief while trying to maintain a cheerful home for her children during the holidays. The feelings just washed over me like a tidal wave of how much I miss my own grandfather, even though, he’s been gone for over 12 years now. So much changed within my family after his death, and without him here, it will never be the same. Christmas has never been the same without him.

Several times throughout the day, I thought of him, and I began thinking of so many who have lost a mom, a dad, a child, or another loved one during this past year and even those who have lost someone during the past several years. I, also, thought of so many families I know who are facing divorce, or have already divorced, and even though their significant other hasn’t died physically, their love has died, and that is as painful as the reality of death. Losing a precious family member or friend makes the holidays a little tougher to handle. It makes the cheer and the joy of the season seem a little less festive, and sometimes, it makes it a lot less festive, maybe not even worth celebrating at all. Often, losing a loved one, especially those who filled such a huge part of our heart and our home, makes the Christmas season almost unbearable. Everyone else is cheerful, excited and filled with joy for all the wonderful things that bring the love of Christmas, and our world has just turned a little more gray from the loss of color with which our loved one took away.

If you are one whose world is a little more gray today, there is hope! It’s not a fairy tale, and it’s not a fallacy. It’s not a plastic mask which you wear just to convince your family that you’re okay. It’s, also, not a “snap of the finger and you’re perfect” solution, and it’s not a formula nor is it a potion or a thought. It’s not even an “it.” It’s a person, a Messiah, a Savior and a King.

His name is Jesus. He can comfort your heart and encourage your soul. He can give you peace which surpasses understanding. He can consume your mind with good thoughts, and He can give you a reason to get up one more day. He is HOPE. He is LOVE. He is LIFE, and He can give you all this and more. All you have to do is call on His name, and He will answer. He will wrap you in His arms of love, and He will give you purpose again. All you have to do is just trust Him.

For all of us who have learned to cope with the deep scars of loss, and for those who have yet to experience this heart-wrenching pain, maybe we can be a little kinder to those who are hurting this Christmas season. Maybe we can be a little more attentive to those who may not feel as festive as we expect them to be. Maybe we can share a little more love, a little more encouragement, a little more hope. Those of us who have found this One Hope who helps us survive through the darkest of nights, we must share Him with those around us. We must share this Hope with a hurting and desperate world. We must share why our Christmas is so Merry.

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“For to us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders. And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.”  Isaiah 9:6

 

Train Them Up

The Bible says, “Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” Proverbs 22:6. As we strive daily to teach our children strong values and Godly principles, I often wonder how we’re doing. Dealing with the ever shifting cultural standards, the pressures from the outside that scream, “You’re too old fashion!” “You’re intolerant!” “You’re behind the times,” I am tempted, almost daily, to question my motives, intentions and purpose for setting these “rules,” these boundaries, these standards by which we live. Having a young teen in our home, one who is striving to find himself, to determine his own faith, ‘not that of mom and dad,’ and to become the man he so longs to be, it causes me, at times, to pause, to ponder, to almost take a poll to see if I’m doing right by him, if I’m teaching him these things for his own good or for mine.
Good parenting doesn’t come easy. Good parenting isn’t a popularity contest. It isn’t a survey we take to see who approves and who doesn’t. Good parenting takes faithfulness to the One who created it. It takes a lot of love, mercy and grace. Good parenting takes tenacity to carry on, to uphold your standards and to stick to your convictions, even when you’re all alone and “nobody else is doing it!”
The best kind of parent has the faith to remain a boundary while all others run away in fear of ridicule. The best kind of parent stands with courage in the face of rejection and loneliness. The best kind of parent has also learned when to say, “I’m sorry. I was wrong,” even when it hurts their pride to do so. The best kind of parent loves beyond the failings, keeps believing beyond the mishaps and keeps cheering beyond the cold winds of adversity. The best kind of parent knows when to push forward and when to pause and let them breathe. Lastly, the best kind of parent keeps loving when the door to their child’s heart has been slammed shut, and it appears he/she will never come back home.
Good parenting skills don’t come easy. It’s not a game in which you roll the dice and see if you hit the jackpot. No, good parenting takes faith. It takes determination. It takes a strong heart to love deep and remain true. It takes a strong mind to think the unthinkable, to plan for the unpredictable and to dream the unimaginable. It takes humility, love and grace for success to come, and, sometimes, that success may not be realized for almost a lifetime.
In this one thing you can rest assured, His Word does not fail. His promises are true. You train that child to follow Him, they will know the way home. Yes, it will have to be their choosing; He will never force their hand. He will never demand their love, but He will be ever present, ever drawing them with His love that is unconditional, His love that never fails.
So, keep the faith, Mom. Hold up that standard, Dad. Remain true to the One who called you to this purpose. You can do this! You can survive! Those little hearts are counting on you. They need your love. They need your guidance. They need your boundaries that protect them from the evil outside. They need your standards that protect them from themselves. Keep the faith! You only have a few years to fight this battle for the souls of the next generation. Don’t give up. Don’t give in, and never let them see you cower in fear. You were made for this. This is your destiny. Win!

…These are the moments when my heart is reassured that we are on the right path…

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His dream is to be a Christian Rapper…so, we work hard to help him realize his dreams even while he is still young…

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At bedtime, we find him like this more often than not… (He’s fallen asleep reading his Action Bible.)

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At a summer youth camp, I looked up and saw him immersed in worship…

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On top of the mountain, he said, “Mom, take this picture. I want to post it to [social media] and talk about pondering things of life and faith…”

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I told them I’d like to get a picture of them with the mountains behind…
(Note: I didn’t ask them to “huddle up,” but they did.)

…Parents, be encouraged today. Sometimes, it’s the little things that we fail to notice, and sometimes, those are the very things that matter the most! 🙂

Let Me Be Found True

Oh, Lord, how do I love thee?

Let me count not the ways

 

I speak of You in public grace

Yet, ignore You in the secret place

I praise You when it’s convenient

But neglect You when it’s intimate

I look to You when I remember and when I’m in need

However, forget You when my schedule is in the lead

 

Oh, Father, please forgive me from this wretched sin

Cleanse my heart and mind from within

Let me not be a person of works alone

And have not a single seed yet to be sown

Change me from this life of chaos and pride

Transform my soul to one in which You may abide

I give You my life, my heart and my breath

I surrender my dreams, my future, my death

 

Oh, my King, how do I love thee?

I pray You can count the ways

 

I desire to serve you in all my ambitions

Yet, we all have fallen short of Your suppositions

I long for the day when our eyes shall finally meet

But I fear for Your glory burns so awfully deep

I yearn to be found worthy, righteous and true

However, You spoke of many by whom Your words would be doomed

 

Oh, Yahweh, please conform my plans to Your ways

Mold me, make me into Your earthen vessel of clay

Redirect my words, my thoughts, my actions and deeds

Set anew my wants and reconstruct them to Your needs

I give You my life, my heart and my breath

I surrender my dreams, my future and my death

 

Penned – MG – 6/30/03

You Are the Lord of Me

Lord, You are my life line

You keep my heart beating

You keep my lungs breathing

You keep my mind believing

Lord, You are my stability

You keep me full of love

You keep me full of joy

You keep me full of hope

 

Lord, You are my refuge

You keep me safe from trouble

You keep me safe through trials

You keep me safe in tribulations

Lord, You are my future

You keep my goals in view

You keep my visions renewed

You keep my dreams alive

 

Lord, You are what I hope to become

I thank You, Father, with all of me

I love You, my God, Almighty

You are and always will be the Lord of me.

 

Penned – MG – 7/30/99

In the Image of You

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Staring at the reflection in the glass, I wonder what is to become of me.

A wretched, lost and weary soul is all that I can possibly see.

Oh, how desperately I desire to be made brand new.

How could I have ever been formed in the image of You?

You are so majestic, so serene and so Mighty.

I am so lost without You and can take things too lightly.

You are so faithful, so patient and so kind.

I am so self-consumed, thinking only of my time.

Looking into the glass so darkly, all I can see is muck and mire.

A moment of peace in a life half-spent is all I can possibly desire.

Oh, how desperately I need to be rescued.

How could I have ever been formed in the image of You?

You are so divine, so magnificent and so eternal.

I am so lost without you and can make things too comfortable.

You are so loving, so merciful and so just.

I am so unfaithful, thinking only of my lust.

Gazing at the shattered glass, all I can see is fragments and pieces.

A ray of hope in a broken heart is all I can possibly seize.

Oh, how desperately I long for You to be all that’s true.

How could I have been formed in the image of You?

You are so amazing, so incredible and so awesome.

I am so lost without You and can make things, oh, so dumb.

You are so forgiving, so compassionate and so Sovereign.

I am now so blood-washed, thinking only of my pardon.

Penned – MG – 10/21/02