Man-Child

April 14, 2016April 14, 2016 / The WheatandTares / 6 Comments

Our son shared a devotion during his youth service last night, and someone snapped a photo and sent it to me.

At first glance, I was in shock, in tears and in awe of who I saw. It was as if he had grown up overnight, or maybe just in the hour and half since I dropped him off. How does this happen??

They are so tiny when they’re born, so helpless, so dependent on everything we do for them. We survive the endless midnight feedings and sleepless restings, only to enter the toddler years, when they seem heck-bent in killing themselves in one fashion or another!

Then, it’s school days and taxi driving to every event and sports practice known to mankind. This is soon followed by the absence of mind and hearing through the teenage years, and we wonder some days how we could have given birth to such a creature. These days of challenge and adventure are continued as those, once tiny dependents, start testing their abilities and spreading their wings. They push for their independence, and we seriously wonder how our hearts will handle the empty nests once they’ve flown.

Yet, there comes a moment after the night of events, when you’re watching his smile and hear the excitement in his voice, and you realize you wouldn’t want him any other way. You know within your heart you never want to hinder him or hold him back from his dreams. You see that the once little boy may no longer be in those days of youth, but you realize, as he wraps his arms around you and says, “I love you, Mom” that your man-child has grown past the point of no return, and you long for him to spread his wings and fly to the highest heights and let nothing hinder his dreams and aspirations.

A letter to My Pregnant Self…

February 1, 2016February 7, 2016 / The WheatandTares

If I could go back to when I was pregnant with JGrizz, I would tell myself a few things to be remembered…

Decide, now, you will not sleep for the first three months, and then, when you get that first 30 minute nap, it will be absolutely glorious!

Everything you need to know won’t always be found in a book, given by your doctor, or even spoken by your mother. Sometimes, you’ll just have to follow your instincts.

There will be a time, your instincts will be proven wrong. This doesn’t mean you’re a failure, and this doesn’t mean it’s the end of the world. It means you’re human. It means you’re normal.

The house can’t always be kept clean. Toys seem to come alive in the night and find their way back to the living room before you awake. Learn to organize on a very small scale…very small…like one toy in one basket…at any given time.

One boy can have the volume of a surround sound system on level 55. Two boys can create a front row rock concert experience at 7:00 am. and, again, at 11:30pm.

When your three year old little boy refuses to come down from the Chic-Fil-A slide, it really does not mean you’re a terrible mom…Really.

That day when you have to literally step over your two and a half year old who is pitching a fit on sidewalk, in the front of the church, it does not mean you have failed at parenting. It means you are being brave and strong.

Enjoy those little scribbles and backward letters and upside down numbers … even when you find them on the bedroom wall. For one day, your child will be getting ready to apply for colleges far away from home.

Cherish those moments your two year old rides his Little Tykes motorized Harley in the backyard, for one day, way too soon, he will be talking about his soon coming birthday when he can get his license or driver’s permit.

There will be days when you just drink that cup of coffee and simply survive…and have one more cup of coffee to just make it till your early bedtime.

Find an outlet for your stress. Make time for you…even if it takes scheduling that night out on the calendar, and daddy has to keep the baby. He can do it. He loves that baby, too.

Make time for you and daddy, too. Dating your man IS important. If you and he don’t love each other, your child may not get to see what a great marriage is all about.

Most of all, make time for God, and this doesn’t have to be hours on end spent in the Upper Room. There will be seasons, especially when those babies are little, when devotions will come in snatches of time…it might be a Scripture today that brings peace to your weary mind, a Bible story tomorrow read from a children’s book that brings strength to your heart, and your favorite pastor’s sermon on Sunday morning which brings conviction and healing to your wounded soul.

God’s not about the rules, regulations and perfection. He wants a relationship. He wants to hear your thoughts. He wants to consume your heart. He loves you, and He wants to help you be the best mom you can be. He wants you to know He loves you and that YOU ARE ENOUGH!

Let me say it again, YOU ARE ENOUGH. This being a mom bit is CRAZY hard, but it is so very worth it!! … Be real. Be you. Find God in the chaos and hang on…Hang onto Him with all you’ve got, and you’ll make it.

“You just be you, and God will take care of the rest.” – Bones, Moms’ Night Out

“I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.” Psalm 139:14

The Best Gift

January 25, 2016January 24, 2016 / The WheatandTares

The best gift you can give your child is the gift of hope. I’m not talking about the hope that comes from having a great job or more money. I’m not talking about hope that comes from being more or having more.

I’m talking about a hope that cannot be bought with a salary or influence or even wishful thinking. This hope to which I refer is not one made of human hands or even human aspirations. It’s a hope beyond your wildest imaginations.

This hope is truly a gift, because not only can it not be bought, but it also cannot be worked for or earned in any way, shape, or form. To obtain it, we can’t ever become a better person or act better; yet, because of it, we do become a better person, and it does cause us to act better.

This hope doesn’t make the world perfect, but it does make it closer to perfection. It doesn’t make us sinless, but it does make us sin less. It is a perfect hope, one without sin or blemish, mistake or failure.

This hope is Jesus Christ, His redeeming love, and salvation for us. This hope is wrapped up in heaven and our reconciliation to that wonderful world beyond. This is the hope of which I speak. This is the very best gift you can give your child.

For without hope, a man will surely perish. Without hope, a woman will grow bitter and full of malice and dread. Without hope, a child will be consumed with fear and confusion and rage.

True hope can only come from God, for His Hope brings peace and healing. His Hope brings strength. His Hope brings restoration and reconciliation.

True hope brings love into the home and runs depression, chaos and confusion right out of your mind. Hope gives a purpose and brings a calling. Hope will never fail you.

Don’t delay. Don’t hesitate. When you have this hope, your best days are ahead of you. Seize that hope for your child’s better future. Hope for brighter days, and hope to make the most of the night, wherever you are. Hope for a better future, an eternal hope. This is the best life gift to give your child.

Find it, and give it today.

“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope.” Romans 15:13

“Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.” Hebrews 11:1

“Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life.” Proverbs 13:12

Wednesday’s Ode #40

November 11, 2015November 11, 2015 / The WheatandTares

…oops, I mistakenly noted last Wednesday W.O. #40, and I’m sorry I miscounted!

I love our boys, and I love my man. I am definitely outnumbered, but honestly, I wouldn’t have it any other way. They keep life fun, challenging and adventurous. If it were just me, it probably end up being a little boring.

Our youngest is sweet, compassionate and ready for whatever adventure may come. You can read about him in my post from yesterday.

Our oldest is strong, loving and daring enough to try anything once. He just amazes me! You can read more about him here.

My husband is one of a kind. He always says, “Upon meeting me, people either love me or hate me. There’s not a lot of in between.” I suppose, that’s true. He is an intense guy when it comes to his convictions and the love he has for His God and his family. He’s not an easy one to disagree with; however, he’s also incredible when it comes to interacting with people. I have seen very few with the ability to lead as he does. I know, I can be bias; however, there’s an army of people who would agree with me. His ability is uncanny, at times. He seems to see things others don’t see, and he has the courage to “make the call,” even when others around him are wondering if it the right one…and he’s rarely wrong! He never meets a stranger, and after he hangs out, you’d think he’s your best friend. He has a knack for making people feel welcomed and at home. Often, I envy his outgoing personality, because I am so quiet and reserved, most of the time.

Our house is always “moving.” Something is always going on; there’s always action of some kind. Well, we do have “down time,” don’t get me wrong. Each one of us, actually, has learned to find a place of calm and serenity to regroup and recharge, but with my personality of introversion and reserve, I suppose, I feel as if there’s always movement. Haha. There’s is always an adventure to get to and something new to explore. 😉

I just love these guys so much; my heart feels as if it might bust sometimes. They are my heartbeats. They are my world. I am so blessed to be with each of them, and I’m excited to see where our adventures, and our God, will lead us.

…I guess if I must be outnumbered, this is the best way to be! 😊

Sweetness

August 13, 2015August 13, 2015 / The WheatandTares / 3 Comments

Looking back over my pics, I realize I didn’t share this moment of sweetness that transpired a few weeks ago, and considering my Wednesday Ode last week was about pottery, I thought I would share this with you today. 😊 I heard a loud crash downstairs one morning, and I peeked through the upstairs “window” overlooking the den to see what happened. JMan was looking at a pottery piece shattered on the floor; the cat had evidently tipped it over. He looked up, sadly, and said, “I’m sorry, Mom. The stupid cat knocked it over.”

Knowing this was a cheap little clay bowl I had picked up at a local Thrift Store, I said simply, “Oh well. Can you pick up the pieces and throw it in the trash, please?” I went back to getting ready, not really giving it another thought. About 30 minutes later, JMan came into my bedroom, carrying that little bowl. From the outside, it looked perfect.

He said, “I did the best I could with the tape. It’s not perfect, but maybe you can still use it.”
…Simply precious… It made this momma’s heart swell. 💗

Ya know, I didn’t really care about that bowl before that day, and I had plans to throw it away when it fell and broke, but now…well, now, you probably couldn’t pay me for that little bowl. It’s amazing how, in an instant, the value of something so small can change so much…

Gold All Around You

August 11, 2015 / The WheatandTares / 2 Comments

This week, we are celebrating our oldest son as he is turning 14. I can’t believe it. Seems like it was just yesterday that we were bringing him home from the hospital. In celebration of this event, I thought I would repost a blog I wrote to him last year. I am very proud to be his mom, and I hope as I share this with you, it will encourage you as a parent, as a grandparent, or even as someone who desires to make an impact on this next generation…
He was born a dreamer. He has always dreamed big dreams. At the age of four, he was Batman, Spider-Man, policeman and cowboy, all combined within that sweet tiny frame; the image altering daily, depending upon the mood of the hour. When he had turned nine, the superheroes had faded, and music had taken over. He was a “gangsta-rapper” one day and TobyMac or B-SHOC the next. Always dreaming of greatness, always hoping for the big stage, the bright lights, and the gold coins.

Today, his heart is set to the beat of a different drum. He doesn’t conform too much to those around him. He has his own style, his own fashion and, yes, his own swagger. He is his own man, and he loves it. He loves Jesus, and he doesn’t care who knows it. He wants others to see what he sees and feel what he feels.

Often, I see the little boy alive in his eyes, and my heart skips a beat for what once was. I see him shooting for the stars, and I pray he never stops or even hesitates. I see him making plans and setting aspirations into action, and I pray The Lord keeps him within His grasp, always leading and guiding him down the right path.

In those moments, I realize, this is what it’s all about: Dreams. Hopes. Aspirations. Reaching for something great. This is what brings about change. This is what brings about true freedom from conformity. This is what brings about new “life.” As a little child dreams, hope is birthed in the soul, and ope brings them to a brighter future…Christ said, “Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.”

For if we fail to dream, if we fail to reach for the stars, something dies within. We must let the child live. We must cultivate those dreams of yesterday. Yeah, some things change, and life always moves on. Time never stops, but yet, if we lose track of it without a dream, it surely does drag along. If we forget to get lost in the yester-years, every once in a while, how will we ever remember how much has changed, and how will we ever see how far we’ve come?

So, dream on, my sweet child. Dream big. Plan long, and aspire for greatness! You can shoot for all the stars in the sky, and even if you don’t make it to the one in your sights, you’ll still get further than if you never reached for it to start. I see gold all around you, and I believe it’s because the stars are within your grasp. Let Him guide you to the right ones, and He will help you get there. When you do, just reach up and take hold. It’s yours for the dreaming, and when you’re amongst the stars, that’s when you’ll see the gold that I see all around you.

Time Stands Still

March 9, 2015March 7, 2015 / The WheatandTares

Last week had a pretty full agenda, usual routine things, several added appointments for me, and several added items for the boys, but all that changed around 4am Wednesday morning…

JMan came in the bedroom, tapped me on the shoulder and told me he had just thrown up. My brain, still groggy from sleep, didn’t immediately register what he was telling me; so, I said, “Okay, go back and lay down. I’ll be there in just a second.” As I heard him leave the room, my brain and my “mom instincts” kicked in. I got up, went and got blankets to make a pallet in the guest room (I always “quarantine” the sick, hoping to contain the germs), retrieved my own pillows, and told little man to come with me.

I proceeded to make him a pallet, set up water bottles, towels and a night light. We were “set” for a night of sickness, or so I thought, knowing that the boys’ usual course is about 6-8 hrs., and they’re done. At noon that day, after following him to help in the restroom every 30 minutes since 4am, I began to wonder if this was going to be the normal run of sickness. Five hours later, I was convinced this was one nasty stomach bug that wasn’t going to let go so easily.

Everything stopped that day. I cancelled my dentist appointment to get a crown, which I have to say, I wasn’t too upset about. I put off plans to cook for the week (I had had plans to cook several days’ worth of meals), and we ordered out for lunch. My husband took JGrizz back and forth to church with him, as I’m usually the chauffeur, allowing my husband to prepare for his Wednesday night class. I asked someone else to record JGrizz in a drama performance; since, I couldn’t be there, and I called the choir director to notify him of my absence. Joey then chauffeured JGrizz back and forth to school the next two days, as well as, helped him to study for tests and confirmed homework was done, and he taxied him to other events and church for the weekend, all the things which I am very accustomed to doing in my day to day routine.

All day Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, and Saturday, I was totally focused on taking care of JMan, tending to his needs, praying, refilling water bottles and cleaning up behind him, all the while, hoping and praying no one else would get sick. (This was a very nasty bug!!) My routine became matched with his, sleeping when he slept and waking when he awoke; otherwise, I stumbled around trying to catch up on the lost sleep, which, I basically did anyway during those hours. It’s never easy sleeping when you’re baby’s sick! I stayed huddled up with him in that guest room for four days. Nothing else mattered except getting him well.

Due to both my boys and my husband depending on me for different things day to day, I had to fight internally with my own mother and wife instincts throughout that time. I felt obligated and needed to tend to JMan’s needs, while I also battled guilt over not being able to be there for our oldest son’s youth competitions that weekend and leaving all the burden on my husband to make sure they were both taken care of and arrived at all the places at which they needed to be for the total of five days (by the time JMan really got well).

It made me think of families whose babies have gone through trauma, are experiencing a terminal illness, or even have a long-term sickness that maybe can’t be diagnosed. How do they function over time? How do they manage their homes, their lives, their personal needs? This realization came to me: they find a “new normal.” Yes, that’s the only thing you can do when your loved one is sick, and they need you. All the other things in life, those things which you thought were of such importance, just seem to fade away. The focus becomes crystal clear: the well being of your child.

Those days gave me a new perspective. A perspective that, I’m sure, was really always there. It wasn’t the first time our little man had been sick; however, it was the first time he’d been this sick. It was, also, the first time in a long time, I suppose, I stood back and thought of more than just getting through the moments of sickness and maybe thought of more than just the sickness of my own child. It reminded me that time seems to stand still when you least expect it. It reminded me, as I often encourage others to do, to make sure I’m living life to the fullest, and cherishing those with whom I’m living and sharing this life. For, none of us know what tomorrow might bring, and what a pitiful state we will be in if we only realize tomorrow what we missed out on today!

So, can I encourage you today? Take time for those you love, not just in the tough moments, but in the good moments as well. Step back and see those you love in the moments right where they are. Cherish them. Hold them. Love them. Step back and take a look around. Take notice of who is there, where you are, and where you are going together. When we’re able to step back and see the bigger picture, we’re apt to learn so much more!