Grief: It Comes Unannounced

I wake up for the day, and you are there.

I lay my head on the pillow to sleep, and you are there.

I am consumed with my thoughts, and you are still there.

It seems I can’t escape you; your presence is always with me.

I walk along the trail with the trees looming, and you are there.

I wade along the shore with the shells shining, and you are there.

I sit among the people with the chatter boxes, and you are there.

It seems I can’t hide from you; your presence is ever with me.

You remind me of a lifelong friend, but I am not sure you are such a companion.

I’d like to be rid of you instead of making you a home.

I rise with the sun, and You are there.

I rest my eyes with the moon, and You are there.

I sort through my feelings and my thinking, and You are still there.

It seems I can’t evade You; Your presence is thick as billowed smoke.

I walk along the streets with the children playing, and You are there.

I hike to the mountaintops with silence deafening, and You are there.

I plunge into the darkness with the fears looming, and You are still there.

It seems I can’t elude You; Your presence is encircled as a cloak.

You remind me that You are a friend, and I am grateful you stick closer than a brother.

I’d like to welcome you for eternity, for Your presence shadows all the pain.

And I will pray the Father, and He will give you another Helper, that He may abide with you forever— the Spirit of truth, whom the world cannot receive, because it neither sees Him nor knows Him; but you know Him, for He dwells with you and will be in you. I will not leave you orphans; I will come to you.

John 14:16-18

Grief: It Comes In Waves

There’s no limit to grief.

There’s no timeframe, no confines, no box in which to place it.

It just is. Grief.

The loss can be a spouse, a child, a parent, a grand, or even a friend.

There’s no hinderance of relation that changes it.

It just is. Grief.

And it can come in waves just like the ocean.

It can be quite peaceful, making you look twice to see if it’s still there.

It can roll in unexpectedly, with riptide and tumultuous waves.

It can swirl around like a hurricane, seemingly with no end and no beginning.

It is just what it is. Grief.

Just as the tide recedes but always returns, so it is with grief and the pain of the loss.

Just as the ocean never stops, but it has its peace and its rage, so it is with grief.

As expanse as the ocean, the emotions of grief.

And sometimes, to cope best is to grab a board and surf the waves.

For only from atop can you clearly view and find the shore.

Penned – MG – 5/11/22

Set your mind on things above, not on things on the earth.

Colossians 3:2

We are hard-pressed on every side, yet not crushed; we are perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed.

2 Corinthians 4:8-9

Grieving Heart

Oh, Grieving heart

I know you’re broken.

I know you’re shattered.

I know you feel it deep beyond the bone.

Don’t think you have to smile.

Don’t assume you have to sing.

Don’t believe you have to laugh.

Only look up.

Now when these things begin to happen, look up and lift up your heads, because your redemption draws near.

Luke 21:28

Life Isn’t Fair

One that is evil is left to keep living.

One that is good is taken too soon.

One that is friendly is kept among friends.

One that is lonely is left alone to the end.

Life isn’t always fair.

Life doesn’t always make sense.

Everybody has a story to tell.

Everybody has a scar that shares hell.

That one who hurts the most has to reach to another.

That one who drains the life takes even the morsel.

That one who cries the longest must be silenced.

That one who glares the hardest is allowed the violence.

Life isn’t always fair.

Life doesn’t always make sense.

Everybody has a story to tell.

Everybody has a scar that shares hell.

There is One who bled while others were hailed.

There is One who winced while others scoffed.

There is One who was pierced while others were passive.

There is One who died while all others lived.

Life isn’t fair, but there is a hope.

Life doesn’t always make sense, but there is a love.

His story is the redemption to tell.

His scars are proof He conquered hell.

Penned – MG – 5/9/22

And He bearing His cross went forth into a place called the place of a skull, which is called in the Hebrew Golgotha: Where they crucified Him, and two other with Him, on either side one, and Jesus in the midst.

John 19:17-18

…who Himself bore our sins in His own body on the tree, that we, having died to sins, might live for righteousness—by whose stripes you were healed.

1 Peter 2:24

For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.

John 3:16

Not Home Yet

My heart longs for a land I’ve never seen.

My soul yearns for a country I’ve not yet entered.

My memory is drawn to a lane it’s never walked.

My eyes search for a site I’ve not yet lived.

I wonder how I can dream of a place I’ve never been, and then I remember.

We’re not home yet.

We’ve not yet received the decree.

We’ve not yet acquired the dream.

We’ve not yet taken hold of the promise.

We’ve not yet been enraptured by the hope.

But rest assured. It’s coming.

Now I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away. Also there was no more sea. Then I, John, saw the holy city, New Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband. And I heard a loud voice from heaven saying, “Behold, the tabernacle of God is with men, and He will dwell with them, and they shall be His people. God Himself will be with them and be their God. And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes; there shall be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying. There shall be no more pain, for the former things have passed away.

Revelation 21:2-7

Presence

Be Present

Be present where you are.

People matter.

Be present in the moment.

When you’re grouching on your son, but really, you’re grouchy because you’re still seething from the argument with your man.

When you’re snappy with the cashier, but really, you’re wanting to snap at your little girl who accidentally spilt the chips in aisle 3.

When you’re ill with your neighbor, but really, you’re grouchy because the car seat got ripped; you spilled your coffee, and you just dropped your keys while your arms are full.

Be present where you are.

That little boy is following.

That young lady is watching.

That neighbor is searching.

People matter.

Be present in the moment.

Take your eyes off of you.

Look around and really see.

Open your ears to truly hear.

To everything there is a season,

A time for every purpose under heaven…

Ecclesiastes 3:1

Grief

Grief sucks.

That is all.

… … … … …

No. That is not all.

Here’s an open message to whomever needs it:

Don’t just leave your relationships hanging through this life.

Show up.

Be present.

Be engaged in their lives.

If they’re the jerk, then have the ability to speak truth when needed.

If they’re toxic, then have the guts to remove yourself when needed before you follow suit.

If you’re the unimaginable fool, then have the courage to admit it and make it right.

And for goodness sake, if it’s truly mental issues that keep you from them (or them from you), then get help for all involved, and do it now.

The distance isn’t worth it.

The void isn’t fair.

The heart wrenched cries are undeserving.

The questions when you’re (they’re) gone are too complicated to add to this process of grief.

The pain that is left in the wake of this kind of ignorance, in the dawn of sorrow, can be beyond capability.

And if you’re the one experiencing the anguish of brokenness:

Don’t allow that heartache to consume you to the point of disengagement.

Keep breathing.

Keep putting one foot in front of the other.

Get up in the morning.

Even if you must crawl.

I know it’s hard. I know it’s beyond hard.

And I know no grief is the same.

No one can tell you the “perfect way” to grieve; it is a different theater of actors for all.

But you can grieve right

Grieve in truth.

Grieve in love.

Grieve in reality.

And grieve with HOPE.

Hope is the only reason to even walk through the pain.

Hope will carry you though this life and allow your heart to beat and your lungs to exhale even when you’d rather fall into the grave.

Brothers and sisters, we do not want you to be uninformed about those who sleep in death, so that you do not grieve like the rest of mankind, who have no hope. For we believe that Jesus died and rose again, and so we believe that God will bring with Jesus those who have fallen asleep in him.

1 Thessalonians 4:13-14

Yes, my soul, find rest in God; my hope comes from him. Truly he is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will not be shaken. My salvation and my honor depend on God; he is my mighty rock, my refuge. Trust in him at all times, you people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge.

Psalm 62:5-8

Living in the Overflow

We all live in the overflow…

But which overflow you choose is vital to your vitality and peace.

You can choose to live in the overflow of anxiety: no peace can be found here, no rest for your weariness, no strengthening for your bones, no joy for your sanity.

But this choice is on the list. It’s your decision to pick it from the bunch.

You can choose to live in the overflow of anger: utter rage will consume you, suspicious and discomfort will be your bed and pillow, every moment filled with drama, every relationship teeters on the edge of fire.

But this choice is on the list. It’s your decision to pluck it from the bundle.

You can choose to live in the overflow of nothingness: no happiness can be found here, no purpose for your apathy, no relief for your depression, no clarity for your fog.

But this choice is on the list. It’s your decision to pull it from the plunder.

You can choose to live in the overflow of sorrow: grief will swallow you, tears will be your blanket, every second enveloped by brokenness, every friendship walking on the knife’s edge of the grave.

But this choice is on the list. It’s your decision to grasp it from the pile.

Or you can choose to live in the overflow of grace: no loneliness can diminish you, no indifference can devalue you, no hatred can murder you, no fear can unravel you.

It is your choice. You have the ability to select from the narrative and create your own story.

The freedom of truth is waiting.

Come and drown in the overflow.

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.

Romans 15:13

Therefore if the Son makes you free, you shall be free indeed.

John 8:36

The Daddy-Daughter Dance

February… Oh, how it begins the painful dance of my heart each year.

It’s not that I’m angry. It’s not that I’m hating what I see. It’s just a longing within my once little girl heart that will never be fulfilled.

The beautiful pictures plastered all over social media bring sweet memories never beheld. Precious relationships promising treasured protection and defense for all her days.

His large frame casts a shadow not of harm or destruction but of love and nurture. Her petite form is sheltered, cherished and adored. They stand in parade for all to appreciate and celebrate.

I am thankful for his place in her life. I am grateful for her desire for his strength and fortitude. I truly am.

Yet, my heart breaks time and again for the wee little one standing at the door, her packed bags awaiting his never return. She forms her own dance, spinning, twirling, hoping for his hand; yet, he never extends it.

Someway, somehow, she makes it to the One who holds the key. With tears streaming, hopes shattered and dreams crushed, He takes her into His arms, and swirls her life into a new masquerade where she can smile again and forever more be held where she always wished to be. ❤️

The Lord your God in your midst, The Mighty One, will save; He will rejoice over you with gladness, He will quiet you with His love, He will rejoice over you with singing.

Zephaniah 3:17

Reduced to a Box

His life was one of a restless heart

Never staying long to bury the roots

He’d come in with the wind and leave in a whim

Like a bull’s entrance into the gate

And a butterfly’s flight back out the door

His smile was one of mischief and charm

Never intending to leave a scar

He’d laugh easily and bring delight to the room

Like an otter’s dip for a swim

And a squirrel’s scurry through the forest limbs

Yet, his absence was one of deep canyons and chasms

Never able to bridge the loss of time and space

He’d search to find solace in the bottle once again

Like rabbit seeking shade in the shelter of the croc

And a cat finding the comfort of a strange prickly friend

His life was one of reconciled grace

Never destined beyond that one purpose

He’d discover that love and then enter in

Like a starfish tumbling inside the wave

And a bird of prey diving for its mark

His legacy is one of complicated honor

Never being understood or truly embraced

He’d not be reduced to a box full of memories

Like a bear hibernating behind the winter snow

And a turtle buried beneath the frostline mud

Penned – MG – 1/20/22

For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Romans 6:23

…but these are written that you may believe that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of God, and that believing you may have life in His name.

John 20:31

For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.

John 3:16