You Still Love Me

I fail You time and time again
I bite
I claw
I fight my way to the win
And I continue to fail to see
What it is You’re showing me

You still love me

I nail you there over and over again
I hate
I lust
I struggle to succeed in the sin
And I constantly miss the target
What You’re urging me to forget

You still love me

I crucify the very One who gives me life
I deny the Son who has broken my strife
I refuse comfort, protection, a guide
For the very sake of my own pride

You still love me

You loved me before time began
You will love me still until time stands
Your grace finds me in the depths
Your mercy reaches me in the rock clef

You still love me

Why?

My soul cries

You are My child

My heart cannot deny

You still love me

Penned – MG – 1/15/15

Living Water

/home/wpcom/public_html/wp-content/blogs.dir/dbc/71492601/files/2014/12/img_8761.jpg WATER IS AN INCREDIBLE, POWERFUL THING. It can trickle down the side of a boulder, and over time, it will carve a groove into the stone. It can come in like a flood and move that same rock across an entire city.

/home/wpcom/public_html/wp-content/blogs.dir/dbc/71492601/files/2014/12/img_8767.jpg WATER IS A CLEANSING, REFRESHING ELEMENT. It can wash away the grime and muck of the mire. It can purify a hidden wound for healing.

/home/wpcom/public_html/wp-content/blogs.dir/dbc/71492601/files/2014/12/img_8768.jpg WATER IS A REFRESHING,ENERGIZING SOURCE. It can bring life to the dying and diseased. It can restore the lost and the dazed.

“…but whoever drinks the water I give them will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give them will become in them a spring of water welling up to eternal life.” John 4:14

Grade for Color

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Do you grade a Kindergartener on their ability to color within the lines? Do you grade a toddler on his ability to walk around with never falling? How about a young teen in her ability to drive a car through a busy street for the first time?

If you are a reasonable human being, the answer to these questions would definitely be, “NO!” If we, who are so imperfect, don’t expect perfection from our children, who are so young and just learning, why would we believe God would expect perfection from us??

Do you realize He is the Creator of the universe? He spoke, and there was light! He took the stars in His hands, as if they were tiny grains of sand, and flung them across the heavenlies. He tells this one to go, and he goes, and He tells this one to stay, and He stays. He is infinite. He is majestic. He is God, and He loves us.

We were created by an infinite Being. We are mortal. We are imperfect. We are flawed. We are human; yet, He loves us. He loves us with a love that our tiny minds can’t possibly understand. He loves us beyond measure. He loves us without condition. He loves us beyond what we can even fathom. If this kind of God can love us through our humanness, and we can love our children beyond their “child-ness,” how can we ever believe we must become more for Him to love us more?

Yet, we do. Too often, we place expectations upon ourselves to be more, to do more, to say more, thinking it will make Him love us more. When we falter and when we fail, we then walk around in constant condemnation, believing, somehow, that He now loves us less. His love is not like that. He sent His only Son to die for us while we were still sinners! He loves us more than we could ever imagine trying to love our own children! He loves us more than we love ourselves! His love is unconditional, immeasurable and infallible, and He offers it freely to us, without condition.

All we are required to do is receive it. All we have to do is believe. If you had a package on your doorstep that contained all the riches of the world, or all the desires of your heart, wouldn’t you run to find it? Wouldn’t you rush to open it? Yet, often, we hesitate with the very One who gave us this breath we breathe. We pause to accept the very Life He freely offers.

I encourage you today, don’t stop coloring your beautiful picture, this picture called life, in fear of the “teacher.” Don’t stop coloring in fear of failure. Color on, my friend, and remember, your Heavenly Father loves you. He doesn’t hate you. He’s not going to tear up your beautiful masterpiece, because you fall outside the lines a little. He’s not going to yell at you, because your bold marks reach the edge of the page. He will guide you to a better way. He will let you grow, and He will help you to learn His ways. He will convict your heart of the error, but He will not condemn you for your mistake. He will direct you to a better path, and His love will convince you of the needed change. His grace will draw you a new picture, and His mercy will help to fill in the gaps. When you truly see Him, you will never be the same.

“The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.” Lamentations 3:22-23

Expectancy

Expectations.

We all have them.

We all set them.

Sometimes, they’re set too high,

And we grow frustrated and angry, sorrowful and discouraged.

Sometimes, they’re set too low,

And we act shocked, amazed, elated and even indignant.

Expectations.

We all receive them.

We all survive through them.

Sometimes, they make us feel warm, welcomed and embraced.

Sometimes, they leave us weary, battered and confused.

Expectations.

Maybe, if we could learn the difference between grace and judgment,

They would be easier to give.

Maybe, if we realized the perfect balance is found in love and absolute truth,

They could be easier to live.

Penned – MG – 11/24/14

Help Me To See

I look in the mirror and see my own face.

I tend to neglect the needy to embrace.

I listen intently to hear my own voice.

I seem to ignore the hurting that need to rejoice.

 

I go my own way, busy in my own life,

Forgetting You’ve called me to be a good wife.

I run from here to there, scurrying to get the job done,

Neglecting You’ve told me to raise my young son.

 

I read in Your Word to always put Jesus first,

Believing that I do until I realize my own thirst.

I hear from Your servants, “Never make idols to love,”

Believing that I don’t until I recognize what they’ve become.

 

Change me and my perspective. Make me what You desire.

Draw me out and cleanse me from this filthy mire.

Transform this mind into the intellect You have planned.

Make this heart as malleable as the shifting sand.

 

I need Your touch; I need Your grace.

I long to feel your sweet embrace.

I long to walk beside You, hand in hand.

I thirst for Your righteousness and Your promise land.

 

Be my strength and my ever-present Light.

Be my focus and be my heart’s delight.

Be my reason to face each new day.

Be my guide and show me every step of Your way.

 

Help me to see those around me in need.

Open my ears to hear those who want to be freed,

Cause my hands to reach out to those in sin.

Give me the boldness to tell them how to change from what they’ve been.

 

Penned – MG – 6/29/02

The Chasm

So many hurting souls

So much sickness

So much pain

They hold onto hopelessness

They hold onto chains 

 

So many broken lives

So much confusion

So much strife

They hold onto faithlessness

They hold onto knives 

 

My heart weeps at the loss

My spirit grieves at the void

The chasms of empty souls deepen

As all wisdom is forsaken

And all fallacies are breathed in 

 

My eyes strain from the hurt

My hands grasp for sanity and relief

This canyon of death is all-consuming

As they jump for loss of reason

And crash to the end, never resuming 

 

There is only on chance of survival

Only One can mend this paroxysm 

 

So many truths to give

So much forgiveness

So much love

He holds the very breaths we breathe

He holds the good gifts from above 

 

So many fulfilling promises

So much mercy

So much grace

He holds the moments within His hands

He holds our very life to embrace 

 

Penned – MG – 10/30/14

You Do Not See

I stand here with my arms stretched wide;

You see me, but You only turn to hide.

I wait patiently for you to answer my call;

You hear me, but you only build up this wall.

 

I love you My child. Why can’t you understand?

I died for you. From my presence, you, I did not band.

I am there by your side at every twist and turn,

But you do not heed, my words you only burn.

 

Your ‘good’ words, I do not care.

On my back, bloody stripes I did bear.

Your pleasant smile, I do not see.

On my head, a crown of thorns I did heed.

 

Long ago, all of this I did endure.

All for your heart, I hoped to allure.

But still you wait for a better time.

You do not see that the time is only Mine.

Penned – MG – 6/27/99

Growing Old Gracefully

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I took this picture today after I had caught a reflection of myself in the mirror smiling. Earlier in the day, I had been at a wedding and ran into an old friend. We were sitting on opposite sides of the room during the ceremony, and she told me later that, when she first saw me, she hadn’t recognized who I was until I smiled. I’m not sure I’ve ever considered my smile unique; yet, after my friend said that, I started thinking…
They say it takes less muscles to smile than it does to frown; so, I enjoy smiling, sometimes, just for the sake of smiling. I smile at my love, our boys, other kiddos, babies, adults, the elderly and even animals. It only takes a second, and it’s like sharing a moment with a stranger without delving too deep. I like it when I smile as I’m introducing myself to someone, and I see the instant change that happens in the other person. That instantaneous change from fear to confidence, from intimidation to acceptance, from apprehension to warmth and welcome.
I love what an authentic, energetic smile can do for someone’s day. It can cause a baby to start cooing and tweens and teens to start laughing hysterically. (Watch it! That can be contagious!) It can make an elderly person feel loved and valued, and it can make a parent feel capable of surviving that never ending day when nothing seems to be going right! Smiles change the face upon which they are worn, and smiles can transform another person’s day! They can change the whole atmosphere of a room, and they can alter attitudes and predispositions. Smiles can change things.
That’s when I decided to smile deliberately for the rest of my days. I want to grow old gracefully; I don’t want to become an old woman shriveled up like a “prune” (metaphorically speaking), clinging to all of the bitterness of life rather than embracing the good. I want to be full of life and vigor up to my dying day. I want to grasp hold of all that is full of delight, peace and joy. I want to be like the 80+ year old ladies in our church who still have laughter in their being, who can give bear hugs that can break a rib and who always has a funny story to share about her week. I want to be one of those ladies who have such beauty within that it just seems to smooth away all the wrinkles without. I want to be full of laughter, joy, peace and love. I want to be like that until my last breath. I want to be remembered as one who captured the greatest moments in life and who seemed to forget the hardships and pain…or at least who learned from these and moved far beyond them!
I believe it’s all a matter of perspective. Life is hard. It is what it is, but we each have a choice to grasp the bitter or embrace the best. I choose to count my blessings, no matter how big or small they may be. I choose to be that little lady who, in spite of pain, turmoil and strife, sees the grace her faith provides. I choose to see, in the midst of the storm, the sunbeams peeking through the clouds. I choose to learn from the hard and live in the grace. I choose to live life deliberately, love deeply, laugh spontaneously.
I want to grow old gracefully. Lord, let it be true in my life.
“She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come…Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.” Proverbs 31:25, 30

 

My Heart Says

I step out on faith, and I feel the whirlwind.

The gusts attempt to break my tired feet.

My anger tempts me to turn and not to bend,

But my heart says not to give in to the defeat.

I walk on not knowing where this will go;

This storm rages all around my weary head.

My sin tempts me to rebel so You will not know,

But my heart says to remember what You have said.

I run into Your loving arms, still fearing all Your wrath;

The rains are pouring down now on top of me.

My fears tempt me to put on this shiny mask,

But my heart says to uncover and allow You to see.

I stand in the great shadow of Your grace;

These clouds are cleansing from within me now.

My heart tempts me to hide my prideful face,

But my heart says to You only will I bow.

Penned – MG – 8/1/99

The Storm

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The storm rages within my heart.

The anger is building. I only want to scream.

Lord, please do not let this become sin.

These clouds of pain threaten to overcome.

My heart is broken in two. Despair only wants to fill.

Lord, please do not let this fail to mend.

The winds of distance blow all over me.

The grief is suffocating. I only want to die.

Lord, please do not let this hate to contend.

The light of grace shines down to me.

The love is blinding. I only want to change.

Lord, please do not let this peace to grow dim.

The skies of joy are now all I see.

My heart is mended. Faith only wants to grow.

Lord, please do not let this happiness to ever end.

Penned – MG – 8/1/99