Questions to Ponder

   
 I saw a list of questions today on a delightful blog post here, and as easy as the questions seemed while reading, I began to ponder them for myself, and I realized they’re not as easy as they first appear. I’d like to share them with you now and see if you might want to share your answers as well…

If you had a shelf for your three most special possessions (NOT including photos, electronic devices and things stored on then, or people or animals) what would you put there?

I don’t consider myself a real materialistic kind of gal; so, this question took me a little bit of time, because my first thoughts were of my family, all the photos I cherish, and one special book that I treasure. Since, I wasn’t allowed to include people or photos, my list shortened, and since my treasured book will be placed in the ‘happiness’ box below, I was back to square one. I, then, thought of my wedding band, but I could never leave that on a shelf, I would always be wearing it; so, again, I pondered. The next three things I treasure in life would be these: my journals, my camera and my gun. That may seem like a very strange combination, but let me explain…my journals for all of my writings of thoughts, goals, dreams, feelings and agonies of life. Here is where I work out my emotions and seek out the depths of my heart…my camera for all the many photographs I take to try and capture the moment and document the memories forever…my gun for a sense of security and protection, for if this world goes crazy one day, I will protect my family with everything I have and more. 

If you had a box labeled ‘happiness,’ what would you put in it?

This one was pretty easy for me to decide, because I believe true happiness can never come from a thing or even a person. True happiness can only come from within, and it can only be found, and be found everlasting, within the joy of the Lord. The One True God is the only one who can bring us perfect peace in a storm, beauty from ashes and joy through morning. So, my Bible would go inside this box, but it would be opened everyday; so, I might read, listen, learn and commune with my Heavenly Father. 

  
What do you want more of in this life?

There’s really not a whole lot more that I want more of. I feel like I have been blessed so much that I don’t really have a right to ask for anything more. I guess, if I had to choose, I’d say I’d like to, personally, have more discipline and confidence I my life. I get so frustrated with myself when I get lazy and when I back up or hesitate due to a lack of confidence. 

Daily Life List:  What do you do on an average day? Make a list of your usual activities that you do each day.

When I read Paardje’s daily life list, I have to admit I was quite jealous of her disciplined routine. I cannot say I am that precise in my daily agenda; even though, I so long to become that way. My daily life list is more like this:

1. 6:30am Wake up call

2. Devotions/Bible reading

3.  New found exercise routine (Mmm, working on the consistency of this one…As of this post, Day 5 in progress)

5. Shower and get ready

6. 3 days a week – Make sure the boys are up and getting ready for school…make sure they have lunches, and take them to school (2 days a week are home days; so, it’s a focus of schoolwork during morning hours)

7. While the boys are in school: 2 days of the weeks, we have a staff meeting and a prayer meeting, both ending around lunch time … And 1 day, I either work at the church or stay home to take care of “home stuff,” depending on the week and what the needs are 

8. Lunch with hubby

9. Pick up boys from school 

10. Run errands or return home and straighten/clean as needed

11. Dinner 

12. Evenings vary but are usually centered around family activities or down time

13. 8pm All video games and devices off…Tv/movies allowed if doing together

14. 9pm Boys to their rooms to read and settle down for bed…All electronics off and put up 

15. 9:30/10pm Lights Out for boys 😓

16. Bedtime varies for me… unfortunately, I am a night owl attempting to go to bed at earlier hours these days. 😁

Bonus Question: What are you grateful for from this last week? – and what are you looking forward to in this coming week?

This last week, I am grateful for the beautiful patches of snow we have had. It wasn’t much to speak of, only a dusting really, but I just love snow so much that even a little white dusting makes me feel like a kid again! 

This coming week, Sunday, is Valentine’s Day. My husband always says I’m a “sucker for love;” so, naturally, VDay is always a fun day for us! šŸ˜Šā¤ļø

I do hope you’ve enjoyed my little “heart and soul adventure,” and I do hope you’ll send me a few responses on some of your own answers. Or, maybe like me, it will inspire you to write up your own blog with your answers to these pondering questions. Please, be sure to link my blog; so, I can venture over to read! I’d love to learn more about you and what makes you who you are! 😊  I hope you have a great day today!!

My Deepest Me

I heard a song the other day with this line in it:Ā 

“You met me in my deepest Me… Grace met me there”

It made me ponder that thought for awhile
Me…that’s who I am.Ā 
I’m not you. I’m not her. I’m definitely not him.Ā 
I’m not that wife, that mom, that dr, or that waitressĀ 
I’m not your mom (except JGrizz’s and JMan’s!), your sister or your auntĀ 
I’m just Me…that’s who I am.Ā 

Me…it’s not always a pretty placeĀ 
Sure, I can paint on a pretty smile and fix my hair just right
I can put on a nice suit and pull myself together just the way I shouldĀ 
I can say sweet words and shake hands and give you a great big hug if you need it

But I sure can snap at my kids early on a Sunday morning when I’m running late
I can battle thoughts of jealousy, selfishness and just plain rudeness sometimes.Ā 
I can be unkind to my husband, envious of the times someone might need his attention when I really need to talk to himĀ 
Me…can be a not so gracious place
Me…can be a deep, dark, sometimes even stinky placeĀ 

I can be grouchy. I can be angry. I can be rude, sharp and even hostile.Ā 
I can be unkind, unreliable and unfriendly.Ā 
I can even be lazy, forgetful and unforgiving.Ā 
Me…it’s not always a place I enjoy to be.Ā 
Me…it’s not always a person I like to see.Ā 
But I have found, He always meets me in the deepest of Me
He always meets me in the deepest places where others won’t brave the approachĀ 
He always surrounds me in the darkest moments of my soul when I wonder and doubt if He’s even there
He always consumes my heart to remind me that no matter what I’ve done He still cares.Ā 

Because when I’m Me..
He can heal
He can restore
He can bind
He can refine
When I’m Me…
He can purify
He can cleanse
He can redeem
He can transform what is seen

You see, when I’m Me, My flesh is too much for my world to handle.Ā 
This is not a good thing, as some would presume.
Because left to me, I will die.Ā 
I will destroy and I will reek havoc on the lives I encounter.Ā 
Yet, left to Him…
He can reach
He can saveĀ 
He can heal

Ā 
He will never falter.Ā 



In the Depths of the Falls

Ā 

I saw a glimpse of something today. We took a little hike to Amicalola Falls and were standing on the bridge, looking up at the falls when I saw it. Looking up, this song started rolling over and over in my mind, and before I realized it, I was softly singing:Ā 

Peace, peace, wonderful peace

Coming down from the Father above

Sweep over my spirit forever I prayĀ 

In fathomless billows of love

As I stood there, listening to the waters rush over the rocks and tumble down below, I began to really see it…The rocks were solid, strong, unyielding. There were sharp places and dark places…green, squishy patches and dry, splotchy parts…even some spots with crackly, dry weeds. Yet, where the water flowed, the rocks were smooth and even shiny, almost like jewels glistening in the sun. The waters rushed over the edge at one place and trickled down, hardly noticeable in another. Sometimes, it would bounceĀ and jump,Ā almost seeming to dance in laughter off the rocks, and in others, that same water swirled and pooled, making little collections of shimmery basins in which you could’ve cooled and refreshed your feet. The falls were simply beautiful, invigorating and peaceful, inviting and overwhelming, all in the same breath.Ā 

As I stood there, tears streaming down my face, I could see the depths of myĀ very soul. The rocks are the image of my soul. It’s solid, strong, and unyielding, sometimes for very good reasons, sometimes for not so good. TheĀ water is the Living Water of God. It washes my heart, cleanses my mind and purifies my soul. It causes the green patches of soft, squishy grass to grow.Those are the places where I’m tender and soft toward the things of God. I’m pliable, moldable, easily moved and quickly changed. These are the places where I long to stay, to learn, to grow.Ā 

Yet, there are other areas where it’s not so sweet. His water has to smooth out the sharp, ragged, painful places, those places we’d rather not talk about, those pains we’d justĀ as soon forget. He pours over those jagged rocks of my soul to bring life, restoration and joy.

I was reminded, in that moment,Ā all our souls are in this similar state of being. Some are more, some are less, but we all have sharp, jagged rocks that need His soothing. We all have dark places, those thingsĀ which are ugly andĀ hidden from the world that need His cleansing. Each one of us has a dry spot or two that needs more waterĀ and oh, those pesky weedy areas that are in such need ofĀ His purifying. Every one of usĀ hasĀ a need for so many more of those soft, squishy, green patches, those places where His love and mercy abide. Our soul longs for those times when we are fully immersed in His goodness and grace.

You see, when we let Jesus into our soul, His rivers of Living Water rush into our lives to show us His love, His grace, His mercy, those thingsĀ which He’s just been waiting to pour out. Sometimes, the water is so loud, so consuming, we can’t even contain it or comprehend it. Other times, He lets it trickle down a forgotten path, one we thought we’d pushed far into the past to a place never to be seen or remembered again. Yet, He gently lets His waters flow, washing over those places, drawing us back, soothing our soul.Ā 

Just as these falls towered before me, His Living Water towers over our souls. He cleanses us, changes us, and transforms us into a beautiful spectacle for all to see. As we allow His water to wash over the depths of our being, we will know He is God. We will know He loves us; we will experience His grace, and we will be transformed into a new creation. We will become a beautiful waterfall that others will gaze upon and feel refreshed, invigorated, challenged and changed. They will gain strength and wisdom as they see whatĀ the LordĀ has done in our life. Many will long for the same as they see the place whereĀ He abides. All we must do is allow His Holy Spirit, His Living Waters to flow into and through our lives. Will you let Him flow today?Ā 

“…And let anyone drinkĀ who believes in me.ā€ As Scripture has said, ā€œOut of himĀ (orĀ them)Ā will flow rivers of living water.ā€ John 7:38

Ā Ā 

Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā 

You Still Love Me

I fail You time and time again
I bite
I claw
I fight my way to the win
And I continue to fail to see
What it is You’re showing me

You still love me

I nail you there over and over again
I hate
I lust
I struggle to succeed in the sin
And I constantly miss the target
What You’re urging me to forget

You still love me

I crucify the very One who gives me life
I deny the Son who has broken my strife
I refuse comfort, protection, a guide
For the very sake of my own pride

You still love me

You loved me before time began
You will love me still until time stands
Your grace finds me in the depths
Your mercy reaches me in the rock clef

You still love me

Why?

My soul cries

You are My child

My heart cannot deny

You still love me

Penned – MG – 1/15/15