The Daddy-Daughter Dance

February 1, 2022 / The WheatandTares / 2 Comments

February… Oh, how it begins the painful dance of my heart each year.

It’s not that I’m angry. It’s not that I’m hating what I see. It’s just a longing within my once little girl heart that will never be fulfilled.

The beautiful pictures plastered all over social media bring sweet memories never beheld. Precious relationships promising treasured protection and defense for all her days.

His large frame casts a shadow not of harm or destruction but of love and nurture. Her petite form is sheltered, cherished and adored. They stand in parade for all to appreciate and celebrate.

I am thankful for his place in her life. I am grateful for her desire for his strength and fortitude. I truly am.

Yet, my heart breaks time and again for the wee little one standing at the door, her packed bags awaiting his never return. She forms her own dance, spinning, twirling, hoping for his hand; yet, he never extends it.

Someway, somehow, she makes it to the One who holds the key. With tears streaming, hopes shattered and dreams crushed, He takes her into His arms, and swirls her life into a new masquerade where she can smile again and forever more be held where she always wished to be. ❤️

The Lord your God in your midst, The Mighty One, will save; He will rejoice over you with gladness, He will quiet you with His love, He will rejoice over you with singing.
Zephaniah 3:17

Reduced to a Box

January 24, 2022May 9, 2022 / The WheatandTares / 2 Comments

His life was one of a restless heart

Never staying long to bury the roots

He’d come in with the wind and leave in a whim

Like a bull’s entrance into the gate

And a butterfly’s flight back out the door

His smile was one of mischief and charm

Never intending to leave a scar

He’d laugh easily and bring delight to the room

Like an otter’s dip for a swim

And a squirrel’s scurry through the forest limbs

Yet, his absence was one of deep canyons and chasms

Never able to bridge the loss of time and space

He’d search to find solace in the bottle once again

Like rabbit seeking shade in the shelter of the croc

And a cat finding the comfort of a strange prickly friend

His life was one of reconciled grace

Never destined beyond that one purpose

He’d discover that love and then enter in

Like a starfish tumbling inside the wave

And a bird of prey diving for its mark

His legacy is one of complicated honor

Never being understood or truly embraced

He’d not be reduced to a box full of memories

Like a bear hibernating behind the winter snow

And a turtle buried beneath the frostline mud

Penned – MG – 1/20/22

For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Romans 6:23

…but these are written that you may believe that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of God, and that believing you may have life in His name.
John 20:31

For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.
John 3:16

Let It Live Elsewhere

December 20, 2021December 19, 2021 / The WheatandTares / 4 Comments

I read this, and it settled in like a long awaited truth to my soul.

This idea of letting go of pain, of allowing it to be placed somewhere outside our body, outside our mind, can be so healing.

When we hold pain and sorrow, it only brings more agony and anxiety.

When we constrain the heartache we’ve lived, it only brings more shattered dreams.

It only brings more grief and breathlessness.

Don’t restrain the tears.

Don’t stop the weeping.

Don’t halt the search for peace and joy.

But do allow that gut wrenching, earth shattering, all consuming knife within your soul to be let go.

If pen and paper bring an ease, then let the words fly as if being chased by a cobra.

If paint and canvas bring a breath of fresh air, then create the masterpiece of a lifetime.

If a song can be sung or a lyric be written, then allow the harmony to find it’s way as a raindrop finds the groove in a muddy hillside.

But clear that affliction from your thoughts.

Issue that grievance a pardon or prison sentence to far away lands.

Surrender that anguish from your heart and begin to breathe again.

Freedom comes with the release.

Now, go live.

And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes; there shall be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying. There shall be no more pain, for the former things have passed away.”
Revelation 21:4

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort those who are in any trouble, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. For as the sufferings of Christ abound in us, so our consolation also abounds through Christ. Now if we are afflicted, it is for your consolation and salvation, which is effective for enduring the same sufferings which we also suffer. Or if we are comforted, it is for your consolation and salvation. And our hope for you is steadfast, because we know that as you are partakers of the sufferings, so also you will partakeof the consolation.
2 Corinthians 1:3-8

The Lord is my shepherd;
I shall not want.
He makes me to lie down in green pastures;
He leads me beside the still waters.
He restores my soul;
He leads me in the paths of righteousness
For His name’s sake.
Psalm 23:1-3

One Year Later

December 6, 2021December 19, 2021 / The WheatandTares / 4 Comments

Sat down to write Christmas cards tonight

Only to realize, I had to make a transfer to create more room

As I rewrote each name and address, one change kept coming up

So many things are different one year later

A friendship that has been washed out

A wife who decided to walk away

A grandparent has left for the other side

A husband who said goodbye forever

My heart broke after I wrote one name and not the other

My eyes shed tears as I remembered what was lost

My inhale grew a little deeper and the exhale a little longer

So many things have changed just one year later

A bond forgotten for brighter days

A dream shattered beyond recognition

A once in a lifetime sliced beyond repair

A light that grew dimmer until it smoldered

Oh, how I wish I could wave a little wand

Make wronged things right and old things anew

Oh, how I pray You’d come back sooner

Make desolate times dissipate with a feverish hope

You can change so many unraveled in so much less than one year later…

The Hidden Battle

December 2, 2021December 1, 2021 / The WheatandTares / 4 Comments

Memories of you swirl around my head as I swat them away like flies.

I fight feelings of anger and grief as I pick up the shattered pieces of my heart.

I struggle to paint the smile I’ve learned to wear so well as if it’s an extra skin.

I look into the mirror and despise what I see because the reflections of the past come shining through.

Thoughts of you roll through my brain as if they have stolen permission to remain.

I battle the turmoil within, trying to make sense of the void and chasm of pain.

I wrestle with my flesh to hide the sorrow so I might glance with kindness on another.

I gaze at the pictures you left behind and loathe the resemblances that cannot be shred.

Recollections ramble through my mind as that one calls your name as I look away.

I resist the hatred that threatens to take hold, as I reach out openhanded for His love.

I assail the bitterness I can taste as if it were delights for my fancy and raise my hands in praise.

I search and await His hope that is beyond this present state of being and take confidence knowing it won’t be long till His rescue is complete.

Penned – MG – 12/1/21

And not only that, but we also glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance; and perseverance, character; and character, hope. Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us.
Romans 5:3-5

Then Peter came to Him and said, “Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? Up to seven times?” Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven.
Matthew 18:21-22

An Old Friend

December 1, 2021December 2, 2021 / The WheatandTares

Some days, I simply awake with a sadness, a longing I can’t explain.

It’s not like I’ve had a bad day.

I’ve only just awakened.

Yet, the weight of pain creates tears that threatened to overflow.

I searched my thoughts to see if it’s a dream I may have had, a lack of sleep, or something that was said.

Some days, it’s just simply a feeling I must fight to see the sunshine again.

It’s not anyone’s fault.

I can’t find the one to blame.

It’s not a fitful night.

Yet, it’s like a fog that threatens to overcome my musings to darken my day.

I search for words that cannot be found and listen for comfort that cannot be grasped.

And then, I remember.

This is grief, an old but sneaky friend.

He slips in when you least expect it to settle into your morning routine like a weathered but comfy cloak.

Once his name has been revealed, I can open the blinds and let the sun beams warm my face and watch as it chases away the rain.

For grief isn’t here to crush my soul.

It is only here to remind me to feel deeply, to breathe slowly, and to focus my heart on what is to come.

And when Hope is what is to come, grief can no longer consume my exhale.

Penned – MG – 12/1/21

Those who sow in tears
Shall reap in joy.
He who continually goes forth weeping,
Bearing seed for sowing,
Shall doubtless come again with rejoicing,
Bringing his sheaves with him.
Psalm 126:5-6

https://youtu.be/YNqo4Un2uZI

I do not own or posses this song, except via Apple music.

So Many Broken and Bruised

November 27, 2021 / The WheatandTares

I do not own or posses this pic.
Website: https://pixels.com/featured/mirror-reflection-loriental-photography.html

I look around at the festive gathering and underneath the smile, I see the broken and bruised.

I breathe in the cool breeze and wonder how the atmosphere can change so quickly.

I gaze across the room and fight the tears welling up as I see her laugh to hide the pain.

She wears her smirk as a veil to cover the scars that run too deep.

She flitters past to appear all together, never lighting too long to allow searching eyes to peer in.

She waved goodbye before the stories could resurface and the truth could be revealed.

Yet, in the final farewell, I saw the unshed tears held at bay by the dam of poise and finesse.

I heard the longing in her slight tremble when she claimed she’d be alright.

I watched as her frame faded into the night and wondered what shadows would chase her past the midnight.

Oh, how I wished I could bring her back.

I yearned to call her name and beg her to stay.

I looked in the mirror to see a remnant of her image peeking through the lighted reflection.

If she only recognized His love is still there waiting for her surrender.

If she only perceived His grace is still hanging on right where she left Him.

If she only realized His mercy never walked away.

She could come to know all the healing that she needed are the very things she left behind.

PENNED – MG – 11/27/21

What A Death Can Bring

November 9, 2021November 8, 2021 / The WheatandTares / 5 Comments

A death can bring so many lessons of life full circle.

It can remind you of a love that was never present and the broken heart with which you lived.

It can remind you of the laughter of fleeting moments you tried to grasp like grains of sand.

It can remind you of the shattered dreams you struggled to repair but never won.

A death can reach back to the recesses of your mind and coax the darkest memories to life.

It can replay the hours of abandonment and tears that fell like rain.

It can replay the joy of a child captured in fields of grace now covered with an early fog.

It can replay spouts of anger that burst forth like hidden minefields yet receded with the wind.

A death can teach so many miraculous things that only grief can ingrain.

It can instill confidence of who you once were and who you have become.

It can instill a wonder for your destiny and a yearning to travel a faster path.

It can instill a settling peace that confirms your life was meant to be.

A death can open the windows to the soul and draw the embers to build a flame.

A death can slam the door on the heart and smolder the very passion left to breathe.

The choice is yours to make in the midst of your sorrow, and only you can choose.

Penned – 11/8/22 – MG

And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes; there shall be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying. There shall be no more pain, for the former things have passed away.
Revelation 21:4

Those who sow in tears shall reap in joy.
He who continually goes forth weeping,
Bearing seed for sowing,
Shall doubtless come again with rejoicing,
Bringing his sheaves with him.
Psalm 126:5-6

Just Sit and Soak, Again

November 5, 2021November 5, 2021 / The WheatandTares

Sometimes, you’ve just got to sit and soak and let the weight of the world be washed away.

And sometimes, when you’ve already done this, you’ve got to do it again…

You alone are the Lord;
You have made heaven,
The heaven of heavens, with all their host,
The earth and everything on it,
The seas and all that is in them,
And You preserve them all.
The host of heaven worships You.
Nehemiah 9:6 nkjv