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Wednesday’s Ode #21 – Oops!

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My apologies for this late Ode! I have been sick over the last week, and yesterday, I just simply forgot to schedule this post. Ugh. I couldn’t believe it when I finally remembered late last night! Now, this was supposed to post earlier today, and I’ve had one technical difficulty after another! …the new update doesn’t seem to be so great. 😁 I’ll try to not let that happen again!  

So, what I’d like to give ode to today is dates with my man. 😊 Ok, now, don’t tune me out thinking this is going to be a mushy-gushy post. I promise, I’ll stay focused (or at least try 😉) on the dates themselves and not how much I love him…I really do love him! Ok, focus…  I absolutely LOVE dating my husband! I know, that may sound silly, strange, or even quite foreign for some marriages, but for us, we just love being together. We love going places together, exploring new things, hanging out and even going on “old, been there, done that” adventures together. When I say he’s my best friend, it’s actually for real. We just LIKE each other…even more than we love each other. 

We will go to little country towns and shop for antiques, or we can go to the city and enjoy a fancy meal and the theater. We love to go to Highlands, NC and Ellijay, Ga., and Atlantic Station and the Marietta downtown square. We love to travel to places we have visited often, and we even love to find old gravel and dirt roads and “off road it” for a while. We’ve found all kinds of beautiful sights and new areas this way.   One of our favorite little towns to visit is Dahlonega, Ga. I told a little bit about this in my Wednesday’s Ode about North Georgia. This is a great mountain town filled with lots of character (and characters from time to time, too! Lol). We love to pick from one of our favorite restaurants, like Bourbon Street Grill or The Oyster House, and then walk over to Paul Thomas’ Chocolate shop for dessert, then, just meander through town, looking in all the shops. We always have to include a trip to the General Store to kind of culminate the day. It’s a great little town.   We love going on hikes and exploring new trails, finding waterfalls or just sitting beside a stream. We love finding great new restaurants and trying out any yummy new dish or dessert. We have even been known to just go for a drive to look at houses at Christmas time, looking for beautiful light displays or just going out for a quick little lunch date. Some of our most fun times have been when we’ve had an unexpected moment to have a date! Those are some real adventures.  We just love being together, and that’s how a good relationship should be. If you’re the kind of person that can’t wait to get away from your spouse, I challenge you to ask yourself, “Why?” Now, I know, we all need a little space sometimes, and we need to enjoy an activity or two with the girls (or guys, respectively). I know we can’t spend 24/7 by our partner’s side; that might just lead to a little bit of codependency. However, if you can’t stand to be with your husband or wife, or you just can’t wait to get with the girls/guys all the time, or you’d rather be with you friends more than you are with your spouse, that’s when you need to step back and reevaluate some things.   Marriages come and go too quickly in today’s society, and I think, often, it’s because of self-centeredness and a lack of remembering “why you got into this thing to begin with.” There was a reason you fell in love, and sometimes, you just need to remember why. Now, if it was simply out of lust, and you don’t care anything for that person now, that’s a whole other issue, and you might need to go back to the beginning and make things right with each other. However, too often, a man and woman just need to put away the petty issues, step out of the busyness of life, and take some time together to remember why they fell in love. I challenge you to try it. You might find I’m right! 😊   

Dating is one of the biggest reasons Joey and I still have fun together. Our boys have asked us about our dating from time to time, “Why do you date?” “Why can’t we come?” “Why is it so important?” Our answer has always been, “It’s important, because it helps me love him/her more, and in turn, it helps us be better parents for you guys.” You may not know it, or even understand it, but the best thing you can do for a child is to love that child’s mother (or father, respectively), and that’s the truth!    

So…let me go find my man, and see if we can schedule a little date for tomorrow! 😉  

*just a few pics from the wonderful dates we’ve had…

Our Children See

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We were eating b’fast at chic-fil-a one Saturday morning, and a young lady was walking out, crossing the street when JMan said something interesting…

“She looks just like you…well, except for the shorts. (She had on a pair of short-shorts.) Just to see what he would say, I asked him very inquisitively, “Why not the shorts, buddy?? You don’t think they’d look good on me?” When he looked at me in that moment, it might as well have been that I grew another head! I had such a hard time trying not to laugh. So, I kind of nudged him to say what he was thinking. He said, “Mom, did you see her shorts?? You don’t ever need to look like that! That would not be good! That would be so embarrassing if you did!!” I did laugh then, but it caused me to think…

Now, he’s only 9, and he is totally a boy (!), and we’ve taught him standards to live by; however, we don’t really talk to him about what I wear or don’t wear, and we haven’t really discussed too much about girls wearing short shorts, because he’s only nine. Yet, in that moment, I realized, once again, children see so much more than what we, sometimes, think they do. 

That’s why it’s so important to live according to the standards we set for each of our homes. My standards may not be yours and yours may not be the next guy’s; however, if we wish our kids to follow in our footsteps, we must at least keep them consistent and solid. We must keep them authentic and real, because our kids not only hear what we say, but they see more of what we do and how we live. We must live lives full of character, integrity and authenticity. We set the standards for them to see and to follow. 

Thank You, Dad

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I wrote this several years back and never shared it, but in light of Father’s Day, I decided to post it today. I hope you enjoy…


Thank you, Dad

For teaching me to listen more than I know how

For training me to love nature, for it’s God’s gift to us now

For directing me in the way that I should go

For correcting me by your firm, but gentle, “No”

Thank you, Dad

For all the long distance phone calls just to hear me chatter

For all those endless weather reports, no matter where you were

For all the deliberate actions to avoid my discouragement

For all the little words of heart-felt encouragement

Thank you, Dad

After all those endless bills have been paid

After all the late night advice has been laid

After all the flowing tears have been cried

After all the growing years have passed by

I’ll still be thanking you. 

I love you, Dad.  ❤

Penned – MG – 10/30/03

Happy Father’s Day

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*Lengthy post alert (just a little 😉)*

Father’s Day invokes so many thoughts, feelings and emotions for so many. To look through social media lately, you’d think every woman is “Daddy’s Little Girl,” and most men are “Dad’s Best Bud;” yet, for many, like myself, Father’s Day is filled with a pure mixture of emotions.


You see, as a small child, I hardly ever saw my biological Dad. He was an alcoholic, worked as a merchant marine and was off to sea more often than he was at home. His father wasn’t really present in his life, and he didn’t know how to be present in mine. Sure, he promised to call, promised to come, and I’d watch and wait for hours.  At four years old, I’d even have my bags packed by the door, waiting for hours on end, only to realize, in the moments of crying myself to sleep, that he wasn’t coming, once again. I do have a few fond memories of him from my younger years, and I still hold those tightly in the treasure chest of my mind, but I don’t call him Daddy anymore. As an adult, some things have changed, and we have slowly begun a new relationship, but those days of “Daddy’s little girl” have faded; for some things are simply lost over time and just can’t be regained. The emotions found here are disappointment, forgiveness and resolution.

There was another man in my life with whom “Daddy’s little girl” took on a totally different meaning… My grandfather, or as I affectionately called him, Pa”T,” stepped into my life and became the daddy I never had and of whom I’d always dreamed. He was bigger than life, purely a man’s man, rough and tough as leather but tender as a rose petal when it came to me. He treated me as a jewel and loved me with a fierce, protective love. I grew up learning what true love in a marriage should look like, what kind of man to look for in a lifetime partner and how that man should treat me through the years. In 2002, I had to say goodbye to my Pa”T, and my life was forever changed. The emotions found there are admiration, devotion and respect.  

Steve came into my life when I was at the young age of twelve. He married my mom and tried to become the father figure I had never had and the dad he had never known to be. He taught me so many things over the years. He taught me a love for the Smoky Mountains and an appreciation for God’s creatures and all of His creation. He learned to listen to my teenage chatter and helped me to see beyond my selfish adolescence to the beautiful scenery of God.  He taught me kindness and patience, but most of all, he taught me about the miracle love a father can have for a child who is not biologically his. He became the earthly father I needed who would, one day, give me away to my lifetime love. The emotions found here are appreciation, recognition and acceptance.  

Not to overly extend this little list, but I’d like to add another, if I may…my father-in-law. I guess, there are some who wouldn’t really want an “in-law” on their dad list, but I choose to, because what he has brought into my life, few other men have. He has taught me a spiritual wisdom far beyond his years, a sense of authority and confidence in God which conquers fears and intimidation, and a love for his children that surpasses personality differences, life changes and even direct conflicts. The emotions I have found here are encouragement, fortitude and honor.

 On this Father’s Day, all of these men and all of these emotions turn me to the one father figure who has been present throughout my life and even before I took my first breath. He has been here before the beginning of time, and He will remain beyond the time frame of my understanding. He is the Author and Finisher of every life ever known to be, and He is the picture of pefection. He is the best Daddy that could ever be hoped for or even imagined. He is God. He sees our faults and our failures, and He still loves us! He knew us before we were born, and He makes great plans for our future. He thinks of us as His precious creations, and He longs to have strong, unmovable relationships wth us. He redeems us from our sins, and He’s promised to come back for us again one day. I’d have to say, He thinks we’re pretty special! The emotions I find when thinking of Him are so many of these I’ve already mentioned all wrapped up in awe and wonder for who He is, who I am not, and how He could love me so much!

I have found that no matter the emotions I may uncover for the earthly fathers I have, my Heavenly Father is beyond amazing and beyond my comprehension. He is worthy of all my praise and all my adoration, and with Him guiding me through this life, He is the only Father I need for all the hopes, pains and dreams I may encounter. He is all I need.

No matter the emotions this day may bring to you, remember, you have a Heavenly Father who loves you and longs for you to come to know Him. Just talk to Him, spend time with Him, and you’ll soon find out what being a real daddy is all about.

Happy Father’s Day to all dads out there. I say thank you to the ones who have played such an important part in my life, and I say an extra, great big thanks to the One who has taken the most vital role of all. He holds my hopes, my dreams and my very life within His hands…My heart just stands in awe. ❤️

Perfection

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If we could have achieved perfection on our own, we wouldn’t have needed Jesus. – Jennifer Dukes Lee

We work so hard to have perfection in every area of our lives. Yet, whose perfection are we working to achieve? Is it the perfection of the Pinterest mom?  Do you feel the need to be extra crafty, a perfect, DIY gal, making all the cute little cupcakes and crafts for the party? Is it the homeschool supermom who knows exactly what her child needs in every subject and on every lesson? Is it the grill perfect dad, knowing just when to turn that perfect steak, when to add that very last seasoning to make the meal of a lifetime for all your friends to drool? 

Or maybe it’s that perfect businessman, knowing exactly when to press in for the deal and when to walk away, leaving them begging for more? Maybe it’s the A+ college student…you know, the one who can achieve the highest scores in her sleep while writing that pristine perfect 20 page paper in a day, just after she read the 1500 page novel for American Lit! What is this “perfect” that we seek so hard to find??

Too often, it seems, we seek to find the perfection we think we see in someone else. We look. We examine. We analyze everyone else’s perceived goodness and realize our lacking. We compare our faults to their “greatness,” and we are left wanting more. Who told us they are by whom we should measure ourselves?? 

Who convinced us of their perfection? They are not the answer. They are not the picture of perfection. What they do or don’t do should never be our focus! Who are “they” anyway?? They can never satisfy our longings. They can never fulfill our dreams. They can never transform us from who were once were to whom we are destined to be!

Only the Creator of our lives can bring about perfection. Only Jesus should be our goal of perfection! He is the only one who was born of a virgin, lived a perfect life, dies for us, rose again and has promised to come again. Only HE is the picture of perfect by which we should examine our life. Only HE should be sought after for our value of perfection. 

The only way we can reach to His perfection is to first be real with our imperfections and realize we can never achieve absolute perfection until He perfects our earthly bodies with a heavenly one. We can only reach to His perfection by becoming more like Him and so much less like ourselves. It’s a daily struggle, a daily walk toward His cross and away from our flesh…It’s a daily journey in realism. Why don’t we try a little real-ness in our search for Him? How about a little authenticity in our daily lives? 

Are you ready for a little honesty…a little truth? Let’s drop the games that we play, and let’s get real. Let’s live lives of authenticity. Let’s live lives more like Christ: love, joy, peace, patience and truth…these are the makings for perfection! Let’s chase after Him rather than all those who would try to make us think they are perfect. 🙂

“Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.” Matthew 4:48

Wednesday’s Ode #19

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  Shrimp and grits at Madison’s Restaurant, Highlands, NC

I just love shrimp and grits! I know, I know, this is really just a Southern thing, but I am a Southern girl; so, I guess it fits. I have to say, if you haven’t tried shrimp and grits, you must give it a try. Actually, you must give it at least two tries, because shrimp and grits can come in so many different styles, and it takes a bit to realize which style you might like. 🙂

There are two main preparations for shrimp and grits. What I will call the Louisiana-style usually has a lot of sausage, spices sauce and tomatoes added to the dish, and, what I will call the “Southern” style, has more grits and shrimp. My favorite style is a little less Louisiana-style and a little more Southern style. Both are really good, it just simply depends on your personal preference. For this post, I will be referring to more of this Southern preparation. 

If the restaurant we visit has shrimp and grits, you can just about bet that it will be part of my order that day. It is very rare that I won’t order it, unless it is a restaurant at which we often eat, we will be visiting again soon, it’s not the style I prefer, or it’s just an “off” day for me, and I plan to try them later. I love shrimp and grits that much!!

My favorite preparation is the kind in which the grits are freshly stone ground, cooked to perfection with a texture which is both creamy and gritty with just a touch of cheese. The shrimp are blackened just a bit and sautéed in a sauce of just the right amount of buttery sauce and spice. …Mmmm, this post is making me hungry! 

Now, yesterday, I had a new kind of shrimp and grits, and the grits just won me over! The menu read “pimento cheese grits,” and when the plate was set before me, I was surprised to see the grits had a fried batter around them! Oh. My. Word! They were delicious!! These grits had actually been cooked thoroughly and then “pattied” and fried to a yummy perfection! I am sorry that I didn’t take a pic of them before I devoured them! At another restaurant, several weeks ago, in Charleston, SC, I had a dish of shrimp and grits that was also scrumptious. This dish I did capture a pic, and you can see it below. The chef prepared it by sautéing the shrimp in a lobster butter sauce. Oh. Wow. It was yummy! 

So, as you can see just by the two photos I have included, as well as, these different descriptions, shrimp and grits can come in a variety of ways, but you will never know which you like best until you try it! So, be adventurous. Try a new dish, and, if at first, it isn’t so wonderful, just simply try, and try again until you have reached the plate you just can’t live without!! Lol. 😉  

Shrimp and Grits at The Oyster Room Restaurant at Foley Beach, SC (near Charleston, SC)

Catch and Release

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Catch and release…joy, love, peace, anger, resentment, pain. 

Our youngest son loves to fish. He loves to go out, take his fishing pole, cast a line, and catch whatever there is to catch! It doesn’t matter if it’s little fish, medium size, or a great big one… Although, he loves the great big catch! That boy just loves to fish! 

I started thinking…Ya know, we need to be more like this is life! What if we were so eager to “fish” for the good things in life…like love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness? What if we cast our lines big, expecting those great big wonderful “fish” to latch on for good? 

What if we learned to release those bad things that don’t amount to anything? What if we let go of those thoughts of jealousy, those memories that bring bitterness, those concerns and fears that keep us from chasing our dreams? …what if??

How different would our everyday lives be if we “caught” only what was good and “released” all that was bad? How different would we react to those around us? How different would our legacy be to those comintbg behind us?

Sure, life doesn’t always being great stuff everyday. There are storms that come, but it rains for a good fisherman, too! Yet, I’ve heard that’s when some of the best fishing is done, in the rain! You’ve just got to know what to catch and keep and what to release back into the lake!

Why not try it today? Put on your greatest fishing attire. Pull out that sparkling rod and reel, and set out on a fishing adventure of “Catch and Release.” Catch only good…Release all that’s bad, and see how different your life can be today. 🙂

Wednesday’s Ode #18

/ The WheatandTares / 2 Comments

  I love unique doorways…

  or maybe I should say entryways…   Either way, I love openings that make me wonder what is beyond…    Who has stepped beyond the door?   Who has entered there?

  Who might be coming back?

 

Shimmers Like Gold

/ The WheatandTares

       

The lake shimmers like gold.

 

I drove across the lake today. As I looked at the water it seemed to be shimmering, as if it was a pile of diamonds glowing in the sun. It was simply beautiful. 

This moment reminded me that there’s beauty all around us, all the time. We just have to open our eyes and see it. We can get so busy in our everyday drives, in our daily routines, and in our weekly habits that we miss the beauty that God placed right in our midst. Do you ever just stop to actually smell the roses? Do you ever just pause at night and look up at the stars? 

God placed us here amongst His creation to enjoy it and to praise Him for it. Yet too often these days, I think, we are too busy to even see it clearly. Sure we might pause for half a millisecond to watch a bird on a branch, to hear it chirp it’s little song, but then, we have appointments to make, things to do, people to see, and then we leave, missing out on its beautiful praise. 

We must stop. We must get away. We must get alone until we’re not alone anymore. We must seek our Maker, and then, we’ll be able to see and hear what He has for us. His plans, His creation, His ways are so much clearer when we step out from among the chaos of our lives and step into His presence. I think I’d like to see Him today in the shimmering gold on the lake. I’d like to hear Him in the rustling of the leaves. Would you like to join me?

“Let the heavens rejoice, let the earth be glad; let the sea resound, and all that is in it.  Let the fields be jubilant, and everything in them; let all the trees of the forest sing for joy. Let all creation rejoice before the Lord…”   Psalm 96:11-13a

Friction to Thrive

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There will be no sharpening of iron without friction. – rev. James Robison   

It’s a scary place to be…on the edge of a knife. Wondering what to do, where to go, knowing one step can determine our destiny. In that moment, all can be gained or all can be lost. The choice is ours to make. It is never happenstance. 

Friction shakes things up. Friction causes change, and friction causes a sharpening which cannot be found in the mundane moments of life. Yes, friction is needed in our lives to transform us from who we once were and propel us to who we are to become. 

Often, many will choose to avoid this moment of tension, this moment of inner conflict, this opportunity for change. Some avoid it out of fear. Some avoid it out of pain. Some even avoid it out of sheer laziness. Whatever your reason, I can assure you of this truth: no matter your situation, and no matter your reasoning, every time you avoid that moment of friction, you become dull. You lose your edge. You may even miss the mark for a lifetime. 

Sometimes, you can return. You might regain that sharpness. Sometimes, you can resume your cutting edge; yet, you are never guaranteed its return. You are never promised that repeated opportunity. There are some options which only come once in a lifetime, and all too often, those options come with friction. 

The decision must be made before the conflict arises. The choice must be made today, not tomorrow. We must have a made up mind before the opportunity comes knocking. Don’t let life overwhelm you. Never let circumstances dictate your destiny. You are not a victim. Your life is not simple happenstance. 

Choose you this day. Make up your mind, and chase your dreams. Make life happen all around you, and when you feel that friction, embrace it. Push against it. Stand tall in the midst of it. You will find it’s like a mighty sailboat, caught in the perfect winds on the sea. When the sails, the rutter, and the winds are all caught in perfect tension, that huge vessel will sail with great speed and with ease. 

So, find that place of perfect friction. Embrace those conflicts which come with tenacity and vigor. Thrive in that moment of tension, and sail on, my friend. Sail on.