real

Is God Good?

/ The WheatandTares

Is God good, because of His own goodness, or is He good, because He does good things for us?

Many who are believers would automatically reply, “God is good simply because of His own goodness.” However, I’d question if you truly believe this truth. If this is your stance, let me challenge you with a question. “The last time a tragedy hit your family, did you say, ‘Praise God! He is so good!’ or did you rant and rage, wondering where God was in your hour of need? Did you rejoice and celebrate Him as the afflictions came into your life, or did you curse His name for ever tempting you with His promises of love and mercy?

Yet, for many nonbelievers, you might reply “God is good only when He proves He is good by bestowing blessings and goodness.” You might demand His eternal goodness for you to ever be obedient to His Word and submissive to His authority in your life. If this is your stance, let me challenge you with a question or two, “Why do you trust in all kinds of entities in this life that are proven to be untrustworthy; yet, to the one Deity that has been proven time and again (by scripture and by personal testimonies) to be trustworthy and faithful, you don’t hold the same standards?” You might wonder what I mean. Let me expound a bit…

So many, who question the integrity of God (because they feel “He has let them down” in one way or another) completely depend upon, and keep faithful, in entities of life which have proven to be faulty at one time or another. One example would be money. You hold onto that money, buying, selling, giving and receiving, as if it will last forever. You never question it’s worth. You never question it’s reliability. You never question if it will remain stable tomorrow, next week or even years from now, because you simply trust you will receive that paycheck, cash/deposit it, and withdraw it and use it at anytime you need. Yet, time has brilliantly proven the stock market can crash in a moment’s notice, and poverty can beset us all!

Another example would be government. (*Now, don’t get hostile on either side of the “party lines.” I’m not choosing sides here; I’ll hit you both. Lol.😂) You support that system; you trust that system; you invest in that system; you defend that system, and you live by whatever rules and regulations that system hands down to you or demands of you. Yet, time and again, through political scandals, bailouts, voter frauds, twisted officials and structural brokenness and gaps, that system had proven to be faulty and less than trustworthy.

There are so many examples to give, but I will give one final example here, and that would be simply the human condition. We all have people we have loved, people we have trusted, people we have leaned on, and people in whom we’ve confided our greatest fears and failures, our hopes and dreams. Yet, there have been people in each of our lives who have wounded us, damaged us or simply failed us in a multitude of ways (And if that’s not you, well, keep on livin’, my young friend). People have proven to just be people, with ups and downs, strengths and weaknesses, successes and failures, and so much more. Yet, we keep repeating this cycle of trust time and time again.

So, with all of this on both ends of the spectrum, let me repeat the question, just so we are still on the same page…

Is God good, because of His own goodness, or is He good, because He does good things for us?

God is good, because He, in and of Himself, is full of goodness. Nothing He does can have bearing on His deity or on His character as God, because He is consumed of goodness and everything good comes from Him. He cannot lie. He cannot be untrustworthy, and He cannot fail.

Our believing the sun isn’t hot simply because we can’t touch it or feel it on a rainy day doesn’t change the gastric heat it contains. Our believing the ocean is no longer wet, because we are in a desert land and can’t presently be immersed in that sea doesn’t change a bit of the moisture it holds. Just as our believing God is no longer good because of a tragedy or because He didn’t grant our every wish never changes the goodness He is nor the goodness He can give.

God is God, nothing more and nothing less. His promises are true, and His goodness flows like a river for all to receive. All we must do is have the right perspective. We have to see Him clearly, and we have to believe.

Authenticity Encircles Authenticity

/ The WheatandTares

As you become authentic, you will begin to see and be drawn to others who are authentic. As you begin to walk this road, you may also realize some people in your life seem to walk away or even fade away. Realize this for what it is, and embrace it; be okay with it.

Don’t judge them for not continuing in your journey. Don’t slander them for not being loyal and true. Don’t even worry about asking too many questions of why? Or why not?

Some weren’t meant to travel this same road with you. Some don’t wish for the changes you’ve chosen to indulge like a sweet dessert. Others just aren’t where you are and will never understand the transformation until they themselves come to that crossroad in their own lives…and that is okay!

Be you. Be authentic. Encircle others who are authentic. Let go of that and who you must.

Live! … And don’t just survive in living…

THRIVE in your authentic self!! 💕

Knowing you and Embracing you

/ The WheatandTares / 1 Comment

Becoming a person of authenticity and purpose isn’t easy to do, and it doesn’t happen overnight. It takes hard work, deliberate effort and patience…lots of patience. To become a person of purpose, it’s almost like you’re training for the run of your life or for the fight of a lifetime.

Purpose follows persistence and persistence follows passion.

PASSION –> PERSISTENCE –> PURPOSE

Sometime, you will walk along life’s path and not really have a clue as to what your purpose is, and if you’re seeking that answer, this season of unknowing can be incredibly frustrating!! But, just as I’ve heard Pastor T.D. Jakes preach,

You’ve got to figure out what your passions are. When you figure that out, you’re half way there to finding your purpose! Just continue in that passion. Fine tune your strengths. Figure out your weaknesses and work to improve those areas needed. Get a coach who can challenge you and “get in your grill,” someone who will cheer you and not take “No” or “I quit” as answers. Keep pushing forward until you realize you’re working in your purpose.

Just as a boxer finally knocks out his opponent when he stays persistent in the fight, always looking for the weakness of his foe, and just as a runner finally crosses the finish line when she stays persistent even when her legs scream “just quit,” you will become an authentic person of purpose when you keep on keepin’ on!! 😉

Find You. Know YOU. Embrace you. Become who you were meant to be! You can do this! I believe in you!! 💕

Knowing You and Letting Go

/ The WheatandTares / 2 Comments

When you’ve gotten to know you, only then, can you let go of who you are not. Because this is such a simple statement, this may sound silly or even a little cliche; yet, it is so very true. When you don’t truly know who you are, you can’t rightly let go of who you might have been pretending to be.

Often, when we start pretending to be something, or someone, we’re not, we lose our true identity. We get lost in the fantasy, the struggle and the desire to be that other person, and that facade will become a false reality for as long as we will live it. It becomes a place of comfort and security while, in reality, the fallacy eats away at our very being.

Everyone around us can see it. Anyone who gets close and is tuned into reality will recognize the fake for what it truly is, and more often than not, those people will eventually remove themselves from our orbit without us ever realizing why they left. To me, this is one of the saddest places to be in life, because that person is so wrapped up in their own lies that he/she can’t even recognize reality until the painful truth slaps them in the face either by tragedy, self-harm or broken relationships that bring about a sense of desperation for truth.

So, tune into the real you. Stare hard into that mirror in the morning and be that the little boy on Hook, who wiped Peter’s face until he could find Peter Pan. Find YOU. Embrace YOU, and learn to love YOU. Then, you will become authentic, and others will be drawn to that new you. 💕

Knowing YOU

/ The WheatandTares / 5 Comments

I’ve been sharing for the last few days on the subject of authenticity. This is such a great word, and everybody is better off when we all embrace it to it’s fullest. Yet, as I posted those blogs, I started thinking how maybe some people resist authenticity, not necessarily, because they like to be fake, but rather, because they don’t really know themselves.

It made me think of the movie, Runaway Bride, when Julia Roberts’ character has to go “find herself” before she can commit to what she’s purposed to do. (Trying not to give any spoilers here! 😜) Now, I’m not a big advocate of dropping all your commitments to go “find yourself,” because I think, too often, this is used as a cop-out to simply be lazy or rebellious toward the commitments you’ve made. However, my point is this…

You can never be authentic until you truly know and embrace who you are!*

So, get to know that person staring back at you in the mirror every morning. Stare hard. Stare long. Ask questions and answer them, even when they’re hard ones that scream for honesty.

What are my likes? What are my dislikes? Why do I laugh? Why do I cry? What do I believe? For what, in what, or in whom, do I hope? In whom, or what, do I put my trust? When am I the most scared? When am I the most lonely? When am I the most confident and why?

There are a gazillion questions to ask and answer. This may take awhile. Even if it takes the rest of your life, don’t stop asking and never stop answering.

That’s the only way you can truly realize who you are. Draw out that heart within. Reach down deep and find the depths of your soul. Is it shallow, or are the measures endless and complex? True self-evaluation and self-analyzation helps to recognize, acknowledge, challenge and change those things that need alteration and improve those things which are just needing tweaking or strengthening.

Having a mentor, a life coach or just a truth speaking friend will also help you to find yourself and be the “true you,” but these thoughts will be held for another day.

Now, get out there and get to know YOU; so, you can let that authenticity blossom!! 😉

*Note to the wise: the real truth in who you are can, actually, only be found when you come to know the Creator of who you are, and that, my friend, will be a full post for another day very soon; however, you can start on that path of discovery today: Proverbs 9:10; John 1:1; John 3:16

Give Yourself Permission: Authenticity

/ The WheatandTares / 1 Comment

Too many of us grow up believing we must conform to society, or be molded after our family’s traditions, or conform to our friends’ desires, or even be completely yielded to our parents’ or spouses wishes. When we’ve been constantly conditioned to surrender and submit all willpower, all defiance, all choice to the determination of another, authenticity can escape us, and we might not even realize it.

It really takes hard work to be authentic, because not everyone is going to agree with you on everything. It takes a dogged mindset to remain real when the world around us is full of so much fake that is sold to the highest bidder. It even takes a mental stubbornness to remain grounded in your own beliefs, standards and choices for life, especially if you have someone close to you whom you seek to have their approval, affection or admiration.

The coveting of another’s love can wreak havoc on one’s conviction to be authentic. At times, it will even take some self-denial to preserve true genuineness of soul, because our natural tendency toward selfishness can, often, override authenticity to the point of creating a self-righteous, self-approved, self-promoted state of being, which is never truly authentic in the matters of the heart.

A true authentic being is one who knows herself, the good, the bad and the ugly, and is fully aware of what needs improvement, and is willing to make the, sometimes, hard adjustments to bring the kind of change that will not simply “turn over a new leaf,” but change that will also be magnetic to cause others to desire this same type of transformation to become authentic.

Authenticity comes with a price. Those willing to pay it will reap it’s amazing benefits. Those who refuse will grow stagnant in the mundane, duplicity and hypocrisy of life, until they eventual die a slow, cruel death of fake relationships, dual personalities and a foul, unreliable character.

So, it is up to you, and it up to me.

What will you choose?

I will strive to choose authenticity.

Be Brave. Be Authentic.

/ The WheatandTares / 1 Comment

Authenticity takes courage and boldness to obtain. This is not because it’s hard to achieve, but rather, because it takes effort and a deliberate decision to be real, not only with others, but with ourselves. It also takes a true appreciation of ourselves, a sort of self-love.

I say, “sort of,” because I’d like to clarify this word I chose. The kind of “self love” I’m talking about isn’t this cultural self love where everyone has to agree with you, appreciate you and understand to for you to be able to “carry on” in your daily routines of living. That kind of attitude has been misrepresented as self love, when all that is is pure SELFISHNESS. No, true self love is when you can appreciate who you are AND who you are not. It is an understanding of your strengths AND your weakness and having the ability to love yourself through all of them. It is even the ability to be able to ask for help when needed, realizing that you’re not made perfect, and there are other people in this world who are better than you, more capable than you and even, sometimes, who aren’t even going to like you.

But you can be ok with that, because you’ve come to grips with who you are and who you are not. You love yourself for it; you’re wearily working on the improvements you need, and you’re okay with those who don’t like who you are, because you’re not living for them anyway! THAT’S authenticity, and that’s “the bravest and most adventurous way to live!”😉💗

Authenticity is Magnetic

/ The WheatandTares / 1 Comment

Not to steal someone else’s quote, but to requote Daniellelaporte.com, “Authenticity IS magnetic! When you are your true self, people will be drawn to you. Uniqueness is intriguing. Genuiness is both compelling and appealing. Try it. You might just find you like it, and others do, too! 😉

*Note: if your “true self” is just simply a jerk, you may be a bit more repelling than compelling; so, please, do self evaluate. If you’re more of a total jerk than a friendly person, this might not work so well. You might actually have to “Fake it till ya make it, baby!” 😉😂

If You Are Over 30…

/ The WheatandTares

Ok, so, I’m going to kind of make a funny here with some hyperboles and be a little exaggerate simply to make a point…

ONCE YOU’RE OVER THE AGE OF 30, THERE’S SOME THINGS YOU JUST NEED TO LET GO OF, BECAUSE YOU’RE LOOKING KIND OF GOOFY AND REALLY MAKING YOURSELF OUT TO BE A FOOL. 😳😑

This though has probably been triggered, because I’ve come across a few of these lately, and I’ve been reminded what “immaturity in an old shell” really looks like. I guess, you could just call me old fashioned, or maybe you’ll charge me with too much conservatism. If so, that’s ok, but really, if you are guilty of the following and don’t think you need a little change, you might just want to step back and see yourself through the eyes of the older and younger generations.

If you’re over the age of 30, please stop:

1. Cussing out the cashier or waiter, because he or she didn’t do something correctly while ringing up your bill.

Are you telling me you’ve never made a mistake, especially after a long day at work?

2. Making a scene in public because your momma hurt your feelings, the teacher disciplined your child or someone just cut in line in front of you.

Really? Show some respect for yourself and other people. Take up the confrontation with whom it needs to be settled.

3. Miniskirts and midriffs.

The company you’re trying to attract will be on the prowl, regardless of your attire, and the company you need to be attracting won’t be interested in all that.

4. Various brands or quotations on your rear end.

Umm, no. Just simply don’t.

4. Selfies taken in front of the mirror of your bathroom.

You’re not 15, and this isn’t the glamour shots of the 80s. Somethings just need to stay in the past.

5. Partying all night and all day, especially when you have children who need care.

You’re a momma or a daddy now. Act like it. Their lives may depend on it.

6. Living at home with mom and dad.

You outgrew that baby bed for a reason. It might be tough, but you can do this thing called life.

7. Gaming all night and skipping out on your job.

The old proverb is true, “A man who won’t work won’t eat.” This culture’s society will try to convince you otherwise with the welfare and entitlement mentalities, but do not be deceived. We all need to work if we desire to eat.

8. Making out in the grocery store parking lot when you should just go get a room.

This was all fun and games in high school, but when you’re older, it just seems you’ve got way too much to prove or maybe you’re cheating on your spouse.

9. Skipping out on your family, because you just “wanna have fun” or “sow your wild oats.”

So much could be said here, but I’ll just keep it to two words: GROW UP! Yes, I did shout that, in case, you didn’t hear me.

10. Stealing, thievery, lying or cheating.

This is not okay at any age, but when you have crossed this threshold of life, you seriously look like a loser. Get a life. Get a job, and be a man not a parasite.

Yeah, maybe I am just “old school.” Maybe I am just a little bit of a “fuddy dud.” If that’s what I am, simply, because I choose to make solid choices for my life and my family, well, that’s okay with me. Call me what you will.

I’ll just settle to being a little traditional, a bit old fashioned and conservative, or maybe, I’m just secure in my decision to grow up, live life with determination and purpose, and move beyond those selfish motives and actions of my more youthful days.

Love Me Challenge #28

/ The WheatandTares

What have I learned in these 28 days of this Love Me Challenge?

1. Challenges can be fun. 

2. Challenges can be challenging. 

3. Sharing your heart in factual questions/answers about yourself can be both fun and challenging. 

4. Sharing your heart by answering questions from someone else’s creation can draw out things you haven’t thought of in years, or even, never really put a lot of thought into until that moment. 

5. Lots of people read these kinds of posts but not so many join in with you…But that’s ok! 😉💕 … and I’ve thoroughly enjoyed all the “join ins,” as well as, the encouraging words. You guys are simply the BEST! 💗